A/N: This chapter has some gory scenes, but that's hard to avoid in the Games. You can skip over those parts if you want, but please don't forget to review! Really, it means a lot.
Osten warned me to make myself useful, and that's exactly what I plan on doing. I won't give them any reason to kill me. The second we get back to the Cornucopia, I offer to sort through the weapons and packs. Kai offers me help, but I explain to him that it is in my best interest to do it myself.
Digging through the neon packs isn't exactly relaxing, but it does help to focus on something besides the situation I'm in. Keeping my mind occupied is safer than reliving the images of the bloodbath. I carefully make separate piles for food and survival materials. There's quite a bit of food, but I suspect it won't be able to support all five of us for any longer than a few days. Most of it is snack food; not the filling meals served in the Capitol.
"I can head over to the lake to fish. We have a good bit of rope and I'm sure I could make a hook out of something," I say helpfully.
"Are you sure you won't run away again?" Osten sneers.
"We're a team now," Kai interrupts. "It won't happen again. Careers to the end, remember?"
"Yeah, okay," Osten replies. "But I think the fish can wait." He then looks over to me. "Why don't you make some of those net traps you showed us at training?"
"No, what we really need is something to cool us off! I would rather snow over this," Kim announces while fanning herself dramatically. Even though it is getting darker by the minute, it is still very hot. It doesn't bother me too much because I am used to it. I've never even seen snow, nor can I recall a time when the temperature dipped below freezing. However, the heat is enough to make my thirsty.
"Then we should still head to the lake," I say. Then I hesitate because I'm not in the position to be giving orders right now.
We talk it over for a minute and decide that Blade and I will head to the lake to get water. Then I am to come back and start working on net traps. I don't dare disagree.
I know that I wasn't allowed to go with Kai because Osten is paranoid we will desert, but I'm thankful that it's Blade I'm going with. He's quiet, but I trust him more than Osten and Kim. I can walk beside him without fearing he will send a spear through my body at any second.
It takes about fifteen minutes of walking to reach the lake. Just as we are stepping out of the high grass and onto the hard packed dirt that surrounds the water, the sky lights up and the Capitol anthem starts to play. Now we can see who didn't survive the day.
The first face to appear in the sky is the boy from Three, which means Crystal is still alive somewhere in the night. I can't help but feel relieved, even though her survival is not my responsibility. Next to appear is the girl from Five, followed by the boy from Six. Districts Eight, Nine, and Eleven also lose one tribute. Ten and Twelve lose both. Some pictures make me cringe because I remember seeing their deaths when I was too worried about Kai to move. I wonder how many of them my allies killed. Even Kai must have some blood on his hands. I don't want to think of my younger cousin as a murderer.
Blade probably killed some of them, but he does not boast like Osten or Kim would. Instead, he sighs and walks closer to the lake, dipping his legs in when he reaches it. The darkness has transformed the lake into a pool of black that glistens white in some spots from the reflection of the moon. I plop down next to Blade and stick my legs in to find it is delightfully cool. Part of me is worried about what dangers might be in the water, but sometimes it's not good to be overly cautious in the Games. The cool water is so inviting that I can't help but dive in.
When I'm underwater, I'm in a different world. The Hunger Games do not exist. Neither does Panem. My senses are blocked and all that exists is a chilly dark dimension where people float instead of walk. It reminds me so much of home that I am genuinely distressed when I am forced to resurface to the other world where I'm in the middle of a televised fight to the death. I see the moonlight reflect off of Blade's face. He is watching me skeptically.
"How did you go without breathing for that long? I was sure you had drowned."
It's true that I stayed under longer than I probably should have. My lungs feel like they are on fire and I am still gasping for air. "I've been holding my breath underwater for my whole life," I reply breathlessly.
"Oh," he says. "I wish I could swim. The water feels so nice."
I smile and splash him before climbing out. He doesn't protest because we both know it feels good. "Let's get some water," I say.
We both brought packs filled with several empty containers. I scoop water into them and Blade puts in the purifying drops. After we have filled all the containers, I pull out the grass bag I had made earlier today and scoop water into it. It is so heavily reinforced that no water leaks out of it. Blade seems impressed. I really want to fish in the lake, but I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Finding the way back to the Cornucopia is easy even in the dark because we left a trail of trampled grass. When we reach the camp, I notice the other three members of our alliance have spread out sleeping bags on the high grass. They kind of just sit on top of the grass like a piece of driftwood floating in the ocean until someone puts weight on them. Then they sink down and leave a four-walled grass enclosure around them. We use weapons and our feet to crush down the annoying grass around us so we can keep an eye on each other in the night.
For the next few hours, I craft full sized nets and rope traps as the others discuss tomorrow's plans. They basically involve hunting down Crystal and killing anyone else we stumble upon or trap. It's better for me to block them out and focus on the knots than participate in the conversation. After a while, it is time to turn in for the night.
"I'll take first watch!" Osten declares. "We need to keep an eye on the lake."
We all agree, and I lay down on top my sleeping bag next to Kai. It is too hot to get in between the layers. Even though I always sleep on my back at home, I curl into a position where I am half on my side and half on my stomach. I pull my hair out of the messy braided ponytail Lilith put it is this morning and let it fall over my face. Now I can keep watch from behind my hair. There's no way I'm letting my guard down with Osten or Kim on watch.
I don't even think I could fall completely asleep if I tried. This doesn't seem to be a problem for Kai, though. It's only been a few minutes, and through my hair, I can see his eyes are shut and he is snoring slightly. I spend most of the night in a state between consciousness and sleep. Sometimes I see the beginnings of a dream shift around before my eyes, but the slightest noise calls me back. It isn't until I hear Kai get up to keep watch that I let sleep take over. By then, I wish I hadn't. I should have known I would be subjected to nightmares.
It's easy enough to stay awake during my watch. I resume to the half asleep, half spying set-up when it's Kim's turn. I must drift into a light sleep at some point because I jump awake when Kim shakes me urgently.
"There's someone headed for the lake!" she announces excitedly. Dawn is approaching, and the sky is just light enough to see the gleam in her eyes.
The others rise awake tiredly, rubbing their eyes and grabbing blindly for weapons. Osten stares at the shadowy figure in the distance, then a smile appears on his face.
"Let's go! Mags, you grab the traps you made last night. We'll set them up after the kill," he says hurriedly.
I comply, and the five of us move quickly but inconspicuously through the tall grass. The figure starts to become clearer, and I can see it's a boy, and a young one at that. He looks very weak, and he's completely disregarding his surroundings. He's dragging himself to the lake like it's life itself. I guess he must be dehydrated.
He's reached the lake when Osten breaks out into a run. The rest of us follow suit. I'm a little slower because my hands are full of ropes and nets that keep falling down around my feet when I run, causing me to trip. Kai tries to stay at the same pace as me. When we reach the lake, Osten and Kim are already harassing the boy and pointing weapons to his chest. I recognize him to be the twelve year old from Seven. He's so tiny and weak and it feels so wrong to be ganging up on him. I gasp and drop the nets when Osten punctures him with a spear. Kim follows right behind by slashing a sword through him. They purposely hit him in non-fatal areas to make him suffer.
I want to yell at them to stop torturing the kid when someone else does it for me. Well, not exactly. Nevertheless, the high pitched scream coming from the edge of the trees is enough to distract them.
"It might be your district partner!" Kim cries to Osten, and suddenly the unidentified girl becomes top priority.
"Finish the boy off, Mags!" Osten cries, already taking off. Kai hesitates by me, but then Osten calls for him to bring the other spear and he's gone.
I stare sympathetically at the boy who's cut up on the ground, his eyes wide with terror. Is there even a point in finishing him off? He's going to die any minute now already. I kneel down in the pool of blood beside him and smooth back his hair.
"Shh…it's okay. Wherever you're headed, it's less painful than here," I coo. "The nightmare's ending."
Fear is gone from his expression, but pain is still there. He looks like he's holding onto my words. His face shifts a bit and he tries to say something, only to cough up blood. Determined, he mouths the words to me. Please, end it.
I wince, but I know what I have to do. It was never my intention to take lives, but his is already running out. All I'm doing is ending the pain. I close my eyes and push my knife through his small frame. The boy's canon fires. He's in a better place now.
Still, I feel horrible and weak. I hear two screams in the distance. One belongs to the girl who screamed earlier. The other belongs to a male. Suddenly, I jump to my feet, collect the nets, and tear off running full speed to the trees. Another canon fires.
Small shrieks are coming from my throat and I can feel anxiety taking over. Please don't let it be Kai. I don't think that was his scream, but it's hard to tell. Please please please please.
I burst into the trees and am met with a gory sight that has me feeling faint. The girl from Six, the same one who almost hit me with a hatchet yesterday, is dead on the ground, barely recognizable. Kai is on the ground, too, and it takes my brain a minute to register that he is not the one with the fatal wound. He is crouched down next to Blade, whose arm is nearly detached and bleeding profusely. A mace lies on the ground next to him. I want to close my eyes and run away because I know I will never be able to unsee what I'm looking at now.
Osten and Kim are in some kind of argument. "We can't just leave him here to die!" Kim screeches.
"Yes we can! Alliances mean we don't kill each other. We have no obligation to save him! All but one of us has to die anyway!" he screams back.
I feel like I have the gist of the argument, and it's making me mad. "It might not be too late to save him!," I yell at Osten. "We have sponsors, and even if we can't help him, the very least we can do is stay with him as he dies!" I'm surprised at how venomous my voice sounds.
Osten's voice is even more venomous when he relies. "You'd better watch your mouth, Four, unless you want me to detach your arm." In a fit of rage, he throws his spear against a tree and screams. "Fine! You can stay with him, but I'm going back to camp. Hopefully it will teach you that the Hunger Games is no place to save people! All of you need to grow up!" he shouts, walking off.
Just as he walks away, a silver parachute drops down. Kai jumps up and catches it. As soon as he does, Kim tears it out his hands and dumps the contents on the ground. It looks like some kind of wrap and a metal stick. Accompanied by it are morphling tablets.
"What the hell is this?" Kim screams and throws it to the side.
"I think it's a tourniquet!" I say urgently. "We can save him!" I look over to Blade, and he's moaning in pain. It's painful to watch.
Kim grips me by the shoulders and looks at me desperately. "You can do the tourniquet and stop the blood flow!" she exclaims. Her eyes are shiny, like there are tears fighting to escape
My face hardens. "I…I've never done one before. I don't know if I can do it."
She digs her fingernails into my shoulders and starts shaking me violently. "No, you're going to do it! Try to get out of it and I'll kill you! I'll kill you right here, in front of your cousin!"
I know she's acting like this because she's desperate, but her threat is very real and I'm terrified. What puzzles me is why Blade's life means so much to her. I didn't think she would care much.
Kai looks over to her and snaps, "Shut up, Kim! Maybe she would do it if you would help her!"
"Let's all do it," I say, and my voice is helplessly shaky.
We move over to Blade and begin the daunting task. Kai is being too rough with the arm, so I tell him to give Blade the morphling. I know how powerful the drug is, and Blade is still screaming in pain.
Our hands are coated in hot blood by the time we make a passable tourniquet. I'm scared that it won't be enough, or that we did it wrong. At least most of the blood flow is cut off. Blade has passed out in the meantime. I'm so nauseous that I lean over and throw up into the grass. Even Kai, who is much braver than me, is shaking.
I'm surprised to see silent tears falling down Kim's face. She rubs them away and blinks over and over again to stop the tears from flowing. I rest my hand on her knee.
"You did a good thing. Whether Blade makes it or not, he knows you cared enough to try. That means a lot to him and his family."
She pushes my hand away. "I don't need your sympathy, Four," she says angrily. A few minutes pass before she whispers, "He's from home. We went to career training together. He's worked too hard for this to die on the second day of the Games."
Kai and I nod sadly. I don't want to see Blade die, either. He's a good kid who got mixed up in this mess.
"Should we try to move him?" Kai asks.
"Not yet," I say, mostly because I'm scared the blood will start flowing freely again. I look over to the nets I dropped when I got here. "What about the traps?"
"I'll put them up," Kim volunteers. I suspect it's just because she doesn't want to look vulnerable in front of us.
Kai and I huddle together by Blade as we wait for her. I wonder what Alec thinks of all of this. I wish I could talk to him and ask for advice because I feel helpless. What about my family? Or they proud or ashamed of us?
There's nothing I want more than to go home right now. I don't know if I will ever make it back, but there is one thing I absolutely know for sure.
Today's horrific images will be in my mind for the rest of my life, regardless of how long that may be.