Chapter 9: Don't Bother
EPOV
"Ecy! Please can I go with you? Pleeeeease." She begged and pulled on my pant leg. I had the weekend off from working for the newspaper, but that didn't stop me from heading to the coffee shop to see Bella. I felt bad having to leave Alice behind for the morning, but I didn't want to just show up with her without giving Bella some kind of warning.
Plus, Alice could get really crazy, and she probably wouldn't sit still the whole time we were in the coffee shop. I mean, I guess I could have given her a muffin to shut her up, but that includes sugar which would make her more hyper, and then I would just get aggravated, and yeah…just not today.
"I will be back soon and then we can do whatever you want." I told her. Bella usually had an early class on Saturday, so she left at the normal time. That will give me a whole day with Alice. Especially since I didn't have to sleep during the day and she didn't have school.
"You are a meany head." She said and crossed her arms and stomped out of the room.
I sighed as I finished tying my shoes and put my new black beanie on my head. I went after her and found her in the living room on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. Bev was in her room making her bed for her.
I sat down beside her and crossed my arms as well. "I will be back, Alice. It's not a big deal."
She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't care."
"You obviously do."
"Well you don't even like me anyway!" She said and did the whole head snapping thing that little girls do when they are giving someone an attitude. Actually, I am pretty sure grown adults do it as well.
"Oh come on, Alice. You know that's not true."
"Then why can't I go with you?"
"Because I have stuff to do. I will be back soon. Don't be mad at me." I didn't mean to make her upset, but I think I was allowed some time to myself. It's not like me going out for an hour means I was neglecting her or that I didn't care. Right? I don't fucking know. I am still not hip to these parenting duties. It was hard though because I was also her brother.
"Did you mean what you said when you said we could do anything after?" She asked with some kind of idea in her eyes. I was scared.
"Yes."
"Okay." Was all she said. She stood up on the couch and took my beanie off my head.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"I get to keep this too." She said and put my beanie over her head, covering her messy bed hair. I really wanted to wear my new fucking beanie, but I couldn't burst her bubble once again. The kid is lucky. That's all I have to say.
"You're a meany." I said and got up from the couch. I picked up one of the pillows from the couch and hit her with it, causing her to giggle. I grabbed my keys off the coffee table.
"Bye, Ecy. Hurry up!" I laughed and pulled the beanie over her eyes causing her to laugh again.
"Bev, I'm leaving!" I called out to her.
"Alright, child, see you later." Bev didn't know about Bella. Maybe I would tell her. I mean, I know Bev wouldn't make fun of me for having a new friend or anything. She would probably be happy for me. I wouldn't do that without asking Bella though.
I got in my truck and lit a cigarette so I wouldn't be itching for one when I got there. On the drive there, I thought more about introducing Bella to Bev, or maybe even Alice. Would it be awkward? Would she even want to? Does she see us as that kind of friends? Ones that will be friends for a long time?
I don't know. I bet I could even ask her and she wouldn't mind. She was so honest, I am sure whatever her answer was, I knew it would be the truth. She was extraordinary.
When she was telling me about her insecurities, I wanted to take them away from her. She doesn't need to be feeling that way. She was so amazing and she was going to do great things, I am sure. It meant a lot to me that she told me all of that, but it still wasn't enough for me to tell her about my past. I don't even like thinking about it, so I know it would be even harder to say it. My childhood was just…I don't know. Again, I don't like thinking about it.
I flicked my cigarette out the window as I pulled up to the coffee shop. Bella was already there. The chip in my brain started to ease a little since I knew she was near. I walked inside, and looked over at our table. She was sitting there, which made me happy, and I smiled. She looked up at me, and gave me her own winning smile. She waved me over and pointed to a cup of coffee in front of her. So thoughtful.
I went over to her, and sat down across from her. I got a good view of her beautiful face and I got goosebumps. I am fucking weird, I know this. But I blame her; she is the one that planted this stupid chip that messes with all my emotions.
"Hey, dude. You're hair looks extra crazy today." She said while smiling at me.
I instinctively brought my hands to my hair, and it was indeed sticking up more than usual. "That was because I was assaulted by a six year old thief with a thing for my beanies." I said as I tried to smooth down my hair a little.
Bella laughed, and kept her eyes on my hair. "Why didn't you take it back?"
I shrugged and just gave up on my hair. "She was mad at me, I needed to give her at least one reason to like me today."
"Oh no, what did you do?"
I took a sip of my coffee before answering. "I left. She wanted to come."
Her face got sad. "Oh you don't have work today?" She asked. I shook my head. "Well you could have stayed with her, Edward. I don't want to interfere with your life, and make your sister get mad at you…"
"It's not a big deal, Bella." She just shook her head, and she really seemed bothered by it for some reason. "She got over it; I will go back to her."
She sighed. "I know, but I just kind of…I don't know."
"What?" She couldn't just leave that hanging. I wanted to know what was bothering her so I could fix it. If I didn't, that fucking chip would be nagging me until I knew she was okay. "Just tell me."
"Do you ever think of us seeing each other outside of the coffee shop?" She asked.
"Um…" Have I thought about it? Yes. Do I think we could? Sure. Was I afraid to even ask her? Hell yes. "I don't see anything stopping us."
A huge smile spread across her face and she let out a little squeal. Wow, do I really make her that happy? "Where would you want to go?"
"You really would want to?"
Her face fell a little. "Of course I want to, Edward. I would love the opportunity to spend more time with you."
Well there goes the chip again. It got into that part of my brain that controls my heart and stomach. I got a really weird fluttering feeling in my stomach and my heart started beating faster. "Me too." I said.
She smiled. "Good. Would it be a little too soon if I asked for today?"
"Don't you have class?" I asked.
"Yeah, but it ends around eleven. I mean if you don't want to, that's fine. And I know you have Alice and all that…"
"Do you want to meet Alice?" What. The. Fuck. Did I just say that? Fucking chip I tell you…makes me say things without thinking. But would it be so bad if Bella met Alice? Something told me no. Plus, if she wanted to be friends with me, or whatever the hell you call our relationship, she will have to learn to be around Alice. Alice is who keeps me around.
Bella seemed just as surprised by my question as I was. "Um…wow…I mean I already met her." She said and swallowed. She looked nervous or maybe just a little overwhelmed. Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
"I know, but what if you meet her as my friend? If you don't want to, that is fine. I get it. I mean she is a kid, and I would understand if you didn't want to deal with that kind of stuff, but she isn't going anywhere…"
"Edward, stop." She said as I was rambling. Must be this fucking chip messing with my nerves. "I would love that. I can't tell you how much that means to me, that you are willing to introduce her to me as your friend."
My nerves seemed to diminish a little. "Okay, well I will text you or call you later about details because I promised her we would do whatever she wanted to do today, so I will have to schedule it around that."
Her beautiful smile was back, and I was still amazed that I could bring that kind of happiness to her. It also scared me though. There was still so much she didn't know about me. So much about my past and just about who I was that was still a mystery to her, and it scared me. Right now she only knows the first layer of who I was. Once she got deeper, and found out more, I was afraid she would run. I would run from me too.
"That is perfectly fine, as long as it is after eleven, I am free." She said with a smile. I nodded my head and took another sip of my coffee. "So I was thinking, I don't know your favorite movie." She said.
I chuckled. "Veto." I said.
"Are you kidding me?" She asked.
"Yeah, I just like to see you squirm."
"You're an ass."
"Deal with it." I said. "Saving Private Ryan." I answered for her.
"Really?"
"Nope, it's Legally Blonde."
"Yeah, right. Like I am supposed to believe that." She said with a roll of her eyes.
"It's Saving Private Ryan."
"Oh…I thought that movie was kind of boring." She said.
"Are you serious?" I asked, like she just told me she genuinely believed in unicorns. She was crazy! "You obviously haven't watched that movie with the right person."
She shrugged. "Maybe you could watch it with me one day."
"Yeah, I guess I could." Her smile got wider and I smiled back.
"My favorite movie is Benchwarmers."
"What the fuck is that?"
"You have never seen Benchwarmers?" She asked like it was the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard.
"It is the funniest movie ever!" She said, sounding like a little kid. "I will make you watch that one with me."
"I can't wait." I said sarcastically in an excited, girly voice. That earned me a piece of muffin to the face, but I was used to getting things thrown at me by her. Weird.
"Anyways…hm…who is your favorite actress?"
I shrugged. "I don't fucking know. Am I supposed to have one?"
"Oh come on, there isn't one that you think is like super hot or anything?"
I shook my head. "Not really. Looks don't really mean too much to me. There are only a few people I would even call pretty."
She looked shocked. "Wow, really?"
"Yes. Looks do mean something, but not everything."
"That is true." She agreed. I nodded my head, and took a sip of my coffee. "So you say there are only a couple of people you think are pretty." She seemed a little nervous to ask this question. "Who are they?"
Should I veto this question? I don't think it was necessary. I just wished I knew what she would think. I would be completely honest with her. "There are only a couple I can think of right now."
"Will you tell me?" She asked, looking up at me nervously. I didn't want her to be that nervous talking to me.
"Well, I would say my neighbor, Beverly."
Her face turned red. "Who is that?" She asked almost not so nicely. Could she be...jealous? Holy shit.
"She is my neighbor. She is seventy-four years old."
That last part seemed to have calmed her down just a little. Wow. She really was jealous. "Oh."
"Yes. She helped me out a lot when I needed it, and because of who she is, she is pretty to me."
"That's really nice, Edward." She said with a smile of admiration on her face.
"The next person would definitely have to be Alice." I said. "She is pretty cute, but she really is a good kid."
"Because of you." Bella said.
"Despite me." I said back. It was true. Alice was everything I wasn't, and that is what makes her so great.
"I don't agree with that, but that can be used for another time." She said. "Who else?"
"There is only one other."
"Really?" She asked.
I nodded. "You."
She froze. Oh shit, was that laying it on too thick? What the hell was wrong with me? I don't even know if she wants me to see her that way. Oh fuck, I fucking suck at everything I do when it comes to human interaction. I should be put in a home or something. I looked down at the table and rubbed the back of my neck while I waited for a reply.
"Thank you." She said, and her voice was a little different.
I looked up at her, and panic built up inside me when I saw her wiping away a tear. Tears always make me nervous. Well, tears on other people make me nervous. I can't even remember the last time I cried. I quit that way early in life.
"Whoa, are you okay? I didn't mean to make you cry, Bella…"
She let out a small laugh and wiped a final tear from her eyes. "No, don't worry about it, Edward. I am a very emotional person, I cry at everything."
"Oh…well don't do that." I said.
She laughed. "I can't help it, Edward! I'm sorry, but I wasn't expecting you to say that."
She really had no idea? "Oh, well it's true. You are a very beautiful woman." Somehow I felt that wasn't a good enough explanation, and I did something I don't normally do. I said what I felt. "Not just on the outside. You actually talk to me, and care for what I have to say. You look past all of my shit, and you deal with me. That makes you beautiful to me." I looked at her again and she was wiping away more tears. "Stop that, Bella!" I said and covered my face with my hands.
She laughed. "I'm sorry; that was the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, Edward."
"It's true."
"You know, I feel the same way." I looked up at her curiously. She does? "I know you may not think so, and that makes me sad, but I want to make you see what I see. Because you are beautiful to me."
"That's because you are crazy."
She laughed and wiped her face. "Maybe. I'd rather be crazy than not have known you."
"Spoken like a true head case."
"Shut up, jerk-face. I'll slap you again…don't tempt me."
I chuckled. "A violent head case. What have I gotten myself into?"
"Har, Har." She said and took a bite of her muffin. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I took it out. Alice. Great, I am going to get yelled at.
"You mind?" I asked Bella, and she just waved the hand that wasn't holding the muffin at me to continue. "Hello?"
"Ecy, it has been a bunch of time. Come home."
"Alice, I have been gone for at least a half an hour." I said and rested my head on my hand. Alice was in one of those moods today. The moods that gave me a headache. She can be clingy when she wanted to.
"Well still! Come on, I am bored!"
"What about Bev?"
"Bev isn't feeling good."
"Really?" Well nice of her to tell me.
"Yes. Come. Home."
"Hey, you aren't my boss, little missy."
She laughed, and so did Bella. I smiled over at her and rolled my eyes. "Ecy! Come home! Pleeeease."
"I'll be there in ten minutes." I said. I figured it would be alright since I would get to see Bella later. Plus, a little time with Alice sounded good.
She squealed. "Yay! Bye, Ecy!" She said and hung up before I could even say bye.
I looked over at Bella and saw the amused expression on her face. "You sure you want to meet her?"
"I already like her." She said. "So I guess you have to go, huh?" She asked.
"Yeah, but I figured since we are making plans later, it would be alright."
"Oh yeah, sure. Just text or call me, you got my number."
I started getting up. "I will. See ya later, chick."
"See ya, homeboy." She said. I just snorted. What a beautiful, crazy, weirdo. And she thinks I'm beautiful.
How the hell did this happen?
"Think fast!" Alice said. I looked up at her, and she threw a grape at me.
"Aw, come on, that's not fair. You didn't give me enough time." I said. We were eating a late breakfast which consisted of toast and fruit. I try to keep things healthy. Not just because I have diabetes, but because Alice needs to be healthy.
"Fine." She said and took another grape between her fingers. I opened my mouth in preparation, and she threw it at me. She had to be all tricky and shit though, and aimed way far from my mouth. I have good reflexes though, and I caught it in my mouth. She laughed. "I wish I could do that!"
I reached for one of the grapes from the bag. "Essaye." I said. Try. I always wanted her to at least try new things. She could do anything she wanted.
"Oui, Monsieur." She said. Her French was almost flawless at this point. I would need to start using other languages around her. She opened her mouth and I lightly threw it. She moved her head a little, and she got it. "Yes!"
"Bom trabalho, garota. Está vendo? Você pode fazer qualquer coisa, basta tentar." I said, and she looked at me curiously and listened to my words.
"What was that one?"
"Portuguese."
"Oooh." She said. "What did you say?"
"I said, good job, kid. See, you can do anything if you try."
"Say it in Portuguese again?" And so I did. She was very interested in learning about the languages I knew. I was glad she did. Learning those languages used to be my only mean of escape. At first, I hated it, but then I realized how it is good to know for what I wanted to do with my life. That was all in the past now, though. At least I could now use that knowledge to teach Alice.
I was in the middle of teaching her new words in Portuguese, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out, and I had a text from Bella.
I am all free if you are still up for it.
I sighed. I was still up for it, but I was being a wimp. I was afraid of what Alice will say. "Hey, Alice?" I said.
"Yes?" She asked with her mouth full of grapes.
"How would you feel about meeting a friend of mine?"
She gave me a confused look. "You have a friend?" See, even my six year old sister knew I wasn't exactly the friendly type. I'm a sad individual.
"Yes, I met her a little while ago."
"It's a girl?" She asked excitedly and stood up on her chair. "Ecy has a girlfriend!"
I picked up a grape and threw it at her. She laughed. "She isn't my girlfriend. She is a girl that is a friend."
"Mhm, that's what they all say, until they start doing kissy, kissy."
What the hell? "How do you know all this stuff? You're six."
"And you're like one hundred. Who cares?"
I rolled my eyes. I need to monitor what this kid watches better from now on. "Well do you want to meet her or not?"
"Yes!" She said with so much enthusiasm in her voice.
"Okay, what do you want to do?"
"Let's go to the movies! Then you can kiss her in there!"
"Alice! I am not going to kiss her, she is my friend!" Where the hell is she getting this from?
"Oh fine. Can we just go to the park?"
"Sure." I texted Bella again asking her if she wanted to go to the park in about twenty minutes. Her reply was instant.
I would love to. See you there in 20.
I couldn't help the smile from forming on my face. "Aww Ecy loves her." Alice sang and pinched my cheek. My smile went away and I took my beanie off her head.
"Shut it, short stuff. Go get ready." I put the beanie back on my head and went out the door. I went next door to Bev's apartment and knocked on the door. There wasn't an answer right away, and I started to worry a little bit. Alice wasn't lying when she said Bev wasn't feeling good. I heard footsteps though, and she opened the door.
"Hi, Edward." She said.
"You still feeling shitty?" I asked her.
She chuckled. "Yeah, just some kind of stomach bug I guess."
"Well Alice and I are going out; you want me to bring you something back?"
"Yeah, some ginger ale, please."
She knew I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. She knows that I hate how much money she spends on me, so she knew she would have to let me do this for her. "Okay, we will be back a little later."
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"Oh you know…the park. Going to meet a friend. See you later, Bev." I said quickly. I was doing some wishful thinking if I thought Bev would just let that go. I turned to walk away, and she grabbed my ear.
"Oh no you don't." She said. I groaned. "Who is this friend?"
"Can you let go of my ear, woman?" She chuckled and let go. "Her name is Bella."
"It's a girl?" She asked with the same tone as Alice. Damn, I really do freaking suck at life. I nodded my head. "And you are blushing, oh child, you got yourself a girlfriend."
"I do not. She is my friend. Jesus, can't a guy have a friend who is a girl?"
"Is she pretty?"
"Leave me alone, Beverly. I am leaving." I said and started to walk away.
She laughed. "Have fun, lover boy!" She called out. I just ignored her. It wasn't fair. I didn't need this abuse. I walked back into my apartment and Alice was trying to tie her shoes. I squatted down in front of her and took over the tying duties. She didn't say anything, and she didn't seem like she was in as much of a hyper mood as before. Weird.
"Do you think she will like me?" She asked nervously. Oh, that's why.
"Ela vai pensar que você é a melhor garotinha que existe." I said with a smile.
She smiled even though she didn't know what I said. "What did you say?"
"She will think you are the best little girl." I said and I pinched her nose, causing her to giggle. "Don't worry about it, Alice. You'll always be my favorite girl."
She threw herself at me and hugged me tight around the neck. "Thank you, Ecy."
"You're welcome." I said and unwrapped her arms from around my neck, and stood up. "Plus, you have already met her." I started heading out the door, and she followed me out.
"I have?"
"Yes you have. She works at your school. Do you know Ms. Swan?"
I felt a pull on my shirt on the stairs. I looked behind me at Alice, and she had a big smile on her face. "Your friend is Ms. Swan?"
"Yes."
She squealed. "Yay! She's so pretty!"
I know.
She is sitting on the bench. The wind is blowing around her and I watch as her hair was blowing softly with it. She was looking down at her lap, and I seriously just couldn't wait to see her face. Alice was skipping ahead of me. Bella was going to be getting her ear talked off today, I just knew it. For some reason, I didn't think Bella would mind.
"Excuse me! Bella this is Alice over here!" Alice called out and I laughed. Who says that? The ride up here was mostly spent with me telling Alice about Bella. She asked so many questions, it made the ten minute ride to the park feel like forever.
Bella revealed her beautiful face to me when she looked behind her at Alice's words. A breathtaking smile appeared on her face, and I couldn't help smiling. I swear I smiled more these past couple weeks than I have in the last couple of years. That was really saying something.
It didn't surprise me when Alice ran right up to Bella and gave her a big hug around the waist. I envied her ability to just touch someone. I wish I could just walk right up to Bella and hug her. I don't know why I couldn't…maybe I do, but my childhood isn't something I like thinking about.
Bella hugged her back with just as much enthusiasm. "I remember you!" Alice yelled and started bouncing up and down.
"I remember you too!" Bella said. She grabbed Alice's hands and started jumping with her. Damn, since when was my life infested with overhyped girls?
"You're friends with, Ecy?" Alice asked. Why she was so excited about this, I would never know, but it's better than her being all mean to Bella, or her not wanting me to be her friend. I wanted Bella to be around for a while longer. The chances were less than likely, but I could revel in her while she was here.
"Yes I am."
"Why?"
"I don't know, I ask myself that question every day."
"Should I just leave you both to your own Edward bashing party?" I asked.
"Yup, see you later, Ecy!" Alice said. I chuckled and sat down on the bench. I crossed my arms in front of me.
"Whatever." I said and shrugged my shoulders. Alice climbed up on the bench, and took the beanie off my head.
"Kay. You can stay here and be a baby." She said and put the beanie on her head. Bella laughed and Alice grabbed her hand. "Come on, Bella." She said. They both walked away swinging their hands in between them, and they really left me there!
I groaned and followed after them. I zipped up my hoodie more and put the hood up. It was colder than I thought it would be outside. Plus my hair probably looked like shit since my hat was stolen once again. I walked up to Bella's side and she looked over at me. She gave me a sweet smile and I smiled back. Alice was doing what Alice does, and was talking Bella's ear off. She talked about school, and Bev, and me and whatever came to her little mind. Bella was a good sport though, and she reacted and gave her own input. She was really good with kids, and I am sure she would make a great teacher.
It was good to know Bella and Alice really hit it off. I should have known I shouldn't have been nervous. Alice is really outgoing and friendly, and Bella is just…Bella. Perfect.
"Oh, Ecy! It's Olivia!"
I looked up, and sure enough, there was Olivia. Olivia was Alice's friend from school. "Go play with her then." I said.
"Do you mind, Bella? You will have to stay with boring Edward."
I just laughed. I was used to the abuse. Bella laughed as well. "I think I will be good." She said. Alice nodded her head and fixed my beanie on her head before running off. "She is so ridiculously cute." Bella commented as she looked after her.
"She gets it from me." I said sarcastically. That was the biggest fib I have ever told.
"I know she does." Bella said sincerely. Something really was wrong with her, but that little kink was what made her so special to me. When she said stuff like that to me though, I got fucking scared. I know I can't give her what she needs. I know I have my own share of problems that she doesn't even know of yet. I know all this, but I still keep going back to her.
"Want to just sit here?" I said gesturing towards the bench. I wanted to be able to keep an eye on Alice, and get to talk to Bella as well. She nodded and sat down beside me. Bella wasn't really prepared for this weather either and she wrapped her arms around herself, and rubbed her arms, trying to create some friction.
I unzipped my hoodie and handed it over to her. When she felt the fabric hit her arm, she looked over at me quizzically. "Are you giving that to me?" She asked.
"Well I would like it back at some point, but for now, yes." I said. She smiled at me, but otherwise pushed the hoodie away.
"You will freeze. I am fine." I shrugged and put the hoodie in between us.
"Fine. I will just leave it there then." I said and leaned back on the bench. It wasn't that bad out. We both sat in stubborn silence with our arms crossed in front of us. We had our own little competition going on between us that no one else would have known about and I liked it. I started whistling to be an ass basically. I heard her teeth chatter and I knew I was close to winning.
Then when I heard the groan of frustration come from her, I knew victory was mine. "Fine! You win." I laughed and looked over to her as she put my hoodie on. She zipped it up and crossed her arms again. It was really big on her, and she was practically swimming in it, but I don't think I ever saw her looking as cute or sexy as she did in that moment.
"See? Now was that so hard?"
"You don't even know." She said.
I laughed. I did know. I hated losing too. I turned a little on the bench, and faced her. "You're good with Alice." I said.
She smiled at me. "It's not hard. She is a great kid." I nodded in agreement. "You seem more relaxed around her. It's nice."
I shrugged. "I don't know why. That's just how it is I guess."
"She obviously thinks the world of you."
I snorted. "Are you kidding? She has been harassing me this whole time." I said jokingly. I knew Alice thought highly of me, I just didn't like to admit it to myself because it scared me that she did.
"Yeah, but I don't think you see how much her face lights up when she looks at you." I just shrugged and looked down at the bench and started peeling away a piece of paint on it. I didn't know what to say to that. "You okay, Edward?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said instantly. I wasn't good with that kind of stuff, and it all goes back to that time in my life. I don't want to fucking think about it. I will fall over the edge…I just know it.
"I think you're lying."
"Just drop it, Bella."
She sighed. I knew she was mad, but she wouldn't say it because she was giving me time. What if I take too long? What if she gets sick of waiting? Would it really hurt to tell her about my past? "Do you want me to go?" She asked.
I was pulled out of my thoughts instantaneously and I looked right at her. "No, of course not."
"Good, because I didn't want to leave. I don't want to be here just make you uncomfortable."
"You don't make me uncomfortable it's just…"
"Just what? Come on, Edward. You can tell me."
I looked over to where Alice was, and saw she was running over. "We can talk later." I said.
Bella sighed, but otherwise put on a happy face for Alice when she approached. Alice stopped in front of us with the beanie half off her head, her cheeks all red, and dirt on her jeans. "Ecy, can I go over Olivia's house?"
"Uh…sure. Where are her parents?"
"They are over there. Want me to go get them?"
"Just bring us over to them." I said. Bella got up with me as we followed a skipping Alice to Olivia's parents. I met Olivia's mother many times, but never her father. I let her go over their place a lot, but at least had to check with them if it was alright. Olivia's mother was one of those soccer Moms. I mean, there is nothing wrong with that, but she fit the stereotype to a tee. Olivia's father must have been a business man of some sort. He was wearing jeans with a blue button up shirt, and slicked back blonde hair.
"Oh hi, Edward. Nice to see you." Jessica said.
"Hi, Jessica. This is my friend, Bella." I said, just so Bella didn't feel awkward. Bella gave her a wave and a hello, and Jessica gave her a polite nod.
"Oh, and this is my husband, Mike. Mike, this is Edward." She said to the man who looked over to me with a smile. Each tooth was perfectly white. He extended his hand out to me, and I stiffened. Fuck. I don't want to seem like a jerk, but I cannot shake his hand.
"Ah!" Alice screamed from my side at the top of her lungs. All of our eyes landed on her and she was clutching her arm and tears were starting to come to her eyes. I began to panic once again and I instantly was kneeling in front of her.
"What's wrong?" I asked frantically. She started crying more and she threw her arms around my neck.
"A bee stung me!" She cried into my neck. Fuck, I didn't know what to do about a bee sting.
"Oh, Alice honey, let me see it." Jessica said.
"No!" Alice shouted. "I want Ecy to look at it."
"Alice, I don't know what to do. What if Bella helps?" I asked her.
She shook her head. "You."
I looked up at Bella with what I am sure was a lost look on my face. What surprised me was that she didn't look worried, exactly. She looked more curious than anything. My expression must have registered with her though, and she seemed to snap out of it a little, and her expression turned caring.
"I have a first aid kit in my car. I can go get it." She said. I nodded my head at her, and she went jogging off. I got up with Alice in my arms. Her arms were still locked around my neck.
"I will just go help her out, and we will be back, if that is okay with the both of you." I said to Jessica and Mike. Olivia was a shy little girl, and she was hiding behind her father's leg.
"Yes, go ahead. We will wait for her." Jessica said. Her smile was very motherly and caring. Mike nodded, and I brought Alice back over to the bench. I unwrapped her arms from around my neck. I took her left arm; since that was the one she was clutching earlier, and tried to find where she was stung. She was wearing a sweatshirt, but she took it off when she was playing. I looked at the top of her arm, and then on the inside, but it all looked completely fine to me.
"Where is it, Alice? I don't see anything." I turned her small arm in my hand once again. There was nothing that I could see at all.
"I didn't get stung, that's why." She said in a completely normal voice and she was wiping the tears off her face with her hand.
"What?"
"I faked it." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I still wasn't catching on.
"Why?"
"You didn't want to shake his hand, so I helped you. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't mean to lie." She said each statement faster than the other as her nerves were picking up I am sure. She was nervous I would be mad at her for what she did. To be honest, I had no idea how to feel.
"Alice…I…I'm not mad…" That was the only thing I was sure of. How is a grown man supposed to feel when his six year old sister has to bail him out of terrifying situations when said situation wasn't supposed to be terrifying at all to a normal person? A part of me felt stupid, really. I knew I should have just been able to grab his hand and shake it like a normal human being, but I couldn't. Another part of me felt proud to have Alice as my sister. She is already so loyal and caring for a six year old. I practically raised her, so that means I should have had something to do with that right?
"Okay good. Bella is coming back. Just put a band-aid on me, and then I will be a big girl."
I nodded. "Thank you, Alice."
She smiled up at me and hugged me around the neck again. "You help me, so I help you. You're my favorite, Ecy." She whispered in my ear.
"You're my favorite too." She started sniffling again, and I guessed it was because Bella was close. She soon appeared in front of me and handed me the first aid kit.
"I'll leave you two to your own thing." Bella said, still looking at us with that curious look in her eye. Could she have noticed what Alice did?
"You're leaving?" I asked.
"Do you want me to?"
"No. Please, just stay." I was practically begging her, but I couldn't find it in me to care at that point.
"Okay, well I will be by my car." She said and I nodded. She walked forward and put a hand on Alice's back. "I hope that sting feels better. Have fun at your friend's house."
Alice turned in my arms to face Bella. "Thank you. Will you come hang out with me and Ecy again?"
"I would love to, sweetie."
"Thank you." Alice said. Bella leaned forward and kissed Alice on her beanie covered head. Her face got so close to mine when she did, and I could smell her hair so perfectly. It was intoxicating. She pulled away and walked past us to her car. Alice pulled from me and grabbed the first aid kid from my hands.
"Here, let me do it." I said. I took the kit from her and opened it up. There was a lot of stuff in it, so I had to sift for the band-aids, but I found them. Alice took them from my hand.
"Oh, there are pink ones!" She said excitedly and I just rolled my eyes. Who cares what color the band-aid is? I started taking the cover off of it, and Alice waited patiently. I was still kind of messed up about the whole thing that just went down. It felt like she was taking care of me more than I was taking care of her. It wasn't supposed to be like that.
I brought the band-aid to her arm, and I didn't know where to put it. She pointed out a random place, and I put it on there for her. "Okay, there you go." I started to close the kit, but she stopped me. She took out another band-aid and opened it. "What are you doing, Alice? We can't be wasting them." I would buy Bella more if that is what she wanted. One was already wasted, and now Alice was wasting yet another.
"Shh." Alice said. She peeled away the rest of the paper. She reached for my arm, and pulled up the sleeve on my shirt. She placed the band-aid on the inside of my arm. She passed her hand over it lightly. "That way you can feel better."
I couldn't help but smile at her benevolence. "Thanks, Alice."
She brought her hands to her head and pulled my beanie off. She placed it back on my head and gave my head a kiss much like Bella did to her only moments before. "You're welcome. Now let's go. I need to go to Olivia's and you need to kiss Bella."
She got down from my lap and waved me forward. "I am not going to kiss Bella."
"Uh-huh…okay." She said sarcastically. I couldn't decide if I created a monster or the greatest creature in existence from time-to-time. It was weird.
I walked to rest of the way with her to Jessica and Mike. When we were almost there, she turned to me and wanted me to pick her up. I was confused, but she insisted, so I did. Once in my arms, she said I can't shake someone's hand with my hands full. Again, I didn't know how to feel.
Mike and Jessica both gave her a lot of attention and asking her if she was alright and all of that. She assured them she was alright. They said they were leaving, so I put Alice down, and she grabbed Mike's hand. And she does it again. I said bye to all of them, and headed back to Bella.
She was leaning on the side of her car. She was definitely thinking about something. I could tell because of the look on her face. She had her arms crossed in front of her. My hoodie was still on her, and I still don't understand why it made her so attractive to me to see her in that hoodie. It was all baggy on her and all that shit, but she never looked as beautiful.
She looked up to me when I approached. She smiled slightly when she saw me. "I see you got your beanie back."
"Yeah at least something is keeping me warm since someone took my hoodie."
She did not like that joke. Let's just say, if looks could kill, I would have been dying a slow and painful death at that moment. "You know what, just for that, you aren't getting it back."
"Mhm…we'll see." I hopped up on the front of her car so I was sitting next to her. "So what do you want to do? Or are you bored of me already?"
She smirked. "I'm not bored of you in the slightest."
"Same here."
She let out a small, nervous laugh. "I don't really care what we do, dude."
I smirked. "Come on, I know a place we can go." I hopped down from the car and headed for my truck.
"Hold on, I have to lock up my car." She said and I nodded. I went to my truck, and waited for her. I really wanted a cigarette, but I didn't want to do it while she was in the car. I know the smell of smoke to a non-smoker wasn't too pleasant. She came back only moments later, and I started up the car.
It surprised me how willing she was to just get in the truck with me without asking questions. She trusted me; that much was clear. On the way to our destination, we talked about random stuff. She asked me more of my favorites, and I asked them back to her. I found myself always wanting to know more. If I ask her one question, it usually led to many more forming in my head. We made it to where I wanted to take her in about twenty minutes, and I parked the truck outside of the cabin.
She looked out the window curiously. "Um…Edward…what are we doing here?"
"This is the part where I kidnap you lock you in this cabin. Woops. Forgot to mention that part."
She laughed, probably because I said it like it was no big deal. She knew I was joking of course. But I knew how bad it must have looked. I ask her to go somewhere with me, and I take her to a cabin in the middle of the woods. That is some serial killer shit right there.
We both got out of the truck. As we were walking to the door, I felt her hand on my arm. At first I stiffened, but then I just relaxed. She wrapped both of her small arms around mine. I wasn't used to this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I looked down at her, and she had a small smile on her face. I couldn't ask her to let go. Not if it brought that kind of smile to her face. As long as she doesn't touch my hands.
I opened the cabin with the key I had on my key ring. I opened the door, and led her inside. It was a simple cabin. There was just one bedroom, kitchen, living room, and bathroom. "Wow, it is really nice in here. It's warm." She commented as she kept looking around. Her arms still wrapped around mine.
"Yeah, it is nice."
"How did you get this?" She asked, still looking around.
"It's not mine. It's my neighbor Bev's. She is a very rich woman. She let me have this place to use as an escape I guess. I don't use it that often." The last time I came here was when I had my last episode. When I left Alice alone in the house. "I bring Alice to go fishing here mostly."
"There is a pond?"
"Yeah, right out back. You want to go?"
A smile spread on her face. I guess she liked the idea of the pond. "Yes! Please, I love the water."
"Let's go then." She kept her grip on my arm as we walked through the cabin to the back door. She gasped when we were out there. I understood her feelings. It was beautiful out there. The pond was calm. There were little ripples in the water from the wind. Bella let go of my arm and walked forward. She walked right up to the edge of the water. She wrapped her arms in front of her, and her hair was blowing with the wind again.
So beautiful.
I walked up to where it was still dry, and sat down. Bella walked forward as far as she could go without stepping into the water. I didn't say anything, and neither did she. We both just soaked in the peacefulness of this place. There were no sounds except for a couple birds and the wind around us. There were no horns beeping or people yelling and talking around us. It was just us and this calm that enveloped us.
After a while—I don't really know how long—she turned back to me. She gave me a lovely smile and started walking toward me. I had my knees up, and my arms draped over them. I kept eye contact with her as she walked toward me. She sat down beside me, and leaned her head on my shoulder.
"Thank you for bringing me here." She whispered.
"I'm just glad you like it. It's not the most fun thing to do."
"I'm not a fun person."
I laughed. "Neither am I."
She laughed and wrapped her arms around my left arm this time. I thought she would just kind of rest there, but she had other idea. She fell back and brought me with her.
"Fuck." I muttered in surprise. I wasn't expecting that at all, but we both fell back onto ground. She giggled and I looked over to her. "Nothing like a warning."
She reached over and took my beanie off. "Get over it." She put the beanie over her head.
"Why do you and Alice think it's okay to just take my shit?"
"My head was cold." I just rolled my eyes. She rolled over onto her side so she was facing me. I turned my head to look at her, and her face was really close. I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"I like you…I mean, I like you a lot."
"Spoken like a true crazy person."
Her face fell. "Why would you say that, Edward?"
"There is so much you don't know."
"You keep saying that." She said softly. "I wish you would just tell me."
I looked over at her again. She was hurting. She was hurting because of me. "I want to." My words were ringing with truth, but I hoped it would cause some of the hurt to move away from her face. I realized right then how much I hated seeing her like that. I absolutely loathed it.
"What's stopping you, Edward? I promise it won't change anything."
"How do you know that, Bella?"
She brought her hand back to my arm and trailed her fingers over my covered arm. I closed my eyes at the feeling. "I know because of how this feels. Don't you feel that, Edward?" I nodded, my eyes still closed. "I don't just spend time with you because I want to. I need to, Edward. I need to be around you…I need to be able to feel this…whatever this is. That isn't something that will go away so easily."
"How do you know?"
"I don't I guess. But I am following what I feel. You mean a lot to me. I realize you may not feel the same way, but as long as I get to be with you, I will be okay."
"How can you say that? Of course you mean a lot to me." She smiled and scooted closer to me. Her face was closer to mine. Her whole body was and all I could feel was her warmth. The chip in my head was setting off all kinds of fuckery inside of me, and the feeling overwhelmed me. It overtook me. It took control of me as I was leaning in closer to her. What the fuck was I doing? Was I really going to kiss her?
But then she did something she probably shouldn't have done. Fuck, it shouldn't have been a second thought to her. It wasn't her fault. It was my fault. It's all my fault.
She grabbed for my hand.
I ruined everything.
Don't bother trusting me
Don't bother waiting
Don't bother changing things that won't give into changing
Just let me go away.
I'm packed
Whenever
I'm down
Whenever.
Weight of the World, by Blue October
Hey everyone! Really early update for you all. I was just so happy from all the reviews I received last chapter, and there is a snow storm over here (I really love snow) and pretty much everything has been shut down, so I will be home a couple days, and I will have a lot of time to write.
Sorry to have left this at kind of a cliffy…do you classify this as a cliffy? I don't know.
Special thanks to Marcelo for helping me out with the Portuguese translations! You can follow him on Twitter (FFHopeReborn) and you should also check out his FF profile (HopeReborn) and his story 'Rising Star'. Do it!
Also thanks to Ady for the French translations, she is always helpful and sweet.
One more thing. Sorry for being wordy, but yeah…I am bad at review replies. Half the time I don't know what to write, because I don't know how to thank you all enough, but I was thinking of maybe attaching a little teaser to the next chapter? I don't know. If that is something that interests you, just let me know! I post teasers on my Twitter account, but I know a lot of people don't have them so, yeah. Let me know!
Review please!