Chapter 10
The next morning the alarm is installed, and there is no sight of Ben. I figure with his excellent detective skills, he knows better than to show-up. Mitch spends the afternoon in his office working hard on the McCarthy brief. I only see him when he comes out to eat. My anxiousness over officer training school keeps me distracted from the thought that Mitch and I have spent no time together.
The afternoon soon melts into evening. I do one last check of my bags before Mitch helps me stuff them into the trunk of his car.
"I'm going to really miss you Mia," he says after he slams the trunk shut and turns to face me.
I look upon him with doleful eyes, wishing I could explain to him why I had rejected him the other night.
"Me too," I murmur as I race to him and fling my arms around his waist. Burying my nose into his chest, I inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of his skin. I want to keep it in my memory in case…the thought is too much and I begin to sob.
"Mia, are you ok?" he asks as he squeezes me harder into his chest.
"Yeah, I think so," I sniffle. "It's just so hard for me to be running away like I am, but it's for the best."
"I think you're right," he says with conviction. "You need some time alone to overcome the trauma."
I close my eyes tight and catch my breath, hoping he does not realize that something more has happened, something terrible of which I cannot speak. As I warm in his comforting hold, I scold myself for not telling him about the rape, but I know if I do he'd want me to go to the police, and I just can't do that. I want to ask him, beg him to stay with me tonight, but I don't. Instead, we end the evening with an innocent kiss, and I go to bed alone.
I lie awake that night, worried about the days ahead of me. Will I be able to handle officer boot camp? Will I meet nice people? Will I be able to resist charming men who are bastards in disguise?
Before long the morning sun filters through the curtains, casting dull rays of light across the walls. I rise, hoping to get to the kitchen before Mitch, but the smell of fresh brewed coffee tells me my plan has been foiled.
"I was hoping to make you coffee for a change," I say with a yawn.
"Sorry," he says softly, "I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Me either," I confess.
"Oh? Worried about the long trip to Japan?"
"Well that, and officer training school. I hope I can handle it."
"Yeah, well you'll have to learn a lot of rules about how to behave as an officer. Plus there will be a lot of in your face screaming." His eyes sweep over me as if he doesn't want to reveal his thought that I cannot handle it.
"Well, I'm used to the in your face part anyway," I say drearily.
A look of amusement spreads across his face, making me laugh. "Here have some coffee," he says as he slides a mug across the counter.
I grab it up with the skill of a bar room patron, and take tiny sips of the steaming liquid. 'Urban cowboy' I think to myself with a smile. "What's for breakfast," I ask, already very used to having all of that decided for me.
"I figure real pancakes today." He takes out a frying pan and twirls it in the air like a well practiced juggler.
I admire his muscular arms, just bulky enough to be sexy, as they flex under the strain of the movement.
"Wow, you're in a good mood for someone who claims to have had little sleep," I say, feeling relieved that he is not the least bit suspicious over Ben's visit and rape. And then it occurs to me that what Ben did is not okay. He raped me, it doesn't matter that we had consensual sex before, what he did is wrong. Still I do not feel traumatized and I wonder if it's just my low self-esteem, or maybe the reality of it has not sunk in, or maybe I really don't care.
I meet Mitch's dreamy gaze, and he says, "Well, I figure I'm one step closer to helping you."
"Oh? How so, besides housing me, feeding me, and delivering me to the base?" I take a long sip of coffee, staring intently upon him over the brim of my cup. My stomach flutters and I feel a gush of joy, as from some secret spring, bubbling up in my heart.
"Well, Mia, I think you're young and inexperienced. You've been sheltered and this will be a good growth experience." He becomes thoughtful, takes a seat next to me, and continues with a serious tone. "It'll be hard at first, but I think it's necessary."
My brain is jolted as if by electric shock, and then a prickling feeling runs over my scalp. Did he really say that? He sounds like Ben. "Wow, you really see me as a helpless idiot!" I sputter in disbelief.
"No, no, not at all," he says, turning to me and grabbing my hands. "Mia, I'm sorry, I'm just used to speaking my mind. I didn't mean to offend you."
"I guess you're right," I finally manage to release, "but I don't like the way you talk down to me, like I'm a child."
"I'm sorry," he says and the hurt in his face makes it genuine.
My eyes drift away from his pitiful stare, and I crack a smile and say, "I'm sorry-" I shake my head from side to side, "I guess I'm a little sensitive and…well, to be honest…I'm a little afraid to be stepping out alone. Traveling to a foreign country to live for a while should be exciting, but I'm a little freaked out."
He rubs his hand over my head as if petting a cat. "I want you to Skype me every day and tell me all about your adventures."
I laugh and say, "I'm sure my day will mostly be sitting at a desk, bored out of my mind."
After eating and helping tidy-up the kitchen, I make a last minute check that I have everything, and then we set out for Alabama.
For the first part of the trip I sleep, only being wakened by Mitch to offer me coffee, or a restroom break. Eventually I stretch and sit upright, and watch as the sun begins to set and the sky turn a cloudless gray.
"You okay?" asks Mitch.
"Sure," I say, although I feel just as groggy as I had earlier.
"You tossed a lot, and mumbled."
"Just a little anxious," I say, and give a dismissive wave of the hand.
His eyes linger on me for as long as they can before returning to the road. "So Mia, how many brothers and sisters do you have?"
Eager to learn all there is to know about Mitch, I am renewed with energy. "I have one sister, what about you?"
"I'm an only child."
"Wow, you're so lucky!"
He bursts with laughter. "I guess you don't care for your sister much?"
"No, she's always been very mean to me. She has me by four years, and always let me know that she didn't appreciate me taking some of the attention from her."
Thinking about Lindsay makes bad memories bubble to the surface. I blame her for falling into Ben's sick, distorted world, even though deep inside, I know that I'm the one at fault.
Mitch breaks the bad memories when he asks, "What about your parents?"
"My father passed away when I was a baby. My mother remarried, but he left before I was even two, so I really didn't know him."
I shrug my shoulders in indifference.
"Wow that must be tough." He reaches over and rubs my arm.
"I don't know. I wasn't used to having a father, but it would've been nice to have a man in my life while growing up."
"I agree," he says with a conciliatory sigh. "I guess we've something in common…no fathers in our lives."
He turns to me with a somber look, but my excitement over our commonality quells as bad thoughts of my childhood flash through my head. I want to share my abuse and disappointments, but wrestle myself out of doing so. You'll sound pathetic Mia! Don't give him too much information. You made that mistake with Ben.
"Where did you grow-up?" I ask, changing the subject.
"California."
"So you were born in California? What city?" I ask expectantly.
"Carmel," he returns with a smirk.
I release a thoughtful 'hmmm', to which he responds, "That okay with you?"
"Oh…sorry…Carmel is very beautiful…I hear." I nervously glance out the passenger window, wondering if my suspicions are obvious. "So I have a secret to share," I continue with vim as I force myself to look at Mitch. "I once got in trouble for smoking marijuana in school."
"Really?" he says surprised. "Wow, no…I don't believe you."
"Yeah…what about you, have you ever been in trouble?" I watch his expressions closely, but his look of amusement only intensifies.
"I've never smoked pot," he says with decision.
"But have you ever been in trouble?" I push.
"Mia, you're a terrible liar ya know." He glances at me, giggles and then reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a firm squeeze.
"You've never smoked marijuana," he says, over pronouncing marijuana.
"Why do you say that?" I say, feeling hurt.
"Who calls pot marijuana? I mean if you'd said weed, skunk, herb, grass or even ganja, I may've believed you."
I begin to gnaw at the insides of my mouth and wring my hands.
"C'mon Mia, just come out with it. What is it you want to ask?" Amusement skirts his tone.
"Well, I guess I can't get anything past you," I say spiritlessly.
"I already told you can ask me anything. I don't want to build a relationship on mistrust." He looks at me and nods his head, encouraging me to go ahead.
I inhale, followed by a heavy sign. "Well, when Ben came that day he said….he said you have a criminal record, and dared me to ask you about it."
Mitch chuckles and grasps the steering wheel with both hands until his knuckles turn white. A smile creeps across his face, but his lip doesn't curl to reveal the perfect pearly white teeth I've come to love.
"I don't have a criminal record," he proclaims. "Why would you listen to him anyway? You know he's a lair, Mia. He'd say anything to get you back."
"Okay, I believe you," I say, "but thought I'd ask just the same. I can ask you anything, remember?"
"Of course," he responds as he exits the highway. "I think it's time we turn in for the night. I'll get you to the base early tomorrow morning."
We arrive at a mediocre hotel and I stay watching TV as he goes out for food. I find myself troubled by my conversation with Mitch. I wonder if there is some truth to Ben's accusation, but I searched it and never found a thing. Mia, stop doing this! Mitch is a good guy. Besides who wouldn't get pissed-off over being accused of something they didn't do?
The sound of scratching distracts me. Mitch is back and his hands full. I race to the door and fling it open. A gasp gets stuck in my throat, causing me to sputter and choke. Sweaty and out of breath, Ben stands before me. Resting one hand on the door frame, and holding his side with the other, he stoops over, staring down at me with hollow eyes.
"Wha-" I blubber, as I feel the blood drain from my face.
"Mia, Mitch did this to me," he whispers as he removes his hand from his side to reveal a blood soaked shirt.
"I…I…I don't understand." I lift my hand, covering my gaping mouth.
A subtle laugh escapes him, causing him to grimace and fold over like a delicate flower in a strong breeze.
"Still don't believe me?"
"Well…how…what…why are you here?" I race my fingers through my hair. My heart is pounding like a thunderous hammer and I start to feel dizzy.
"I followed you here…all I wanted to do was warn him…and he pulled a knife on me." He makes a sound like whistling through his teeth.
"No…no…he'd never do that." I shake my head vigorously.
"Mia, call the police." He looks at me with sad eyes that appear incredibly dark against the paleness of his skin.
"I…I need to think," I stammer as I go back into the room and collapse in a chair. Ben raped me; he cannot be trusted; while Mitch has been nothing but goodness.
Ben slides down to the concrete. "Mia please, I need some help. I'm bleeding a lot."
I cannot let Ben die, despite what he has done to me. I snap back to reality and find myself in automatic as I grab the phone and dial 911. I tell Ben the police are on the way, and begin pacing about the room, waiting for Mitch, hoping he has an explanation.
When Mitch arrives, he drops the food and runs to Ben's side, placing a hand on his shoulder. "My God man, what happened?"
"Get away from me you fucking bastard!" shouts Ben as he sinks further to the ground, cringing from Mitch's touch.
"Mia, Mia, did you do this?" shouts Mitch as he rushes into the room in a panic. He grabs my hands and examines them. "Did he hurt you?"
I am stunned, and after several seconds I respond. "No…he didn't hurt me. He arrived here like this. He said you did it Mitch." My eyes swell with tears as I feel my world crumble beneath me.
"Mia, I'd never do this…I have no reason to. Mia, look at me." He lifts my face in his hands and stares at me with penetrating eyes. I can feel his sorrow in the depths of my soul. I blink, sending salty streams tumbling down my cheeks.
"You think he did this to himself?" I ask incredulously.
"I don't know Mia. He needs help."
I look past Mitch and watch as Ben slumps over into a puddle of blood. My legs begin to shake and I quickly sit down on the edge of the bed. Mitch sits beside me, folding me into his arms.
It seems like hours before the paramedics arrive, place Ben on a gurney and hook an IV to him.
"Who's this man?" asks a plain closed police officer.
"Ben -," I say as I rise from the bed.
"So what happened here?" he asks as his partner circles me and Mitch, looking us up and down.
I tell him everything I know, despite the guilt I feel for implicating Mitch in a crime he so passionately claims he did not commit.
"No weapons here," says the partner. "No signs of a struggle." He moves in closer to Mitch and examines the bruising on his face. "This guy's shiner ain't so fresh, and I think we'd see some marks on the girl."
"What's your relationship to this man? Why wuz he here?" asks the officer.
"Umm…I'm his ex-fiancé."
A smile crosses the man's rough, stubbly face. "And who's this guy…the other man?" He glares at Mich.
"I'm just a friend helping her out," interjects Mitch. "She's joined the military and I'm getting her to base."
"Ya mind stripping to ya boxers there buddy and letting me hav's a look?" He says and knits his brows.
"I wasn't even here when Ben arrived," responds Mitch coldly.
"He wasn't," I add.
"So then you have nothing to hide." He sticks out his sausage like index and middle fingers and gives them a roll.
"Unless I'm under arrest, then I suggest you stop interrogating me," retorts Mitch.
Another officer races into the room and blurts, "Hey 'tective Costa, we just got's a call in. A man was apprehended. Tried robbin' a liquor store and they found a knife on him. Some type of huntin' knife, which seems similar to the one used on the victim."
The detective becomes thoughtful and asks, "Any ID on the victim?"
"Yes sir, his wallet's on him."
The detective peeks out the door, pulls out his cell phone and steps outside.
I grab Mitch's hand and squeeze. "This is terrible. I had no idea he was following us….did you?"
"Uh, no…no," says Mitch with a jerk of the head as if I had drawn him back from a far off place.
"Why would he accuse you of such a horrible thing?" I feel my face redden as the anger boils inside of me.
"He needs help Mia. He can't let go. I just hope you're safe where you go."
"Ok, Detective Costa wants to get both yours contact info," says an officer. He pulls a pencil from behind his ear and smirks. "Ya know…just in case we need to bring ya's in for questionin'."
We give the officer our information and are eventually left alone, with a promise that we are not out of their suspicions.
Mitch and I get into bed and hold each other tight.
"Mitch, I'm worried about Ben…I mean he's a horrible person, but I don't want him to die. Do you think he'll be alight?" I hold back my tears, wanting to hate Ben for what he has done to me, wanting to think he got exactly what he deserves.
"He'll be fine, Mia," he says sympathetically. "I got the name of the hospital from the paramedics. I'll call to check in on him in the morning."
"Really," I ask in disbelief, "even though he has accused you of trying to kill him?"
"Of course, I understand how you feel. And believe it or not, I don't want to see Ben die either."
"I just don't get why he'd blame you. I…I'm so angry about that. That's really evil."
I lay my head on Mitch's chest, stare into the darkness of the room, and listen to his heartbeat. I rub my hand up and down his bare chest, feeling his smooth, toned body.
"Yeah, well, he's angry. He has nothing on me, I'll be okay." He bends an arm behind his head, and I know he won't be getting much sleep