Chapter 10

Conscience's voice

There are not many girls applying for the team, but those there for the tryouts were finishing changing or talking, and disappeared as soon as they saw me enter the room.

I spot Ginny in the far end corner, placing some things inside her locker. I make my way to where she is and can't help myself from yelling her name in sheer anger, "Ginny Weasley!" Ginny jumps, not realising that I had come into the room.

She turns around to look at me, looking genuinely surprised to see me standing there and says, "Hermione, I didn't see you coming, what are you doing here?"

"Why on earth did you hit McLaggen with that bludger for?" I hear myself saying unable to stop yelling.

Ginny looks taken aback momentarily but says matter-of-factly, "You know perfectly well why I did it Hermione... He deserved it."

"Nobody deserves a bloody bludger thrown at them!"I reply, angry not only for what she had done but also because I feel like I don't know her anymore.

"What! You gotta be kidding right? For Merlin's sake Hermione, are you on his side?" Ginny says obviously very angry with me.

"No, I'm not Ginny," I say more calmly this time, "What he did was wrong but it's also wrong to go around hitting people with bludgers. I thought that you were different, but I guess I was wrong," and with that, I storm out of the locker room and go towards my room leaving a very stunned Ginny behind.

I don't want to think about the day events anymore, as I am extremely upset with Ginny, so I go to my bed and fall asleep.

The following morning, I wake up, wash my face, get dressed, comb my hair as best as I can, and go to breakfast.

I spot Ginny at the Gryffindor table sitting next to Alicia. She looks at me briefly, gives me a reproachful look and resumes eating.

Noticing our exchange of looks, Harry asks me once I sat next to him, "Everything ok between you and Ginny?"

I blush a little bit at Harry's question but answer him nonetheless, trying my best to look innocent, "Everything is fine, why do you ask?"

"Hermione," Harry says patiently, as if trying to explain something to a kid, "I know you too well. I know that you two had a fight"

Considering the possibility of telling him or not... I watch Ginny wipe a drop of cream off Alicia's face. At that precise moment, I get up from my seat, and say to Harry, "Geez Harry, You're so tactless sometimes!" and storm out.

Harry chases me into the hallway and grabs my arm, "Hermione, wait. What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing! It's just... Ginny... bludger... McLaggen" I tell to Harry rambling, anger taking over me.

Harry looks at me incredulously and after a long pause, he says, "That's it?, A bloody bludger?, That's why you're mad?"

I stomp the floor, furious now at Harry for not understanding a single thing. "Boys!" I huff and run away, leaving an astonished Harry to wonder what has just happened.

Instead of heading to the library, my preferred place in all Hogwarts, I chose to go to a secluded spot near the lake not known to anyone but me. I sit beneath a blossoming tree full of beautiful red flowers and inhale the cherry scent emitted by them. This place is my second favourite at Hogwarts, because it gives a perfect view of the lake and the surroundings without giving you away.

Sitting there, I give myself a chance to think, to reason about what is going on with me. Why is it that things that affected me so much once, now don't seem to have that effect anymore? Why does seeing Ginny with a new best friend, suddenly makes me jealous? Or why does seeing Ginny touching her....makes my blood boil in anger. Why on earth am I having these reactions whenever I see Ginny with Alicia? Alicia.... She is the reason I'm mad! She is driving Ginny away from me and her friends. Yes! That's why I am jealous and angry; she is being a terrible influence on Ginny. But... wait. Ginny, caressed her hand near the Lake... and just this morning...she wiped off the cream of Alicia's face... Hmm, could Ginny... possibly be a lesbian? NO, NO, NO, NO... that's not it. Ginny has always liked boys. On all the occasions that I have spent with her at the Burrow, she has always talked about them.

I hear a small voice inside of my head saying, "Why does the possibility of Ginny being a lesbian frighten you so much?"

What are you talking about? The possibility of her being... a... lesbian doesn't frighten me.

"Right," The voice in my head says sarcastically, "So, if that's true, then, why did you take a pause before the word lesbian?"

"IT DOESN'T FRIGHTEN ME!"

The voice in my head keeps quiet for a few seconds before replying,

"Ok, whatever you say Hermione, but let me remind you of something... Every teen at one point or another goes through a stage in its life in which, she or he, looks at other girls or boys and thinks about them in a sexual way."

"I know what you mean... but what does that has to do with me?" I say impatiently

"Well, you're frightened that Ginny might be a lesbian."

"I believe that we already established that it doesn't scare me weather Ginny is a lesbian or not!"

"Yes, you are scared Hermione. Please, stop lying to yourself."

"Who do you think you are to tell me something like that? Hmm?"

"I'm your internal voice Hermione, the voice of your conscience and I know that you're lying."

"Well, you, so-called voice, I don't want to discuss this with you any further."

"Ok, whatever you say Hermione... until next time!"

"Until next... What! There will be no next times, internal voice or whatever you call yourself!"

Fortunately for me, the voice in my head leaves me alone and I can enjoy the scenery. After a while of being there, I stand up and go to my next class.

I join Harry and Ron in the Transfiguration hallway. We enter the classroom at the same time and sit in our usual spot.

I spend the whole class thinking about what my internal voice had said but decide to ignore it for the time being.

Once the class is finally over, we leave the classroom and Harry asks me, "What are you going to do later on, Hermione?"

"Oh, I'm not sure Harry, why?"

"Well," says Harry, "Why don't you come to Hogsmeade with us... and well... why don't you ask Ginny to join us?"

A few seconds after Harry has finished saying that, Ron adds, "We are going to see Fred and George's new shop... and we thought..."

"We?" I ask both of them arching my brow in the process.

"I thought," says Harry while scratching his head, "that it might be a good excuse for you and Ginny to make up."

I look at both of them for a few seconds, thinking about it and say, "Yes, sure. I don't see why not; I'll go and try to convince Ginny to come with us. When are we leaving?"

"We would be meeting in front of the castle at four," says Harry with a grin on his handsome face.

"Ok, I'll see you guys there. Wish me luck with convincing Ginny."

"Good Luck, Hermione" Harry and Ron say in unison.

After saying good bye to the boys, I go in search of Ginny Weasley, hoping with all my being that she will come with us.... The guys are right, this fight had gone on too long.