December Desolation Chapter 10
A/N: Enjoy guys, the talk between the brothers.
"We need to talk"
Those four fateful words hung in the air between them, a prickle of discomfort spreading down Aramis' spine at the prospect of the coming conversation. From his vantage point on Porthos' lap he felt safe enough to allow himself to sink into an almost meditative daze, contemplating the events that had led up to this moment, the hurt and terror that had run rampant through him.
"Aramis...are you...Aramis...what's... ARAMIS!"
The shout of his name jerked him abruptly from his pensive state, head jerking up in shock and wide startled eyes focussed on Athos' concerned face. Wiping a shaking hand across his sweating brow he swallowed determinedly and nodded in response to Athos' call.
"I'm fine Athos" he smiled weakly "merely a little... distracted"
"We've noticed, on more than one occasion" Porthos nodded his agreement.
"Well i'm not surprised" Aramis chuckled dryly "I can't remember an instance in the past few months where I have not been distracted"
His two brothers grimaced, once again reminded that they had neglected their brother in his moments of need.
"Why did you not talk to us?" Porthos implored "you know you are our brother and we would do anything for you, so why not talk to us?"
"How could I!" Aramis seemed suddenly incensed, hands curling into fists as he struggled to pull away from his brothers arms "I am a Musketeer, we are supposed to be brave, honourable and fight for justice. How am I supposed to do that if I fall to pieces at the merest glimpse of snow, how can I be a brother to you all! Besides by the time I realised it was causing significant issues, it was too late. Athos was almost killed and you couldn't bear to even look at me, even the way D'artagnan looked" he paused briefly to smother a sob "I realised then that I could never look after you and that to prevent any harm coming to you on my account then I had to let you go"
"Aramis" they whispered in unison, horrified at the low self worth their brother harboured for himself.
Athos surprised himself by reaching forward and grabbing his brothers hand by the wrist, initiating physical contact for the first time in many years and pulling his hand away from rubbing at his slightly glistening eyes.
Opening his mouth to begin demolishing the nonsense arguments of his brother, he was interrupted by a hesitant knock on the door and a call of his name. He sighed in irritation and strode briskly to the door, pulling it violently open and narrowly avoiding smashing himself in the face he barked out a "what" to the startled knocker.
D'artagnan reared back in shock at the hostility in his brothers voice, unaccustomed to having such vitriol aimed at him from his mentor. "I am sorry Athos, I did not realise that I was interrupting and merely wished to enquire after Aramis' health" he hung his head miserably, dark hair forming a curtain around his face as he whispered sadly "I feel terrible"
Uncharacteristically for Athos, he reached out and wrapped his arms around their youngest brother, pulling him into a comforting hug and simultaneously manoeuvring him into the room to join them, toeing the door shut behind him. After plonking him down into a straight backed chair beside the bed, he awkwardly extricated himself from the tactile young man and faced the other men in the room, "well look who decided to join us" he smiled, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
The young Gascon sheepishly met the eyes of his fellow brothers, particularly those of Aramis, the dark circles and red rims testament to sleepless nights and heightened emotions "are you alright?" he asked tentatively.
His response was a slow nod and a pale elegant hand patting the bed sheets in an invitation to sit, one which D'artagnan accepted gratefully desperate to alleviate some weight from his weary legs. Once he had settled next to his brother, he carefully rested a hand over Aramis' and squeezed in an attempt to comfort, "I am glad"
"As are we all" Athos agreed with an almost non-existent smile ghosting around his lips, "I for one cannot imagine life without you in it Aramis, it is no secret that I am not a model human being and I am unable to even begin to understand how to comport myself amongst others. I do not attempt to absolve myself of blame in all of this but I plead for understanding in my ignorance of your plight my brother. If I had known then I would have endeavoured to aid you."
Porthos beamed happily at Athos, surprised but pleased at the rare display of affection by his brother. "I as well apologise Aramis" he began "I was ignorant and neglectful in my care for you and while I am not as gifted with words as Athos, I will try to convey my regret tastefully."
Before he could continue, Aramis raised a thin finger to his lips, bidding them to be quiet as he gestured to D'artagnan who had gradually slid further down in the bed. His shining mahogany hair creating a blanket where his head lay upon Aramis' lap, having succumbed to the pull of sleep sometime during their conversation.
Smiling fondly down at the sleeping gascon he rested a hand upon his head and began stroking a hand through his hair, "I appreciate all your words and in some time maybe I shall come to believe them but we shall continue this conversation at some other point, once we are all well rested. Now Athos please would you consent to reading for us? I know it will help settle D'art and... I would appreciate it"
Startled Athos nodded and reaching into the bookshelf beside him, surfaced with a work of Shakespeare which he cracked open and lovingly caressing the pages of the tome began to read into the contented silence of the room.
A/N: Thankyou for continuing to read this guys! Don't forget to review and i'll have the next chapter up soon for you with the continuation of their conversation! :D