Everlasting love
MarshAngel
watsonma@hotmail.com

Serena sat in her room wondering just what would be done. Her eyes were bright red from crying. Her embarrassment
had become quite public when those awful old ladies had spread horrible gossip about her 'loose' behavior in the garden
with the Duke of Westwood. Her uncle had been positively livid, especially when he'd seen the state of her gown. Darien
had conveniently disappeared.
Her uncle hadn't said one word to her since they had arrived home last night. She hadn't left her room since then. She did
not want to face him. One of the maids had came up to tell her that her brother had stopped by but she would not go
downstairs. She was an embarrassment to her entire family and it was all Lord Wyndham's fault. At least that's what she
had been trying to convince herself of all morning. Unfortunately it wasn't working in the least.
She had enjoyed the way he'd touched her, his kisses, everything about him. She didn't feel the least bit guilty about what
she had supposedly done, as much as she regretted the embarrassment it had caused her family. All her life she'd been an
embarrassment. Why must she always be so different?
She heard a gentle knock on the door and uttered a week response to come inside to whoever it was. Melissa the young
maid came in and told her nervously that her uncle was awaiting her in his study, if she could please join him there for a
discussion. Serena nodded politely and dismissed the young girl.
***************************************************************

Serena took each slowly, trailing her hand along the mahogany banister. She dreaded every step that brought her closer to
the entrance of her uncle's study. She feared he would toss her out on the street, but more than that she was afraid because
she had no idea just what he would do to her. Thinking about it made her hand shake from nervousness.
She walked up to the imposing dark door that would reveal her future and raised a shaky arm. She rapped gently on the
door and composed herself as best she could.
"Come in Serena," her uncle's voice called.
Serena opened the door and walked into the room. Her uncle stood facing the windows with his back turned to her.
"Sit down Serena." She obeyed him and sat nervously into the chair, smoothing the creases of her skirt but finding her palms
sweaty, she stopped.
"I'm very disappointed in you. I had hoped you knew better than that. You embarrassed yourself and this family."
Serena chose this moment to put in a word for herself. "But I didn't do anything."
"Serena," her uncle sighed her name and turned to face her, "Serena, you were seen by those two gossiping hags kissing
the Duke of Westwood while soaking wet. It doesn't matter if in your eyes it was innocent, by the time those hags are
done with your name, they'll have you as his mistress."
Serena was shocked by her Uncle's speech. He seemed so nonchalant about the idea. In fact he seemed to care more
about her reputation than anything she might have done with Darien. He was right of course. The two widows Lady Stimson
and Lady Rhodham were horrible gossips. But she couldn't hide her surprise at her Uncle's reaction.
"Serena, since you've come to live here you've become in many ways like a daughter to me. I know I haven't exactly
treated you like a daughter, but I guess I was afraid to get close to you, I was afraid I might lose you too. You see I once
had a daughter."
His face was empty but his eyes seemed pained. He turned his back to her once more so she wouldn't see his face as he
spoke.
"Not long before you were born I was married to a beautiful woman, her name was Melissa. We were very happy. We had
a daughter, Helen; she was such a beautiful little girl. When she was only four, she and her mother were returning from a shopping
trip in Paris where they also visited Melissa's aunt. There was a horrible storm in the channel, and their ship was destroyed.
You remind me so much of Helen. So bright-eyed. You're so alive; especially when you don't think I can see you practicing
with that sword.
Serena was so surprised at all this. Her uncle did have a heart after all. She felt guilty for all those times she had thought badly
of him.
"Serena, this is not what I had wanted for you. I had hoped you would have been able to make the choice as to whom you would
marry on your own. Your season is now over however, because of this incident, and you'll have to return in the fall as a married woman."
"'What?" Serena was completely shocked by this news. Surely there was another way to do this than to give her away to the first
man who offered.
"But, Uncle you can't do this to me. Who am I to marry? No one has offered as yet.
"Serena, don't be naïve. You must marry the one who disgraced you and he knows it just as well as you do. I'm sorry
it has come to this but it must be done. I won't have your reputation ruined. It's what is best for you."
**********************
Serena had sat in the chair in shock as her uncle strode out of the room determined not to hear any arguments from her.
She couldn't believe it. Her uncle was actually forcing her to marry.
More shocking he would force her to marry Darien Wyndham, a man she was now completely in love with but whom she
knew had no love for her. It was true he seemed to want her, but that meant nothing. He lusted after her but he didn't love
her, not in the same manner she loved him.
She didn't know if she could survive a marriage with a man who might never return her love. Her parents had found love, her
brother had too, and even her uncle had had it at one time, she shouldn't have to marry without it. Outside of her family anyone
else would have thought her naïve and idealistic. Most marriages weren't based on love but rather money and status.
Serena had hoped all her life she would never be trapped in a loveless marriage. She knew many men kept their mistresses
after their marriage but she didn't know if she could put up with sharing the man she loved with another woman.
*********

Serena's eyes were dry the next morning but her mod was dark. The bright sunlight and chirping birds, unusual for London
mocked her very mood. She had cried herself to sleep the previous night and she was now lacking in tears or emotional
expression.
She didn't blame her uncle for this situation. Her mind had moved on to other matters. She now wondered if she would be
as upset if in three days she would be marrying a stranger. Had she been in the position to marry a man she didn't love she
would have been in far less despair. At least in such a situation the emotional lines would be very clear between them.
Instead, she was marrying a man she loved but who did not love her, a man who was just absolutely infuriating because of
her inability to guess what he would do next. He would probably detest her for forcing him into a situation where her had
marry a woman he hadn't chosen himself simply to save her honor.
She was almost hoping he'd refuse. She knew better than that however. Whatever she had to say about him, he was after all a
gentleman. He wouldn't leave her in disgrace. He'd marry her, but he wouldn't love her, no matter how much love she felt for
him.