Disclaimer: I do not own The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes, Jemma Simmons, Agent Coulson, Captain America or any part of the Marvel Universe. I'm just borrowing for the sake of Fanfiction.

Chapter 10 takes place after the events of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. first season finale: Beginning of The End.

Stay

Chapter 10

"I've been so alone for so long

Forgotten by the world

Forgotten to myself

Your effervescent eyes have awakened me"

~ Stabbing Westward

It had been a month since S.H.I.E.L.D. had completely unraveled leaving Jemma and her team to their own devices. The discovery that Ward was Hydra had completely shaken her world, Fitz hadn't believed until Ward had dropped them both into the ocean. The two of them had barely gotten out alive, luckily the faint S.H.I.E.L.D. distress signal they were using was able to attract the attention of a very unlikely source. Director Fury himself. And they were saved.

Unfortunately Fitz wasn't doing very well. He was still hospitalized, still in a coma.

It had been a month since she'd last seen The Winter Soldier.

She lowered her eyes to the cup of hot tea she was drinking. She felt guilty for thinking it. As if everyone else at the new base- The Playground- could read her mind… or at least her facial expression. She was mopey, depressed, out of sorts all the time now. Skye had mentioned it, but assumed it was because of Fitz, and yes, while some of her emotions were tied up with Fitz, it was really The Winter Soldier who preoccupied her thoughts most of the time. With Fitz, she was worried he might not recover, or if he did, that he might end up so brain damaged that he wouldn't be able to do his job anymore, which more than anyone, would disappoint him. She dreaded the idea of watching him struggle, frustrated, which was the most likely scenario if he ever woke up. She also felt horribly guilty that he had essentially confessed his love for her by saving her life… and she didn't feel the same. All she could manage was a hug and platonic kisses. He was a dear friend, and he had saved her life and so she had a certain type of love for him. A deep friendship love, but it didn't go beyond that. And this had left her with a terrible sort of remorse.

The lab was a very quiet place now. This new lab.

There was no Fitz, no Ward, no Winter Soldier… But, she must look on the bright side, she supposed. Coulson was now Director Coulson, they had a new base, much bigger and nicer than The Bus, and they were bringing in new recruits every day. Coulson was slowly rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D. She'd also called her parents, something that had been on her bucket list of realizations while running from Hydra. She was planning a vacation. Things were improving… sure, things were getting back to a normal routine.

She looked over to the other side of the room. A calendar. Nearly the end of June… She sighed. Just like the Stark expo, futuristic houses and futuristic labs… Where was he? Apparently Captain America was looking for him but hadn't found him yet. She hadn't had the opportunity to speak with Steve Rogers in person, but she had talked to him over the phone. And she tried to put it out of her mind… giddy, ridiculous- star struck. She wasn't quite certain how she'd been able to be relatively normal around The Winter Soldier but not Captain America… well, then again, she wasn't all that 'normal' with him at first. She sighed.

"Jemma?"

She turned toward the voice. It was Skye. She ran into the room and right over to her, clasping Jemma's hands in her own.

Skye was beaming. "It's Fitz. He woke up!"

"Oh my gosh," Jemma gasped, leaped to her feet and the two of them practically ran down to the hospital wing. All maudlin thoughts left behind for the moment.

It had been two months since S.H.I.E.L.D. had completely unraveled leaving Jemma and her team to their own devices. It had been two months since she'd last seen The Winter Soldier.

It had been a month since Fitz first woke up from his coma. At first he needed some intense physical therapy, the doctors weren't sure how much brain damage he'd incurred when he was underwater, his brain was deprived of oxygen while Jemma had swam the both of them 90ft to the surface, but as it turned out he was doing fairly well. Sure, he'd forgotten a few things, he had an odd habit of forgetting what some of his tools were called, and he walked with a slight limp, which he still received physical therapy for, but he remained the Fitz she had loved and remembered. He'd been lucky. They were lucky. He didn't have to quit his job, the job he lived for, he just had to take a little more time now when working on projects. Fitz now tended to check and recheck for errors, just in case.

He had however, completely remembered admitting he had feelings for her, and had been lately pushing her for some sort of a response as to how she might feel, if she'd consider dating a lab geek, etc. etc. She didn't really know what to say. Truthfully her mind was on The Winter Soldier still. It hadn't been so long since she'd seen him really, not in the scheme of things. Two months… Maybe Captain America would track him down, maybe she'd run into him at the Playground, or the Hub… or passing in a hallway somewhere…

It was 6AM. She smacked her alarm clock, and nestled back under the covers staring up at the ceiling. What had she been dreaming? She wasn't certain but it left a big smile on her face, but when she tried to remember it seemed to slip away… drifting… some sleepy, delicious dream… She smiled contentedly, and closed her eyes.

Bucky. Yes, that's what it had been. The Winter Soldier pinning her to the ground, slowly closing in… Was he really going to kiss her? What would that be like? What would have happened if he'd kissed her? Would he have stopped? Would it have led to other things? The warmth of his breath lightly caressing her skin… And his strength… and his blue eyes locked on hers-

Her smartphone rang.

Jemma grabbed for it. It launched across the room.

Great. She half fell, half staggered out of bed and collected the phone. "Hello?"

"Jemma." It was Coulson. "Meeting on The Bus in half an hour."

"Half an hour. Right. I'll, I'll be there." She raced to the bathroom. Let's see, ten minute shower, pull together some clothes-

A few minutes later she was on The Bus again, in the living room/bar/meeting area. It was surreal being inside now. It had been repaired, all the glass swept up. All of their systems were back online again. Fuel line replaced. Maybe even new carpets, there was that new smell of freshly glued carpeting and plastic…

"Okay team, it's been a while. And I'm pretty sure some of us are a little rusty," Coulson began.

"Speak for yourself," May cut in.

Jemma repressed a smile. She felt like her brain was going to mush sitting around at The Playground all day, training interns.

Fitz glanced over at her, he must've been thinking the same thing.

"Skye is going to fill you in with the details."

Skye stood. "Okay, well as you guys know we've been tracking Deathlok," she said accessing something on her laptop.

Instantly Jemma was back in the open house. Her eyes drifting from a magnolia tree, over a fake laptop and into The Winter Soldier's hardened eyes. She smiled dreamily.

"Is it safe?"

Jemma woke to hear Fitz talking about something… Deathlok?

"Yes, we think it is," Skye was concluding. "It's an old Hydra base. Looks like something Deathlok feels we should maybe check out. As I said he was there yesterday. He looked around a little bit but obviously with the locked area that he couldn't break into the Director-"

"You don't have to call me that Skye." Coulson's mouth was pulled tight. It was about as close as he ever got to a blush.

Skye grinned at him, and then out at everyone else. "All right, well, Coulson…" She turned back to address him, "is that better?"

He nodded.

"Thinks we should go look into it."

"Mmm…" May uttered. "Or, maybe you're bored Phil?"

"I'm definitely bored, but I think it's worth taking a look at, plus we can get out of here for a little while. I miss The Bus." He looked around at the old team, "if anyone wants to come along-"

"Of course we want to-" Jemma was flustered. Both she and Fitz had said the same thing at the same time. No doubt he would mention their 'synchronicity'.

Coulson smiled his genuine, dry smile.

After packing up their things for a short trip they were on their way. To somewhere, Jemma hadn't admitted to anyone, that she had no idea where they were going. But, some old Hydra base that Deathlok had found.

"I wonder what Deathlok was doing nosing around a Hydra base to begin with," she said to Fitz while they rearranged their refurbished lab.

"Don't know."

"I hope he isn't working for them again."

"Like your friend?"

"Hmm?" She looked up from cleaning her microscope.

"The Winter Soldier."

"Uh… what?"

"Well, this is that same base you were being held prisoner isn't it?"

Her smile drooped. "Is it?"

He met her eyes skeptically. "Isn't that why you were so anxious to go on this mission? To get back at those men who took you?"

She felt uneasy and had to sit down. "No."

"Are you all right?"

"I, I… sure I am." She stood up and went to the door, "just going to get a cold compress for my head."

Fitz was right behind her, concerned, "Jemma?"

"It's nothing… just a… headache." She left the lab and headed into the kitchen area. She hadn't been kidding about needing a cold compress. She felt as if she might pass out for the second time in her life. Why hadn't she bothered to listen when Skye was filling them in on the details of this mission? It was so unlike her… but no, not lately it wasn't. It was all of this stupid Winter Soldier crap. Her brain was being flooded with thoughts of him on a constant basis. The Winter Soldier's walk. The soft way The Winter Soldier spoke to her. His smell. His touch… She had to get this out of her system and get back into the routine. She couldn't go on thinking about him. And anyhow, she was just a 'mission' for him, she was making too much out of it. Once he came to his senses… once he realized he was Bucky Barnes he most likely forgot all about her.

"Are you okay?" Skye was getting something out of the refrigerator.

"Yeah," she managed weakly. "Just need to get some ice, and sit down for a minute."

Skye watched her.

Jemma crashed onto the sofa, feeling all of a sudden, like she wanted to vomit but she was so exhausted she didn't want to get up off of the sofa to bother. She lifted her eyes and found Skye staring at her, and she smiled.

"What?"

"You staring at me like that. It's how The Winter Soldier used to look at me all the time."

"He stared?"

"Constantly." And then her smile slipped.

"Uh huh…" Skye came around and sat down on one of the stools. "You never told me that before."

"Didn't I?" Her voice pitched.

Skye shook her head, smiling at her, in a sort of interested for juicy gossip sort of way. "Maybe he liked you?"

Jemma sat up. "What? No."

"That was an awfully fast 'no'. Sounds very suspicious."

Jemma looked away, holding some crushed ice to her cheek to help relieve her nausea and the blood, no doubt, rushing to her cheeks.

"You were stuck out in the wilderness with him for days. Are you sure nothing happened between you two?"

Jemma's eyes were riveted to Skye's instantly. It was as if Skye knew about him spooning with her out there on the very mountain they were flying back to.

Skye's face lit up. "O-kay."

"It's wasn't like that."

"Sure."

"I mean… he is reasonably handsome."

"Handsome?" Fitz had apparently come into the room when the two of them weren't paying attention. "He has a metal arm."

"Really Fitz?" Jemma felt that was a pretty low. Of course he had a metal arm, the poor thing. Not like he wanted one, everyone knew that... well, now. Now that she and Fitz had made the reading of the super secret "The Winter Soldier" file in Coulson's desk mandatory reading.

Fitz looked slightly ashamed of himself. "The man was born in 1917."

"Wow," Skye remarked.

"Really?" Jemma's voice pitched, "he doesn't look a day over 30."

"He also held you hostage," Fitz said.

"Oh right, I know. I know… going back there, I guess that's why I'm not feeling too well right now. Maybe a little PTSD."

"Or Stockholm Syndrome," Fitz muttered.

"Fitz," Skye scolded him. "Geez, give her a break. I'm actually surprised she wanted to come back with us to investigate this base."

"That's because I didn't know." Jemma's voice was barely audible under a sofa pillow, where she'd decided to tuck in hoping people would leave her alone. Oh, that's right. One of the nice things about being at The Playground. My. Own. Room. Where people left me alone when I felt sick. Novel concept that one.

Agent Triplett wandered in. "Oh, I see we're all in here having a pow wow?"

"Er, sort of," Fitz said.

"Well, May wanted me to come back to let you know we'd be landing in 15 minutes."

Jemma came out of her burrow, under the pillow. "So soon?"

"Yeah."

Skye met her eyes as Triplett and Fitz left. A look of concern on her face.

"Oh, I'll be fine. It's just the Hydra base where I was held prisoner in a cell with a metal toilet, and a palette for a bed." She laughed a pitifully nervous laugh. "Everything's good yeah. It will be fine." I can't believe I agreed to this.