I have no idea what is happening with this story anymore... I started out wanting to write about an upgraded Spartan that runs around and kills tons of Covenant. Now it's more about a girl who went through a horrid version of hell I wouldn't wish upon my most hated enemies, and has to live with herself. I wanted to do external conflict, but it all just became internal. Whatever, some of you seem to enjoy it, so I'll keep writing. As for writing it, I'm finding it harder and harder to keep tenses while I'm going. More of the internal dialogue is becoming present tense, while the descriptions remain past and it's getting weird.

Okay, Rant over, enjoy the tenth chapter :D (Woohoo I'm into double digits now!)

Chapter 10

AI

She finally stopped shaking. The trip was nearly over, she collapsed on the first day and has not woken up since. The whole time, though, she had been uncontrollably spasming, she would periodically convulse, like a miniature seizure. The ODST had helped put her on a bed and made a couple of straps to keep her in place, but she hasn't tried to get up yet.

But she stopped. I manifested in front of Dutrevai and said, "She's not shaking anymore, we may need those bindings off her soon."

The marine nodded and I tracked her way through the ship to get to Alice. When she arrived, there was no change to the Spartan laying in the bed. But her breathing had evened out, her heart rate had also settled, and her body temperature had cooled down. They all returned to what was normal for Alice, which would be unhealthy for any other human.

A deep seated feeling began to flood from my thoughts. I hadn't realized how worried I had been feeling the whole trip. It felt like a weight was lifting from my processing and I was running at full capacity again. The larger part of me was going to be pissed when he found out. When I found out, that is. It wouldn't be too long now, we're just two days away. Hopefully Alice wakes up before then.

Her conscious thoughts are returning. This could be it. She's back now. She'll wake up and be back, perfectly fine. Just like when she woke up while fighting. She's dreaming now. I can see her dreams. They are confusing, but I'll watch them anyways, maybe I can get a hint at what happened to her through them.

Alice

My eyes felt like they had been sealed shut for years. It took a little too much effort to crack them open and look around. I didn't see anything, but pure white light. I tried to sit up, but I couldn't move. No. Why can't I move? No. No. Not again.

I tried to call out, but all the came out was a low croak. I heard voices dully, like a headache in the back of my mind. Then the straps loosened and I was able to move. My vision was clearing and I saw Dutrevai and Nikolai standing over me, looking extremely worried.

The little blue ball rolled out between them and asked, "Alice, are you alright?"

I looked down at my body and looked up at him. Then I nodded slowly, not entirely sure if I was or not. They all appeared relieved and the two soldiers backed off a little. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and heard the clunk clunk of my boots hitting the deck. Right, I'm on a ship. There's still a long voyage left until we're back to the base.

I looked up at the ball, who moved to my level and I asked, "How long was I out for?"

I felt fairly well rested and really hungry. I stretched my arms a little and stood so I could do more stretches.

Until he replied, "We're almost back at the base, Alice."

I stopped in the middle of pulling on my arm and stared at him. There's no way I was asleep for two weeks. It had felt like a couple hours when I was inside, fighting that shadow thing. I am your soul. Its voice rang through my head. It had more control than I thought, if it took that long.

"Alice, there's less than one day left in our flight." The ball continued. "You collapsed on the first day and spent twelve days shaking in bed. After that you came around and spent another day sleeping. What happened?"

I thought of how I was going to tell him. It wasn't an easy thing to explain. "I was back... in my head, I guess. This time, it was bare, nothing looked Covenant, there were no disguises. The orb from before and a bunch of shadows were all I could see. Then the shadow dude started talking about how he was going to kill me and take over my body and stuff. Then the orb flashed and he was hurt, so I finished him off. Then I woke up here."

"So you killed it again?" The ball asked.

"Yeah, but last time that didn't do much." I replied, sourly.

"It's weird that you were gone for so long, though." He muttered, sounding more like it was to himself than anyone.

"So you have a little world inside your head," Dutrevai asked. "Where you fight shadow people next to an orb of light?"

"It's more than that." The little blue orb interjected. "It's a zone of subconscious where parts of her mind battle for dominance, between her good side, dark side, and conscious self. As far as I can gather, that is."

"Yeah, that seems about right, actually." I agreed. "Though my light side is really boring. It just sits there and looks like a ball of light."

"Just a pure white orb?" The blue ball asked.

"Yeah, I've said that." I nearly snapped at him, but made my tone sound a little more friendly.

"Interesting." He said, he sounded distracted.

My stomach growled loudly at me. I glanced around and asked, "Anyone got food?"

Nikolai handed me a tinfoil wrapped bag. I opened it and inside was a steaming meal. It looked different than the bland rations we had been been eating the whole trip. My mouth began to water, but I held off and gave him a questioning look.

"You need food, not nutrients." The stoic ODST answered my gaze.

Without any further invitation I dug into the real food. I shoveled huge mouthfuls of steamed vegetables and meat into my gullet. I hadn't tasted something real in so long it felt like I was eating gourmet food. I had the whole bag gone in what felt like seconds. I set it to the side and grinned, the feeling of warm food hitting my stomach was heavenly.

"I guess you haven't eaten in a long time, huh?" Dutrevai asked, she had a look of slight amazement on her face. This was the second time I had been watched while eating, both times the spectators were shocked. I looked back on the memory of the first time and realized that it had been the same two watching me then as now.

I chuckled and said, "Any more? I'm still hungry."

Nikolai handed me three 'Meal Ready to Eat's and I sliced them open with my combat knife before digging in. The food was bland to the point of being gross, but the food from before helped me get it all down. It took considerably longer to get through the MREs, but I still ate extremely fast.

When I finished I continued my stretches from earlier. I felt my joints pop and shift around, my muscles stretched out nicely. I didn't reach the point where I couldn't go any further, though. I didn't feel like doing a full routine at the moment, but I was still surprised at the mobility the armour gave me.

Apparently so were the others, "I gotta get me some of that." Dutrevai rapped her knuckle on my Mjolnir plates, looking rather impressed.

"It comes with more than just the armour." I stated. "You need a modified body to wear it. And that hurts."

She nodded slowly, then muttered, "Might just be worth it."

I settled down on the bed again and yawned, my body felt like it had rested well, but my mind was sluggish and tired. I leaned back and closed my eyes, hoping sleep wouldn't elude me for long.

I heard Dutrevai and Nikolai leave, trying to be quiet. I pushed my head further back into the pillow and started to drift. Hopefully I could sleep off the next two days, that way I wouldn't be bored.

Alice

I felt something hard digging into my back and sat up. Around me I saw calm, deep blue waters. I looked down and noticed I had been laying on the bench of a wooden rowboat. The oars were stowed inside, but I saw nothing else with me.

I looked all around and saw nothing in the waters. Deep below I noticed strange movements in the water. I reached down and put my hand in it. When it entered the clear liquid I saw my glove and armour disappear and my bare skin underneath. I immediately withdrew my limb, the armour reformed around it.

I was confused to say the least, so with more than a little curiosity I plunged my arm into the water. I looked at my skin, which was slowly turning translucent. I noticed the veins under it began to show more, they were blue and red and pulsed slightly. I watched, mesmerized by the sight of the blood moving through my body.

Slowly, though the blood, too, became translucent, a yellow liquid replacing it. I could feel it running through my veins, some sort of foreign invader in my bloodstream. The liquid, orangish yellow now, pulsed with light every time my heart pumped. I tried to trace it up my arm, but the view stopped above the water. So I withdrew my arm, the armour appearing back on it, and stepped out into the water.

I stood on top of the calm ocean for a few seconds, then began to sink into it. There were no bubbles or splashes, I just fell inside. With my breath held, I inspected my body. My pale skin shone as the light from above hit it through the refracting water. It made my skin glow, much like the moon outside of Passage. I had dim memories of it from my childhood.

As my skin became clearer, I noticed pinpricks of red all over my body. They appeared in groupings, or just randomly spread around. Upon closer inspection on some on my arms, they seemed to be areas where needles had once been stabbed into me. I could recall only ever receiving a few of the ones I saw, so Halsey must of really done some work. It seemed like so long ago when that happened, a whole other lifetime, even.

I saw, in my peripherals, blonde hair floating beside my head. I moved my arm up and pushed some over. It was blonde, like my old hair, but underneath I could see hints of crimson. I noticed my veins fill with yellow again and looked down. Right next to my heart, there was an odd growth, it appeared to pulsate with my heartbeat. I reached my hand towards it, my hand passed through my skin as it drew near. I immediately pulled my hand back, what the hell had just happened?

Slowly, tentatively I pushed my hand forward. When it got to the point where I would touch my skin, I pressed on. Again, my hand passed through my chest like neither existed. I moved my hand towards the growth, which was glowing yellow, now. I felt heat as my fingers pressed against the strange object. Carefully, I wrapped my fingers around it and felt it pulse. My heartbeat was right beside it, so I felt both. The weird thing felt extremely hot, like it was boiling. This explains my higher heart rate and body temperature, then.

Feeling a little brave, I tightened my grip. I could feel a squeezing sensation in my chest and I felt short on breath. I loosened, slightly and gave it a tug. It felt so incredibly strange, to have an organ inside of me being pulled on. I could see it move outwards, through my transparent hand. I pulled on it, until it popped free from my chest. I held it up to inspect the strange growth that had just been a part of me.

It looked almost like half of a heart and was dripping with the orange-yellow liquid. Disgusted, I dropped it. It sank, ever so slowly, down into the depths of the ocean. Only then did I remember I had been holding my breath. I quickly thrashed up to the surface and gulped in a massive gust of air. It felt like I had sucked in fire as the oxygen spread through my body. An odd feeling of freedom accompanied the burning sensation. My muscles felt less tense and I relaxed, sinking below the surface again.

My blood turned red again and flowed through my veins with renewed vigor. I could see the white specks of oxygen flowing through the blue and red tubes. I relished in the feeling of being free that I had just experienced. It felt so inexplicably good. I began to drift, slowly falling asleep on the odd tingly sensation.

AI

Something really strange just happened. Her heart rate just started flying between low and high, her body temperature, too. I could see into her dream, which was extremely strange. She just… That was fake though. That was her imagination. There's no way she could have just affected her real body.

Yet as I scanned using her suit's basic functions, I noticed that there was, indeed, a growth next to her heart. And now it had stopped beating with her. She had dreamed of it, then crushed it, and it had died. I have no words to describe the weirdness of that.

Something moved in her chest. My scans showed muscles contracting. The growth slowly shifted away from her heart, until it tore free. Her body moved on its own to shift the organ down towards her throat. Then it pressed against the tunnel, I watched in horror as the growth ripped through the thin walls of flesh and entered her esophagus.

She's waking up now, holy shit, what do I do? How do I explain this?!

Alice

Pain. It felt like my insides had caught fire. I felt something rising in my throat and rolled off the bed. My legs and hands hit the deck with a loud clang. I coughed, feeling the strange object rising up. Blood spewed forth onto the ground. I coughed more and gagged, blood flew all over my hands. I pushed one up against my mouth and sputtered out more blood.

I looked around in panic, trying to find someone for help. Then I felt it, the large object in my throat. It crawled up my breathing tube and began to enter my mouth. I tried to scream, but it blocked my airways. I coughed and gagged again, this time it flew out, into my hand. I lowered my head and puked up blood, gore, and a lot of food.

When I had finally finished clearing my system I looked up at the strange thing that had just forced its way out of me. It was the same as the thing on my heart from my dream. My vision began to darken as I stared at the oddly shaped organ, I felt tired, all I wanted was more rest.

AI

What.

What did I just watch… I looked through the unrevealing scans and saw her throat closing and healing rapidly. I used a few cameras to get a good look at the strange organ she was holding. It was flat, looked kind of like half of a heart and oozed some strange amber liquid.

My databanks gave no clue as to what it was, but that wasn't a surprise. Now the larger me is really gonna be pissed. If I were it, I would be too. I kind of wish I could unsee that, fascinating as it was. I just saw a human forcefully eject a dead body part, through the esophagus. Not something you see every day.

I looked and searched and troubleshot until I had exhausted all the limited resources available to me, but still no answer came. Nothing. Nothing like this had ever happened, at least to my knowledge. I will have to look into this after exiting slipspace, for sure.

AI (Outside of Slipspace)

Memories. I peered at the files I had just uncovered apprehensively. Somehow, before his death, they were able to preserve his… My… Memories. What would happen when I viewed them? What would change? Would I become more human, or would they automatically delete like accessing Alice's subconscious?

I began to split myself off again. Whatever happened, I wouldn't dare do it to all of me, not while waiting for Alice's return. I can't even imagine what could go wrong at this point, I've already thought of every scenario where something bad could happen. The worry is actually eating away at me, my processes grew slower, my thinking more slurred.

Fuck it. I need something to take my mind off the worry, the emotions. I finished the split and opened the file. Suddenly, I was transported away. I could see, feel, hear, smell, taste. I was alive. I felt a pulsation running through my body, I realized it was a heartbeat. My toes flexed as I kept my balance, I could feel muscle and flesh moving within me. Everything was different, yet somehow similar to how I currently 'lived'.

I looked around, I was standing around, probably waiting for something. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, a person came around. They were massive, nearly five times larger than me. Their arms swooped down and scooped me up. I could see it was a mother, probably.

Mom. I knew it. Recognition dawned on me, I could see her as I used to. I had parents. I had a life. I was alive, once.

Dad. A man entered to the left. I felt so shocked I couldn't do anything, but the memories did it all for me.

They started moving faster, there were huge areas that had time gaps in them, I only seemed to recall specific events and times. After a while the vivid dream-like memories turned into flashes of light. Is this what Alice went through? It must have been, or extremely similar, at least.

I looked back onto the life I had just witnessed, it was incredibly long. I had been alive for two years, which seemed to only equate to about fifteen or so human years. The human me had live for nearly eighty four. From his… my, earliest memory to when I became an AI and died, all of it flooded through me, consuming every process of thought that I had allocated to this segment.

More than the images and feeling, though, there was emotion. It was like a never-ending painfulness that seeped into my very being. There was so much sadness and loss, too many people I had loved once. Even the death of my first dog resounded and risked bursting from me.

I felt the other section of me probe and look if it was safe. I sent it a warning message, letting myself know I needed more time to make sure I wasn't going to self destruct, somehow. I was going to need a while to sort through this mess. It was going to be a long time before we could synchronize again. A very, very long time.