I got no regrets right now. Fuck it! It's such a blur. I love all the things you do. Where do we go from here? Turn all the lights down now. Smiling from ear to ear. Our breathing has got too loud. We're taking this way too slow. This place was never the same again after you came and went. I'll always be dreaming of you. Place your hand in mine I'll leave when I wanna. Look to the past and remember and smile, and maybe this night I can breathe for a while...

Justin's P.O.V.

It's been almost two weeks since Brian and I had that sort of a date and I can't believe how happy I feel. When I was with Seth, I was sure we were in love, but I've never felt the way I feel when I'm with Brian. I'm not even sure when it changed…when I stopped finding him annoying. But somehow, somewhere along the way, it happened.

I look up from the counter when I hear the bell over the diner's door ringing and I find myself looking at Brian's smiling face. There are times when I look at him that I find a little goofy smile on his face and I'm sure that I have the same look on mine. We're probably ridiculous in the eyes of other people.

"Hey bus boy," he greets me, going to sit down in one of the empty booths. I flip him the middle finger and he laughs. Michael looks between Brian and I and smiles, shaking his head. I can't believe that it's been just two weeks. We've been out to Woody's a couple of times and I was surprised to see Brian turning down every offer he got, but it was very pleasant.

I take my order pad and walk over to them. I smile at Michael. "Hey Mikey."

"Hey," he answers. I can feel Brian's eyes on me and I grin, purposely ignoring him. It's like being back in high school and pretending that you don't care about the guy you like even if you can't stop thinking about him.

"What can I get you?"

Michael looks at Brian and smirks. "A hamburger, coke, some lemon bars and a coffee."

"Anything else?" I ask as I'm writing his order down.

"Nope, thanks." I make a move to turn my attention to Brian, but Mikey says, "Hey, I was wondering if you had some spare time. I have a project that I'd like to run by you."

"A project?"

"Yeah, it's something that I've been thinking of doing for a long time now."

"Sure. I can stop by your shop when I get off my shift."

"That will be great." He smiles at me and I finally turn towards Brian who's frowning. God, he's such a Queen that can't stand not being the center of attention.

"Hey Bri."

"So now I'm here?"

Both Mikey and I roll our eyes and Brian scowls at us. "Just a coffee and a turkey sandwich."

I quickly write down his order and leave their booth to go place their orders. When I look back towards Brian, I find him still watching me and a big wide smile breaks on my face. Quickly, his stern look is replaced by that little smile that makes him look like a little kid.

I pick up the coffee pot and go over to them to fill their cups. Michael says thanks and Brian just pretends to ignore me. I roll my eyes once again.

"Be careful Sunshine," Brian tells me. "If you keep rolling your eyes that way, they might get stuck up."

"Brian, stop being an asshole to poor Sunshine," I hear Debbie's voice saying from behind me. I turn around and Deb pinches my cheek.

"You know Debbie I'm a little old to be poor Sunshine and have my cheeks pinched."

"Don't be ridiculous," she says patting my shoulder. "If Mikey can still get smacked upside the head, you can have your cheeks pinched."

"Then perhaps it's time to stop hitting me, Ma!"

She just glares at him before walking away.

When I hear the bell signaling that Mikey and Brian's orders are ready, I go to pick them up and as I'm placing them down in front of them, Brian gently grabs my wrist making me look at him.

"Are you busy tonight?" he asks in some kind of a whisper. I shake my head and he nods. "Then why don't you come over to the loft around ten?" Before I can answer, he pulls me towards him until our lips are touching. The first kiss is nothing more than a peck and he pulls back and looks into my eyes, as if he's looking for something. Then, he gently slides his left hand behind my neck bringing our mouths together once again and this time, we get lost in the kiss. I think it's several minutes later when I finally hear Debbie's voice calling my name. When I pull back, I see the lust in Brian's eyes and I'm sure that he can see the same thing in mine.

"Sunshine! Would you mind going back to work?"

Reluctantly, Brian lets go of my neck and wrist, gently shoving me back. "Now, Debbie why don't you give the guy a break?"

"Because if he had a break you would fuck him in the bathroom."

Both Brian and Michael laugh and I can feel myself turning red. Brian rests a soft kiss on my lips before starting to eat his lunch. I smile at him one last time before going back to work.

Brian's P.O.V.

Sometimes I can't fucking believe how domestic I act when I'm around Justin. He didn't even ask me to stop tricking, but somehow, it just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

We still didn't hit Babylon together, so I'm not totally sure that I can resist so many different types of offers but for now, every time we go to Woody's or we're at the Diner, I'm easily able to refuse everyone. I can read every time on his face how truly surprised he is and maybe this is the reason why I'm doing this. He didn't ask me to stop tricking. He never told me that he wanted a committed relationship. It's almost like he's willing to take me in whatever fucked up way I come. No expectations. No requests for me to change for him.

When I realize all this, I see how over reactive I am sometimes. How easily I freak out over nothing. Every time Emmett or Ted or even Michael do a joke about me being in a relationship, I almost feel the urge to do everything I can to make them see that no one can change Brian Kinney… that I will always be the same Brian Kinney… I almost feel like I have to do something to make Justin see that I'm not gonna change, that he can't have what he dreams of… but then I see him.

I see how he laughs at their jokes, telling them that we aren't going to get married or lock our doors… I see how easily he can understand that I need time to figure out all this, and somehow, my fears disappear because he doesn't push. He told me to take things a step at time and we're doing exactly that. He isn't telling me that he loves me every second… he doesn't expect that every time we're out, I'm only going to be with him… Michael acts more like my boyfriend than he does. Shit… did I just think of Justin as my boyfriend?

"Brian?"

I look over from my desk towards Cynthia. "What?"

"Vance wants to see you." I nod and she leaves my office.

When I'm sitting in front of Vance, he smiles at me. "I'm sorry to say this, but I fired the head of the Art Department."

"And you're smiling because?"

"Because now we will have someone that actually knows how to do the job."

"Who?"

He shrugs. "That's your job. But I'm sure that we can't find anyone worse than Tom."

"You expect me to do job interviews?"

"Yes, with Cynthia's help."

"Vance…"

"I will be away to Chicago for the next couple of weeks, so you will have to find someone. I'm sure that it won't be a big problem."

"I have to work on the accounts."

"And you need an Art Department in order to do that." He has this very satisfied grin on his fucking face and I have to restrain myself from punching him. "You can start looking at the graduates from PIFA."

"We need someone that has already worked for an ad agency, Vance."

"Yes, but every year we have interns from PIFA. I'm sure that someone will be able to do the job."

"We don't need someone able to do the job. We need someone who's a genius."

"Of course. I leave every decision in your capable hands. Now, you can go."

"Vance…"

"Brian?" he arcs an eyebrow like he's daring me to contradict him and since he's still the boss, there's not much that I can say.

"Ok. I will try to find someone."

"Excellent."

I can hear the water running in the bathroom and I smile. When his shift was finished, Justin went over to Mikey's and then came here, so he didn't have time to take a shower. And Justin is very firm in his decision no-kiss-until-I'm-clean. I offered to wash his back, but laughing, he declined.

I sit down on the sofa and his backpack catches my attention. I always see him sketching when he has a break at the Diner, but every time I ask him if I can watch, he blushes and distracts me with a kiss. Now I have my chance.

I look over my shoulder towards the bathroom to ensure that he's not coming out before I pick the sketchpad and start going through it. The first drawings are of some guy. He's very handsome. In some of the sketches, the guy is with Justin and in some he's with Dean, but Dean doesn't have a really happy expression on his face whenever is close to the guy. I guess this is Seth. It's the only man near Justin that Dean would hate. There are even some sketches of a little girl that must be Molly and some of the little girl with an older woman resembling both the girl and Justin. So this is the cold-hearted bitch that calls herself a mother.

Two of the sketches really catch my attention. In one there is Dean, Justin and another guy about their age that must be Frank. They all look very happy and looking at this sketch, I think I truly realize for the first time how much he meant to Justin. How much Dean must mean to him.

The other sketch is of Justin and who I think is Seth. They're lying in bed, looking at one another. Very much in love if the looks on their faces are something to go by. But considering how it turned out to be, maybe it was just the way Justin liked to look at them. I see a date in the corner of the drawing. It says 'April 2006' which was three years ago. Maybe then they really were in love.

"Enjoying the show?"

I slowly look up and find myself looking into Justin's eyes. They're a deep blue… from what I've learned about it, this particularly shade of blue means that he's currently angry at me. Why in the hell couldn't I wait for him to be ready to share his drawings with me?

"Jus, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are." He takes the sketchpad from my hands and angrily shoves it back in his bag.

"I just wanted to look at your sketches."

"Because I've never showed them to you?" He turns around, dropping the towel he had wrapped around his waist onto the ground and goes to retrieve his clothes in the bedroom.

In a second, I'm behind him, taking hold of his arm. His eyes are distant, and I can very well see that he's pulling away, probably more quickly than I can reach him.

"They're very beautiful."

"They're also very private."

"You have an amazing talent. You shouldn't be bussing tables in a diner." He lowers his eyes and I put my free hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry I've looked at them without your permission. I was curious."

"They're private," he repeats and I nod. "How…" he clears his throat and looks almost ashamed. "How many of them did you see?"

"Just until the one of you and, who I think is Seth, in bed."

He nods and gently pulls his arm out of my grasp and sits down on the bed. He spreads the blue sheet across his lap and I almost have to smile at how prudish he can act some time. "It was Seth just…"

"What?"

He looks towards the living room, cautiously avoiding my gaze. "It wasn't something real."

I sit down next to him. "What do you mean?"

"He never looked at me like that." He sounds almost angry and even discouraged. "And my mother never held Molly that way. I never showed anyone the sketches, besides Dean and Frank. They were the only one that could understand."

"So what's in the drawings is what you wanted to see?"

He nods. "Pretty much."

"Even the one with you, Dean and Frank?"

He looks up at me and his eyes held such a sadness that it makes me wanna reach out and hold him.

"It was after he died."

"So it was two years from Seth's sketch and the one with you and the boys?"

"Yeah. Things with Seth were going better so I didn't need to draw something out of a fantasy anymore. He was at home when he said he would be. He would make love to me for hours and hold me afterwards. He was with me, Dean and Frank every time they invited him out. It was going great… I didn't need that sketchpad anymore. Not until Frank died." Sighing, he wraps the sheet around his waist and stands up, walking back to the living room and coming back shortly after with his sketchpad in his hands. He gives it to me and then sits back down next to me.

"Look afterwards…" he whispers turning his head away once again. And here I thought that I was the one that didn't like showing his feelings.

I quickly flip through the pages until I re-find the one with Justin, Dean and Frank and then I flip over that page finding myself looking at a drawing of Dean and Justin. Kissing.

"That was after Seth and I broke up. I needed something to take my mind off of things. Dean was there with me all the time… I…" he trails off for a second before clearing his throat. "I thought that I would have been able to give him what he wanted. I was trying to image how it would have been."

Nodding, I turn over the next page. Soon, Dean's face starts to become mine. I glance at Justin who's biting his lower lip keeping his gaze fixed to the floor. The dates of the drawings are from after the first time we fucked.

Justin sighs heavily. "I wasn't totally ready to let go, you know? I didn't trust you. Sometimes, I still don't trust you or at least, I don't trust myself around you." At least he's honest. I'm not sure if I should be hurt from what he just admitted or not. I feel his hand sliding into mine and I look at our fingers entwined. "But after we first fucked, I started drawing you without even realizing it. I would pick up a pencil and the sketchpad and I would look at the page after an hour and your face would be there staring back at me."

"We look hot," I say smiling and for the first time in half an hour, I hear Justin laughing.

"I think so too."

"But you looked hot with Seth too." I look up at him and this time his eyes are a softer shade of blue. And he doesn't divert his gaze from mine, but instead he squeezes my hand in his.

"That's me. I look hot with everyone. You said you saw the ads I've done with Dean…" I nod and he smirks. "I was totally hot in those."

I laugh, pulling him towards me. Thank God he didn't totally close up on me. "But we're the better version."

"Definitely," he quietly whispers and closes the gap between us. As I feel his tongue seeking for entrance, the word 'ad' comes back in my mind and I gently pull away from Justin.

"What?" he asks confused.

"I have a proposition for you."

He frowns. "Huh?"

I smirk. "Not that kind of offer. A job proposition. Vance told me to find a new head for the Art Department. You have the qualities that will definitely improve our agency and you already worked in an ad agency before, right?"

He nods, but seems unsure. "What?"

"Are you asking me because we're fucking?"

I shake my head, slightly hurt that he would describe what we have as just fucking. "No. I'm asking because I'm sure that you can be a very worthwhile asset for us."

"And I would enter as the head of the Art Department? What if the others employees think that I'm where I am because I'm your bo…" he quickly trails off blushing. At least he doesn't really think that we're just fucking around. "Because I know you?"

"Then we should just pretend that we don't know each other. Honestly Sunshine," I say sliding my arm around his shoulders and pulling him to me. "It wasn't that long ago that you hated me."

"It wasn't really hate," he says wrinkling his nose. I raise an eyebrow and he smirks. "Well, maybe just a little. I hated more the way you acted than you as a person."

"Well, since I'm a very big asshole when I'm at work, you won't need to pretend too hard that you can't stand me. And if you hate the boss enough, you may be likeable in the eyes of the other employees."

Justin nods and then becomes silent for several minutes. I watch all kind of emotions play on his face. I wonder if he's aware of how easy he is to read. Maybe it's just that I know how to read him. Suddenly, he's smiling. "I accept. I liked working in advertising before and it's not like I have a better job offer somewhere."

I extend my hand to him and smiling radiantly, he shakes it firmly. "So you take the offer, Mr. Taylor?"

"You can bet your ass, Mr. Kinney."

As we're still both laughing, I pull him to me, kissing his soft lips hungrily. I hear him moan into the kiss and I gently push him backwards until he's lying on the mattress and I'm stretched out on top of him.