A/N: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I want to thank Andromida1964 again for being the wonderful friend that she is and taking the time to read through my work, give me suggestions and find all my mistakes. You're the best.

BPOV

I have to admit, this has been one of the worst months of my short life. It all started with that stupid homecoming dance. I remember that Friday night like it was yesterday. That night started the emotional roller coaster that I've been trapped on all month.

As I sit in my room getting ready for Alice's Halloween party, my mind replays the events of that day after I left Jacob standing in my living room.

*** Three weeks ago***

I was so excited and ready for that whole weekend and it all ended with me spending the entire weekend alone crying in bed. Friday night the girls showed up after Jacob left and found me in my room curled up in a little ball on my bed. My tears were so heavy that my pillow was soaked. I didn't even realize they walked in until I heard Alice's voice.

"Oh God Bella!" Alice screamed. "What the hell did he do this time?" She knew in an instant that Jacob was somehow involved. She had seen this too many times for it to be anything else.

Rosalie looked confused for half a second before the situation hit her. "I'm gonna kill that sorry son of a bitch!" she yelled. "Just wait until I get my hands on that fucking asshole!"

"You don't have to Rose," Alice said through gritted teeth. "Jasper will take care of him as soon as I tell him about this." Alice was on her cell phone before she even finished the sentence.

I lunged at her. I was desperate. I couldn't let her make that call. "No Alice! Please, leave Jasper out of this."

"Bella, I've had it with him. This is the last time…" Her attention went to the phone. "Jasper, you have to…"

I ripped the phone out of her hand and closed it immediately. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and I whipped my head in Rosalie's direction just as the phone reached her ear.

"Rose, please, you can't tell Jasper. Please I'm begging you, leave this alone." My tears continued to stream heavily down my face. I knew they wanted to help and protect me but they really weren't making this situation or my mood any better.

Rosalie pulled the phone away from her ear and I could hear Jasper's voice. "Hello… hello… Rose…"

She saw the look on my face and flipped the phone shut without answering. "You better have a good reason Bella. That asshole deserves everything he's going to get." She was livid but at least she agreed not to involve Jasper.

I wiped away as many of the tears as I could but it was a useless effort; they were still coming. I hung my head a second before I dropped back down on my bed. I wrapped my arms around a pillow and brought it just under my chin. I still had Alice's phone in my hand because my sneaky little friend would have just sent Jasper text messages if she had it in her hands. Unfortunately, their behavior only worried Jasper because he started calling Alice. After I hit the ignore button for the third call, I sent him a quick message.

Jazz, Bella took my phone. We're ok. Don't worry. c u at my house in an hour. Kisses…Ali

I put the phone down and hugged the pillow tighter. I didn't look at either of them when I spoke. "Yes, Jacob and I got into a fight; a bad one. He said he was backing out of going to the dance tomorrow. I got hurt just like you knew I would. I've told you before though this is between me and Jacob. It's our problem to deal with and I finally have."

I told them everything that happened and how I ended things. I cried through the entire retelling of the story and they were both on my bed comforting me. I really didn't want their sympathy and they had somewhere to be. I urged them to go to the bonfire. It took a lot of work but I finally made them leave without me. I wasn't in the mood to be around people so I stayed home so I could cry in peace.

My night was officially ruined. Okay it was my entire weekend but that night was the worst. When the tears finally stopped I was left with red, puffy and burning eyes. I just stared at the wall seeing nothing. I haven't felt like this in six months and it hurt the same today as it did then.

I tried to sleep but I wasn't getting anywhere. I tossed and turned until well after midnight and I got desperate when I could feel the tears threaten to return. I got out of bed and walked to my closet in search of the only thing that would help me. I pulled it from its hanger in the far corner and went back to bed.

I let myself remember and the first thing I saw were those haunting green eyes. They were enough to bring a smile to my face. I remembered him holding me and how good it felt when he comforted me. I brought the jacket I was wearing that day up to my face and breathed deeply. His scent was still there and that alone was enough to calm me. I wanted that feeling again. I closed my eyes and I could feel him around me. The security I felt was intense. The only way it could be better is if he was physically here with me. I let myself get lost in the sensation and I fell into a deep sleep.

I found out the next week that Jacob didn't show up anywhere all weekend; not the bonfire, the football game or the dance. I didn't think he would. If he was spending his time with Leah then he was definitely doing it behind closed doors. The thought of that made me hurt, sick and angry all at the same time.

The two weeks following our fight were hard on me. I learned over the last year and a half, however, how to shut down the part of me that was ruled by my emotions. Jacob hurt me again just like he always did and I had to deal with that.

I knew by his behavior that he was back with Leah. All the signs were there. No more phone calls just to talk. No text messages about anything. No contact whatsoever. He avoided me and I avoided him. It was always the same whenever things went bad between us. I couldn't face him and feel more of the pain that had been assaulting my heart since I walked away from him.

Now that I think back I was really the one who caused that roller coaster of emotions in those first two weeks. I would get myself down during the day thinking about Jacob and dwelling on the hurt that he caused me again. Then at night, I would wrap myself with vivid thoughts and dreams of Edward. I slept with my Edward-scented jacket under my pillow so I could pretend he was close by giving me that security I needed to sleep. So I admit it, I caused it all. I was sad and moping during the day and I let myself be happy, safe and comforted at night.

Why am I even doing this to myself? I know I'm only able to have Jacob when it's convenient for him. There are other boys here that I could try to go out with but, what do I do, I find comfort in a boy I'll never see again. I am so screwed up it's a wonder I'm able to function.

I turn back to my closet, grab my outfit for tonight and lay it on the bed before I go to take my shower. My mind drifts again taking me back to the day that made my heart drop in my chest and made me regret every word and thought over the past month.

***Four days ago***

It was Tuesday in the fourth week in October and my day was going like all the others had. I didn't expect any surprises. So, when I saw him standing on my porch you could have knocked me over with a feather. I just stared at him not really knowing what to say or do.

"Sam…" I paused for a second still shocked that he was standing there. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

My feelings for Sam were really no secret. We used to be friends but I blamed him for starting this whole mess between me and Jacob in the first place. If he would have never introduced Jacob to Leah, we could have been together this whole time. We could have been happy. Sam took that from me and I just couldn't get past that.

He walked past me into the house. "Bella, we need talk," he said with a no nonsense tone that said he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Well, too bad for him. "We don't have anything to say to each other Sam." I didn't mean to sound angry but, because I'm going through this again, the old resentment I felt for him came back strong.

"Yes Bella, we do. There is something you need to know."

Even at fifteen, Sam had that voice of authority that made people stop and listen. Well he wasn't going to get that from me. I just rolled my eyes at him. "I don't need to know anything that comes from you."

"Look Bella, I know that you blame me for your problems with Jake. You think I did all of this to you but right now I'm here to fix that if I can." He stared at me with a seriousness that he's never had before. "You just have to listen."

"Is there any chance of you just walking away?" I asked hoping he would just leave me alone.

"No. Now just stand there quietly and listen," he demanded.

"Fine." I threw my back against the door. It wasn't enough to hurt. I was really just going for a dramatic effect. "I'm listening." I waited for him to say why he was here but, when he didn't say a word, I made a demand of my own. "Well…speak."

"Bella, I've been watching you over the past two and a half weeks. I know how upset you've been and I'm sure you know that I know why."

God, could you get on with it please?

I stood there in silence waiting for him to say more. He looked at me hoping I would respond in some way. When I didn't he continued.

"You may not believe what I have to tell you but it is the absolute truth." He took a breath before he started the conversation that crushed me. "Jake wasn't lying to you Bella when he told you he had family business to take care of the weekend of homecoming."

My heart started pounding hard in my chest. I didn't want to believe him. I tried to play it off. "Yeah right Sam. With as many times as he's used 'family stuff' as an excuse, why should I believe that now?"

"Because this is true. Your fight was completely unnecessary. If you would have let him explain, you could have saved yourself all this shit that you've been going through." He was telling me I was wrong. "I can tell you what happened that weekend. You have to know what he's been going through."

"Why do you care?"

"We were all friends once Bells, remember. I don't like what Jake's done to you but the one time he wanted to tell you the truth, the one time he needed you to believe him the most…you gave up on him and went ballistic."

"So what was it that he wanted me to know? What could be so damn important that he had to walk out on me again?" I felt the anger boil up inside of me and I was ready to let it out.

Sam blew out another deep breath before he spoke. "Bella, Jake had to go with his dad to help Rachel. She got into some trouble and needed them right away." He was hesitant when he finished his sentence and I knew there was way more to this story.

"Sam, what happened to Rachel?" I asked but the look on his face made me think I didn't really want to know.

"Well, in the beginning, she just needed them to help her move out of her apartment. All she told them was that she needed to get out right away. She didn't really explain why."

The troubled look on his face alone would have made me worry but there was something about the way he said 'in the beginning' that really had me nervous.

"Billy wanted to leave right away but Jake told him he needed to talk to you first. He wanted to let you know that he had to cancel. He really did feel bad about it Bella. Then the fight broke out, you walked out on him and he never got to tell you what happened." His eyes dropped to the floor before he spoke again. "He didn't plan to be at your house for so long so they left a lot later than Billy wanted."

"He called me when he left your house. He was pretty hurt and completely pissed off. Believe it or not, I told him he deserved it for the way he's treated you all this time. You may think I always went along with everything he did Bella, but I didn't. I wanted to kick his ass that night after…" He saw me tense up a bit. "Well, you know what I'm talking about."

"Yeah," I said in a flat voice, "I remember that night well."

"Anyway, you know Rachel lives over an hour away right? Well, they tried to hurry because it had already been thirty minutes since she called. But when they got there…" his voice trailed off and his eyes went blank like he wasn't there with me anymore.

The look on his face scared me and I knew something bad was coming. I waited for him to continue. After a few minutes though, I put my hand on his arm to bring him back from wherever his mind had taken him.

"Sam?" I was ready to slap him to bring him out of this trance he seemed to be in. If I thought my heart was pounding before, it was nothing to the way it was trying to punch its way out of my body now.

"Bella," he grabbed my hand as he began, "There were cops everywhere. Rachel was in the hospital. She was…" he had to take a breath before he continued, "…she was found in her apartment beaten up really bad."

My free hand flew up to cover my mouth to stifle the gasp that escaped my lips. "Oh my God," I said more to myself than to him.

"She was trying to leave her boyfriend after a very big fight but he came home before she could get out. They wouldn't have made it on time even if they did leave right away but Jake lost it and started thinking it was his fault."

I was crying now. I felt horrible for their whole family. "No Sam, he shouldn't blame himself. It's my fault. I had to start that fight." I slid down and ended up on the floor. "God Sam, he probably hates me right now. I'm the one who kept him from his sister." I buried my head in my hands and continued to cry.

Everything I said after that was supposed to be in my head but evidently I couldn't keep it to myself. "This is all my fault. Maybe they could have gotten to her if he didn't come here. They could have driven faster…they could have saved her."

Sam was on his knees next to me trying to get my attention. "Bella, stop. None of this is your fault. I told you there was nothing they could have done. The cops were called about forty minutes after she called Billy. It was impossible to get to her on time."

"Is she okay Sam? She's not…" I couldn't even speak the word. The tears flowed even more at just the thought of it.

"No Bells, she's not. She spent a week in the hospital though. She's home now and staying with a friend."

"How has Jake been dealing with this? Is he okay?" I was so concerned about him now. I just assumed that his silence meant he was back with Leah. We didn't even speak to each other when he was.

"He just shut down. It kinda freaked us all out. He went to school and practice every day but only because Billy made him. He was on autopilot most of the time. I could have sworn he shut his phone off because he would ignore everything that went to him. If it wasn't about Rachel, he didn't want to know."

God Bella, you freakin idiot. Why didn't you just listen to him? He didn't have to be alone through all of this. You say you love him but you turned your back on him when he needed you.

Sam pulled me from my thoughts. "He's better now though. Now that she's home, safe and getting better."

"Sam, I really messed this up. Do you think he'll talk to me?" I asked.

"I think he might want to Bella. That's kinda why I'm here telling you what happened. He told me that you thought he was with Leah and that's what started the fight." He looked me right in the eye as he spoke the next sentence. "I know your pattern Bells. As soon as you think he's gone, you avoid him like the plague. I think he's been avoiding you too because of that. Just try to talk to him. You never know."

Stupid Jacob Black!

I've been trying to talk to him for the past four days. In the mornings at the bus stop, he and his friends stay about a half block away until the bus picks us up. Every time I see him in the hall at school, he just walks right by me like I'm not even there. He won't even acknowledge me when I'm standing right in front of him. I've tried to call and text and I get nothing. I don't know what else to do.

I can't believe Sam let me think he would want to talk to me. Whatever friendship we could have salvaged four days ago when he told me about Rachel and how he stuck up for me when Jacob was being an ass is nothing now. He set me up to look stupid while I follow Jacob around trying to get him to talk to me.

Well screw him too. Who needs Sam anyway?

It's almost time for the party and while I sit and brush out my hair my mind drifts again and I'm caught in the endless war between my head and my heart.

Maybe it can't be fixed this time Bella. Maybe the one time he really wanted to be with you, you threw your chance away.

Oh shut up. No one asked you.

I tried to warn you but you didn't listen.

How could I when he's left so many other times?

You could have believed in the person you claimed to love. Or is that asking too much?

It's not that easy.

It's exactly that easy.

"Bella, are you ready? It's time to go." Charlie's yelling from downstairs ended my internal argument. It's a good thing I can keep that stuff to myself or Charlie would have me committed.

"Five minutes!" I yelled back.

I can't believe I lost track of so much time. I started getting ready two hours ago but, because I spent most of my afternoon thinking about my major screw ups this month, I ran out of time. Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about my hair and make-up because we'll all be wearing masks.

Yes, Alice decided that this should be a masquerade party. I chose a costume that came with a mask so I didn't have to hold one in my hand all night.

I bounce my way down the stairs to find my dad waiting for me by the door. He turned when he heard me coming. The instant red coloring in my dad's face reminded me that he hasn't seen me in this costume yet…big mistake.

"What the hell are you wearing?" The words came out somewhere between a growl and a scream.

Play it cool Bella.

"It's a Halloween costume dad." I laugh a little. "I'm Cat woman. You know…from Batman."

"Bella that suit shows everything. You can't wear something like that!"

"Dad its fine. This costume is way less revealing than some of the others out there. I'm completely covered; it's just a little tight that's all. I promise I'll be careful. Besides, no one is going to know that it's me under the mask." I hoped he didn't freak out any further and try to make me change. There's no time to find something else.

"Bella, you know what the boys will think seeing you in something like that?" He didn't sound angry. It was more concern than anything else.

"Yeah, they'll think 'hey that girl is Cat woman' that's it." I try to sound casual but I don't think I pulled it off so I add, "You know Mr. and Mrs. Brandon will be there. Nothing bad is going to happen." I gave him my sweetest smile hoping he would soften his attitude a bit.

"As long as they're going to be there but you better be careful, Bella," he said and his voice was still laced with concern. "Let's go before you're late."

I gave him a big hug and ran to the car.

The night was going great. Alice picked the perfect mix of music that had everyone dancing. She even threw in some old school music to make Rosalie and Jasper happy. He seemed to share her love for the old stuff.

Rosalie, Alice and I danced a few times but they were spending most of their time with Collin and Jasper. I didn't want to spend the night alone. I had asked Jacob to come a couple of times over the last four days but he obviously ignored my request just like everything else I said to him.

A slow song came on and, just like every other one that played, Collin and Jasper came and stole the girls away for a dance. I didn't want to stand around and watch so I went into the kitchen to get a drink. I opened the refrigerator looking for a soda but, unfortunately, the shelves were empty. I was about to go to the pantry to grab more when someone dressed in a baseball uniform handed me a Coke. I took it from him and watched him walk away.

Damn…nice ass. Get a grip Bella.

I was just about to head to the pantry when I noticed the smell lingering faintly in the kitchen. At first it made me think of Edward and the jacket that was lying neatly under my pillow at home. It couldn't be the same. Maybe I'm just going crazy or something. I shook my head and went into the pantry to grab more soda. When I was done stocking the shelves I went back into the front room to find the girls.

I walked up behind Alice and hugged my friend around the waist as I spoke, "This is such a great party Alice. You need to have more parties like this from now on."

"This has been a lot of fun and I can't believe how many people showed up," Rosalie said.

"I know, huh. I didn't think this many people would get dressed up for Halloween. There are some cool costumes." Alice was excited about how this whole night was working out. "This is fun but I better go entertain."

We stood there and watched as Alice glided through the room talking and laughing with everyone she came in contact with. As I was watching her, a slight chill ran down my back. I got a funny feeling that someone was watching me. I looked around but I didn't see anyone looking in my direction so I blew it off.

"I'll be right back," Jasper said as he moved through the crowd to the other side of the room.

I watched Jasper as he stopped in front of the boy in the baseball uniform that I saw in the kitchen. They were talking and laughing and I got a crazy sense of déjà vu when they both looked in my direction. I couldn't see his face of course because of the mask but I got this strange feeling when I looked at him.

I shook it off as Rosalie grabbed my arm to dance to one of her favorite songs. We were dancing for a minute or so when Alice joined us. We were laughing and having a good time when the guys jumped in. We danced through the next couple of songs just enjoying the night.

An old Michael Jackson song started to play and one of the boys dressed like Michael took over the middle of the room doing all of his signature moves. The crowd opened up so everyone could watch.

I was standing and watching with everyone else when I caught that scent again. It was stronger than it was in the kitchen and easier to identify. It was his scent but that was impossible. I looked around me but I was surrounded by girls so I had no idea where it was coming from.

As the Michael Jackson song ended another slow song began to play. 'Masterpiece' by Atlantic Starr was one of those old school songs that Rosalie had me listen to and it had become one of my absolute favorite songs. I wished I had someone to dance with as I saw my friends wrap their arms around their boyfriends looking so happy together.

I moved to step away from the middle of the room when I backed right into someone. I started to turn around to say I was sorry but I was stopped by two hands on my shoulders. I knew it was a boy who stopped me but he didn't let me turn around. I felt his hands run down my arms and his arms wrapped around my waist.

He pulled me close to his body and started swaying to the music. I instantly felt the warmth his body caused to flow through me. He dropped his head so it was resting on top of mine and I was hit again with his scent.

What the hell! Let it go Bella. There is no way he could be here.

Just as that thought passed through my head, I was turned around and pulled into his chest. The scent was even stronger now that my cheek was pressed against his body. How crazy is it that I've been going to bed every night with this scent to comfort me and now I find it here again right when I wanted someone to dance with. It was like my subconscious mind brought him back to me whenever I needed to feel the comfort he brought me that one day more than a month ago.

I felt kind of bad because I didn't even want to look to see who I was dancing with. I thought if I looked it would tear me away from the fantasy I was engulfing myself in. With that scent filling my head it was easy to fantasize that I was dancing with Edward. It was amazing and strange at the same time. It was like we were the only two people in the room dancing to a song that was playing for just the two of us. I could see his face again and those beautiful green eyes just staring at me. I wished he was really here but it was one of those wishes that could never come true so I was going to enjoy this feeling while it lasted.

As the song ended he leaned down, kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "Thank you."

Oh my God…that voice. But it's not possible.

He let me go and walked back through the crowd. I was left stunned and frozen in place with the shock of hearing that voice. I know my memory of it may have dulled a bit over the last month and a half but that was definitely his voice.

Say something Bella…go and stop him.

Just as I started to move my feet, another voice in my ear brought me back to reality. I turned to see Rosalie standing next to me. "Hey girl, why are you just standing here?" she asked.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" Alice asked coming up right after Rosalie.

I turned to look for him again but he was gone. "You two aren't going to believe me," I said as I turned to look at my two friends. I didn't know how to let them in on my delusion.

"What?" they said at the same time.

"I think, and I know this sounds crazy, but I think Edward is here." After I said it I felt really stupid because it just couldn't be possible.

"Bella, he can't be," Alice said.

"Bella, Jasper said he lives in California. He can't be here." Rosalie said trying to be the voice of reason.

"I know and that's what makes it so crazy."

"Then why would you think that?" Rose asked.

"I was just dancing with that guy in the baseball uniform and he smelled just like him. Then, when he thanked me for the dance, his voice was the same. I couldn't see his face of course but it had to be him," I said in a serious tone. They had to know I wasn't kidding about this.

"Bella, I know you want to believe he was here but it's just not possible," Alice said with compassion.

"I know. I just wish…" I let my sentence trail off.

It was almost eleven o'clock and the night was coming to a close. Alice announced that this would be the last song of the night and it was another slow one. I know she just wanted to dance with Jasper one last time before the night was over. Since I didn't have anyone to dance with I started the clean up a little early. I was putting the soda cans in a bag when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey beautiful, will you dance with me?"

I turned around to see Jacob standing there with a huge smile on his face. The shocks just seemed to keep coming as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me to him. 'Two Occasions' by The Deele was playing now. This was another of those old school songs that made it to my favorite list and it seemed perfect to be dancing with Jacob to this song.

"I didn't think you were coming," I said to him with a small hint of hurt in my voice.

"I almost didn't. I was so angry with you for shutting me out again," he said with his own pain in his voice.

"Jake, I'm so sorry about Rachel. I wish you would have told me."

"I tried Bella. You just kept yelling at me and…" he stopped mid-sentence. "It doesn't matter now. I made it here and I just want to dance with you," he said as he pulled me closer to him.

We moved slowly to the music and after about a minute he spoke, "Bella?" I lifted my head to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."

We just stared at each other not even moving to the music anymore. Then he did the one thing I never expected. He leaned down and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm against mine. I've been waiting for a kiss from him for a year and a half now but I never got more than a kiss on the cheek or forehead.

As the kiss turned more passionate I opened my mouth a little so he would know I was ready for more. He gave me just what I wanted as his tongue brushed against mine. I never had a real kiss before and Jacob made my first one special. It was slow and sweet and, for the first time since we started our relationship, I truly felt like his focus was on me alone.

Far too soon for my liking, Jacob slowly broke our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. "I should have done that sooner."

I was speechless. There was nothing I could say that would make this moment any better. Before I knew it he lifted me in his arms so he was standing upright and my toes barely grazed the floor. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders so I could hold on. It was such a strange thing to be in public with each other; out in the open and happy. I closed my eyes, put my chin on his shoulder and just relished in the feeling.

A/N: Bella finally gets her first kiss. Took Jacob long enough. And I really would like to know the answer to the question…was Edward really there or not? Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.