Two of the Same Kind Chapter 9
Yes. I was having such a wonderful time, Marik was behaving, Seto was behaving, I was having a nice conversation with Jou...Okay, I just lied about everything but the conversation with Jou part. Seto and Marik, who were sitting across from each other, by some stroke of misfortune, were glowering at each other. And no matter how much I tried, I could not get Marik to break his grip on the knife. I'm telling you, they shouldn't let people have those...Especially Marik-like people. That's a death wish in itself.
"Come on, will you two stop with the angry glares?" Jou smiled nervousely. Can't say that I blame him.
"No...I'm fine thank you." Seto spoke as if he didn't even hear the words his lover said, which, knowing Seto, was the case.
"God, you two are being so immature...If you two don't behave I WILL separate you!" I spoke taking the knife from Marik after he loosened his grip from my smacking him.
"He started it." Marik growled.
"Well, I'm finishing it! Do you hear me! You too Seto. I'm not kidding. You're making asses out of yourself...And MORE importantly, me and Jou." I spoke momentarily feeling what it must be like to be a mother. Damn it all to hell if I should ever have kids...Well, that won't happen anyways...You won't catch me with a girl. Don't tell anyone I said that. I try to keep the illusion that I'm at least Bisexual. Because you know what they say nowadays...'Bi is the new straight'.
Okay, maybe that was a little bit open...But what the hell? You're reading this of your own free will. It's not like I've duct taped you to a chair and forced you to either suffer reading it or watch Anzu dance...Though I bet you like me to do that wouldn't you? You sick, sick, people...I'm slightly turned on...
...Just kidding.
"You know Bakura, if you were anyone else, I'd have called my retaliations department on you."
"I'm telling you Seto, if I get shot by your goons, I'm going to haunt your ass for eternity. And then i'll be sure to make my prescence noticed in your afterlife too."
"Like I said, you're not 'anyoneelse'." Seto humphed knowing that I was being true to my word. You can always tell when I'm lying. If I'm saying something evil...it's true. If it's nice and sugar coated...well no shit I'm lying. Nice things are for people like Anzu...who WILL get hit by a bus one day. A short bus...that I will be behind the wheel of. -Insert evil cackling-
I should also mention that Seto did remove his briecase/suitcase/place to hide body parts/whatever you call it, from the table. And we got a new table cloth...Of course they wouldn't let us have another candle...bastards...That's descrimination!
I resisted the urge to just walk out. This was not what I would call a nice fun date that made me so impressed that I wanted to run away and elope with Marik. Not that I would ever do that. Marik's...Marik...
eekSquay! ...Don't ask...Just don't...I learned a nice new, not actually REAL, language called pig latin...Now I can cuss with out getting in trouble...UckFay! -iggleGay-...I'm not sure where that came from, but my A.D.D. decided to share that with you. But you're not complaining right? For the sake of the blade in my hand, just agree with me. Thank you.
Anyways...Before I oh so rudely interrupted myself...I got to fix that...I must have like mulitple brain syndrome...No I don't think that's real...But that would explain the constant talking to myself...I think...Or maybe I do it because it's fun...What do you think Bakura? Yes I agree. What? Can't you people see I'm talking to myself? Tch, normal people...
Okay! Grah! I will NOT interrupt myself again! Okay...Well, you see Jou and I were talking while Marik and Seto continued their childish male try at a show of dominancy. At that point nothing would get their attention. As I was going to proove.
"Hey Jou...Wanna go out on Saturday? You know just you and me?" Jou looked a me for a few moments before realizing what I was doing. So he, greatful for the entertainment, played along.
"Oh hell, let's just skip the dating and go elope!" I tried not to snicker as he leaned a bit closer.
No reply from either of them...Okay, time to up the fire power a little.
"Let's go to Seto's office and have sex on his desk, what do you say?" Jou grinned biting his lip, as a assumed a was holding back a bout of laughter, just as I was.
"Sure why not! Oh I'm sure he won't mind!"
No reply still...Hmm...Now it was time to bring out the big dogs.
"Jou..." I motioned with my hand what I wanted him to do and he grinned.
"Bakura..." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.
It was about the time he'd gotten his tongue in my mouth when Seto and Marik finally snapped out of their immature staring game. For a few seconds, the two stared at Jou and I's little make out session...Which was actually kind of nice. Jou's a good kisser at least. It was amazing they let it go as far as it had...considering we were all but throwing down on the table.
Seto and Marik pulled us apart at the same time. Jou put on a little pout, which was the same one I put on. The two looked as us as if to ask, 'whattheeffinghellonearth was that all about?'
Oh we're just evil...That's exactly why I like Jou. He likes to have his fun. Just like me. I could appreciate that. Most definately. Check out my short sentences. They're cool. Like Ernest Hemmingway...GASPSHOCKHORROROHMYEFFINGGODSOFRA! Yes. I know who Ernest Hemmingway is...He wrote 'Gone with the Wind' right? Just kidding...He wrote that book 'The old man and the sea'...How do I know that? I read the first two pages and set it on fire...I don't like to read. Hikari said it was a good book. Tch, book are for modern people...Modern people are like newbs in a chat room...Another wonderful thing my hikari has introduced to me.
Anyways...Don't know where all that came from, but you, by now, should expect it...and you know you like to hear the mindless things I babble about. Like that time I ate a pound of candle wax on a dare. That's mindless...Oh and don't do that, it's not good for you...for real...I'm serious.
"Well, we finally got your attentions." I huffed.
"Why did you pull us apart, he was just about to teach me that tongue thing!" Jou complained and I joined him in the evil snickering. He's a truely wicked little pup. I could just huggle him.
Yes, that's strange coming from me isn't it? Well, utShay Upay ouYay upidStay idiotay:translation:...nah nah! You don't get one: Nah...I don't mean that...I just wanted an excuse to say that. Okay, I'm done with the foreign speaking now...I promise...If you just caught that lie, then you've been paying attention to what you're reading. I'm proud of you...Now go jump in a lake for calling me a liar. Heh, I'm just kidding...Unless you're a hot guy wearing white...Then feel free to jump in that lake. While I take pictures of you while using the excuse the I'm a photographer just capturing the scene...
I'm not stalker material...Oh hell. I can't even TRY to lie about that...That just shot that would be paragraph to hell...
Seto could do nothing but glare at me, as if I did something wrong...Oh yeah. I just stuck my tongue down his lover's throat and vice-versa. Heh, whatSeto? We were only exchanging our trade secret techniques...what you don't believe me? Would this face ever lie? ...I hate you Seto...
Well, here comes the awkward silence...Nice good silnce...Where no one speaks... -crickets chirp- Yep silence... -tumble weed rolls by- ...Damn this is driving me nuts...
"God, shit, we only did it to get your attention!" I finally snapped.
"All you had to do was ask for it Kura.' Marik look at me and I resisted the urge to smack him up side his head...Oops...I didn't resist very well after all.
"Yeah right! Don't you think I tried that?" He said as he jerked back from my hand fwapping him on his head.
"So, that doesn't mean the two of you had to take it upon your self to make out!" Seto finally added.
"Well, gee Seto, you were looking awfully passionately at Marik..." Jou look at him with half lidded eyes.
"I was not!"
"Okay, let's just get over it, it's over, okay?" I spoke, seeming the only voice of reason at the moment. Damn...when did I take that title? I'm supposed to be the crazy ass!
"Fine." Seto grumbled.
"Fine." And Marik grumbled.
I know I could have made those two lines into one sentence, but you know what? I don't care! Haha! I have that power! Bask in my awesomeness! ...Didn't I say that last chapter? Oh well, whether I did or not, bask in my awesomeness again! -Insert hair flip here- Got to add one of those..you know...just for good measures...
Anyways...back to what I was saying that's actually semi-important...
Mmmm food. Yes, that was the next thing that came along...And to think all of that happened BEFORE the food actually arrived. I really wasn't sure WHAT I was eating...It was all French sounding...I don't speak French...But I do speak Igpay Atinlay:Pig Latin, for you people still foreign to my language:
As long as the meat was rare, I was good. And it better not have that nasty Asparagus itShay on it...That itShay is nasty...Oh the Joys of cussing and not getting in trouble by nosy hikaris...
Well, I was hoping that maybe...just maybe...because there was food in front of them, they would behave...That's wishful thinking Bakura...
...Wishful thinking...
Leo: 'eeekSquay', and 'GASPSHOCKHORROROHMYEFFINGGODSOFRA' are actually my two personal quotes...I love them. And I thought Bakura should enjoy them too...hence the reason they've been inserted into this chapter. Sorry this took so long and the date will probably span a few more chapters...I got into another fandom...And I'm gracefully juggling the two... Reviewer worship time:
Asaake: It only took me forever, but here's your update!
Happiness's Deceit: Fire is good...Squeaku! And eye candy is like something pleasing to the eye :coughhotlookingguycough:
Dragonlady222: I hope you liked this chapter. I added that nice little twist for all the BakuraxJou fans. Let's just hope Akefia never finds out about that one...Poor Jou...
Lily of the Shadow: Squeaku...Only if I can join...XD Just kidding. Comedy is my strong point...And half the retarded crap Bakura has done or talks about...Is actually partially based on my real life experiences...although changed a bit...Like...candle wax is bad...XD
NubianQueen413: Hyperness is fun...Except when I'm typing, because then I have habits of leaving letters out or writing entire paragraphs backwards!
Sirithiliel: (I've mastered writing your name! eekSquay!) I hope you liked this one...the next one will be twice as fun...with a cameo appearance of a certain character.
Jazhira: The only time I've ever beaten a Rubiks cube was when I peeled the stickers off and put them in the right place...Do you know they actually sell the stickers? XD Well so far nothing real bad has happened, oh but the worst of it is yet to come...:wicked grin:
albino-yaoi: I'm learning to slowly ahte yami beats hikari fics. I mean Bakura's a psycho, yes, but give the guy a break! And as you may have noticed...I don't do cliche, well I try not to. I like to be different. Different gets attention.
Meowzy-chan: Heh, yes as you see throwing Seto and Jounouchi was crucial for maximum crazyness. And I can so picture Baku-chan flicking his hair like that...the lovable friutcake...LOL Just kidding...
YamiMisao: Hopefully this chapter was some what as good as the last. with any luck. Hopefully I'll get my act together and start updating more often...
Skara: eekSquay! More Ego puffing! Yay:munches cookie: What kind of Bakura would he be if he wasn't totally concieted? lol Gotta love him for it though...Cause it's not like he's lying XD
Fear of Falling: Seto is too attached to that briefcase...and Marik, well Marik likes to play with sharp objects anyways...so It seemed right.
Yoko no Tenchii: Heck yeah, they claim that I MAKE them do it...but they love giving out hugs!
Metallix Tears: Eek! I'm such a bad influence! I should put a warning that says: Don't do ANYTHING that Bakura/or I, do! There I said it! Throwing the marshmellow was fun...But eating the cottonballs...not so fun...
Ryua Malfoy: It's a toss up between Bakura being the center of the universe of Seto...They're both attention getters. And I, being bisexual, am greatly offended actually when people refur to things as gay...Or call some one fag or faggot...Because it's impolite to call someone a Cigarette or a bundle of sticks...And there is no way Tuxedo guy can be gay! He's...too..straight...
Chrysler: Yeah, I'm trying to keep it a little behind on AFF so I can update a bunch of chapters at a time. Like I said before, Humor is my strong point, the only other one that somewhat matches it, is angst. Read 'Help Me' if you want major angst(It's not Yuugioh though).
Leo: I worship you all like gods! I'm I'm so happy to say that by next chapter I will have over 100 reviews! You guy couldn't have made me happier! Okay guys...You know what to do.
Bakura and Akefia:double hugs for everyone: