Beyond Reality
Chapter 10: To Summon the Dead
To say that Lenne found the group of travellers rather odd was a bit of an understatement. The longer she trekked with them, the more apparent it became. Initially, she hadn't really taken note of their eccentricities—she'd seen enough of the world to bypass most such qualities. However, with time came contemplation, her brain slowly but surly beginning to register how entirely odd they really were.
For one, the way they grouped up. It was quite apparent that their formation while travelling was habit. And not habit in the sense of military training or even logical fiend defenses. Rather, it struck her as though they'd travelled as such prior, and for a longer distance. Which told her they hadn't just recently begun their journeying.
The whole thing seemed to revolve around the brunette, Yuna. She was the center. On either side of her, Wakka and Lulu could generally be found. Not directly, but in the general vicinity of the definition of "beside." Auron was always point, leading them on, while the two blondes hovered back and forth. In different ways, however. Tidus seemed to ping-pong back and forth between all of them, though generally Yuna was still his center and where he always returned to—as though tethered. The Al bhed, on the other hand, gave herself free reign, hovering mostly on the outskirts of the group. Based on the clear lines of the formation, actually, Lenne would almost assume that there had once been another to their party who had kept up the rear. It was the only area generally lacking, and where she'd come to place herself most of the time.
It was strange to her, such a protective ring around one person. It made her even more curious about Yuna, and who she was to be so clearly guarded. It was apparent the group had plenty of experience being her protectors, but their motives for doing so were utterly lost on Lenne.
That aside, their was also the race variable. The world in which they travelled was clearly defined. Certain people belonged in certain places. Not that it was odd to see different sorts of people in different parts of the world, but never travelling together like this. In a rural, comfortable way. Rather, most who travelled between city-states did so for business, not pleasure. That these people, all of them so different, were claiming to come from Zanarkand was utterly ridiculous. Clearly, however, they didn't realize as much.
The only one of them, actually, that Lenne might have believed was actually from Zanarkand was Tidus. With his smaller build (though he was clearly very muscular), tanned skin, and softer features, he was the poster-boy for claiming Northern descent, much like herself. The others, however, raised questions.
Auron and Lulu, with their dark hair, light skin, warm eyes, and thicker builds, were obviously of Baen ancestry. More the type to be seen to the southeast in Baaj. Yuna, on the other hand, was more centralized. Pale with mid-toned features, she was the kind one would see more predominantly in Bevelle or even as far south as Djose. Other than her one green eye, of course, which told Lenne that she was what some would call a half-breed—part one kind and part another. In this case, Al bhed. Which brought her to Rikku. The Al bhed generally populated the islands to the west, though their influence had been drifting over to the mainland over the last few decades (an Al Bhed was leading Bevelle, after all). They could also be found further south in places like Luca, or even with the islanders. Which was what Wakka had to be. Built huge with dark skin and bright hair, he had to be from somewhere like Besaid or Kilika. That, and the accent gave him away as well. Yet they all got along and travelled together as though it were no big deal. Some were even in relationships. Not that Lenne had a problem with such, but generally it wouldn't have been accepted. A down-water islander with a prim and proper Baen woman? Or even a Zanarkand native with a woman who was clearly from somewhere south of the Sancist Mountains?
And yet Lenne found herself caught on one little hiccup. Yuna claimed to have been going through summoner training. But Lenne had rarely seen a summoner with such pale, central features. In the Zanarkand she knew, someone like her would have been turned away at the temple doors, not even allowed to fathom the idea. Unless she'd been able to prove her lineage, as High Priestess Yunalesca had. Born of a man from Zanarkand and a woman from Remiem, her pale, snowy features had been ignored in favor of her summoning gifts.
It was all very strange.
Yet she dared not ask. It was clear to everyone that she was hiding just as much from them as they were from her. She just found it so beyond social norms to see such a group together, and knowing each other so well. Crossing race barriers as if they weren't even there. Granted, there were exceptions—people born with features unlike those of their home, but not so many together in one place.
She'd never seen such cooperation before. Or consideration. She had half a mind to warn them, whoever they were, that they'd likely get some weird looks if they weren't careful. Not that such a troupe together was enough to draw hostile attention, but it was certainly stare-worthy. Warning them, however, would give away the fact that she didn't believe their Zanarkand story. Seeing as they had nearly reached Bevelle, she had no desire to rupture the subject.
Whatever it was they were hiding, it was none of her business.
Thus, her thoughts were kept to herself, her acquaintances completely unaware of her suspicions. Rather, some of them were quite bored, Rikku sighing for about the billionth time as she came up behind Auron. He'd already told her to leave him alone once, but there was hardly anything to do. This close to the city, fiends were scarce, and she didn't want to keep bothering the "couples" of their group.
"So…." Auron sighed as she began speaking.
"What do you want Rikku?" he asked somewhat shortly, not even giving her the chance to voice whatever question she hadn't come up with yet that she was going to ask him.
"I'm bored," she whined, pouting some.
"Then go talk to someone else," he grumbled.
"I can't," she replied, sounding defeated. "Wakka and Lulu are whispering to each other, and Tidus and Yunie are acting stupid." And she'd already talked to Lenne, though it was hard to find things to discuss when they were hiding so much from the newcomer. Her last comment did manage to pull a slight brow furrow out of Auron however, Rikku noticing it right away and deciding it was invitation enough to continue. "I guess they're kind of cute," she glanced back at them over her shoulder, "but neither of them will talk to me when they're doing that silly, silent, barely-touching-each-other flirting thing they do."
Auron didn't satisfy her with a response, Rikku fully aware of how he felt about the fact that Yuna and Tidus weren't making attempts to quell the feelings they had for one another.
"I am kinda jealous though." She sighed, turning to face forward once again as they headed up the shallow grade leading around to where they hoped Bevelle would be. "Wakka and Lulu have each other; Tidus and Yunie. Seeing them always together makes me wonder when I'll find someone." She kicked a stone.
Auron had no idea why she was telling him this.
"I always wanted to get married early," she continued, her mood rising suddenly as she smiled at the thought. "You know, and then have lots of kids! So they'd all have brothers and sisters."
"You act like it'll never happen," he mentioned coldly.
"Sometimes I don't think that it will." She shrugged. "Keep having to go on adventures instead." She actually sounded bitter, Auron getting some humor out of it despite the way he shook his head.
"You'll get your chance," he decided.
"I just want to be as happy as they are…"
"They're not happy," he replied, referencing Yuna and Tidus specifically. "Don't wish for that."
"Sure they are!" Rikku countered. "Just because you're not happy doesn't mean no one else can be."
"That's not what I'm saying and you know it."
"You're right, I know exactly what you're saying." She was serious all of a sudden, a side of her that rarely showed its face since the pilgrimage. "And I also know that you're wrong. I'm not an idiot, you know. I understand that Tidus and Yunie don't look like they have much of a happy ending right now, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy what little time they do have together."
"That will only make it more painful."
"You don't know that." She was practically accusing. "Nothing is set in stone. Maybe they'll find a way to stay together." Yet even as she said it, she knew she herself doubted such an outcome. She was determined to remain hopeful however, for their sakes.
And for Auron's sake too.
"Rikku, though we be in a dream, it is best to stay grounded in reality." The fall was softer that way. He'd learned that much over the course of the rather strange life he'd led. His advice was met with resistance, of course. Not that he was particularly surprised.
"Don't patronize me," she issued, Auron once again finding himself rather surprised by the gravity of her tone. Enough, in fact, for him to look at her out of the corners of his eyes. "I didn't ask for your advice. I've seen just as much as you have you know. Just as much death, and lost just as many people close to me. Maybe you've lived a little longer, but that doesn't make you any wiser.
"So don't patronize me. Just don't. Even if you don't take me seriously, you can at least treat me like the equal I am." She stared him down, since he'd turned his head to face her completely halfway through her speech. Her green eyes were burning, daring him to rebuke her words. Auron, however, merely turned away again, once more hunkering forward.
"Hey!" Rikku yelled after him. "Not even going to say anything?! You're so mean!" She stomped after him, naturally. "Don't just ignore me! I'm going to make sure you-"
"Rikku," he said her name, simple and quiet as always.
"What?!"
"Look," and he gestured forward, out over the hill they'd seemed to have been climbing for the last hour. Despite how she wanted to continue to berate him, Rikku was forced to look to where he'd directed, her eyes popping wide at what she saw.
She was speechless.
Before them stood Bevelle, seeming to fold out across the valley below. It wasn't anything like Zanarkand, the only other machina city any of them had ever seen. The buildings—the ones that stretched up toward the clouds—were pointed and severe, seeming to jut up from the ground like the shining blades of daggers, tiny windows ignited all along them and visible even in the broad light of the afternoon. Cars whipped through the air between them, small specks at their distance. Like a web, smaller, shorter buildings crept out from around the taller ones, stretching into the vale like arms grasping for leverage. To the west and east, the ocean were the borders, the grand city acting as a gate between them and the land beyond. Not that the group could see said land. The city pushed on for miles, the pointed skyscrapers fading beyond their line of sight.
"Wow…" The rest of their group was soon upon them, Wakka gaping as he took in the sight. He wasn't the only one to respond with similarly awed words. Even Tidus' eyes bugged, as Zanarkand was the only machina city he too had ever seen. Bevelle wasn't considered equally as impressive for nothing—and they quickly understood why a city like Zanarkand had been so thoroughly challenged.
However, it resembled nothing of the Bevelle in their Spira, all of them able to infer that sometime between the machina war and their time, it had been decimated by Sin. Transformed from this huge, severe metropolis into Yevon's haven, which was hardly a fraction the size of what was before them.
"You've never seen Bevelle before?" Lenne asked as she spotted their shocked expressions.
"No." Yuna shook her head, still quite awed by the sight. No wonder Lenne had referred to the cities as city-states. Had every machina city in Spira been like this?
"How are we supposed to find anyone in a place like that, ya?" Wakka asked breathlessly. Because, quite frankly, they hadn't anticipated that there'd be a city to rival Zanarkand. It'd always been referred to as the great machina city, as if there'd been nothing else to compare.
A falsity, as it turned out.
"If you have their name, you should be able to look them up in the city registry," Lenne offered, attempting to help. Auron agreed with her, covering for their slip-up, though he too was considering the same predicament. The population in Dream Spira was much higher than the Spira from which they reigned. How would they ever locate anyone? Especially since they didn't even have her name?
"Let's go, let's go!" Rikku issued as soon as she recovered her voice, her excitement beginning to spill over as she smiled at them all gleefully. "C'mon!" Her machina addiction was getting the better of her, the others not nearly so apt to move on now that they'd seen what they were up against. Well, with the exception of Tidus, who, though impressed, didn't feel quite one way or the other on the scene.
"Rikku, wait." Auron had reached out to her, the blonde having been on her way down the hill and headed to the city. It didn't take the others long to realize what had drawn his attention. Before them, walking up through the grass, were two women. It was clear that they were aimed at their group, their strides direct and pointed.
Lenne, however, didn't appear at all perturbed by the approach. Rather, confident, she separated from her newfound companions, hasty to meet the women that were still about a quarter mile beyond. Looking around at each other only quickly, the group silently agreed to follow, their nods exhibiting as much before they began to trudge across the grass after her.
It wasn't until they were beginning to be able to make out the facial features of the strangers that Yuna felt her breath pause. Blinking, she furrowed her brows, quite convinced that what she was seeing had to be false. One of the women, the shorter of the two, she could have sworn she recognized. However, the idea was obviously preposterous and, determined that it wasn't true, Yuna tried to logically view the situation.
Yet, ever the closer they came, the more convinced Yuna found she was that the approaching woman was someone she'd met before. Glancing up at Tidus quickly, who was at her side, she caught his eye, a similar look to her own on his face. With a single finger, he gestured forward, validating that Yuna wasn't the only one who recognized the woman.
They didn't have time to discuss the phenomenon however. Lenne had already reached them and was bowing respectfully, her hands forming the prayer she'd used with Yuna earlier. They did the same, implying that they, too, like Lenne, were familiar with customs that had originated in Zanarkand.
Or Spira, Yuna thought. But, to be frank, no matter how she considered the situation, she didn't understand how it could be possible. Certainly an unsent she'd met in Spira wouldn't have been old enough to be dreamed up here. Not one that had died trying to defeat Sin anyway. It didn't make any sense.
"We're glad we've finally met up with you," the stranger Yuna didn't recognize was saying as the group came up behind Lenne. Upon coming into view, the oddly familiar woman looked around at them, her eyes initially narrowed before becoming suddenly wide.
It had to be her. Yuna couldn't doubt it then. She'd recognized them.
Completely bypassing Lenne, much to both her and the other woman's surprise, she approached Yuna directly before bowing low and performing one of the select more formal bows all summoners had been taught. Taught, that was, when addressing those above themselves.
"Lady Belgemine," Yuna stated in shock, only remembering to bow accordingly when her old teacher rose again. She performed the simple, traditional bow, aware that, as a defeater of Sin, she was then of a higher consideration than the other summoner. It would be even ruder were she to address Belgemine as higher than herself—as though she were belittling the older woman.
"High Summoner Yuna," Belgemine addressed correctly, her raspy voice the same as Yuna remembered those many times they'd met along her road to Zanarkand. She was still the same rounded, intimidating figure she'd been then, though she'd shed her robes for attire more expected of their current location. A bow, however, was tied blatantly around both her wrists, her brown hair pulled up in tight buns on either side of her head.
"I don't understand," Yuna said, her guardians listening just as intently to the conversation. "How are you here?"
"I was thinking to ask you the same thing, Lady," she replied. "I dread to think that something has happened to you to bring you here."
"I still don't…" Yuna shook her head, both Lenne and the other woman, the latter also wearing a bow, turning their attention to the abrupt conversation. It was then that Yuna took note of the thin, black bows tied around each of Lenne's arms as well.
"As this is the Farplane, I would assume that the only way you could have come here was if you and your guardians," she nodded to them, "somehow perished upon Spira. A truly great loss after the peace you've brought the people." She bowed again, Lenne and the other woman's eyes going wide as they focused in on Yuna entirely.
"We're not dead," Rikku piped in. "We came in through the Farplane." Well, except for Tidus and Auron, but that didn't seem worth mentioning at the moment.
Belgemine, looking only quickly to Rikku before going back to Yuna, furrowed her brows even more.
"What she says is true." Yuna nodded. "The Farplane in Spira has become unstable and we were called upon to investigate. When we stepped through the portal, we were brought here." Not the entire truth, but it got the point across.
"Then you are not mere memories, as we are."
"Belgemine!" the other strange woman addressed her harshly. "How dare you speak so freely of things to those outside our ranks! You will be-"
"Silence!" Belgemine snapped, turning back to the woman who had gaped in surprise. "You dare disrespect the Highest Summoner, Lady Yuna, Final Defeater of Sin? It is you who will be punished for your insolence." This was clearly enough to shock both the other woman and Lenne, the latter gaping as her brown eyes widened. She looked directly to Yuna, quite too shocked to mind her manners.
"You're High Summoner Yuna?" she gasped. "The High Summoner Yuna?" She'd gone pale, her brown eyes blinking as she digested the development. Yuna nodded once, unable to deny her identity any longer, and Lenne seemed to fidget before dropping down on a single knee and doing one of the most elaborate bows Yuna had ever been taught. Following suit, despite her scolding, the other woman did the same, Yuna feeling rather uncomfortable about the whole thing.
"How is it you're here?" Auron asked, ignoring the other two and addressing Belgemine directly.
"How is it that I couldn't be?" she asked. "We're in the Farplane, where the souls of the dead reside. Is it not natural that I should be here?"
"But this is a dream, isn't it?" Yuna asked, abruptly aware that they'd merely been assuming as much up until that point.
"Yes, this is," Belgemine accented their surroundings. "You are correct in that deduction. However, that doesn't stop me from walking upon it, or any of the dead strong enough to pull their memories together."
"Then you're not part of the dream?" Lulu asked.
"No." She shook her head. Silence fell over them then, a small group of individuals who'd left the city approaching them and passing by without alarm. It was apparent by how Belgemine watched them that what was discussed wasn't to be overheard.
"If I could, Lady, I would ask that you and your guardians come into the city with us, to the safety of our rooms so I might explain the situation to you further." She bowed once more, Yuna having half a mind to ask that she stop. "It is not safe for the dreams to overhear what I feel I must tell you."
"Why must you tell me?" Yuna asked quickly.
"Because you are the Highest Summoner," she replied. "And, as such, are the most respected of our ranks. Your presence here cannot be ignored. Surely, if you've come all this way, then you have motives in investigating this dream phenomenon?"
"So it's not usually here," Yuna said quietly and Belgemine shook her head. "Of course." Yuna bowed her head slightly. "We will hear what you have to say. Lead the way." Thus, despite how completely out of the blue their meeting was, the group was soon headed back the way Belgemine and her companion had come.
oOo
"It's not, by far, the best accommodations in the city," Belgemine was saying as they filed into the small room—an apartment that was being rented on the northern outskirts of town. "It suits our purposes, however."
Yuna wasn't the least bit offended by the plainness, or the chipping paint. Or even the somewhat worn furniture. She'd travelled in far less luxury, a fact that Belgemine likely knew and was why she wasn't apologizing profusely, as someone who didn't know any better might have. She, too, had embarked on a pilgrimage at one time, no matter how badly it may have ended.
"Please, sit down," Belgemine gestured to the chairs in the main part of the room, her words polite despite the forcefulness in her tone. She then turned to both Lenne and the other woman—her name was Meeren, as they'd learned—and issued that they go to the kitchen and get together whatever was available as far as food and drink. Yuna wanted to stop them, to be considerate of their obviously lackluster lifestyle, but then thought better of it. Her group had been living off of dried remains and fish since they'd arrived. Such limited provisions would wear them down if they didn't take advantage of higher-grade food when available.
It was ironic, being treated with such respect, yet able to acquire so little. This world, though wealthy on the outside, was just as empty as Spira had once been in some places.
"Please," Yuna addressed Belgemine directly as she finally came back over to them, Tidus refusing to sit as there was no seat near the one Yuna had taken and he didn't entirely trust what was going on. Her other guardians, too, were on alert (because, despite having formally given up the position, Tidus still acted as such when called for. And when he was capable). "Tell us all you know."
"Unfortunately, I'm afraid, it will be very little," Belgemine began as she took up a seat on a couch opposite Yuna. There was a small table between them. "But I'll start from the beginning."
Thus, all ears were on her.
"After Sin was defeated, the influx of souls into the farplane increased exponentially. Because of the rapidity of the pyreflies pouring in, it made it temporarily possible for the memories of the dead to reform. That's how the summoners here know who you are," she nodded to Yuna. "Your name, as well as the names of your guardians, were whispered to us on the waves of Sin's last thoughts. Rather, those of Yu Yevon. For a moment, we all rejoiced, for the struggles we had all fought through were finally justified in your actions.
"However, the grateful were not the only ones to reform in that moment. As there are both good and bad people in the world, so too is that the truth for the dead. Normally, though we were given momentary grace as the souls who'd created Sin moved on, we too would have faded, our memories splitting back into the pyreflies we'd once been. However, something happened when the dream began to come through."
"The Zanarkand Dream," Tidus murmured and Belgemine nodded.
"I'm not sure why, but, for some reason, it was unable to fade. The people and the buildings that had resided there wavered, but ultimately came back together. The fayth, panicking when the influx of souls allowed fiends to be born, threw up a shield to protect it. Zanarkand's existence, however, stoppered the flow of souls to… wherever it is the Farplane leads them," for not even she had faded enough to know that fate, "and those strong enough to find form were left to wander the Farplane without rest.
"Many of us searched for answers, trying to somehow unplug the flow that Zanarkand had halted, but during that time, someone… someone powerful took hold of the memories of those that had lived during the war and forced them to awaken, creating the imprisoned fayth that made this place. Which has slowed the flow even further. So now we walk here, attempting to find the source of the disturbance and the ones behind it. Yet all our endeavors to find answers have failed." She glanced down then, looking quite exhausted. But the dead were not meant to walk again, her inability to find peace a wrong none should have to go through.
"So you're unsent?" Rikku asked curiously.
"Not exactly." She shook her head. "The unsent form from a desire to be in Spira's reality, thus they are made up only of the feelings of regret or purpose the dead had harbored when still alive. Were I, for example, to reenter Spira, I would scatter into nothing because I have already accepted my fate. As we are now, here, in the Farplane, we are the closest to living the dead can ever be, for we are made up of not just ingrained desires, but all what we'd been in life as well, just without a physical body. If the dream would fade, we too would fade."
"You are, then, like the dreams, mere memories come to life," Auron replied.
"No." She shook her head. "Though I don't know the difference, we are not the same. The dreams cannot disperse and fly if they so desire; they can be harmed—they bleed." Which was something they'd all seen from Tidus. "We are similar and yet different, but I cannot tell you how or why."
That was the moment Meeren and Lenne finally reentered the room, platters of sandwiches, fruits, and fresh drinks in their arms as they bent down beside the table and set them down. The food, though not of the highest quality, was better than anything the party had eaten recently, and Yuna could practically feel her body salivating for it despite how she practiced control.
"You are dead, yet you eat?" Auron questioned. Because the only reason they'd have food was if they too needed it.
"Like I said, we may be memories, but we are not unsent," who didn't require sustenance. "Our lives when we lived had required food, and thus we do so now, or at least feel that we do. We would not 'die' without it, but the pain of hunger can be torturous."
A fact they could all understand. As soon as Lenne and Meeren had backed away, the group began to reach forth for their share, Yuna as well.
"I'd imagine you are in much greater need of it than us, however," Belgemine nodded, "if you are truly as alive as you claim." Which brought to mind a question Yuna hadn't considered before. If they were eating dream food, was it real? Yet it'd been able to sustain them thus far.
"You spoke of a… group you're a part of," Lulu started. "That Yuna is of high regard? What is that you speak of?"
"Ah, yes. The Convent of Summoners." She had grabbed all their attention once more, though they continued to eat. Lenne and Meeren stood to the side silently. "We are not all summoners, but we soon discovered that it was much more likely that those who are able to reform from memories are more likely to be summoners, thus our ranks are made up by a majority of such that have passed on. I can't say why, but it is theorized that because summoners spend so much of their lives calling on the spiritual, it is easier for us to locate ourselves in the Farplane. We no longer have the ability to call aeons, but the commonalities of our previous lives inspired the name. We now make a point of travelling among Dream Spira, looking for answers that might free the fayth imprisoned to dream and seek the ones behind it."
Which meant that it wasn't any kind of Dream Zanarkand that Lenne had come from, but the real thing, if she was part of these summoner's ranks.
"And I am known to and respected by all of you?" Yuna asked, her eyebrows coming together curiously. "The memories of the dead must stretch on for eternity. As far as the life of Spira, the thousand years that Sin existed must seem small to many of them. Why would they care for my identity?" Because she was humble enough, no matter what her guardians had accomplished, to realize that—in comparison to eternity—even a thousand years would be but a fraction.
"I cannot claim to understand the functions of the Farplane," Belgemine started, "but those of us who have come together existed only between the time when Sin was formed and the present. None who died before have been found."
"So every one of you knows of Sin," Auron determined.
"Yes." Belgemine nodded. "Which is why you will have great influence over what's happening here." She'd looked back to Yuna. "We all felt it when you defeated Sin. Living or dead, you hold the most power among us." Which wasn't something Yuna had anticipated she'd have to deal with.
"You sound as though you mean to somehow use Yuna's influence," Auron spotted, his voice becoming bristly.
Belgemine, however, stood her ground against the accusation, not intent on hiding her motives. "Corruption exists in memories as well as it does reality," she said quietly, Yuna easily able to understand what she was saying.
"There are disagreements among you about what should be done," Yuna replied coldly. "And you wish to sway me to your side." She was no fool to such things anymore, not after her pilgrimage. Tidus, who visibly tensed, took another step closer to her, his hand falling to her shoulder protectively.
"I do not wish to sway you, Lady," she bowed her head once. "I wish only that you know of the entire truth and are then able to pass judgment based on that. You know as well as I do that there were summoners who lied or refused to see the falsities spelled out before them. They are as much a danger now as they were to Spira."
She didn't have to say it out loud for them to understand. Yevon. That's whose power she spoke of. Not Yu Yevon, but the church.
"I see." Yuna nodded.
"I do not tell you this to put you in a difficult position, My Lady," she continued. "But the lines between what is right and what is wrong are just as blurred as they've always been. We search for the culprits who have caused this disaster, but for all we know, they could be directly under our noses."
"Give us a few names and we'll tell you who's bad eggs!" Rikku insisted.
"Even if some of the names of those in this Convent we did recognize, that isn't to say they're on the wrong side now if they've learned the truth," Auron lectured, "or that they're in a position of power." Their past experiences could serve them ill here, they had to keep that in mind. Or, rather, keep their minds open.
"We're looking for someone," Yuna started then, supposing it was as good a time as any to bring it up. "I think that," based on the bows she'd been wearing, "she was a summoner. We met her when we were departing from Dream Zanarkand. She seemed to think that we were dreams and dismissed us. If we gave you her description, is there a chance she's also a part of this convent?"
"There is a chance, yes. Without a name, however, it would be difficult to find her." Of course. "I will send out a search on your request, which should procure faster results."
"No," Auron objected. "If she realizes she's being searched for, and is somehow involved on the wrong side of this, an issue for her search by Yuna would likely only scare her off. We'll keep this to ourselves for now." And, as though taking an order from her superior, Belgemine nodded.
"The word of your coming will spread," she made perfectly clear. "Though we stay away from using the communications the dreams do, for fear of them realizing what they really are, your presence will reach the ears of the Prime Summoners. They will want to take an audience with you."
"I understand. I'll discuss it with my guardians." Which was her way of saying that, after all they'd learned, she still required a protective barrier around herself that none other than those who she trusted explicitly could breach. For though Belgemine had been a friend to her, she'd never been a guardian.
"Of course." And she didn't seem to take the discreet rejection as anything more than is was. "Meeren, Lenne, and I will leave you for a few hours—we have business to take care of in town. Though it's not much, the comforts here are yours to use. Please feel free." She stood, looking directly to Lenne and Meeren, who straightened immediately. Though it hadn't seemed as though Belgemine was somehow above them previously, after learning of her connection with Yuna, she'd garnered a whole new wave of respect.
All three of them bowing in a more elaborate, respectful fashion, they were soon leaving, the silence that followed their departure heavy with new knowledge and more questions.
"This just seems to get more and more …" Wakka sighed, the first one to speak as he slumped back against the couch.
"There is definitely more at work here than we'd initially anticipated," Auron agreed.
"So what do we do?" Rikku asked with a frown.
"I think we have to do as Belgemine said and use Yuna's influence to our advantage," Tidus interjected thoughtfully, his eyes apologetic as they met Yuna's, who was clearly surprised at his words. "Now that someone knows we're here, others will hear about it. What we need is more information. And the only way we're going to get that is by, one, discovering it for ourselves, or, two…"
"Using me to get it out of others," Yuna verified despite how the idea sat poorly in her stomach. Was it still considered manipulation if she was the one using herself?
Tidus, sympathetic to how the idea probably tasted in her mouth after what she'd been through, squeezed his hand on her shoulder, comforting her as best he could in the current situation.
"We may have to for the time being anyway." Lulu sighed. "Until we can figure out more." Because, for all they knew, maybe they didn't want anything to do with the Convent of Summoners. Until they had more information, however, they had to play dumb and go along with whoever would lead them to answers. Though there wasn't much difference between playing dumb and being legitimately ignorant, at least in this case.
"It's more of a lead than we had though," Rikku tried to be positive. "Maybe these summoners will be able to help us."
"Or they'll try to use us," Yuna warned.
"We won't know until we find out more," Auron offered. "For now, we'll just have to keep our ears open."
"What should we do, ya?" Wakka asked.
"Belgemine seems to think it's inevitable that we meet with these… higher ranking summoners," Lulu said. "I think we should meet them, at least to get a better idea of what we're dealing with." It didn't mean they had to trust them.
"I think so too," Yuna agreed slowly—thoughtfully.
"Belgemine can probably tell us the best way to get in touch with them," Tidus decided, finally lifting his hand from Yuna's shoulder as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If Yuna is as well-known as she's led us to believe, it shouldn't be that difficult."
"I wonder why none of the dead before Sin have reformed," Lulu murmured.
"This was all set off by Sin, wasn't it?" Rikku asked. "Maybe that has something to do with it." But none of them could really know. Odd, however, that everything still seemed to come back to Sin. Though the monster seemed more of an accessory at this point than the actual cause.
They continued to debate all they'd learned for some time after that, but were able to comprehend no more answers by the time they all finally fell silent. Thoughts left alone to stew, answers still eluded them; though more questions did form for some. Expression curious, Rikku found her attention drawn to Auron.
"What about you?" she said suddenly, quite obviously addressing him as they all looked her way. "Are you a dream then, or a memory?"
"I bleed," he replied simply, "so I can't be a memory." Because Belgemine had insinuated that, like the unsent, memories couldn't be harmed in the same physical way as dreams or the living. "Besides, the fayth told Braska and I explicitly that they'd dreamt us into Zanarkand along with Jecht for the purpose of aiding in its defenses." Thus, they hadn't come back into existence by accident, as these dead memories apparently had. They'd been given a purpose.
"It's strange how all of this is folding out," Yuna started quietly. "I… had never imagined that something so out of control of the fayth could happen." Because it was becoming clearer and clearer that those who'd given the power on Spira were but a small piece in what was continually becoming a much larger puzzle. When they'd been going after Sin, they'd sought out the fayth for answers. They had no such resources anymore however. Their ignorance was not bred by others, but born.
"We'll figure it out," Tidus decided confidently. "One way or anther. We just don't know enough yet." His tone reminded Rikku of the time they'd spent together trying to figure out a way to save Yuna. Despite how the odds had been stacked against them, he'd insisted that there had to be a way. Hearing that same confidence then, especially after how he'd proven himself already at being correct, created in Rikku both a faith in him and a confidence in all of them that if they simply willed it, they'd reach their answers.
"He's right," Rikku agreed. "We have to stay positive! We didn't give in during the pilgrimage and we can find that strength to push forward again! We just have to believe." Because where there was a will, there was a way.
Auron "hmfed" in response, Rikku glaring at him. "Though your idealism is foolish," he started, "the positivity, I suppose, isn't entirely unappreciated."
Rikku decided she could settle for that.
The question that crossed Yuna's mind, however, wasn't nearly so easily set upon. What, exactly, were they aiming to do? Everyone seemed to be a-okay with the notion that the dream had to, somehow, fade. But everything inside her screamed that doing so was wrong. Perhaps it was selfish, but she didn't want to let Tidus go all over again. He'd promised her that they'd continue to look for another way, that maybe they could still stay together, but how much of what he'd said had he really meant?
Is this how he'd felt when, despite how he'd promised he'd find a way to save her, they'd continued to march to Zanarkand anyway? She'd placed her faith in him, but never honestly believed that she'd survive the battle with Sin. Was that where Tidus was? Agreeing with her that they'd try to find a different solution, but ultimately having already accepted that, in the end, he'd fade?
Were they marching him, and Auron for that matter, to their deaths?
Willing or not, it didn't sit well with her and she felt abruptly guilty for having put her friends through the turmoil of the pilgrimage. It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing that the "right" thing meant losing people she loved. The man she loved, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
Was this the same agony Tidus had felt the closer they'd gotten to Zanarkand?
The others had continued chatting, more cheerful after Rikku's declaration, but Yuna was feeling much the opposite. Reaching up, she took Tidus' hand, which was now hanging at his side, and squeezed despite how she refused to look up at him. She didn't see the way he glanced down at her in surprise, or the sympathetically understanding look he'd then cast her way.
The same look, he knew, that she'd given him so many times before.
Replying in kind, he squeezed her hand back, unable to ignore the feeling of a fast approaching end no matter how little they moved forward.
oOo
It had been decided, by the following morning, where exactly they were to go.
"The Prime Summoners do not always travel together," Belgemine had explained. "However, I do believe that there are a few of them in Remiem at the moment." Initially, she, Meeren, and Lenne had been going to head to Remiem together to meet up and receive their new directions (because summoners didn't get "orders"). However, the new developments would have to alter their course, or so had been reasoned.
"Lenne is a guide," Belgemine had continued, "and had been coming back this way to take Meeren and myself to Remiem. However, I think it would be best if she guided your party to Remiem, and Meeren and I returned to Baaj. I know some of the Prime Summoners had been there as well, and word should be taken to them equally." Thus it had been determined that they would separate after departing. With little at their disposal in the way of wealth, they'd had no reason to stay. Besides that, Belgemine had seemed in rather a hurry, so they were on their way out of the city by the afternoon following the day they'd arrived. Mostly because the walk through Bevelle—on the less used roads below the elevated traffic—had taken them a majority of the morning and early afternoon.
Before the group was to separate, they had to make it through the White Sands of Azriad, a place that none but the memories seemed to be familiar with.
"It's what Macalania Forest was before the fayth was there," Meeren had finally found the gall to speak after being so thoroughly reprimanded by Belgemine the day before. "The snow and ice you'd expect to see there is a desert without the influence of the fayth." A fact that didn't take them as much by surprise as it might have a year prior, at least those who'd come from Spira. Already they'd seen the decay of the forest since Sin's defeat. Slowly but surely, the snow was melting, the crystals fading. It'd been a particularly hard sight for Yuna to bear as one of her most treasured memories was among the crystal trees.
It was for the better of everyone involved, however, that the fayth were gone.
"It will take us about a day and half to cross the sands, if we keep up a good pace," Lenne had taken over. "After that, we'll head east." She was addressing the high summoner's party. "Along the edges of the Thunder Plains and into the Lo Moutains."
Rikku had whined at the mentioning of the Thunder Plains.
With only that minor objection, they hiked on, Yuna mostly silent as the mood from the day before continued to plague her. Instead, she focused her sights on the scenes around them, Tidus' figure always managing to somehow creep into her focus.
The first things she'd taken note of, as they'd reached the southern outskirts of the city, was the air traffic. Or lack of it. The cars were trapped to the inner parts of the city, it would seem, because soon all they were seeing were large airships overhead. Lenne mentioned that they were passenger and cargo ships, and that they were the transportation between city-states. It would appear, aside from the farms they'd encountered to the northwest, that few travelled outside the cities. Perhaps there was no reason to.
For this reason, they were mostly alone as they headed out to the desert, which was vastly different from Spira. Without the use of airships, the only way to travel had been to walk, so the roads had always been crowded. Things were quite opposite in the Dream—almost as though the thought of walking anywhere was completely preposterous.
Beyond the city, up the grade and slight cliff surrounding it to the south, they soon began to encounter the beginnings of the desert. At first it'd been a general thinning of grass, the rarely treaded road before them made up of sandy soil. By the time evening was beginning to set in, the entire structure of the landscape was changing. The brown sand was soon the most predominant feature, which Yuna found to be strange considering she'd thought the name had implied white sand.
As the hours crept on however, patches of white began to streak into the dirt, equally chalky boulders protruding out into the open air. The grass was gone entirely, the sun casting a foggy orange glow against the horizon as it set to the west. The sky took on a hazy, bluish-purple as the light was slowly sucked from the world, Yuna able to see the outcroppings of many such boulder collections standing out before them. Behind, the silhouette of the city stood tall and bright, igniting the heavens against night's judgment.
"We should probably make camp here," Belgemine decided as they came upon a rather chunky section of boulders and rocks. "If we get an early start, we should be able to reach the lake sometime before noon."
"Lake Macalania?" Lulu asked.
"Yes." She nodded in affirmation. Silently, because camping out wasn't nearly as much fun with people one didn't know very well, they started to set their tents beneath the shadows of the boulders, Yuna fully aware of the way Tidus had been looking at her all day. The concern to his brow was extremely predominant by that point, which didn't make her feel any better about the situation. Leaving it to the others to get the rest of camp ready (because none of her friends would bother her and none of the guests would question the high summoner taking a break), she entered her, Lulu, and Rikku's tent, feigning laying out her bedroll. As she'd expected, Tidus followed her in soon after.
He didn't address her right away. Watching him out of the corners of her eyes, she saw him tap some kind of machina control panel into action, the holographic tent responding to his skilled controls. After fingering a few buttons, he then dismissed the panel as quickly as he'd called it, the screen vanishing once more.
"What did you just do?" Yuna asked as she sat down on her ankles, straightening her back as she finished with her bedroll.
"I sound proofed the tent," he verified as he approached her. Plopping down on the bedroll in front of her, he crossed his legs as he stared determinedly at her, his eyes spelling out the questions he didn't actually have to ask.
And Yuna, unable to face his gaze, sighed and looked away.
"Tell me, Yuna," he ordered softly.
"What are we doing?" she asked, unable to hide the pain in her voice. "I feel like we don't have any control over what's happening. Like we're… marching ahead to somewhere I don't… I don't want to end up."
"I know." He nodded as he scooted a little closer to her, both his hands—real and machina alike—reaching out to take hers. "But we can't learn anything if we don't move forward. Once we have more facts, then we can figure out what to do. Until then, we just have to… keep going."
"Maybe I don't want to keep going," she said immaturely as she slipped her hands from his. Pulling her knees up to her chin, she faced away from him, her fingers twining together over her shins. Tidus, however, still gave her a rather adult look, as if her words weren't meant to be taken seriously.
"You're starting to remind me of, well, me," he stated with a slight laugh, remembering quite well how belligerent he'd been in Zanarkand.
"Maybe you remind me too much of me," she replied quietly, Tidus understanding perfectly what she was referring to.
"I haven't given up, Yuna," he murmured. "We just don't know enough."
"You keep saying that."
"It's the truth."
Silence.
"C'mon." He tried to be positive. "We decided that, no matter what happens, we'd take advantage of the time we do have together, right?" He smiled weakly. "I don't want to spend this whole trip… fighting with you."
"We're not fighting…"
"We're getting to it."
Another pause. Until Yuna, finally looking up at him again, couldn't resist any longer. Body falling apart, she reached out and wrapped her arms around his middle, her face pressed against his chest as she closed her eyes and tried to push away her fears. He was right, after all, no matter their outcome. Like Lulu had said, she had to seize the short day she had. If she didn't make the best of it, she'd regret it for the rest of her life.
"Yuna," Tidus said her name softly as his arms collapsed gently against her back. "Can you… tell me something?" She found it oddly comforting when his machina arm began to rub up and down her back, her face nodding against his chest. "When you pulled me back from Leviathan last time… What happened?"
She'd been wondering when this was going to come up.
"I don't really know," she murmured as he reached down and pulled her legs forward until she was sitting in his lap.
"I just don't quite understand what I remember," he began to explain. "I've been thinking about it the last few days, but it just doesn't make sense. I know I was with you, but it's different than I know how to explain. Like you were… my entire world… for a little while…"
"It's because when… when I was trying to pull you back," she leaned off his chest, looking up at him, "I accidentally pulled your soul out of your body." His eyes widened then, his attentive expression trained down on her. "I don't know how it was possible, or why, but when I woke up, I found out that I was the one holding your soul. My body, that was. I had to… return it to yours."
"And you could do that?" he asked skeptically.
"I… I guess so." She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I managed to find your soul… inside myself and put it back in your body." It sounded so completely ridiculous when she said it out loud. "I think, anyway…"
"So that's what I'm remembering," he whispered, more to himself than to her.
"Auron seemed to think it had something to do with me being a summoner," she continued. "Like when the fayth's souls were removed from their living bodies and put into stones. Or like when Yunalesca created a final aeon." Something they still had to ask him about.
"Well, I guess I'm glad you could put it back." He smiled shortly, still quite unsure how to react to being told such a thing. "Don't get me wrong, being… inside of you was comfortable and everything, but not exactly the kind of 'being inside of you' I was thinking of."
"That's inappropriate," she scolded lightly, looking up at him from beneath her brow. He laughed fully, finding her expression amusing, before leaning down and placing his forehead against hers, his arms tightening their hold around her.
"The truth isn't inappropriate," he muttered to her, Yuna unable to suppress the grin trying to fight its way onto her face. Upon seeing as much, he smiled as well, their lips soon meeting as Yuna brought her arms up to wrap around his neck. It was wonderful, really, being able to be so close to him. She'd never considered such a thing during the pilgrimage, but it came so naturally to her then.
She'd never been more comfortable with anyone.
"Dinner will be ready soon," she whispered as she pulled away from him slightly.
"I'm not really all that hungry," he replied breathily before situating his arms more appropriately to lay her back against the bedroll. She didn't fight him, instead pulling him down with her until their lips were meeting once again, eyes closed as his hands ran down her sides, the marks his fingers left burning through her clothes to her skin.
Taking in a deep, hastened breath, her whole torso seemed to rise against him as his legs were pulled to either side of her. Hands falling up to his hair, she allowed her fingers to sift through the locks until they found the bandana held in place there. Easily slipping it away, she set it aside before allowing her hands to once again slip into the messy blonde locks. He sighed against her lips, seeming to appreciate the action as their eyes fluttered back open.
"I'm not that hungry either." Yuna's voice was barely audible, her breathing already heavy as she felt his breath against her lips. Pulling him against her once more, the world around them seemed to drown away, the worries she knew would plague her later managing to fade—if only for a little while.
They didn't hear Lulu call to them, relaying that dinner was ready. And when no further effort was put into getting their attention when they failed to respond, they didn't notice. Rather, the mood outside the tent was quite lethargic. Dinner was eaten in silence. Rikku, who was bored with the whole thing, eventually took her meal from the center of camp and plopped herself down next to Lenne, who'd retreated to a high rock to look out over the horizon.
"What does Belgemine mean about you being a 'guide?'" she asked, completely insensitive to the silent, brooding thoughts of others.
"She means that I'm a summoner from this time period," she replied easily, her eyes coming back into focus as she looked over at the blonde. "For some reason, that makes me more knowledgeable about what's going on and where things are." Which wasn't exactly true seeing as she'd spent most of her life, prior to dying, in Zanarkand. "It's my job to make sure others from different times get to where they need to go."
"Oh." Rikku shrugged simply. "How did you die, if you don't mind me asking?" The blonde appeared abruptly sheepish.
"It's alright." Lenne managed a weak grin. "I don't mind talking about it." She sighed. "I was one of the summoners that Yu Yevon sent to the front lines during the war. And one of them that was sacrificed to create Sin. Once I was dead, the pyreflies that made up my soul were used to create his armor."
"Oh…"
"I don't remember it," she assured casually. "I didn't even reach the Farplane until Sin was finally destroyed by all of you. My soul was recycled with each reincarnation of Sin. But, though the pyreflies held my memories from when I was alive, it didn't exactly affect me to be used for Sin. Not… separated as I was."
"It's weird to me, to realize that the souls of the dead really do exist in the Farplane," Rikku began thoughtfully. "I was always taught that what was here were only memories. Nothing real."
"Well, you're not exactly wrong." Lenne shrugged. "But if it's not our memories that make up our souls—who we were and what we did—then what would?"
"I guess I never thought of it that way."
Pause.
"Let me ask you something now," Lenne began after a moment, Rikku glancing over at her with raised, expectant eyebrows. "Why…" she bit her bottom lip as she considered how to ask. "Why is that… that Sir Tidus and Lady Yuna always seem so… so sad?" She shyly met Rikku's eyes again, unsure if it was okay to ask such a question.
What she got was a sigh, though it wasn't offended. Merely, it sounded of sadness as well, Lenne becoming even more curious.
"Not to say that they don't seem happy together," she rectified. "But…"
"No, I know what you mean." Rikku nodded. "You think that… that Tidus is like us, don't you? That he came from Spira?"
"Didn't he?" Lenne asked, abruptly surprised.
"Mmm, no." Rikku shook her head. "He… he's a dream. From Zanarkand." Blinking, Lenne was silent as she allowed this news to sink in, unsure what to make of it. "He was brought to Spira by the fayth, and Sin, to… help us… or something," Rikku waved off the subject. "He was one of Yunie's guardians on the pilgrimage. But after we defeated Sin, he… he disappeared." She sighed again. "And then we found him again when we came here."
"I see…" Lenne replied quietly, her thoughts racing with this news. Not that Rikku could know as much.
"Yeah, and if we manage to fix this, then he's going to… fade away again. Which is why they seem kind of sad, I think." She thought of Auron too.
"And they fell for one another? During the pilgrimage?"
"Ohhh yeah." Rikku nodded. "I've heard Wakka and Lulu talking about it before. I guess it was kind of like love at first sight or something. Like there was an instant connection between them as soon as they met." She snapped her fingers. "Yunie even asked him to be her guardian before he'd been around a week, or so Wakka says. I wasn't there then, though I did meet Tidus before Yunie. Saved him from some ruins. Guess Sin dropped him off in the wrong place the first time." She clicked her tongue critically. "But if it hadn't been for him, Yunie might have died like all the other high summoners. He refused to accept it, which I think gave Yunie the courage to imagine another way. He's considered the best guardian that ever lived in Spira, actually. Just above Auron."
"Amazing…" Lenne murmured.
"Yeah, he's a pretty awesome guy." She tried not to sound too sad herself, pushing the idea of Tidus (and Auron) fading away to the back of her mind. "It's super romantic though. I hope I can fall in love with someone like that someday." Had to remain positive. "What about you?" A mischievous glint entered her swirling eyes. "Were you ever in love?"
Lenne smiled softly. "Yes, I was. Once."
"Oh yeah?" Rikku wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Lenne laughed. "I met him when I was sixteen," she started, taking a deep breath. "The government, at the time, required that all citizens go through military training at that age because of the threat from Bevelle. We all thought it was nothing, and most of my summoner training was spent distracted with writing songs and singing."
"You can sing?" Rikku questioned.
"I used to." she nodded. "I was even famous for a little while, after I completed my summoner training. Anyway, I met him in the military. He was an amateur blitzball player that was doing his mandatory service and hoping to get signed to the pros. I think I distracted him a bit too much though. He ended up playing piano for me while I wrote songs most of the time, and didn't keep up on his own practice.
"He didn't get signed after he left," she cringed slightly, "but he didn't seem to mind. He co-wrote a lot of my pieces once I started to get famous, and was always my piano player at all my concerts."
Rikku could tell, however, that the story was going to take a sour turn.
"Then the war started," she sighed, "and we were both drafted back into the military. Initially, we were to go together, but he… he didn't agree with the politics of the whole thing and refused to go, even when they threw him in prison. I think he thought that… that if he couldn't go with me, they'd have no reason to send me to the front lines. Because he was my summoning partner."
A notion that none of the others had yet to understand.
"It didn't work out that way, though. I was signed on as a white mage instead, still in the front lines. He… he lost it a little, I think, and somehow broke out of prison. He did… a lot of bad things. I tried to stop him. I snuck into Bevelle once to follow him. But even after we were caught and had to run back to Zanarkand with Bevelle on our tails, I refused to give in to him and run away.
"I was under some grandeur idea that I was serving my city by going, doing my duty," she rubbed her right temple. "I told him I'd stay with him and then snuck out the night I knew the troops were to move. And he… he tried to come after me. But it was too late. Shortly after, Yu Yevon sacrificed us all and I… I never saw him again. I felt it though, even after I'd passed. That's the connection a summoner and their partner has. I… I knew he'd been killed the moment it happened, even if I wasn't consciously aware of it.
"I know it was my fault."
"He… he didn't come back, like you did?" As a memory, Rikku was thinking.
"No." She shook her head. "Or, at least, I haven't found him if he did. I'm not a summoner anymore," she stared down at her hands, "so I can't sense him like I used to."
"I don't get it." Rikku tried to move on from the sad story—to change the subject slightly. "What do you mean by summoning partner? Yunie never had a partner."
"Summoning was different back then." Lenne was glad to move on. "We didn't have static fayth imprisoned in stones like the summoners you know of did. It required the souls of two people—one to summon and one to become the aeon."
"Really?!" Rikku asked, aghast. She almost spilled the beans about Tidus being able to turn into an aeon, but bit her tongue at just the right moment. That was supposed to be a secret, after all, or so they'd all figured. "It… it sounds like the final summoning," she moved on.
"I don't know anything about that." Lenne shook her head. "But that was how we were taught. We had completed our training when we were able to successfully call our partner into an aeon and back again. That's why he thought he could stop me going if he stayed behind. Because without him, I didn't have my power as a summoner. I should have listened to him and run away. At least then we might have… been together a little longer."
"That's so sad." Rikku frowned.
"Perhaps," Lenne took a deep breath, "but it was a long time ago. There's no point in… worrying about it now. My regrets will change nothing." What was done was done. Better to focus on other things.
"Weren't you afraid?" Rikku asked. "Going to battle against Bevelle?"
"I was too foolish to know fear," she replied bitterly. "The government had pumped us full of pride, told us that it was gallant to fight and that we'd be heroes if we did. That, and my fame propelled me to be a good example. Even if we were destined to lose, I thought my sacrifice would mean something.
"In the end, I was used to create a weapon with more destructive power than the war."
"Sin…" Rikku said darkly.
"You all ended it though." She tried to be optimistic. "And we'll get through this trial as well. Somehow."
"Exactly!" Rikku agreed whole-heartedly. "Somehow…"
Somehow…