Sasuke refused to ride Kurama. Naruto refused to leave Sasuke behind.

So, they walked.

Well, Kurama grew to his true size and walked with Sai, Sakura, Naruto, and their sparse belongings secured to his fur by –what else?- magic. Sasuke trudged behind them on the ground, cursing every rock, tree root, and insect in existence.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said one humid afternoon.

He swatted fly. "No."

"Will you at least let me-"

"No."

"It would be a lot easier if-"

"I will not entrust my life to that flatulent flea-bag."

"Flatulent." Sakura raised a brow.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. "We can all smell it."

"Yes, because it's swamp gas, Sasuke-kun, due to the fact that we are in a swamp when we could be far, far above it."

"Don't waste your breath on that eunuch, dear cousin."

Sasuke bristled and growled something unintelligible.

"She has a point, ya know," Naruto piped up, rolling onto his stomach and resting his chin on his hands.

"So leave, usuratonkachi," the prince avoided his gaze, glaring at Kurama's bushy tail instead, "I'll make it to the meeting point on my own."

"Scardy-cat," Naruto grumbled.

"Brain-dead imbecile."

Sasuke knew he was being difficult. Not just for the sake of it, as some people might believe. He had good reasons. Let the others believe he was afraid of heights, flying, and the like. It wasn't untrue. It just wasn't the whole truth.

The whole truth was- was- he glanced furtively at the infuriating yellow-haired loser. Naruto caught him looking and tilted his head ador- stupidly. Sasuke scowled and turned away with an acerbic "tch." The whole truth was confusing, complicated, and inconvenient.

Life would be simpler if that dumbass could take a hint and leave.

Three humid, disgusting, stinky days later, the Avatar had a vision.

Naruto returned from his bathroom break behind a nearby tree looking flushed. A thread of drool hung from the corner of his mouth. Sasuke couldn't tear his eyes away from the- that because it was… Disgusting. Gross. Right. All good reasons to… Anyway.

"I saw- there was this really cute girl," the idiot sighed with stars in his eyes, "with a pet pig. Oh man, you guys should see that thing. It was completely white, which is weird for a pig ya know? And it had an gigantic pair of-"

"Testicles?" Sai was intrigued.

"Wings, you sicko!"

Naruto stomped his foot and pouted. The corner of his mouth still glistened with-

"Wipe your mouth."

"Huh?" Naruto scrubbed his face with the back of his hand, "Did I get it?"

"Hn. Let's go."

Sasuke and Sakura set up camp while Naruto, Sai, and Kurama searched for dinner. Sakura took this as an opportunity to make the prince see reason.

"This place is making Naruto act strange."

She talked as if that usuratonkachi wasn't a born-and-bred freak.

"Your point?" Sasuke replied absently, focused on driving stakes into the ground.

She sighed.

"Fine, you win," she huffed, unpacking the cooking pot, "I give up. We'll suffer through this reeking hell-swamp for Kami knows how long, because of your stubbornness. Happy now?"

Great, the spacing was wrong. Or was it the depth? "…No."

Sasuke could never be happy. That was his thing.

"Hilarious, Sasuke-kun. Pity that you're a prince. You'd make a legendary court jester."

He took a few steps back and wondered why something seemed off. How big was the tent supposed to be? "Watch your tongue, peasant."

"Watch yourself, your highness," Sakura teased, "you have an elbow leech."

"Where? Oh."

She shook her head with a sweet, good-natured smile. "Let me help."

No denying it: things were weird. Sakura wasn't referring to this creepy-ass swamp, though that goes without saying.

Something was up with Sasuke. Well, Naruto and Sasuke.

Yes. Shocking. Who woulda thunk it. Usually, those two got along swimmingly. They were basically best friends, two peas in a pod, a pair of whacky peanuts sharing one tiny shell, permanently fused at the hip by the force of their legendary bromantic love for each other.

Sakura giggled. Cha, if only!

"Cousin?" Sai asked.

"It's nothing."

They'd been slogging through mud, sludge, and shifting tree roots for a solid week. When they made camp at nightfall, the group divided the chores: hunting, cooking, pitching the tent, shifts for keeping watch.

By some strange coincidence, Sasuke and Naruto never volunteered for the same task. Well, Naruto would say he was up for something, and Sasuke deliberately chose work that would require no interaction with him. Sakura didn't think much of it at first- like, c'mon! Those two were always at each other's throats. A little space was just what the doctor ordered.

Until Sasuke –Sasuke Uchiha, the beautiful, surly man-child, future king of the fire nation- offered to gather food alone with Sai. Which -don't get it twisted, Sakura loved her cousin, quirks, perversions, warts and all- but. But. Something about that didn't sit well.

And then there was Naruto, bless his poor besotted soul. The boy tried to not to show it, but you can't hide a matter of the heart from a girl as clever as Sakura.

Sasuke's cold (-er than usual) treatment really hurt him. When he thought no one was watching, Naruto's smile faltered. His laughter was a little forced. His eyes appeared closer to gray than blue, and not just because of the murky lighting in this dingy, reeking shitscape.

Sakura drove a stake into the semi-dry patch of ground with more force than necessary because, honestly, fuck this swamp.

The girl was all too familiar with that feeling; she was no stranger to unrequited love. She remembered her first. He was one of the men sent from the North Pole to help repair the village, shortly after the first fire nation attacks. A tall, pretty, lean, older boy with long, wavy white hair that reminded Sakura of moon beams filtering through water.

Cheesy? Check. Dramatic? Of course.

She really, really had it bad.

Haru only pretended not to notice Sakura's advances, though she didn't realize it at the time. He wasn't interested, but Sakura thought he was just shy. After a full week of dropping hints (and other things, so that she could deliberately bend over and pick them up) she gathered her courage and confessed.

"Haru-kun… I love you."

"Sakura-san, you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent young woman. Any man would be lucky to have you."

Cha, like she didn't already know that.

"So do you…"

"Unfortunately, that man can not be me."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid that I am… How to say this… Homosexual."

"Oh." She could live with that. "Alright, I hope we can stay friends."

A few days later, she found him in an igloo with her then-best friend. Her very female best friend, Ino. Said igloo was promptly demolished. She froze Haru and that pig together in a solid block of ice, but left their noses exposed. Hey, she was pissed, but that's no reason to commit murder.

Sakura had decided not to take it personally. Any friend who did something like that was never really a friend to begin with. Any guy without the balls to be honest wasn't worth the penguin shit on her moccasins.

So, she took it as a blessing, thanked the spirits for showing her the truth, and moved on.

See? Life is easy as long as you have your priorities straight.

This little dance between the Avatar and the young prince was funny for a while. But honestly, at this point, several months later, it was hard to watch. Sakura knew the two boys were too stubborn to listen to reason. Direct intervention was out of the question. Whatever their problem was, they'd have to work it out together.

Alone.

"Sai and I will gather dinner and firewood-" she declared on the eighth night, "while you two set up camp."

"Sakura-" Sasuke said.

She held up a finger, "And if I find a single burn mark anywhere, or holes in the canvas, or anything to indicate that you children couldn't complete this simple task without keeping your hands to yourselves, well," the swamp water below their camp site churned and gurgled ominously, "Let's hope it won't come to that."

Sai raised an eyebrow as they walked away. Sakura whistled innocently. Kurama glanced from the Water Tribe cousins to the scowling pair duo at the campsite and darted away with a condescending snort.

Behave yourselves.

Sakura paused to pat his little head, earning a pleased yip and wet lick. She smiled. Things would work themselves out. She could feel it.

As it turns out, things did not work themselves out.

If anything, they got worse.

Sakura sighed. So much for that brilliant plan. Really, it was more of a gambit anyway. No need to beat herself up about it.

The group sat in tense silence as they ate giant insects for dinner.

Naruto's gaze flicked from Sasuke, to the fire, to Kurama curled up at his feet, and back to the prince.

"Did something…" Sakura mused.

"No," they objected simultaneously, exchanged a heated glare, then turned away.

"…Right."

Sai nibbled the bug's succulent thorax. "…pair of dickless wonders…" he murmured before swallowing and taking a larger bite.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto hissed.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Don't encourage him, idiot."

"Who're you calling an idiot, you damn coward?"

"Obviously you'd call someone a coward for refusing to indulge some senseless, irresponsible whim," Sasuke replied, "Because You. Are. An. .ot." He spat each syllable, cutting the last word into three distinct parts. The insect blackened and sizzled under his fingertips.

"Seriously," she was starting to get worried, "what happened?"

"Nothing!" they shouted in unison.

The silence returned. Sakura wondered. Sai reached into the cooking pot for seconds. As he stared into the fire, Naruto remembered.

A few hours earlier...

Sometimes, he wondered if Sasuke was right to call him an idiot. Because after their little chat, fight, whatever, in the woods, like an idiot, he expected the lingering awkwardness between them to just… Go away. So okay, fine, Sasuke did what he thought he had to do. He saved both their lives multiple times. Naruto didn't know how else to thank him, so he respected that jerk's wishes and didn't bring it up again.

See, he could be mature.

Anyways, weren't they on the same side now? Shouldn't they be making an effort to, like, get to know each other and work together? If the Uchiha was really a genius like everyone said, why couldn't he get something that simple?

They worked in silence for a while. Well, Sasuke worked while Naruto watched him work. Every time he tried to help, he was met with a glare and a scowl. Then, Sasuke undid and redid whatever Naruto tried to help with, all without saying a single word.

Bastard.

It was so unfair. Even when he was being a pissy asshole, he just had to do it looking so cool and calm and so heart-breakingly pretty. Not that- that- Argh!

Naruto plopped onto the ground with an angry huff. He really couldn't take it anymore. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"'m not," Sasuke muttered, handing two long poles to Naruto.

The Avatar stood and followed. "Cut the bullshit, bastard."

"Hold this steady," Sasuke instructed before muttering "…calls me a liar… that usutatonkachi… can't even keep…"

"Sasuke," Naruto sighed, "you won't even look at me."

"My sincerest apologies, Avatar," he drawled, adjusting the angle of the center post ropes, "I forget that to properly pitch a tent, it is imperative that one must never keep one's eyes on the task at hand. After all, your bottomless appetite for attention should always be my first priority. "

Well, ouch. That one hit a little close to home, which meant that Naruto was on the right track. He had a long time to study the prince's defense mechanisms. A sarcastic speech to start a fight and avoid the issue was classic Uchiha bullshit. Naruto was practically immune at this point.

"Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Say. What." Sasuke bit out as he hammered the stakes into the ground.

"Un. I've tried to be nice about this, ya know," he reached for the other stake, only to have his hand slapped away, "because you didn't want- but we can't go on like this."

"Interesting. I wonder… Do we speak the same language?"

"Huh?"

"Most of the time, I understand the words you say. The individual words. But, somehow, when you put them all together, nothing makes sense. Isn't that remarkable?"

"Fine," Naruto took a deep breath, "I'll say it."

Silence. A shuffling noise as Sasuke unrolled the canvas.

"I'd tell you the suspense is killing me but at this rate," he muttered, "I'm more afraid I'll die of old age."

Naruto opened and closed his mouth a few more times. How was a guy supposed to- ah, fuck it.

"Was it really that horrible for you? What we- what happened in that cave?"

"Hm? No! I had a great time, what with being stuck in the dark for hours, thinking you were going to die again-" something sounded off about that part "-bleeding from my skull and seeing things. Best vacation ever."

"Asshole."

"Hn."

"I was. Ah," he coughed, "I wasn't talking about that part."

Sasuke was adjusting the canvas with a single-minded focus. He said nothing.

"The kiss."

"Ssh!"

Well, at least this got a reaction.

"See?"

"Keep your voice down," Sasuke hissed, glancing over his shoulder.

"It's still bothering you."

No response.

So, he was right.

"I can't figure out why. I mean, you're the one who-" kissed me first "-and I thought-" it was good for both of us because I'm a great kisser, damn it! "-but okay. Like, did you hate doing it so much that you can't even…" the pain in his chest rushed to his throat, cutting off his next words, stand to be around me anymore.

"That's not the issue."

"Then what?"

The bastard was too busy fixing he shape of the tent to respond.

"Ya know," Naruto persisted, "You just admitted there was an issue. Come on, S'uke."

"My name is Sasuke. Sa-su-ke. Say it right, moron."

"Don't change the subject. It's fine if you hated it. We don't have to do it again-" spirits, he hoped that wasn't true "-Unless... Wait, don't tell me you liked it?" Because honestly, at the time… Naruto's face lit up wickedly at that ridiculous notion. Wouldn't that be hilarious? "Oh, widdle Sasu-chan had her first kiss and it was everything she never knew she wanted," he said in a high-pitched voice, "Her heart is aflutter with so many new feelings, and she just doesn't know what to do!"

Sasuke's cheeks flushed a soft, delicate pink as he turned away. "I'm not a girl."

Oh. No way. No freaking way. Naruto's jaw unhinged. His mouth went dry. He had to clear his throat a few times before he could even speak again.

"So... You liked it."

Notes: Btw if you don't know what to say in a comment, it would help if you talked about what parts were funny, especially if they made you laugh. Many times, people have said "omg x made me laugh" and it's like... Um... That wasn't supposed to be funny. So. Help a writer get some perspective? Thanks.

To that one reviewer: yeah, this is also posted to my AO3 account (user name is on the profile) and it's technically NaruSasu(Naru?) if that's what you're talking about, lol. I'm posting this story to both sites as an experiment.

I've noticed fics that are well-received on AO3 are basically ignored on FF and vice-versa. So far, that hypothesis is proving to be correct.