A/n- And the broken record spins again, I'm sorry for making you wait, I'm sorry for being so late.
And Yes, I intended that to rhyme.
But anyway, thank you, to everyone who read, reviewed, favourtied or followed, I'm eternally grateful.
I can't believe this is ending, I mean, I know it's been just a couple of months since I started this, but maaaan, I can't believe 'Falling' is ending.
I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
Both, I guess.
Anyway, hope you like this, just one more chapter to go.
Chapter 10-Falling Tears.
She'd faced death a dozen times but watching him walk away and not running after him was the hardest thing she ever had to do.
Hermione had read about heartbreak, read about how people, especially girls, felt during them, read about the need to cry, the missing, the ice-cream and Ryan gosling binges.
What she'd never read about was the physical ache in your chest that came when your heart broke. That gut wrenching feeling that made you want to scream and run and do anything to make it go away, to be okay again.
Hermione had thought she'd felt broken before, when that dementor had been near their compartment, when she'd seen Sirius fall through that veil, when she'd seen Harry fall from his broom and for a moment she'd thought he was dead, but nothing even compared to the loss she felt at this moment.
She felt as if someone had taken her heart and cursed it, as if she'd just lost everything and there was no way she could get it back.
She watched him disappear into the house and wondered if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life, wondered if instead of being smart she'd been stupid.
Hermione knew if anyone else heard about what had happened they'd call her heartless, but the truth was she'd hurt herself as much as she had hurt Harry by pulling away, by saying that they were not right. Why, then, did she do it, you wonder?
Because it was the right thing to do.
Or at least, she thought it was. They were best friends, and he meant too much for her to just give up everything for these stupid feelings they were having. Love, she knew, it wasn't, because how can two people, even her, fall in love when they were sixteen? She wished she could believe, like every other girl her age that they'd get married after school and last forever, but she couldn't believe that.
She'd seen too many girls crying in the dormitory; too many break ups where not only the relationship ended, the friendship did too. And, that happening with Harry was something she couldn't afford. She couldn't afford to lose him as her friend, to lose him forever.
He mattered too much, they mattered too much.
Hermione felt the raindrops falling harder on her skin, as if punishing her for breaking the kindest and bravest and possibly the biggest heart in the universe. She deserved it, and much worse.
Hermione didn't how to survive anymore, how to live knowing what she'd given up, how to stop wondering what could've been. But she knew she had to learn how to. She didn't have another choice, she couldn't lose Harry as her friend, and she knew acting on their attraction would be the best way to kill their friendship.
Stupid-Freaking-Feelings.
She stared at the Burrow for another moment, but couldn't muster up the courage to walk in, something inside her begged her not to. So she walked to the front porch and sat down, immediately glad to be out of the rain, as the cold caught up to her.
A few minutes passed and the rain was slowing down, the clouds clearing away, she watched in wonder as the rain storm gave way to the starry night in the matter of just a few minutes. She stared at the stars and moon, and the smell of wet earth hit her and unlike earlier it didn't bring happiness. Everything reminded her of what she'd done, of everything she'd thrown away, and for the first-and the last- time, she promised herself, she let the tears fall.
She cried, until she couldn't breathe anymore, silent tears and sobs screamed louder than silence into the sky, she cried until there were no more tears left to cry, until all she had left was pain.
The tears fell until even gravity couldn't make them fall anymore.
She gasped as she felt someone sit beside her and wrapped warm hands around her; she looked up to find someone she'd never expected to find here, at this hour.
"Professor Lupin." She whispered, her words filled with surprise and unspoken question.
"Hermione, I'm not your professor anymore." He said, with a warm and concerned smile, and his familiarity just did what she thought wasn't possible anymore.
Another tear fell down her eyes, and he frowned at it.
"What's wrong, Hermione?" He asked, uncertainty filled in his voice.
Hermione's instinct was to say nothing, that everything was fine, that she just missed her parents. But she couldn't lie, not when he was so concerned and worried, not when she wanted to know if she'd done the right thing.
So she told him, told him how everything had changed in the last few days, how everything had gone wrong, how she'd fallen for the one boy she wasn't supposed to fall for.
After she finished, he only smile a sad, sorrowful smile and started to speak.
"You know the first time I met you, on that train, and Harry fainted, I thought you were going to pass out, too, out of worry for him. You were so concerned with him, as he was for you, you two were so tuned in, so aware of each other that I thought you were meant to be. I knew, back then, that you two were too young to think about that, yet, and if it was meant to be, you would find your way to each other." He said, and stopped, letting her absorb everything he'd said.
Hermione was stunned, she couldn't believe, it had been obvious then, when they were just thirteen, that it was possible that people thought that they were right for each other.
"But how can it be?" She asked, "Me and Harry, we aren't meant to be, He's my best friend but how could we..?" Hermione trailed off, wondering how to put her confusion in words.
"I don't know, Hermione, but don't you think that your best friend, someone you trust and love already would be better for you than anyone else, that He'd understand you and accept you better than anyone else ever can?" He said.
Hermione couldn't argue with his logic, but she couldn't easily give up, because how were they supposed to go back, if it wasn't meant to be, how was she, hell, how was he, supposed to just get along as they had before, it wasn't possible, and she was ready to bet their friendship on the fifty percent chance that they were meant to be, suddenly too confused and overwhelmed, she unconsciously, dropped her head to him shoulder, and looked up when he chuckled slightly.
"You know, you're not the first girl who cried on my shoulder about a Potter." He replied, a smile on his face.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Harry's mother, Lily, was a great friend of mine, even when she hated James and Sirius with all her heart. So, when they were going out, well, trying to tolerate each other, anyway, she would complain about him, and cry to me, I never knew what to say, but I couldn't tell her to stop, either." He said, the smile on his face disappearing, "You remind me of her in a lot of ways, you know."
"How?" Hermione asked, suddenly wishing to distract herself from the situation about her and Harry in any way that she could.
"Well, you both have the same passion for studies, and Lily too was stubborn and a little bossy, you both have the same fire inside, and like you, she too had a huge heart." Hermione smiled at his words, suddenly sad that she'd never get a chance to know Harry's mother.
"And from present circumstances, you both have the same tendency of falling for Potter men."He added, and Hermione laughed, wondering how she was able too, when her heart still quivered from pain.
"What I'm trying to say, Hermione, is that I know the risk is steep, that there are uncertainties, that there are things you can't predict. But if I know you, and if I know Harry, then I know that this friendship means a lot to you both, and if he's willing to risk it for love, and don't tell me how it isn't love because we both know that it is, you should let your fears go, too." He said, a serious look on his face, as if he knew something about taking risks and letting fears go.
Hermione understood everything he said, and suddenly it was clear as day that she'd made a mistake, that she'd been stupid and scared and she'd let the best thing that ever happened to her go.
Her eyes started to water again, and she put her head in her arms, and asked the question out to the world in general, "What am I supposed to do now?"
But strangely a familiar voice, one she associated with messy black hair, and gorgeous green eyes, answered.
"You're supposed to talk to me."
And one last tear fell out her eyes, in hope or gratitude, she didn't know.
A/n-Please review, I hope you liked it!