hi guys. been a while.

"Hey!" I pant, out of breath from sprinting across half the soccer field to catch up with Cam. "I called your name like four times. Didn't you hear me?"

"Oh," Cam blinks his multicoloured eyes at me. "Sorry. Guess not."

"What's up?" I put my hands on my hips, trying not to appear as winded as I actually am. Guess I need to get in better shape. Wheezing is not cute and-

Wait. I don't need to appear cute in front of Cam. I have a boyfriend again. And Cam's just the best friend.

The best friend who I haven't seen in like four days. Derrick said he was sick, which I guess could be true, since I had to teach canoeing alone (not an easy task, trust me). But looking at Cam now with his tanned skin, bangs gelled up perfectly and sparkly eyes, he looks like the picture of health.

"Just off to grab some lunch. Derrick took all the campers for a hike during freetime, guess they're not back yet."

"Mind if I join you? My campers are tanning with Claire."

"Sure," Cam chuckles as we proceed walking to the Dining Hall. "God, your campers are going to be just like you and Claire. Have to say, I am not excited to see those girls when they're seventeen."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I elbow him in the ribs.

"We can barely handle you and Claire, can you imagine a bunch of mini Massies and Claires running around here?"

I giggle and reach for a bottle of water. "So. Thought anymore about where you're going to go next month?"

Cam shrugs. "No idea. I've gotta decide and let my mom know soon though. There's only three weeks of this summer left and then when I get home I have to pack and then...leave. What about you?"

"Yale," I trace my finger in an arc on the table we're sitting at.

"Don't sound too excited," Cam jokes and raises his golden eyebrows.

"I am," I say. "I am excited," I say again, trying to sound a little more upbeat and convincing.

And I am excited. Yale's a great school and I've always wanted to live in New England. And me and Derrick will be there together.

Cam nods, clearly not believing me. "Yale's a good school. My brother went there for half a year."

"Can't be that great if he only was there for half the year," I grin. "What happened the rest of the year?"

"He dropped school all together. Backpacked all around Asia. I guess that's why I want to do it -Harris came back with all these crazy stories and amazing finds. I want to do that. Have something cool to tell my kids one day, you know?"

I nod. That all makes perfect sense -and makes me a little wistful too. What will I tell my kids one day? 'I met your dad at camp before going to Yale with him and getting a degree in law'? Not exciting at all. "Backpacking around Asia would be a lot of fun."

Cam shrugs. "If I go, it won't be backpacking around Asia. That was Harris' adventure. And walking all that way would probably kill me. I want to just take a train all around Europe. Stop in little cafes or outdoor markets. Corny, I know."

I grin. "That's not corny! I used to want to do that when I was younger. I'd come home with a bunch of cute European clothes, and probably sixteen pounds fatter from all the pastries and chocolates. But I just felt like it was something I had to do before I died."

"Come with me," Cam forces a laugh. I know he's trying to make it seem like he's joking, but there's definitely a serious undertone in there.

"I'll meet you in Europe," I smile. "Gotta finish half a year at Yale first."

We both laugh, just as Derrick enters the DH, slightly sweaty and surrounded by his campers.

"Hey," he smiles at me, somewhat out of breath. I inwardly sigh -it's that smile I love so much.

"Hi," I smile back. "How was the hike?"

"Great, we saw some snakes, hey guys?"

His campers grin and nod, quickly enveloping Cam and telling him all about the snakes.

"Let's go for a walk," Derrick says to me.

"You just came back from one," I tell him, standing up so he can have my chair. "We'll go for one later -I've got to help C with the campers anyway."

"Oh," Derrick's shoulders slump. "'Kay. Love you."

"Love you too," I murmur before turning and disappearing out of the DH.

"Derrick," I mumble, leaning against his strong chest.

It's later that night during freetime, and we're sitting on my porch, watching the sunset. The moment would be totally perfect if it didn't feel so...deja vu.

"Mmm?" Derrick murmurs, his eyes closed. His long dark lashes rest lightly on his cheekbones. Lashes that are completely wasted on a boy -they're perfect.

"Do you ever feel like..." I trail off, unsure of what I'm trying to say.

"Feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world for getting to spend my time with you?" his arms tighten around me. "Yeah, I feel like that all the time."

Aweeeh. Okay, that was really really sweet. And it melts away anything I'd been feeling.

"Really though," he said. "Do I ever feel like what?"

I hesitate. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"I wish I was tanned," I hear Dylan murmur beside Olivia. The four of us are spread out on the beach during General Swim, hoping to get just a little more brown before the summer's over.

Well, Olivia, Claire and I are. Dylan's still pasty as ever, and with her SPF 85 sunscreen, I doubt she'll be getting a tan.

"Hah, you have two weeks left to try," I tell her. "I can't believe there's only two weeks of camp left."

"I knoow," Olivia sighs. "So I'm assuming you've finally chosen a college? Deadlines were like...last week."

"I called my mom," I say. "Yale it is, with Derrick."

"Aweeh," Olivia cooes, a smile on her face.

"I have to pee," I announce and stand up. "Be back."

Instead of going to the bathrooms, I throw on my shorts and a tank top and search for Cam, since I haven't seen him for a few days.

I find him alone in the Counselor Room's kitchen, drinking what smells like vodka. "Are you drinking?" I ask, shocked. "Cam, it's eleven-thirty!"

"It's five o'clock somewhere," he chuckles. "And it's one drink."

"Pour me one," I sigh. "My best friend isn't spending his day drinking alone. But just one."

An hour and four and a half Smirnoff and Cokes later, I was happily buzzed and somehow Cam was still fully sober.

"How is your world not spinning?" I ask him, over-enunciating as to not sound as tipsy as I feel. "You've had more to drink than me."

"I'm not a lightweight," he chuckles. "I can hold my own while drinking, unlike someone."

"I can hold my own," I slur. "I can hold my own," I say again, trying to sound more confident and more sober.

"'Course ya can, Mass," Cam chuckles again. "So much for one drink, huh?"

"Will you kiss me?" I ask.

Maybe it's all the alcohol in my blood, or the pleasant haze around my brain, but something causes a surge of boldness to bounce through me.

"No," Cam says firmly. "The last time that I..I kissed you, look what happened. Your boyfriend found out and dumped you, and you got all mopey and depressing. I don't want you to go through that again."

"Kiss me," I insist. "It'll be a...a test! Yeah, a test. To see if I'm over you."

Cam looks pained, but I'm too drunk to register why. "Don't you get it, Mass?" he asks, keeping his multicoloured eyes trained on the ground, avoiding me. "It may just be some silly little test to you, but I know I'm not over you. And kissing you...that would kill me. Hell, Massie, just standing beside you and not being able to put my arm around you or anything, that kills me."

I'm silent for a second, trying to process it all. Had Cam just...admitted he had feelings for me? Dylan, Olivia and Claire had been right all along then.

"Kiss me," I say again, suddenly sober. "I'm serious, Cam."

Cam sighs, like it's killing him, but then he leans across the table and presses his lips to mine.