Matt here: I'm gonna be honest with you. This chapter isn't that funny, but it's sadly needed in order to explain why Pat and Brogan are the new digidestion ... oh shit... that hasn't happened yet... uh... forget I said anything. I like pie! Meeps! P.S. If you don't review, I shall rape your fist born daughter on the eve of her twelfth birthday, so you better review.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and my happy dance.
Time-18:00- Location: The Order Headquarters- Universe: Classified
The room was very dark, the only light to be seen either came from the door behind them or the cigarette of the man across the desk from them, which failed at illuminating his face. Pat and Brogan had been called into the office during lunch.
"Welcome Agent Brogan, Codename:Sugar Kitten, Knight Class, and Agent... uh..." started the man, before he had to pick up a cue card "... Pat, Codename:The Shadow General, Rook Class. We have a mission for you. It appears that idiot took a vacation a month ago, and didn't return. We know he's in the Digimon universe, so we'll be sending you there with Agent Cobaka, Codename:Lighting Fang, Knight Class. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir" said Pat and Brogan in unison, trying to avoid coughing from the smoke filling the tiny room.
"Then get the fuck out of my office." yelled the man.
Pat and Brogan scurried out leaving the man alone. He proceeded to take a long drag off of his cigarette.
"... I don't get it, why is he so important that you need to send two knights after him?" said the man, seemingly to no one.
"He would be a valuable asset to our cause. We can bend him to our will and use him as a tool." said a disembodied voice.
"And if he doesn't bend?" asked the man.
"If we created him, then we can destroy him." replied the voice.
Meanwhile, in the Agumon village...
Matt, Darkmon, and Slade playing cards as a team of IllegalImmigrantmon were almost done building a giant black tower outside the window.
"Anyone else ticked off that this is our only appearance this chapter?" said Matt, laying down a 2 of Hearts and clearing the pile, to which he place a 5 in place of.
"Eh kind of, but it's important to the plot, or some shit like that." said Darkmon, placing down an 8.
"President!" yelled Slade as he placed down his final card.
"How the fuck?" question Matt, not caring that the conversation would not be finished before the point of view switched.
Meanwhile, at the Portal Room...
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
Meanwhile, at the room with a portal in it...
"Agent Pat and Agent Brogan, reporting for duty, sir!" said Pat, saluting Agent Cobaka.
"At ease, we got some stuff to take care of first." replied Cobaka, taking two small boxes out of his coat. "Inside of these boxes are digivices, we'll need them in order to use the environment to our advantage."
Pat and Brogan opened up their boxes, causing Brogan to let a giggle slip out, and Pat to laugh his fat fucking ass off.
"What? What's so funny?" asked Cobaka, snatching away Pat's box and looking inside to see a picture of him covering his ass in peanut butter with a pack of male dogs behind him. "Oh... shit... I kept the digivices in my pants' pockets..."
Cobaka then gave the two laughing agents their digivices, while taking back those pictures and burning them.
"Now, we just have to go into the Digital World and get our digimon!" said Cobaka, turning to face the portal.
"Will me get candy?" asked Pat.
"Maybe... if you're good." replied Cobaka as he hopped trough the portal.
"You know... we could just stay behind... and... you know... right here and now." perved Pat.
"Hmm..." answered Brogan, thinking. "... ok... how about I forget you said that, and I don't rip your nuts off and shove them so far up your ass that the next time you vomit you'll vomit all over you nuts."
Pat just starred silently at her for a while until he asked "So is that a yes, or ... OH DEAR GOD MY NUTS! THIS TECHNICALLY COUNTS AS A HANDJOB NOW!"
Brogan the grabbed Pat by the nuts, picked him up with her pinata strength, and tossed him through the portal, then jumped through herself.
---END OF CHAPTER---