A/N: Sorry this is late. It ended up being an extra busy weekend. I do have to give advanced warning that I probably won't be able to post next weekend. I'll be up at camp all weekend, which I'm completely excited about, but it won't be the best atmosphere for getting the chapter up.
Songs used in this chapter are Words by Hawk Nelson and Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Julie Garland.
"That was better than I thought it would be." Kurt admitted, taking Blaine's hand into his own as they walked into an ice cream shoppe, one that Blaine had recommended (for its old fashioned scoops of ice cream and large variety of flavors).
"That's why I made sure to build up low expectations for you." Blaine teased leaning over to press a kiss to Kurt's cheek. "That way you couldn't help but be amazed by how good they actually were."
"Oh, sure. But really, some of those kids have actual talent. Some of them on the other hand, well, at least they had fun, but I hope a lot of them stick with it. The girl that played the lead? I swear she could be a mini version of my friend Rachel."
"Oh Lord. I hope Rachel is rather less high strung than Maria." Blaine said in an overly dramatic tone of his own.
Kurt broke out in laughter. "Probably not. I love Rachel, but she can be an acquired taste. You'll see for yourself when I lure her away from Broadway for a visit to the beach."
"Is this the woman that used to be your roommate in New York?" Blaine asked, trying to fill in the gaps.
"One and the same. I'm sure Mike and Tina could tell you any number of Rachel stories. She was yet another member of our New Directions crew. Our lead singer." Kurt glanced up to the menu, looking over his ice cream choices.
Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. "Tiny thing with dark hair and a huge voice? I think I remember her from our research."
"It's still amazing to me to realize that we once stood on the same stage together, but yet it took another ten years for us to meet." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand turning to look over at him. "Part of me wishes that we had met each other then, but part of me thinks this is perfect, so why mess it up?"
Blaine leaned in to press a quick kiss to Kurt's lips at that. "Perfect, huh? I can accept that description of this tangled mess of a summer I've had." As the family ahead of them stepped aside, cones in hand, Blaine moved up to the ice cream scooper. "Hmmm. Can I have a cone with two scoops of cookie dough? What do you want Kurt?"
Ice cream was acquired, and they settled into a table out on the patio under a string of tiny lanterns. "I suppose it will be easier to watch you eat that ice cream cone now that I'm allowed to fantasize about all the mental images it brings up." Kurt teased.
Blaine flushed, glancing down at his cone. "I'm not sure whether to play that up now or to feel horribly self conscious."
"Just enjoy as normal. I'll sit over here thinking happy thoughts." Kurt joked.
"You do that." Blaine licked self consciously at his treat. "I did have another proposition for you."
"Now that combined with the ice cream is really going to make my thoughts go in an interesting direction." Kurt grinned over in enjoyment at making Blaine blush.
"Oh God. I totally didn't think of that connotation." Blaine admitted. "I think I'm bad at this whole physical flirting thing. Of maybe this flirting thing in general."
"Or really unintentionally good." Kurt retorted before he asked, "So what was your proposition for me?"
"At the beginning of the summer, I made a reservation for a hotel room in San Diego. I was planning to go down for the weekend just to relax by myself on the beach right before school started back up."
"Well, that plan's not going to work quite as well, is it?" Kurt dug his spoon into his dish of ice cream.
"Peace and quiet? Relaxing by myself on the beach? Yeah. That's not really in the cards right now." Blaine darted his tongue out to keep a melting bit from running down the side of the cone. "I still want to go though, even if it might be crazy. If it goes really badly, then I can pack Julian back in the car and drive home. It's not all that far."
"True. It's not as if you'd be flying to the other side of the country with him. Planning to help him get his first sun tan?"
"Hah hah. No. I am planning to stock up on baby sunscreen. I was thinking about taking him on his first zoo trip though. Every four month old needs to see the pandas, right?" Blaine bit his bottom lip as he looked over to Kurt. "It's going to be a short trip, just a weekend, but I was hoping… Will you come with us?"
"You want me to go off on vacation with you?" Kurt asked over in surprise.
"It's just two nights." Blaine said before he shrugged. "Plus we'd have a built in chaperone in having Julian along." He hesitated for a second. "I know this is a big step, spending a whole weekend together, but I really would love to get away and just be us. Well, us and the baby."
"Text me the dates, and I'll see if I can wiggle into getting out early that Friday." Kurt decided after just a moment's hesitation. "I do want to spend time with you, though. I promise. San Diego isn't that long of a drive, right? So if I can't get time off, maybe I can come down on Friday night or Saturday morning?"
Getting the time off had proven to be fairly easy, especially since they had ended up deciding to leave at noon on Friday. Marjorie had simply waggled her eyebrows in a way that reminded Kurt again of Santana and told him that she expected details upon his return. That Friday afternoon had turned out to be perfect on their filming schedule. It had been a light day as far as costumes went, dressing only some of the main cast. If it had been a day with fifty extras to costume, he was sure Marjorie's opinion on road trips would have been quite different.
The drive would be about two hours, if they hit traffic well, so they'd decided to take one car. Blaine had won out on the driving, since it would have been more of a pain than it was worth to transfer Julian's car seat into Kurt's car.
The baby had turned out, so far, to be a good traveler, falling asleep almost as soon as the car started to move. "I'm so glad he'd not one of those babies who scream as soon as you buckle him into a car seat." Blaine had noted.
The first half of the trip passed quickly. They left the music on low and talked about anything and everything that came to mind. Blaine marveled, once again, at how easy it was to talk to Kurt, without fear that the other man was going to truly judge him on anything Blaine said. Affectionately rolled eyes and teasing were just to be expected, but Blaine could easily accept those.
He hadn't even noticed that he'd started humming to fill a pleasant lull in conversation until Kurt piped in.
"What song is that? It's definitely not what's on the radio."
Blaine blinked over before he turned his gaze back onto the road ahead. "Oh. Just something I was practicing this morning. For church. It must have worked into way into my head. Sorry."
"No reason to apologize for making music." Kurt said before he added curiously. "What's it for?"
"Just Sunday service next weekend. Pastor Tom is planning to do a Back to School thing. I think the focus is going to be on how we treat outsiders around us. We don't have a problem that I know of with any of our youth being bullies themselves, but everywhere in life, especially in middle and high school, it can be easier just to walk away when you see someone else getting hurt. But how is that really Christ-like?" Blaine shrugged. This was the one area he was afraid to talk too much about, not wanting Kurt to get uncomfortable. "Anyway, I know he's planning a sermon related to how we should be supporting each other, even when we're afraid. On not letting fear turn us into the silent bystander of bullying and hatred."
"That sounds… That sounds like something I wish there had been people talking about when I was growing up." Kurt turned to look out the window at the cars passing by for a moment before he asked, "What are you singing for it?"
"It's an older song by a Christian band, so I doubt you know it. It's called Words." Blaine offered, glancing up into the rear view mirror to check on Julian, thankful yet again for the person who had thought of making a mirror to mount on the headrest of the sedan's rear seat, so that Blaine could see Julian's sleeping face as he drove.
Kurt reached over and shut off the car stereo before he ordered with a smile, "Sing it for me?"
"You sure?" Blaine asked, waiting for Kurt's nod before he started the song.
They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
Blaine finished the rest of the song as well before he darted a look over to Kurt, relaxing subconsciously at the smile on his boyfriend's face.
"I love listening to you sing." Kurt said simply.
"Which is good, because I tend to randomly break into song." Blaine joked.
"Ah. So you really star in your own real life musical?" Kurt teased right back.
"Exactly!" Blaine grinned out at the road. "A really awesome one."
"Uh huh. I'm sure it is." Kurt turned to stare out the window. "I honestly like a good chunk of that song. Not really hot on the religious connotations, but I get the point about how much words can affect us. That sounds like a good fit for the service you're talking about."
"Thank you. I'm glad to have your approval." Blaine said lightly before his tone got more serious. "I understand the song. There are words that I can never get out of my head. For good and for ill. And I think about it as a teacher. Am I saying things in a way that will break a student down or in a way that will build them up and challenge them when they need it."
"I haven't told you too much about why I stopped auditioning for Broadway roles, have I?"
Blaine shook his head. "I don't think so. Did something happen?" He let the concern show through in his tone.
"It wasn't just one event. It wasn't even something I shouldn't have expected. I guess it goes back to high school. I was passed over for a lot of the roles and solos I thought should be mine because I was 'too gay'." Kurt shook his head. "It hurt. Music and theater were the only spots I felt like I fit in at all, and even there who I was wasn't good enough."
"That had to suck." Blaine commiserated, eyes still on the road.
"It did. I thought I was past it when I finally started at NYADA, and there, everything was fine. There were things I excelled in and things that didn't come as easily, but overall? I think I did pretty well." Kurt glanced over to Blaine quickly before he turned to look back out at the scenery out the car window. "I started auditioning for Broadway roles when I was a sophomore, starting with auditions for company type roles. Small roles. The kind you pay your dues in. All in all, I was probably auditioning for more than five years. I did get a few tiny background roles, but I had so many more horrible auditions. I had to stop after awhile, because I realized that I'd started to see myself as the person the directors said I was, in all the worst ways. I couldn't take the constant negative feedback I was getting. It was really bringing me back to the kind of low, negative place I'd been in high school. I know people who could stand up there for horrid audition after horrid audition and push through. I wish I was that strong."
Blaine gave Kurt a quick look. "Sometimes it takes just as much strength to be able to walk away."
"Thank you. I don't know that I agree, not in this situation, but thank you." Kurt met Blaine's eyes before the other had to turn back to his attempts not to get in an accident. "Anyway, I do really love what I'm doing now. It ended up being a choice between what I could actually find success with and what was dragging me under."
"I'm selfishly glad you made the choice you did. If you were still in New York auditioning for roles, I would never have met you. I wouldn't be driving down to a hotel with a squint or you'll miss it view of the beach with you." Blaine flushed with a bit of embarrassment, afraid that he was stepping too far out on a limb. "I know we haven't been together long, but I can't imagine my world anymore without you in it."
"Me, either." Kurt blinked for a moment before he laughed, breaking some of the tension. "I suppose it would be really hard for me to imagine a world without myself in it. Wouldn't have a brain to do so. I meant that I can't imagine my life without you beside me. You and Julian. Somehow the little boy has already wormed his way into my thoughts, no matter how much I might try to deny it."
After they checked into the hotel, and changed into attire that Kurt deemed appropriate, they made their way to a public beach nearby.
"If nothing else, this whole trip'll be a good chance to try out this baby carrier." Blaine had commented.
"You're becoming such a baby things nerd." Kurt had replied affectionately. "It's like you've been given a whole new world of toys to play with."
"Exactly!" Blaine had grinned over as he snapped on the carrier, blowing a raspberry into Julian's stomach to get a flurry of giggles out of the baby before he settled him in.
A short walk later and they had found both sand and sea. Kurt settled a blanket out over the sand before setting Julian's diaper bag and his own beach bag on it. "Did you put a fresh coat of sunscreen on Julian before we left the hotel?" He asked, reaching to grab his own from his bag, rubbing it into the few parts of him exposed to the sun in his long sleeved rashguard and matching plaid board shorts.
Blaine kicked off his flip flops and sank down to sit on the blanket. "Of course I did. I lathered him up before I put him into the world's tiniest swimsuit."
"For all the swimming he'll be doing?" Kurt asked with amusement.
"Why not?" Blaine teased before he just grinned. "Or more like the small bits of water he'll feel as I'm holding him."
"Which still sounds like a big adventure for such a little guy." Kurt noted, peeking back at Julian who was watching him from inside the carrier. "He seems to like that thing."
"If that's what the absence of screaming means in a baby, yeah, I think so." Blaine glanced out toward the water. "Would you mind watching him so that I can go take enough of a dip to cool off?"
Kurt capped the sunscreen and stowed it back in his bag. "Pass him over." Kurt marveled at how quickly his attitude toward the baby had changed. He was no longer afraid to hold the infant, for one thing.
Blaine watched Kurt settle Julian down into his lap, reaching forward to dig in his beach bag for something to read. Blaine couldn't keep a fond smile off his face. There was just something about seeing his boyfriend with his nephew, no with his son, that just made Blaine's heart melt into a puddle of goo.
He forced himself to stop staring and shucked the carrier and his shirt, leaving himself in just a pair of boardshorts hanging low on his hips. He turned to stow his shirt in Julian's diaper bag and just had to grab for his phone to snap a couple of pictures of Kurt, who had started to read aloud to Julian from the latest issue of Vogue.
Julian seemed to be fairly into it, sucking on one hand as he kept turning his gaze between watching Kurt's face and the magazine, held just out of reach of tiny grasping fingers.
Kurt looked up from the magazine in time to see Blaine run out into the waves. He let the magazine fall onto his lap, content to watch this new bit of entertainment for the time being. It was turning out to be worth the risk of sunburn or freckling to watch his boyfriend playing in the waves with his shirt off. They'd been taking things slowly, a lot more slowly than Kurt had in his last few relationships, so this was about the most skin he'd ever seen Blaine show.
Maybe it was the result of bad experiences with football players and other jocks in high school, but Kurt had quickly grown out of being super attracted to muscle bound jocks, if he ever had been. Blaine? His build was perfect, in Kurt's eyes. Fit. In shape, with maybe a bit of softness around the middle, but not looking like he spent his whole life in a gym. Real.
"Your uncle is hot, and I don't know if he even realizes it." Kurt told the baby in his lap, flashing a grin at Blaine when the other man caught him looking.
An hour or so later, Blaine had taken his son back, holding the baby against his wet chest. "I know we probably can't stay too much longer. It's almost time for Julian to take a nap before dinner, but I want to take him down to the water. See if he likes it."
Kurt shook his head with amusement, tucking his magazine back into his bag. "I'm sure he'll be thrilled by it. Just don't let him drown. Something tells me that his social worker would frown upon that."
Blaine just rolled his eyes in response, before he changed tactics and stuck his tongue out, getting a laugh out of Kurt. "We'll have a good time in the water, won't we, Julian?"
In the water didn't turn out to be so literal. After a moment's contemplation, Blaine sank down into the damp sand where the waves just barely reached, settling Julian between his legs.
After initial surprise at the light kiss of water from the gentle waves, Julian was delighted by them. He let out a full on belly laugh as he clapped his hands in front of him. Blaine shared a huge smile with Kurt. There was no way to be anything but happy when the baby did that.
Kurt stepped out into the water, finally letting his legs and shorts get wet, so that he could snap pictures of Julian and of Blaine and Julian, as the baby leaned down to slap his hands into the water, still full stop giggling.
"Alright. This picture might make the whole weekend worth it." Kurt decided, making a mental note to send it to Carole later. She would have a great time cooing over Julian's, and Blaine's, cuteness with him.
After Julian's nap, and time for Kurt and Blaine to shower and change, the trio had ventured out into the Gaslight Quarter with Julian chilling out in his stroller. They stopped for dinner at a more upscale burger place and then wandered the streets until a tired baby started fussing.
Kurt had ducked into the bathroom to change while Blaine got Julian put to bed in the portable crib the hotel had provided, unsure of how far he should push the physical boundaries of their relationship. There were so many things that he wanted to do with, and to, Blaine, but he didn't want to rush into it. So many of Kurt's recent relationships had ended up being rooted in the physical. He wanted all that with Blaine, but he really wanted more. If things went the way Kurt secretly hoped they would, he'd have the whole rest of his life to explore Blaine's body. He could be patient.
Kurt's evening skin care ritual had been greatly simplified since high school, especially when he was on the road, but he still took the time to scrub his face clean and apply moisturizer, even though he'd showered off the sunscreen when they'd gotten back from the beach. A smile spread across Kurt's face as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Blaine was singing again, softly this time. He strained his ears to hear the song.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Kurt listened a moment longer before he collected his toiletry kit as quietly as possible, inching the door open to step back into the hotel room. He took full advantage of the opportunity to watch Blaine sing to his nephew.
Blaine had changed Julian into a little footie sleeper in a dinosaur print, and he currently had the little boy cradled in his arms as he rocked back and forth on his toes.
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why, can't I?
Blaine let his voice trail off as the baby's eyes fluttered closed. He moved carefully transfer Julian into the crib, doing his very best not to wake the baby. "Please God let this work." Blaine whispered. "I've been rocking him to sleep every night the last few weeks. I suddenly found myself not sure how to get him to stop fussing and settle down."
Kurt leaned back against the frame of the bathroom door. "I think that I would settle down just as well if you sang to me like that." He teased in a soft tone.
"I'll have to remember that." Blaine commented, watching Julian for a few more seconds before he turned to his suitcase to collect his own pajamas. "My turn in the bathroom?"
While Blaine got ready in the next room, Kurt settled into one of the two queen beds, crawling beneath the comforter, pulling out his Nook to read. It wasn't that much longer that Blaine emerged, pausing to check in on the baby before he turned giving an awkward look between the two beds. "So…"
Kurt looked over at Blaine for a moment before he pushed back the top of the covers. "Come share with me?"
Blaine simply nodded. "Okay." He took the invited spot, rolling onto his side so that he faced Kurt. "I swear I didn't invite you along just so I could get you to sleep with me." He flushed a deep red. "I mean, sleep in the same bed as me."
"Well, I'd hope that's all you meant." Kurt continued quickly at the crestfallen look on Blaine's face. "I mean, the first time I sleep with you, I want to be able to take our time. And I certainly don't want to have Julian in the same room. That's quite creepy, even if he's asleep."
Blaine's smile returned at that, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Kurt's lips. "I'm glad we're in full agreement on that." He noted before he admitted, "I invited you here because I wanted to have you all to myself. Man, that sounds really selfish when I say it out loud. I don't really think Julian's going to get anything out of the weekend. He's way too young for this to do anything but throw him off his schedule, but I wanted the time with both of you and nothing beyond what we choose to do as a distraction. No matter how much time we spend together, I can never get enough of having you with me."
Kurt moved closer, cuddling up to Blaine with his leg up over the other man's. "If that's selfish, then I'm just as bad since I agreed for the same reason." Kurt leaned forward that little bit to kiss Blaine. "I'm happy to take this at whatever speed you want to, physically. I'm alright with not rushing things. I don't want this to fall into the same trap my last few relationships have, where there's a lot there in the bedroom and not as much everywhere else. I want a real relationship with you in all senses of the word."
"I would never want anything else." Blaine responded, pulling his hand up to cover a yawn. "I guess only one big question remains." He said dramatically before he just grinned at Kurt's confused and worried look. "Who gets to be the little spoon?"