The Rules That River Song (Never) Follows - Harry Potter edition

by Wall With A Fez

Someone creates a list of rules for River Song to follow when she goes to Hogwarts and of course she decides to break them. Series of one shots, centred around River Song. Pairings Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Amy/Rory, River/11 and mentioned River/Voldemort. Rated T for language that may or may not be in there, I honestly can't remember.

10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sorry for lack of updates just school has restarted. YAY!

BTW What makes you beautiful belongs to One Direction.

Never Challenge A Mountain Troll To Naked Hide And Seek

The Philosopher's Stone

Prompt by Sakura Lisel (hopefully this game is suitable)

"Hello," River said to the mountain troll she found in the cellar,

"hello," it replied, she grinned, pleased that she could speak troll.

"What's your name?" she asked,

"Moffat," he replied,

"cool, my name is River Song," she told him.

"do you want to play with me?" he asked, River smiled, realising it was only a child troll,

"of course, lets play naked hide and seek," she told him.

"Ok,"

"but first we need more people."

"Cullen you sparkly emo vampire, you will come with me or you will die," River said threatening Cedric Diggory with her wand. He obeyed.

"Oliver Wood you will come with me or I'll destroy your broom," River said, threatening the Gryffindor Quiditch captain.

"Percy you will come with me or I will control you and make you fail your OWLs," she threatened the Gryffindor prefect.

After 5 minutes, Cedric Diggory, Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, River Song and Moffat were in the dungeon.

"You can hide anywhere in the school," River told the boys,

"what about our clothes?"

"you can get them when Moffat has found you," River told him,

"can't we get expelled for running through Hogwarts naked?" Cedric asked,

yep," River told them cheerfully. Then Moffat made them take off their clothes.

River hid in the Potions class room but forgot she charmed the door,

"baby you light up my world like nobody else," One Direction sung,

"oh fuck," a naked River swore, she stood there for a second and then heard the footsteps of Argus Filch,

"oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, " said whisped.

Then River heard a noise, she looked up just in time to see the door opening but before it was fully open she felt a gust of wind and something materialising around her.

"River," she heard the Doctor say,

"hello Sweetie," she replied,

"why are you naked?" he asked,

"I was just playing a game of naked hide and seek," she told him,

"River you can't do things like that, you're 12,"

"no I'm not, I'm probably around 60 now," she told him doing a mental calculation of her age.

"In a 12 year olds body,"

"just like you then," she replied cheekily, he looked down at himself,

"I'm not 12,"

"you so are," River said walking past him to the wardrobe,

"River,"

"yes,"

"your parents are coming."
"Shit."