Disclaimer: I do not own, claim to own, or pretend to own the characters involved in this work of fiction. I doubt I'd be able to keep up with those green demons anyways…

Enjoy, su!

Bird Cage

They were in the middle of a showdown.

While she remained completely calm in her refusal, he stared her down determinedly, confident that the eerie milky white of his eyes would unnerve her into folding. Of course, Hyuuga Neji had never met anyone quite like Ichihara Yuuko, and so didn't know that he could wait for eternity for all she cared, but she wouldn't change her mind. And once the witch had made her decision, not even the demons of Hell could make her change her mind.

Not that the demons of Hell would have tried; she was far too terrifying for their liking.

"I told you that I wouldn't grant your wish Hyuuga-chan," she smiled serenely, using the endearment just to piss him off; she cheered mentally when he bristled at her. "I believe this is the fifteenth time that I've had to explain why."

Neji scowled at her, nodding curtly as the memory of their last several conversations on the subject surfaced in their minds.

"I can't grant your wish Hyuuga-chan, the price and risk are too high."

"I can pay you anything you want! Just take the damn curse off me!"

"Curses are tricky things; by trying to remove one that is as ingrained in you as your Byakugan is, I run the risk of injuring both you and myself. I cannot risk that."

"Your saying that just because you don't want to risk your own hide…"

"So true."

She'd explained all this with a mocking smile, of course, but somehow there was an alternate reason; the woman had admitted to trying to preserve her own being so easily that he'd suspected there was something more. Yuuko was, of course, no ninja by any standards, but she sure as hell lied like one.

And that alone was what kept bringing him back.

"At least explain to me why you can't," he snarled, calmly, hands clenching in the fabric of his dark shorts irritably. "So that I don't have to keep coming back."

Yuuko looked stricken by his words, going as far as to feign fainting and moaning about how ungrateful today's youth were. "And I just so enjoy our conversations, Hyuuga-chan!" she bemoaned.

"Woman, I swear to god…"

"Alright, alright, don't get your undies in a twist," she waved him off, straightening and smoothing her kimono. Yuuko flashed him a grin in response to the death glare he was giving her, and so the showdown seemed to continue; who could make who break eye contact first? It was Yuuko's favorite game because she always won. "There IS a price for this precious information, you understand," she said, ever the businesswoman.

Neji, to his credit, had learned early that to promise her anything was a hefty price; instead, he would let her name her price before agreeing to anything. Of course, her usual price for giving him information consisted of a rather loud barging in of two certain green ninja, so he nodded his assent. "They'll be here any moment."

Her grin stretching even wider than before at this, Yuuko quickly cleared her throat before letting her expression go serious; the hairs on the back of the young Hyuuga's neck stood on end. When was the last time had he ever seen her this serious?

"Neji," she began, surprising him with the use of his first name without any kind of title attached. "For me to remove the curse from, from anyone of the Branch House, I would have to remove a large part of your soul. That curse has been on you for so long that if I were to break it, you would lose half of yourself, not to mention the repercussions it would have on me. I would either be killed, hurt, or cursed myself, and as much as you dislike me, I'm sure you don't want that to happen."

He nodded numbly, trying to take this all in. It was bad enough that he and the rest of the Branch Family was stuck in this proverbial bird cage, but to suck someone else in who had nothing to do with their world was worse then low. Lee, for one, would question his honor, and as much as the green ninja was an annoyance, he respected his code of honor. To have the other lose faith in his own made his heart sink at the thought.

During all this, Yuuko had continued her speech and rattled off several more reasons why she couldn't remove it. Unfortunately, he hadn't been paying much attention; if he had, he would have caught the monumental information that he was about to meet a hyperactive blonde who would take it upon himself to change the Hyuuga's fate.

Would have, but didn't.

Of course, their guests chose that exact moment to barge in and interrupt the quiet that had settled in after she'd finished speaking.

"Neji, in the name of all that is full of youth and energy, please do not do this!" the voice of one Maito Gai boomed from the entrance. Maru and Moro's excited giggles could be heard as they bounced and hung off of the green clad ninja, all the while pulling him towards the room they were in. "Yuuko-sama I beg of you not to grant his wish!"

The shoji slammed open to reveal not just Gai, but Rock Lee as well, and not for the first time Yuuko wondered if the two were related at least indirectly; it would certainly explain the eyebrows.

Lee bypassed Gai and made his way over to Neji as if to shake some sense into him; the other boy sent him a withering glare, and Lee checked himself. "You can't do this Neji-kun! Think of the repercussions! You'll be sacrificing half your soul, and you won't be able to be a ninja anymore, and then you can't celebrate the wonders of youth with me and TenTen anymore, and-and-"

The boy just went on and on in circles about why Neji couldn't have his wish granted, and was soon joined by his sensei who by this point was crying like a little girl as his favorite student preached their 'gospel' of life and happiness. The cold look the Hyuuga was giving him would have withered most, but the two had grown so used to his moods that they were completely unperturbed. Yuuko took all this in with silent amusement.

"Gai-sensei," she coughed, finally interrupting them. When she was sure she had his undivided attention, she continued. "I've already just told Neji-chan why I can't grant his wish. You can take him home now."

Gai appeared flabbergasted by the fact that they had missed their chance to spread the 'word', but Lee was pleased; if she'd finished this quickly, then it was likely that he had given up early today. Or period!

"I knew you would come to your senses eventually!" he cried, quite unable to contain his delight and hugged to now put-out boy. Neji waited until Lee's senses had returned to him before shoving the other boy off. "Where are you going?" he asked when the Hyuuga got to his feet and began padding toward the door.

"Home," he snapped, door slamming behind him.

Lee chased after his comrade, calling for him to wait and leaving their hapless teacher with the Space Time Witch. Gai swallowed hard when he noticed the sly look she was sending him and flinched when she thrust her hand toward him.

"My payment," she grinned, gesturing excitedly at him.

Sighing, Gai reached into his pocket and pulled out a small packet and handed it to her. She took it greedily and flipped through what appeared to be photos almost greedily, ignoring the dark look he was giving her. Ah, he had done well.

"Three photos of Kakashi without his mask, two shirtless, and one of him making out with Iruka," he recited dutifully before pulling a disgusted face. "As promised. Are you sure that's enough to keep you from granting Neji-kun's wish?"

Yuuko cackled, still pawing through the photos with an animalistic gleam in her eye. "Almost more then enough, considering you must have almost died getting them for me," she said, laughing at how pale his face turned at the memory. She cocked an eyebrow. "I'm missing one, Gai-sensei."

Her hand was in his face again, fingers waggling expectantly for what missing from her little collection of what Gai liked to call 'Kakashi Porn'. Almost grudgingly, he dug through his pocket again and produced the missing photo.

"And one photo of the 4th Hokage posing in a speedo," he grumbled as she plucked it from his fingers. "I hope you realize how disrespectful that is."

She shrugged. "Minato-san promised me this when he came to ask about sealing the fox. His payment has been long overdo."

Gai shook his head at her. "You're incorrigible."

"I know."

"Got any good sake?"

"Of course! And snacks!"

The two spent the rest of the day in a drunken stupor, eating snacks and annoying poor Watanuki with odd drinking shanties from the Land of Fire.

End

This is for 3Kiyoshi3, who requested Naruto from me. Sorry it took so long, but I had personal issues going on at home and then I started pastry school, so I haven't had time (or a muse for that matter) lately. Um, about the stuff at the end with the pictures…I tried really hard not to insert my own fangirlishness, but it was really hard and I fell to temptation at the end. I hope you like it anyways, though. And please, no more Naruto requests-as willing as I am to write them, I just hit a brick wall half-way through. Same goes for Bleach (which I know next to nothing of thanks to my love Hidden Jem anime). Anyways, I'll get working on Demon Fox of Midnight and yuMeNami's requests next, so keep an eye out!

Reviews save lives. And help an otherwise swamped author get her muse back.