When they reached the perimeter of the settlement several people were waiting anxiously on them. Still it was a warmer welcome than the chagrined looking Devin had received, but usually a bedraggled, grimey young man running towards them was not good news, so running to the huts and gathering weapons and children together was a fairly reasonable reaction.
Merlin shrunk silent behind Hunith, hoping to avoid notice, and very aware that at least one set of eyes was immediately drawn to him. That woman had dark curls and the same sort of sparkle around the edges that Kara sometimes did. A girl about his age was holding onto her, and a taller one next to her watched the approaching adults warily. He didn't think she liked strangers much.
That was ok. He didn't either. He tried though. Standing forward from them was a tall man, bearded, with dark blonde hair, and an axe at his hip. He was in charge Merlin knew. He was good at spotting who was really in charge, even if they weren't the ones that should be.
The man who he thought was probably the head of the village reached out to grip Balinor's hand and he wondered if they knew each other as the dark man returned the gesture without reservation, he didn't smile though, and the warmth faded from the headman's face as he noticed something.
"You have come alone?"
"No. As you see I come with a great deal of news. All of which would be best delivered in a less public setting if you would allow us the hospitality of your hearths."
The man with hair like flax jerked his head towards the largest of the houses, "Follow me, there is a little bread and stew. What shall I call you today?"
Balinor's gazed flicked to Kara with a small smile, "Today I am going by Bran, if that suits."
"Indeed. I'd ask what it was short for, but I know what you'd say."
"Just as well your food is better than your conversation, Ken."
They trailed after the man with varying amounts of enthusiasm. Balinor keeping his air of quiet authority for now, and Aine standing back to allow it until she knew where they stood better, Kara and Devin deeply unsettled, neither having been particularly at home in permanent villages to begin with, and Merlin doing his best still not to be seen as he gripped Hunith's hand tighter and pushing down his jumpy magic as it reacted to his increased anxiety.
"It's ok little one. Don't panic, remember?"
Aine winked at her grandson. "Won't it be nice to sit down round a nice fire?"
Merlin hummed noncommittally, receiving a sharp glance from his mother, who had her unreadable mask on. Merlin didn't like that face, it never meant anything good.
Inside the house was much the same as any other, though clearly intended to be central and able to accomodate a village council or travellers deemed requiring supervision. Like themselves.
There were a few low stools, and two smooth- sanded logs by the hearth, the usual soft furnishings visible, and a couple of screens for sleeping areas. The woman with the soft shimmer looked them over more closely and quickly led Kara and Devin to the fireside, the warmth and shelter stripping away the veneer of composure and leaving the two more exposed than they had been in any of their wanderings. No tears shone in Kara's eyes, but her shaking was as obvious to Merlin as to the woman who brought over a blanket to wrap around her shoulders. Tears were an unnecessary part of sadness. Merlin looked at his mother's quiet demeanor, and to Balinor's serious face, and had a horrible feeling that there was going to be a lot more sadness before bed, it was the same sense that warned of news about raiders, or Cenred's men at home. No, he thought, at not-home, they were looking for a new one. He looked around the house and couldn't quite help the fear that prickled in his heart, not here, whispered his mind. This shouldn't be their new home, not yet anyway.
The fence around his mind seemed to falter for a moment and he felt the break being fixed at the same time as Balinor directed a keen glance towards him.
The deep voice whispered in his mind, blocking out everything else for a moment, "Be calm Merlin, find the still place inside you, let your magic gather, don't fight it. I am not frightened by it, and neither is anyone else here. Close your eyes while you concentrate dear, they are golden. It's beautiful, but let's not alarm you mum, she does not know our hosts yet." Balinor's voice was warm and non-threatening, becoming steadily more familiar as the exchanges continued. Merlin liked the way his mind felt quiet and strong.
Balinor drew his concern away from the connection to his son, his magic really was alarmingly strong, swirling, deeper than any he'd felt before. How he hadn't been crushed by it, or at the very least found Balinor had no idea. That Merlin's magic didn't frighten him was only half a lie, the magic itself certainly didn't, but the burden it would place on Merlin and the trials it would inevitably bring him scared the living daylight out of him.
That in his emotional state he had almost breached the shielding Balinor provided made it a priority for his father to help Merlin build his own defences, before he was shocked into closing himself off to it consciously. Especially since the presence of another had caused him such distress.
Assured that his son was in no longer in imminent danger of losing control he refocused his attention on their hosts, girding himself for a conversation he never wanted to have, knowing he couldn't avoid it any longer.
Aine stepped closer to Hunith, "Shall we sit by the fire, or do you want to be a part of their discussion dear? I suspect it may be of benefit to keep Merlin occupied away from this one, maybe get him fed just now?"
Hunith nodded. Looking a lot more absent minded and plain-peasant like than Aine knew the astute woman was.
"Do you want to stand beside him openly, or maintain a distance?"
Hunith showed no reaction to the projected words, but relinquished Merlin's hand,
"Go and sit by the fire with Aine Merlin, your hands are chilled, and I am sure hers could do with some warming too."
Merlin looked up at her, slightly puzzled "Missus Aine's hands are always warm mum, like bread just outta the oven."
"Well you go and make sure it's not all the heat escaping okay? There'll be food coming round soon enough, and I need to speak to your- to Bran." Confusion was clear on his face as he looked around them for someone else.
"Balinor, dear, he is using a pretend name so no one can follow him by asking directions."
"Oh. Do I have to get a new name?"
His grandmother cringed, shrinking from that prospect. He already had too many names, only some of which she knew.
"No love, perhaps when you are older. Some names are unusual, or can be followed more easily, some grown ups decide to choose their own names to use, like others have nicknames. I bet that Will had another name, didn't he."
Merlin screwed up his face. "His mum called him William if we was in trouble. His dad never called him Will."
"Well, tonight, Bal is using Bran, but no matter what name we use for people it never changes who they are inside. You will always be Merlin, no matter what anyone calls you." She smiled softly and extended her arm to give her grandson the choice, glad when he accepted the offer.
"Good choice Merlin, shall we go and investigate what snacks there might be, I'm sure your mother won't be long." The small warlock drifted over and settled against her side, trying not to yawn, "You can go to sleep if you like dear, but if you wait a little longer there will be a comfier place to curl up ready for us." Merlin nodded, avoiding looking at anyone else. They could wait until later.
Hunith tried to slow her racing heart as she walked towards her dragonlord and hesitantly placed her hand on his arm, sending him a look of silent encouragement.
His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly over her fingers as he placed his hand to her own.
"Go on love." her voice at his ear was low enough not to carry.
Balinor took a seat at the table and gestured to the village leader and the woman who recognised him to sit, which they did, both looking grave.
"When I left you and your daughters here it was with the clear intent of returning with your husband. He was a good friend to me, and always the best of men." he made sure to meet the eyes of the woman whose hope he had to douse, and watched her register the use of the past tense as her breath caught. "I followed the trail closely, he was unable to stay long in one place of course, but skilled at evading anyone he needed to. I am am grieved greatly my lady, that having successfully found him, and enjoyed once more the privilege of travelling with him, I was unable to return with him and reunite you. It is with greatest sorrow that I must bring you the news of his death as we were leaving one of our necessary stops. He gave me some letters, to you and I assume your daughters, to be delivered if he was unable for any reason to return to you as he longed to." He dropped his eyes as he reached into his pack to extract a packet of sealed letters. "I swore to him I would see these reached you and your daughters."
"You swore to him. He knew then? That he would not live." She looked piercingly at Balinor, her devastation clear to see, yet her voice still strong. "Tell me what happened to my husband, Bran. Tell me why he is not here today, and you are. I had not believed you one to abandon a friend to their fate."
Balinor nodded, accepting her anger. "Of course, and I assure you that had he not ordered me to I certainly would not have. Your husband...he was a good man, Merryn, and he did not die in some pointless manner, his life was not stolen from him but willingly given. I was too late to intervene. Ciaran told me much about his girls in our travels. He would.. I mean, he always wanted to make you proud and he was a hero that day, because of his actions and sacrifice there are two little girls alive today. He- he took the blame for a nine year old's accidental magic. The community were already somewhat cautious, what with the idiotic rumours of one twin being the child of a demon. We couldn't save everyone, and he chose the children, so you're right. I ran. He demanded I release them and bid me to take them, and run. Otherwise it would have been three deaths, and two barely old enough to understand."
Her composure finally broke as she heard what her husband's final act had been and found herself wrapped in another mother's steadying embrace. As her sobbing eased she turned back to the man who remained still next to her. "Did they...Was it worth it?"
Balinor heard what she didn't ask. "He saw them freed. We got far enough away, they survived this ordeal and have been placed with sympathetic guardians. No longer together, but hidden, and cared for."
Chewing her lip Merryn head jerked once and though the hope was gone a resolution began to replace it. "Then it was worth it. He would consider it worthy. Even without the proper rites his spirit will be at rest. We all knew what we risked, I will honour his last decision. Thank you for giving me your account, it does not ease my pain but gives us the chance to heal. My daughters will know the truth of their father. He always loved them, and even when it cost him his life he did the right thing. If there's nothing else urgent I want... I need to speak to the girls. I'd usually offer to open our home to any travellers but tonight I can't. We just can't."
Her tears were silent as Hunith rubbed her arms, "Of course. May we- I mean, would you allow someone to check on you later, bring anything?"
Merryn shook her head, pulling away. "Not tonight thank you. Perhaps come morning it may be useful to check. He's hardly my first loss, though the grief is not less, but the girls will take this hard." Hunith accepted the answer without question.
"I will leave you now, Kenneth, Bran."
No one could say 'goodnight' on such an evening.
The three who remained were silent as Merryn left, collecting her younger daughter from the smooth bench, where she had sat by Merlin, and leading her by the hand solemnly from the fire.
Kenneth looked between the pair opposite him, waiting until the door closed to speak again, "So Bran, I see you finally found a woman who could slip behind your walls? I'd wondered if you were going to pine forever!" The smile faded as Balinor shook his head and the man wondered if he had been mistaken about the dynamic between them.
"No Ken, it seems the gods have seen fit to reunite me with the one I lost years ago, her village has recently been the target of increasingly frequent raids and we met on the trail here." He squeezed Hunith's hand lightly.
"Well then, it would appear your declarations of the gods abandonment of you and your people were not quite accurate. As the… whatever you are exactly… to Bran here you are very welcome Hunith, he has done a great deal to help us without drawing unwanted attention. As is your son. Sorry, an assumption, I mean the child who you protect of course."
Balinor glared at his tactless friend, "Do shut up Ken, before you actually manage to offend someone, not that any of us here are particularly thin skinned after enduring everything thrown our way, but you sound like an eejit."
Hunith stepped in to prevent them from escalating the bickering, "Thank you, sir, for your generosity in sharing your home and fare when we gave so little warning of our arrival. The child is mine, and I am a partner to Bran."
Kenneth nodded approvingly, "Aye. Though if you are planning to continue travelling together this way, you may want to disguise the similarities between them. Possibly change the kid's hair colour, the darker kids are viewed with more suspicion anyway. More likely to have druid blood or something, says rumour. 'Course the ones with my colouring are more like' to be from raiders and them Saxons, but that don't get ye killed."
"No, no it doesn't. I'd appreciate it if you kept that bit of speculation to yourself though. Especially as Bran is not my husband."
"He don't need to be to look like your boy there, that ain't how nature works. I'm right, aren't I."
Hunith's features hardened. "Merlin and I have been alone all his life, he met Bran less than two days ago. You will not make this more difficult for us than it already is. I agreed to coming here with him because there was news that some poor woman needed and deserved to hear, not to listen to someone making ill-conceived guesses and slinging dirt. If you want us gone say it, and if you don't, you can find the decency to apologise to me properly. Now if you don't mind there are some birds I have to prepare since we did not come empty handed to your village this night." With eyes blazing fiercely Hunith grabbed them from Balinor and stormed out, hoping that for once that this man could feel anger and frustration from others.
Balinor didn't try and stop her as just took his kill to use to do something constructive with the agitation.
"That wasn't helpful Ken. Why? You don't just blurt out assumptions or we wouldn't be friends."
He grimaced. "Aye, sorry 'bout that. I won't tell nob'dy, never told 'em you were alive, did I?"
Balinor inclined his head, "There's that at least."
"Look, ye need t'get off the road again. There was some fancy fowk came lookin' fer ye no' long after ye left last time. I don't know if they're still out there followin' ye or 'ave giv'n up yet, an' I didnae ask. Couldn't risk 'em comin' sniffin' around the village again, or we'd be no use to ye. Yer woman'll want to stop ca'in aw fowk 'sir' or 'milady'. It ain't a sign o' respect no more. No 'round the borders especially. If she's no yer wife yet, ye'll be wantin' t'do somethin' 'bout that. There's been certain o' the Lords takin' wimmin they say are unclaimed and usin' 'em. No' here yet, but if ye're travellin' they'll find ye 'ventually. Figured ye'd be wantin to know that before ye left again, an' no wantin' her t'think ye dinnae ask fer the 'right' reasons. Had to make sure she was closed to the conversation."
Balinor rolled his eyes hard, "And you couldn't think of a better way than to make her angry?"
"Well ye did kinda take me a' unsuspecting like. Turning up wi' a woman. Never have seen ye like that."
"You, Ken, are an idiot, a complete oaf of a man, and Hunith can't 'hear'. Unless you speak directly into her mind deliberately she won't hear." There was a hiss in the underlying dragonlord- rumble this time,
"But you...but she... Was I wrong about the child's parentage? 'Cause he looks the spit o' you as a lad, but your brethren wouldna' 'a let ye bed a mute woman, let alone breed her."
"Aye." Balinor lowered his voice further, "An' they might have had a point once, but my kin are all long dead now, and the reason I'm still alive rather than rotting with them in a mass grave is that woman. Make no mistake, she is beyond strong, and I'd rather face the wrath of Morrigan herself than Hunith's. So I suggest watching your tongue, and begin with an apology when you see her again. Besides, I'm the Last Dragonlord to catch, the end of that genocide. Best not forget that my friend."
Ken's eyes were serious as they drifted over to the travellers clustered by the fire.
"Of course, My Lord. As before, there are no more, and could never be. A dragonlord mates for life after all, and you never wed. He will need to be known by something. I can't use E- whichever name you are travelling by. I know you wouldn't have given him a dull name, one that's hard to track Balinor."
"I gave him no name at all, his mother did though, and it suits him."
"Unique then" Balinor looked at Ken sharply, noting the uncomfortable head-shake and shrug. Another one. He sighed heavily.
"What do you mean by that?"
"It doesn't matter. What would you name him now for this stay?"
"Nothing to suggest a connection." He paused. "If anyone asks, Cador. Simple and not so suggestive of where they hail from, no links to myth or legends."
Ken look around quickly and seemed to reach a decision as his gaze settled on the group huddled at the hearth. Reaching up he removed the brooches from his cloak, and as he did so the tattoos that ran along his arms and across his chest, traces of a past that was always hidden now, became visible to all eyes again, he tossed the heavy cloak onto the table.
"Take these." He held the disk brooches, clearly made by a master metalworker, towards Balinor.
Torn, weary from all that had unfolded, Balinor began to decline, knowing that there was no non-magical way to cover druidic tattoos, and Ken curled the man's stiff fingers around them, wrapping his other hand around them. "I've seen that look in your eyes afore man, you're no' stayin'. I can enchant another set before anyone notices us, and I don't harbour traitors here so I don't, so nae need t' trouble yerself about risks. Ye need them more'n I do an' they're gladly giv'n. I'd offer ye the plain ones but ye wouldn't have the time to cast anything complex before ye've to move on. Ye'll have to make do with the fancier ones. It's a simple enough glamour, and protection spell. There's a spare cloak that'd just about fit 'im if'n you'll have it for the lad. I doubt 'is mam'll accept anythin' from me, or I'd offer. Usually I'd ask Merryn, but she'll be in no state to help th' night. Nor for many to come I think. Ye did the right thing comin' t' her. She'll grieve her man, but there'll come a day when th' sun shines a bit brighter again, an' her heart is less heavy. She knows for sure what happened t' him, an' that he died a good man, savin' wee lassies."
Balinor accepted the offering and dropped his head to his chest. "I couldn't save him, Ken. I can never save them all. Before I met Hunith on the road, all of them, I'd lost faith. This was my last trip. I was going to go into exile properly, the way Uther expects us all to accept. The way he keeps Kilgarrah. I can feel his pain every waking moment. It felt only right to join him, since it's my fault he's suffering. I think, if I hadn't met them, I'd have ended up living like a wildman, alone in some cave. Only the magic and the pain for company."
Ken raised a brow and folded his arms across his broad chest. "Doesn't sound like much of a life that. Think I might rather take my chances, or die young."
"Aye. I know the feeling, but I could never do that as long as one dragon lives. I would never leave him that way. Cut off so much, he'd go mad. If his plan of escape worked one day, no-one could restrain the vengeance he'd seek. I never had a choice, even in this what I am dictates it. I'm not so heartless as to abandon innocents to 'Garrah's righteous wrath."
"I'm sorry. For everything." Balinor felt chilled, as he recognised the tone in which Seers would apologise for future events and losses. Hadn't he lost enough?
"And I'm sorry I couldn't bring better news."
Ken shrugged. "Little news that passes through 'ere is good these days. Ne'er lose sight of the light though, it always burns brightest in the dark. Sounds like ye've had plenty news of yer own these few days fer sure. The wean's fidgetin' an' a' now, we'd best be getting them settled. Can I assume that he isnae mind-deaf?"
"I think that is fair, yes. He is many things, but that is not one of them."
I bet he is thought Ken.
"I'd tell ye ye're welcome to talk t'me about anythin', but I suspect that in this case it's probably best not to. I care 'bout ye, ye know? An if ye've ever need of a roof of a night, ye know where I am." Ken cleared his throat, that had unhelpfully begun to ache and choke his words. "Right then. Let's get the sleepin' places sorted. Plenty furs as always, an a fleece each. Wee lad goin' in with his mum th' night, I assume?"
Balinor nodded his agreement, "Aye, keep the familiarity, it's the first night they've been in a house since their own."
"An' yersel'? With Hunith and her son, or separate?"
Balinor grimaced. "After your performance, perhaps it's best to leave a separate one an option, at least until I speak to her. There's a great deal we've yet to resolve."
Ken wondered exactly how much about his son Balinor knew. He couldn't know he was Emrys, or they'd never have dared come to him, but from Balinor's avoidance of old heroes names that were often given to young boys, or his over reactions to some offhand remark, he was clearly aware that the child was unusual. With a woman from outside the typical marriage pool for a Dragonlord, or even just one raised with druids, there would certainly be complications. The only way it could really be more messy would be if she was of the New religion. He wasn't sure what the triple goddess would do then to retrieve her son. How had he lived to see such days?
Aine took the bowl of stew that was offered by the woman who moved quietly around the home, she vaguely recognised her, but certainly hadn't seen her recently. The rising steam and savoury smell catching Merlin's attention immediately.
"Like before dear." A spoon rested against the edge, and some fresh flat-bread. Merlin's stomach growled and he perked up immediately, almost inhaling the food. He was used to always having just about enough to keep the hunger at bay, and noticed that there wasn't really quite enough in the pot for as many people as were present now and was quite suddenly glad that they had brought meat and eggs with them. It was a strange feeling, like he'd done something to help feed someone in return. Many of the things were similar to his own village, but there were some that felt distinctly unfamiliar, including the people. Unfamiliar people made his magic itch, like he had to be ready all the time, though he wasn't sure for what.
He could sense that everyone around him was throwing lots of feelings around, and wondered if it would be easier if he listened, until he heard someone crying. He pulled everything back in, mind and magic, and promptly dropped his destabilised bowl. He didn't want to feel something that made a grown up cry. Mum wasn't the one crying at least, that was good. He knew by now that if a grown up cried it usually meant that someone had died, or was going to. He didn't want to die, even though some people said he should have, because he knew it would make Mum cry. He wondered sometimes if they were right, and it was a mistake that he was still alive, because sometimes when that happened lots of people cried together, but he knew that only Mum would cry for him. Well, Mum and Will, if his dad wasn't looking. He wondered if Balinor would feel how Mum felt one day. They were very different from one another, but there was something that felt the same about them. Mum felt different from others because she loved him, Merlin knew, maybe Balinor felt different because he loved Mum. Merlin hoped so. It would be nice for them to be not alone. Maybe if a man was with Hunith villagers would be nice to her, and though he wasn't sure exactly what to think of Balinor her could feel the calm of the man's mind around his own, and knew the man would protect Mum if Merlin couldn't. He wasn't sure how to do that properly now. Before they had to leave home it was easy, he was supposed to protect them by not using magic, and that was very, very hard, but easy to remember rules. The rules were not the same now, and that was… well that was harder than trying to do the impossible thing that he understood, because now he wasn't sure what they were and how to make them all safe. And he wasn't exactly sure who made the rules here. Mum always did for him, but Aine did for others, and the new man made Rules for the village. He could feel his breathing quickening and his hands beginning to shake, and then there were arms wrapping around him, bringing the small body against a solid one. "I've got you, breathe with me now. Hand on my heart if you need to count."
"Close your eyes Merlin, you're safe. Aine's bringing your Mum in. It's just me." Balinor mentally sighed. "You pulled it all back in and scrunched up to hide, didn't you. Don't worry about the bowl, there's plenty of bread, and nothing broken. I want you to open your eyes and keep them fixed on me ok, let the magic uncurl. Good boy. It'll feel a bit bruised, suddenly pulling away like that." He smiled, "No matter, nothing damaged, are you with me now?"
Merlin chewed his thumb and shook his head. "I don't know the right rules. If I break the rules someone will find us, but it's not the same here."
Balinor felt frustration burn through his veins. "I won't let anyone hurt you. You had the best rule you could have before, because there was no-one to help, but not being alone means we can use some better rules and help each other. Aine and I have a lot of practice and know how to fix mistakes that magic can make, but mum didn't have that! So you both had to use the very hardest one. Don't panic." Merlin looked up to Balinor and saw a man he barely recognised standing behind him. "Look at the man, Bali- Bran he has pictures, and patterns. We're not allowed to have those, not even the kind that wash off in the stream. Will an' me did it once, and his mum was so cross he couldn't play with me for aaaaages, and mum was sad. It's a Rule. No skin drawings. Only in the dirt. No curls unless it's letters with her there, only straight lines and animals. I like letters- do you know how to do them?"
Balinor smiled, remembering sitting with Hunith and refining her handwriting, showing her different runes, the words of Gallia. How delighted she had been by the revelation of different languages. She had a gift for it, and might have carried on learning if he hadn't had to leave.
"Yes, I know my letters, in many languages. I'm very glad your mother has begun to teach you too. The Rule against skin marking was only made after my friend had already been given his, so he hides them."
"Not now. I can see them."
Balinor reached for patience "I know. So can everyone else. He took off the thing he was using to disguise his skin and gave them to me." He held them out, "See these brooches? They have magic would through them, he gave them to me to use, and will make himself another. There is nothing wrong with having skin drawings though. They are called tattoos, and each of his have meaning. Just like mine does."
"You broke the Rule too? Does Mum know?"
Balinor chuckled at the way Merlin's eyes went wide, "Hunith knows. I had mine before it wasn't safe. They help me to concentrate, and return if my mind got caught up when I was young, like an anchor. They told people who my family were when that was still a good thing. I cover them up now too, but don't need to use a brooch like this. Aine has two, and they are always hidden under her clothes."
Merlin felt rather dizzy with all the rule changing. It was supposed to be naughty to break them, but Mum didn't behave like all these people were.
"We cover them to be safe, not because the Rule against them is right. The Bad king decided they were not ok when lots of people, like us, already had ours. Some marks identify friends, but not all, others show who someone belongs to. If you see one you don't know, always tell us."
Merlin bit his lip, "Can I see yours?"
"That's up to your Mum, Merlin. Not here. Only Ken- the big man- knows about mine, or what I did before magic people had to hide, and I don't want anyone else to find out. The lady who brought food is his wife, and she already knows, he is in no danger from the villagers. Many had to leave their homes when men came or attacked, and they trust Ken to keep them safe."
Merlin watched Balinor carefully, "They don't trust us do they?"
Balinor's heart felt heavy as he answered. "It's not us that they don't trust Merlin, they trust you, and they trust me, but they don't trust that there couldn't be someone looking for us, and that is sensible. They are afraid of the same people who want to find me, and you. Scared people are not always friendly."
"They aren't very good at playing pretend here either." Merlin's mental voice was petulant
"No, but some are also just very sad because they hoped to see someone they loved arriving with me, and instead I had to bring them news that he died, so they aren't upset that we are here, only that he isn't here with us. The lady you saw earlier and the girls are his family."
Merlin nodded slowly, "Not having all of a family shouldn't mean you get to be mean to people and angry."
"No Merlin. It shouldn't." His father agreed.
"Mum doesn't have a whole family and she isn't mean to anyone." Balinor winced at the truth.
"No, but she does have you, and she is very much loved." He paused, "Do you think a family would help her?"
Merlin shifted uncomfortably. "Don't know. Not one likes Will's. She doesn't like bullying, and has an angry-inside face when she treats those hurts. Maybe she could have a mum. One to look after her." Balinor looked up to see Aine standing just behind a worried looking Hunith, and beckoned them forward. "What if she could adopt one? I know someone who might be interested in being Hunith's mother." Merlin looked at him suspiciously, "What if mum doesn't like them. I don't think you can just decide to be a family. They just...are." Balinor's lips twitched.
"Look, here she is now. Since you've done such a brilliant job of calming down I'm going to leave you to speak to her on your own while I sort out where Kara and Devin will stay tonight, and check these brooches with Aine, just to make sure that I haven't missed anything important about them." He stood back and indicated Hunith should sit with their son.
Aine locked gazes with her son, raising an elegant brow in query. "Outside Mother."
The two younger druids sat with their heads bent towards one another, seeming to talk silently, as the older boy was sat at the table with Ken's wife comforting him over a warm drink, setting Aine's mind at ease enough to leave the house with Balinor.
They stepped out into the chill of the early night air and walked in silence to the treeline around the village, just far enough to be out of notice. Balinor turned to look to the sky, knowing Aine would follow his movements and understand the groan that he couldn't hold back "You finally noticed."
He glared half heartedly at her, "And you never did forget."
"What kind of Druid would I be if I couldn't even keep track of the lunar cycle? That's barely defensible for a non druid woman."
"What were you expecting to happen?"
Aine cocked her head and dropped her eyes from the full moon. "Would it make a difference if I told you? If I made something up? Perhaps something sweet, happy. Simple. Or something dark and foreboding. Solemn." Reaching for his hand she stroked his palm as though he was still young, sighing as he scowled, "Probably not mum."
"Just as well, because son, the truth is that I really had no idea what was going to happen. I expected change, an end of an old way and beginning of something new. I believe that what that is, will be up to you and Hunith. When you know, go back in to her, and make it new."
"I fucking hate omens Mother, and when there are signs I only want to run. Remember that bloody questing beast the night Igraine died?"
Darkness clouded Aine's eyes "How could I forget. Or the eclipse heralding the Slaughter of our Kin."
Balinor snorted, "And the Seers Mother?" He couldn't quite keep the accusation from his voice.
Aine closed her eyes futilely against the memories. "If I was a true Seer, as some of the families were, I doubt I'd still be breathing."
Balinor looked at her sceptically. "Then what would you call it?"
"Not enough to risk acting to change things. Glimpsing I suppose. Not enough to drive me to madness, and that only because of our family's legacy. Just enough to help you and Merlin, thank the goddess."
"How can you trust me to do the right thing, when I can't trust myself?" Aine wished she could ease the fear in his voice. She was a parent though, and there is always an undercurrent of fear to that, so she answered him instead.
"Because I know you are a good man, and I know that you love them, and that you are wise enough to make decisions that are not guided by fear. We all make mistakes Bal. You have been given an opportunity to fix it. Don't waste that."
Balinor leaned against the tree. "I won't. I promise you that."
"Good. I never doubted you. Have you decided what you are going to tell him?"
Aine avoided prying on principle. "I have. I just need to speak first to Hunith. 'I need to make sure she is in agreement, but I don't think it will take him terribly long to work things out. Best we tell him ourselves than he thinks we lied to him. I honestly don't know what emotions would do if unleashed wrongly.'"
"Then choose a safe place to do it son. I'm proud of you. Whatever you decide."
"One thing Mother, I need you to check these disk brooches are safe. Ken noticed Merlin's my son, he gave us these for a working glamour, it would save us the energy of creating and sustaining one, and it's far too advanced for a child like Merlin to try."
"Huh. They're not locally made, someone traded for these, the magic is his though, it knows this places. Nothing dark. Dominant protective and some neutral. I can't see any magic related reason not to."
"You don't think we should use them?"
"I think Merlin is going to need a rock solid, clear identity, that doesn't change with the weather. I think he deserves that since so much of what would have rooted him, offered stability no longer exists. I...worry… about you, about him, about all of us. The world is changing around us even now. Please- don't make him change."
Balinor pressed his lips tightly together. "Don't worry about me, Mum. For Merlin, I appreciate your wisdom and will consider it before compromising him."
"Then Balinor, don't strip him of his name again, oh don't make that face, of course I noticed. Ken was projecting a little, testing Merlin at a guess, and you haven't mentioned his name aloud, it's obvious without the distraction of grief that you are concealing him. Remember he's young. Too young for such games. And don't ask me not to worry about you, it's my privilege." Aine gently squeezed his hand before she let it drop and stepped back.
She looked carefully back to the house. "You are going to be ok. Would you appreciate my presence or absence more tonight?" a wrinkle appeared between his brows as Balinor thought.
"He'd better not have triggered the lad's panic earlier. Well, her boy thinks that Hunith should have a mother to care for her, though is less sure about the rest, so if you're interested…" His smile was bittersweet, remembering that she'd heard nothing of him for years. "I'd be honoured. I'm missing a perfectly good fire though, and you still need to sort out where to put Kara, Devin and the boy."
Balinor shifted uncomfortably, "I was intending to have them all together with us but without knowing how things will go with Hunith it might be better to have less in the way of observers."
When they slipped back into the central house the pair had a working plan, and a young couple happy to offer the other three a place to sleep, which Kenneth and his wife were happy to agree to. Having expected all to wish to remain together, the woman had brought out all of her spare blankets and furs for visitors, but shrugged off the youngsters offering them back to her, claiming that she was always the best prepared in their village for the unexpected. Like visits from Bran and his strays. Them staying in another home also enabled her to go to her friend without qualms, to offer condolences, and practical support for the girls if Merryn wished to find a place of her own to weep later.
Once she had left, leading Kara, Devin, and their charge towards their shelter, Ken cast a warning look towards the family before heading toward the door, wrapped in a cloak heaving than strictly necessary for the temperature but effectively covering his distinctive markings.
"Ken, do you need to use the Yew grove, or the spring tonight?"
He paused at the door, not turning. "The spring is special to Merryn. Best not risk it. I'll keep them away from the grove, may the goddess smile on you tonight."
Balinor nodded his his gratitude, "Thank you, old friend, I believe I may need it."
Ken nodded and was gone.
Balinor sat with his family, looking into the flames, fighting down the instinct to play with the fire. It was hard to see a hearth as a danger when one had grown accustomed to dragonfire that could melt stone. Next to him Hunith was stroking Merlin's hair as he curled in her lap. "Tired?" He asked, feeling suddenly awkward."
"He's exhausted. I'm amazed he lasted so long, even with the rest you gave him earlier. That's not what's on your mind love. We need to talk about what we've both been avoiding, even your mother agrees or she wouldn't have made herself available."
Hunith looked towards Aine, who acknowledged the point, "Well I did think it best that you have the opportunity to speak alone, and it is important that the little one doesn't wake up alone in strange surroundings. It might be easier to concentrate if you aren't listening out for him stirring, whether you are in here or out."
Hunith grimaced. She didn't want to leave Merlin, but Aine wasn't wrong. "You used to go walking at night with me. Perhaps if we stay close?" Hunith faltered and Balinor placed a hand gently on her cheek, "Come with me tonight. I promise not to keep you out late. We won't be far from him."
Biting her lip the way Merlin did, she muttered her acquiescence.
"Aine, if I just slip him into bed, can you stay with him? There is plenty of space, but the bad dreams sometimes get harder on nights like this. With the changes and all." Aine's eyes had sought Balinor's instantly, the horror Hunith had missed dissolving only when she processed the reason given.
Suppressing the inward jubilant cheer when Merlin obligingly did not wake up, decanted into the furs, settling as soon as he felt the warmth of his grandmother's form next to him, Hunith tiptoed nonetheless to the door, trying not to disturb the floor reeds.
Wrapped warmly she slipped her hand into his as he led her silently out of the village, he was more than glad to avoid having an audience for this conversation. When the reached the sacred grove he let go and turned to her. "Since it disturbed you the other night, you should be aware that this place is witnessed by the goddess, and if you wish to keep our conversation private it would be best to have it in the way of my mother's people. Tonight is… important. To both of us, Hunith, and to our loved ones. I will be completely honest with you, if you will do the same."
Hunith allowed a single tear to escape, her heart too full. "Well then, what are you waiting for?"
Taking the offered invitation, Balinor stepped into her space, cradling her face in his hands and kissing her deeply, stopping only when the need to breathe overcame them. Resting his forehead against hers he let himself soak in her presence and stepped into her mind properly.
"You're different Bal. There's a sort of...wall. Is something wrong?"
"No love, just a barrier between us and Merlin. He's sleeping. No nightmares, remember? Though I will need to rest later and haven't tested it then. I have my own nightmares, and I definitely don't want him exposed to those horrors." He didn't shield her from his emotions then, if they were to have a chance of making a true family, he couldn't hide something so significant. "I want to tell him Hunith. He suspects you and I already, and thinks you should have a mother, which I happen to know my own would feel is a privilege, despite how your blood mother was, even before sending you to Gaius, Merlin has you as an example, mothers are in his mind the best family someone can have. If you have objections she will never push. I hope that you might be willing to consider becoming more than my betrothed, love.
I thought at first we should wait, but all of this… Hunith, tomorrow is promised to no man. I would be a fool not to ask, you are the strongest, most amazing, loving woman I have ever met, and though there are many obstacles in our way, I can't think of facing them with anyone but you. I had given up on everything, lost all hope, and then there was you, you are the light in the darkness, the guiding star when I cannot find home. I want to be able to stand beside you without inviting cruel words and rejection, to be able to hold you openly, to be your home. Marry me Hunith, properly. Once I would have offered you everything, brought you before a high priestess bedecked in jewels, gold, and a dress of the finest linen, taken you from the holy Isle astride a dragon. Now all I can offer you is myself. My heart and soul. My protection for what little it's worth, and every day I have on this earth to make right the mistakes I have made." Openly crying now Hunith threw her arms around his neck, letting him wrap his around her slim waist. "Yes. I will marry you Balinor. In rags, or in riches, I will accept your offer, if you will do the same. No dowry, no home, no wealth, but everything I am. You have to be sure though Bal. I'm not just the simple peasant girl you once fell in love with."
Balinor tilted her head upwards, stroking a thumb over her bottom lip. "No. Now you are so much more. You are a mother, and I fully understand that Merlin comes first. I am so proud of you, my beautiful warrior woman. You protected him even without your own magic, without sword skills- though knights would be jealous of your aim with a throwing knife! How could I ever fail to accept such a person. You are far too intelligent to suppose a dowry or home matters to me, love. You have kept my son safe, knowing he has magic, that it could cost your own life, do you know how rare that choice is? A son I never even knew existed! The goddess may not often smile on me, but I rather think she likes you. I came so close to losing you forever. If anything had been different we could have never been brought together again. I usually fight the idea of Fate, or Destiny, but this one time, I can't. If I have a destiny Hunith, you are it. You are my destiny, and Merlin my Fate, and for once I wouldn't fight it even if I could, because you are both blessings that I don't deserve. I once had rings, legacies, but they lie hidden. Too powerful, too dangerous to carry around where they could fall into the wrong hands. I fear I stand empty handed before you tonight."
Feeling a sense of peace spread through her Hunith stretched up to kiss him gently. "Yes, I will have you, as long as She gives, you are mine."
Behind her an excited young dryad squeaked, a slight breeze disguising the sudden gossip between the guardians of the sacred grove from the human and dragonlord. The young one's neighbour was slightly older and frowned at the man's empty hands. She could feel his power, but he gave no gift to the woman, as was customary. Frowning she wondered if it was possible there was nothing to give, she felt no objects of power, nudging her other neighbour he agreed. Well that just wouldn't do, she couldn't allow a man of influence to go around neglecting such customs as jewellery to a newlywed wife.
Quickly she twisted something together, whispering over it, accepting the offering from the bearded dryad next to her, and stepped forward, into the clearing.
"My Lord, and My Lady," She dipped her head to the mother of Emrys. "The Dryads of Albion would gift you these rings, the Old Religion recognises the mating of the Last Dragonlord. The wood will live as long as you do, it will be a sign to you both when you have no other."
She placed them in Balinor's hands, her gaze piercing. "Look after Him, we will be watching."
"Thank you my Lady for the kindness you have shown us." He bowed to the woman before him, pleased that Hunith beside him had neither startled nor lashed out, only watched calmly and intensely. "They are beautiful My Lady."
"My people would offer far better. You must forgive me, but I was not ready for such an encounter, they are hurried work, my brother gave a drop of his own blood for the Dragonlord's ring, and there is a strand of my own hair woven through yours. Only amber and jade to the untrained eye, but far less common, and very rarely given as gifts. They can do no harm Lady Hunith, nor react to any couple but you." She looked to the heavens and smiled brightly.
"There is much for you to say to your sapling- no, offspring?- bring him here, to the grove, when the moon is high, and we will have it ready for the Last dragonlord and his mate to tie their knot in truth. Do not be late. The triple goddess is waiting."
Balinor nodded slowly. "We will return on one condition."
"Oh, you know would attempt to bargain with She?" The dryad made no attempt to hide her amusement. "No. With you, and the spirits of this land. We will return and do this with you, the wild spirits of Albion as witness, as long as there are no priests or priestesses present, the High priestess must not hear of our union."
The dryad nodded slowly, the voice that sounded like the wind answering him as her eyes glazed over, "The High priestess has lost her way, she leads her acolytes astray, the time will come but not this day, when she will fall and Magic stay." Her eyes clearing she smiled brightly, "We will be your witnesses, none shall speak of it to the dark ones. There can be none present tonight. Bring the heir, and one who will speak the blessing over you." She faded away, leaving two decidedly unsettled young lovers alone. "They couldn't let us have a few minutes undisturbed." Hunith smiled weakly.
"So will you allow me to tell Merlin? Who he is and what he is to me?"
"I don't think we have a choice. We could marry, and raise him as though you are adoptive, but.." She sighed, "He is far too much like you. He has always been so alone, I thought it was only the magic, but it's more than that, isn't it, much more. I forgive you for what you did not tell me, forgive me for not understanding your words. Tell him with me, and we'll begin this next chapter together. You, me, and Merlin, like it always should have been."
Balinor smiled widely, and brought her hand up to brush a light kiss to the back of her fingers.
"Don't mourn for what we can't have love, not tonight. Tonight we live in the present and look to the future. Whatever it brings we can face. Let's go ready our son, and my mother. She may be no priestess, but she's seen more marriages, births, and deaths than anyone else I know. Speaking a blessing is her place." He could ask about her lack of reaction to nature spirits later.
Hunith walked in step with Balinor from the grove, one arm around his waist, his arm draped around her shoulder, both feeling lighter than they had for a long, long time.