a/n: It's so easy to dislike Jessica Stanley… Remember, all she wants to do is find out what's going on between Edward and Bella because, of course, she's jealous. She's not exactly sure if her plan will work yet, and neither am I, but let's just say that she doesn't have good intentions… I don't quite know how our dear Bella will react either, but I can't wait to find out!
Enjoy the drama :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except for some of the drama), and it's still rated M.
Bella awoke before her alarm even rang. It was another perfectly gray day in Forks. She could barely contain her enthusiasm as she dressed and got ready to go. She abused herself mentally for being such a girl, but she couldn't help but thrill at the thought of seeing Edward when she got to school.
It'd been less than twenty-four hours since he'd left school with Alice to hunt, but it had felt like a week to Bella. He literally occupied her every thought. Rationally, she knew it was absolutely ridiculous to feel this way. Was she now the kind of girl who sat at home pining away over her boyfriend whenever he was not with her? Ugg.
Still, she wanted nothing more than to feel Edward's cool arms around her, to taste his lips on hers, and to smell the sweet fragrance of his skin.
She was out the door and in her truck in less than fifteen minutes. But, when Bella pulled in to the parking lot at Forks H.S. and looked around expectantly for Edward's Volvo, she was sadly disappointed.
She was early, though. So, she sat in the warm, dry cab of her truck eating the granola bar she brought for breakfast and waited for him to arrive.
Twenty minutes passed and no Volvo. When she heard the first bell ring, she reluctantly turned the engine off, grabbed her bag, pulled her hood up against the drizzle, and headed to class.
Still no Edward.
Where was he? Did something happen. No. Of course not. He was immortal. Did they decide to stay an extra day? Perhaps Alice convinced him that he needed a few more mountain lions before coming back to Bella. Surely that was it. But couldn't he have called her to let her know? I mean, didn't he know she was impatiently waiting to see him?
She scolded herself for being so sensitive. He'd be back soon enough, and he certainly didn't have to call her to provide updates on every moment he was away. She hated herself for being upset, and she hated herself for caring so much. And, most of all, she hated herself for worrying that maybe he wasn't as excited about seeing her this morning as she was to see him…
Bella trudged to first period feeling miserable. Less than an hour ago, she'd been on an emotional high, and now she felt like crap. Fucking Lovely. Edward hadn't even done anything wrong. For all she knew, there were a hundred perfectly good reasons why he wasn't back at school yet. Maybe Alice had forced him to take her home last minute so she could change outfits or something. Maybe they were taking first period off because they were exhausted from a late night of hunting. Wait, could they even be tired? It seemed unlikely – they didn't even sleep – but still. She knew that there was absolutely no reason for her to be angry or upset, but that knowledge did nothing to improve her foul mood.
To make matters worse, in English Mr. Berty promptly instructed students to take out several pieces of paper and a pen. They were writing. Awesome. At least Bella had already finished the novel, and Jessica wouldn't have the opportunity to talk to her. She was still pissed at her about the conversation she'd overheard in the locker room, but Jessica Stanley was so not worth her attention now.
Bella finished her essay a few minutes before the bell and read it over once before handing it in. Not too bad really. She was a good writer and the question, frankly, was a little simplistic. Still, it was obvious that her dreadful mood had seeped into her analysis of Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship. Perhaps she should have chosen Lydia's and Wickham's pairing to discuss instead; her tone would have been more appropriate. Oh well. Mr. Berty would probably still give her an A; he usually did.
Although she didn't expect him, she was still sadly disappointed when she didn't find Edward waiting in the hall after class dismissed. And, he still wasn't there after 2nd, 3rd, 4th period. Get over it Bella, she gave herself a mental pep talk on her way to trig. You'll see him soon enough. It's not the end of the world. And he's probably not missing you or anything… She cut herself off. No need for angst. He told her he'd be back, and he would with all his good reasons for being late and everything… Bah.
Bella almost didn't want 5th period to end because that meant lunch. And, with no Edward, she'd be stuck at the table with Mike, Lauren, Lexi, and Jessica (fucking Jessica). If she were lucky, though, maybe she could get a seat next to Angela. Bella liked Angela a lot; she was a genuinely nice person. But they were both shy, and they hadn't really gotten to know each other very well yet. She made a mental note to change that.
When the bell rang, Bella gathered her things and followed her classmates out into the hallway. By this point, she'd given up hoping to see Edward. So she was beyond startled when he came up behind her, wrapping his icy arms around her waist.
"What the—?" Bella spun around and found herself face to face with her Greek god of a boyfriend. "You scared the shit out of me!"
"Sorry, honey." His lips twisted into a crooked little smirk, and he looked devilishly handsome. She had wanted to tell him how angry she was at him for not being back when he said he would; she had wanted to ask where the hell he'd been all morning. But now she just desperately needed to feel his arms around her waist and his lips on hers.
So, she took his hand in hers and led him down the hall and outside into the courtyard. Everyone had already made their way to lunch, so the area was deserted. Bella threw her arms around him and began planting kisses on his neck, his chin, his cheeks, his lips.
Edward smiled at her eagerness and hugged her into his arms, lifting her off her feet. "I'm sorry I wasn't back earlier, Alice—
But she pressed her mouth to his cutting him off; she didn't care about his reasons anymore.
Bella kissed him fiercely. "I missed you so much – I know it was only one day. You probably think I'm ridiculous, or needy, or just obsessed. And maybe I'm all of those things, but I can't get enough of you."
He silenced her by sucking her lower lip into his mouth and kissing her again. He already knew that he couldn't exist without her, but to hear confirmation of his feelings in her words was indescribable.
He moved his lips against hers slowly at first, pulling at her bottom lip, flitting his icy tongue in and out of her mouth, running it along the edge of her teeth, and keeping his eyes open the entire time. His golden eyes pierced into the depths of her brown ones, and he attempted to convey the intensity of his feelings with his gaze.
Bella wanted more. She grabbed two fistfuls of his jacket and managed to wrap her legs around his waist while he held her up. He grunted into her mouth, as she worked to press herself more tightly against his body. The sounds coming from his throat were gritty and low and so incredibly sexy, and Bella smiled against his lips in satisfaction.
He slid his strong hands down from her waist to the curve of her hips. He was clearly already aroused, and he easily lifted her body up and down, fingers pressing into warm skin, hips jerking against hers.
Bella swiveled her hips in reply, and he tightened his grip. Her stomach knotted, and her breathing became embarrassingly uneven, but she loved the feeling of his strong body pressed flush to hers.
He sat her down on the picnic table, his hips still moving against hers. She traced the smooth line of his jaw with her tongue before exhaling a warm breath into his lips.
His breathing hitched and his eyes glimmered darkly. She smiled coyly and reached up to twine fingers through his hopeless hair.
"Bella…" he breathed.
She leaned back, her spine curving gently, as she kept her legs securely wrapped around his waist. Bella looked up at him, and he drank in the sight of her body stretched out over the table. He couldn't resist slipping his cool hands under the soft fabric of her blouse, grabbing her hips and pulling her impossibly closer to his body. She shivered at his touch and licked her lips.
Edward eyed her mouth hungrily, then let his gaze fall, following the soft curves of her body, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. He slid one hand up her flat stomach and over her ribcage, smiling crookedly when he felt Bella catch her breath.
She bit her lip now, waiting anxiously for what she hoped he would do.
But he merely grazed the curve of her breast, skimming his fingers along the underwire of her bra, before withdrawing his hand. Bella practically groaned out loud in disappointment.
He chuckled softly, curling his lips into his characteristic smirk, as she squirmed against his hips.
He leaned over her, and pressed his cool lips against her ear. "Calm down, love. I know you want me almost as badly as I do you, but now is, sadly, not the time or place."
Bella scowled at him. With any other boy, the wetness of her panties would remain entirely her personal business while she remained fully clothed. But Edward was not the typical boyfriend, and privacy did not mean the same thing anymore. Stupid super vampire senses. Then again, she could clearly see how much he desired her. In some twisted sense, it only seemed fair that he could tell the same about her.
"Come." He disrupted her thoughts. "Let's go to lunch before Alice interrupts us yet again." Bella blushed remembering the awkwardness that was yesterday afternoon and took his hand, hopping off the table.
Sure enough, Alice was sashaying towards them, as they entered the hall.
"Edward! Bella!" Alice chirped musically. She, like her brother, was devastatingly beautiful, but pixie like, delicate in appearance. Her deep black short hair pointed in every direction, and her golden eyes twinkled with excitement. She was positively radiant and literally exuded warmth and enthusiasm from every pore. Bella wondered how someone so small could have so much energy, but she couldn't help but feel incredibly happy by her side.
"You're sitting with us today." Alice stated it as if it were an obvious fact.
"Um, okay. Sounds good." Bella responded with a shy smile. Edward just rolled his eyes.
Bella had never really spoken to Edward's sister before, but she already liked her very much.
Edward was listening attentively to Alice's inner dialog. Be careful Edward – she's gonna want to do this, well, she's going to think she wants to do this, and she thinks she wants you to be truthful and all, but just, well, as I said, be careful.
Edward caught the gist of Alice's concerns despite her rambling and looked at her questioningly. "Really?" He asked his sister under his breath so Bella could not hear.
Alice, of course, responded in her head. I mean, c'mon Eddie. You couldn't expect much differently. After all, what else do they incessantly talk about? Surely not sex… Her mental voice dripped with sarcasm as she pictured the immature, hormonal teenagers that were their classmates.
They were greeted by Jessica's shrill cry when they entered the lunchroom. "Bella, Edward! Over here."
Bella grimaced, remembering the conversation she'd overhead yesterday. She was tempted to ignore Jessica entirely and walk to an empty table with Alice and Edward. But Jessica didn't know that she'd been listening in the locker room, and she didn't want to act any differently. Why give Jessica even more reason to dislike and talk badly about her behind her back?
So once again Bella, with Alice bouncing along at her side and Edward trailing behind, moved to Jessica's crowded table. The ceaseless chatter was even more pronounced than usual and there was a palpable edge of excitement in the air.
Bella and Edward took two empty seats at the end by Angela. Alice slid in beside Bella.
Jessica was sitting across the table from them, sandwiched between Mike and Lauren. Edward listened to their thoughts and quickly understood completely.
Shit. So this was what Alice was warning him about. He remembered this charade from last year, although he, naturally, did not participate. Evidently this… event was some obscene and ridiculous high school tradition guaranteed to make the average student feel insecure, inferior, embarrassed, and even more average. Awesome. And, now Jessica would cajole Bella into "playing."
Alice bounced in her seat and waved excitedly when Emmett and Rosalie entered the cafeteria.
Em sauntered over immediately and squeezed in beside Edward. Rose looked absolutely horrified, but she sat down by her husband and began scrutinizing her immaculate manicure.
"What's the occasion?" Emmett asked, looking around at their unusual company. Edward frowned but nodded toward Jessica pointedly.
"Oh!" Emmett bellowed in understanding. "Fun! Count me in."
At that, Rosalie shot him a murderous glance, and he quickly rescinded the offer. "Actually, I think I better sit this one out man."
And Jessica was talking, explaining to the table (and Bella in particular) that the annual Purity Test was a time-honored tradition at Forks High School. A time to gauge how "pure" everyone was by having select students respond to a list of questions regarding which acts each person had engaged in. You could only participate, of course, if you were important enough for anyone to care.
Edward scoffed at the absurdity of high school hierarchies – the dominance of a few who repetitively reasserted their position while looking down on the rest and working to keep the masses in check. This purity test was an annual event and just another contrived exercise to affirm the popularity of some while making the majority of the student population feel inadequate and less than. All under the guise of just plain fun, of course.
Jessica pulled out a notepad and pen, and informed the table that she would ask everyone the same question. They were to answer truthfully, and she would mark down their responses in turn. Bella cringed slightly but smiled up at Edward. As Jessica intended, this was all a game to her…
And it began.
Have you ever been on a date (i.e. not just "as friends")?
Have you ever been kissed or French kissed?
Have you ever made out for more than an hour?
Do you drink socially?
Do you drink habitually?
This question got quite a few cheers and "hell yeas!" from the typical high school males at the table. Alice (obviously) responded with a resounding "absolutely not." And Bella and Angela winced, averted their eyes, and quietly answered in the negative. As if it were something to be ashamed of…
Have you ever used a fake ID?
Edward and Alice both responded in the affirmative, and Bella smiled thinking of all the various identities they'd had to assume over the years.
Have you ever fraudulently obtained prescription drugs?
Have you ever smoked pot?
Bella answered yes to this one. She blushed and eyed Edward tentatively; he raised his eyebrows pointedly but said nothing. She wasn't necessarily proud of the few joints she'd smoked in Phoenix, but she wasn't ashamed either. And they were being honest here.
Have you ever been addicted to any illegal substance?
Both Alice and Edward responded yes, and Bella was instantly curious about the reply. She smiled to herself, resolving to ask Edward about it later.
"Okay. Next." Jessica continued. "Have you ever cheated on a test? Bella?"
"Oh, um, yea."
Even Angela was guilty of that one, and Jessica quickly moved on to the next question.
Have you ever started a fight?
Have you ever gotten a non-traffic ticket?
"Okay, and now the fun ones…" Jessica smiled charmingly and turned to a fresh page in her notepad.
Has any essential piece of clothing come off while making out?
Ladies, have you ever been fingered? or, Jessica smirked and paused dramatically, boys, have you ever done said fingering?
Bella felt slightly uncomfortable, but also a strange sense of delight as she and Edward both truthfully answered yes. She glanced up at him discretely and placed her hand on his knee. Her stomach knotted pleasantly as she remembered his hands on…inside her body. He squeezed her hand under his, but stared steadily ahead.
It was normal for Edward to think of Bella constantly, but since he'd gotten her off that night in her bed, many of his thoughts now had her naked and coming on his hand. He avoided her gaze only because he knew it would undo him…he could only deal with so much sexual frustration in one day.
"Okay," Jessica continued. "Have you ever had an orgasm?"
"Oh yea, five times a day!" Mike responded enthusiastically while high-fiving Tyler across the table. Emmett voiced his agreement wholeheartedly, and Rose immediately shot him another deadly look.
"Mike," Jessica rolled her eyes. "No one here wants to hear about your personal hobbies… so, I think I'll clarify. Has anyone ever given you an orgasm?"
After recording the various responses, Jessica moved on to her final question.
And, have you ever had sex?
"I'm a yes, of course." Jessica contributed, marking her response on the notepad.
Mike quickly offered a "Hell yea!"
"Ange?" Jessica inquired.
"No, of course not." Angela fidgeted uncomfortable. Edward felt bad for her; she clearly would rather be anywhere but here.
"Alice?"
"Yep." She chirped.
Jessica continued to tabulate everyone's responses.
"Lauren?"
"Uh huh."
Edward noticed that Lauren did not look up from her fingernails. She pretended to be entirely uninterested and above it all. But Edward knew that she was clearly enjoying herself and doing her best to project as many sexual, 'you know you want me' vibes as she possibly could toward Tyler at the other end of the table.
"Edward?"
Jessica looked up expectantly, sucking the end of her pen into her mouth.
"That's a yes," Emmett hollered across the table.
Bella blushed. God, did Edward's siblings think they were having sex in the car the other day…? She was embarrassed, but her stomach tightened at the thought. Her cheeks burned and she looked down at her lap. But, out of the corner of her eye she saw Edward…nodding.
His expression was tight. His lips were pursed together and his brown was knitted into a slight crease between his perfect topaz eyes, but he was clearly nodding yes.
Jessica smiled knowingly. His response only confirmed her thoughts and probably gave her a little encouragement that someday she, too, might get to fuck Edward Cullen.
Bella's mind went blank and she felt empty inside. Somewhere, she heard Jessica calling her name.
"I, um, no." She managed feebly, wishing a pit would open up beneath her chair and swallow her whole. Her throat was dry and she felt sick. She took a quick swig of her lemonade, but it felt like acid in her mouth and made her stomach churn with nausea.
She was aware of Edward watching her gravely, imploring her silently to look up, say something, anything.
But she knew that any words would fall flat or get caught up in her throat. So she just shook her head. Her feelings moved faster than her method of delivery and she felt cloudy, hazy, heavy, empty, and sick – definitely sick.
She felt a painful knot in the back of her throat and tears welling up behind her eyes, but she forced them away. She would not let them see her cry.
And then, thankfully, the bell rang signaling the end of the lunch period. Bella evaded Edward's grasp and quickly stood up, holding back tears and escaping to the bathroom. He followed her, but decided against restraining her. She needed time to absorb the information. He would explain everything later. Still, his body, his chest ached thinking about how he must have hurt her. Causing Bella pain was never his intention.
Tears were already streaming down her hot cheeks when Bella reached the restroom and shut herself in a stall.
She really wasn't this girl.
The girl crying pathetically in the bathroom over some guy.
And that was just it. She had to remind herself – Edward was ultimately just a guy. An obscenely hot, sexy, sweet, perfect guy, but… She stopped herself.
Don't do this Bella. Don't let him get to you. Why should you even care? He's been your boyfriend for barely a week. What's it to you what he did before he was with you?
Ha… She laughed at herself derisively. Hell, just days earlier she and Jessica had discussed his past sex life with certainty. She had assumed as much, expected it even. It would only seem right for Edward Cullen to have past experiences… Why wouldn't he?
Besides, it didn't matter now. It could have been years ago for all she knew. Fuck. She couldn't help but laugh scathingly at herself once again. It could have been decades ago… and all well before he knew Bella certainly.
Honestly, however, Edward's sexual history was not why she was upset. Edward's past was his own, and it did not concern her at all – excepting that it served to transform him into what she loved…
No. She was upset because he lied. And it hurt. A lot.
She had broached the subject, insecure about her own inexperience and he had comforted her with assurances of his own.
Hearing his words that night… Bella, darling, this is all very new to me as well. I have never experienced anything like this before…
They made her so happy, so comfortable. She had not cared about his past relationships (beyond natural curiosity, of course). But then she'd felt such pleasure knowing. Believing that he was all hers, as she was completely his. Believing that no one else had ever experienced those things with him, and that she had this one thing in common with her god of a boyfriend.
In bed they could be equal.
But he lied to her. And it hurt. A lot.
And she couldn't even understand why he would lie about this when she hadn't cared what the truth was – as long as it was true.
But he did. And it hurt. A lot.
The bell rang. She was late.
Bella composed herself as best she could and exited the stall. She splashed some cool water on her face and wiped the mascara smudges from her eyes. Her cheeks were splotchy; it was obvious she'd been crying, but she couldn't really do anything about that now.
So, she took a few deep breaths and headed off to biology and Edward.
Edward looked up anxiously when she arrived. His faced was marked with concern and his entire body was stiff. Bella apologized to Mr. Banner and quickly made her way to her seat, taking care to avoid Edward's eyes.
"Bella?" he spoke quietly.
She ignored him.
"Bella, we need to talk about this."
"About what Edward!" she snapped, a little too loudly. A few students turned to stare, but she glared at them coldly and they quickly turned back to the lesson.
He sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his slender fingers. "Bella, I—" he began calmly. His voice was velvety smooth, but low and restrained.
"Edward," Bella turned to face him furiously. "I. Don't. Give. A. Shit. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care." She emphasized each word by smacking her palm down on the lab table. It stung her hand, but she refused to let it show.
"I don't care about your past. Hell – you could've fucked a hundred different girls and I still wouldn't give a shit."
"Then what—?" He pleaded, clearly uncomfortable and taken aback by her outburst.
"Then what? Edward, you lied to me. That's what I care about. That's why I'm mad. You told me you'd never done anything like that before, and I believed you. I was so happy because you hadn't done anything I hadn't, and that meant I wouldn't be wholly and completely inadequate like I am in every other possible way to you and…"
She tried desperately to keep up her façade of anger, but she felt the traitorous tears building up behind her eyes. She blinked them back, but they blurred her vision and stung her eyes. And the reality of it all hurt. A lot.
a/n: Ouch.
But I have a question for you. How mad would you be at Edward? Did he really lie to Bella, or is she just overreacting at the moment? I mean, yes, he did have sex (and frankly, I can't blame him. 100 years, no sex? C'mon…) But he did truly mean it when he told Bella that he'd never done anything like that before. After all, he had never dreamed of anything like Bella.
So, will she understand? Was he lying? I don't think he thinks he was, but will that satisfy Bella?
We still have a party coming up.
Reviews rock my stress-filled world (and make me feel a bit better about cracking a little hole in Bella's perfect one…)
Violet.