Paradise for the Lost
...
full of doubt I stand
...
(\o/)
Full of doubt I stand,
Whether I should repent me now of sin
By me done, and occasioned; or rejoice
Much more, that much more good thereof shall spring
—John Milton, Paradise Lost
(\o/)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Caroline gasps and opens her eyes. She's just had the most dramatic nightmare ever. A catastrophe, her personal apocalypse, calamity. In her dream they run out of cookies, then the whole world run out of cookies. And she was sitting in a submarine pen crying her heart out. She looked in the mirror only to see a giant octopus staring back at her, and it croaked "No cookies!" and tottered away on two tentacles.
She tries to stir in the bed, but a strong arm wrapped around her waits stops her from moving. Wait, an arm? She looks around (as much as the position lets her): it's definitely not her bed, it's definitely not her room, and it's definitely not... well, not her arm. Hello Mr. Biceps.
Oh yes, she remembers, they, um, had a long sketching session. He sketched her thoroughly. It was incredible and wonderful (you devil you), but now that famous awkward morning after comes and kicks Caroline in the teeth. She wishes she could ask Elena what to do now, because it's Caroline's first morning after. Should she thank him or something?
Caroline's trying to delicately peel his hand off her, but the move backfires at her when Klaus' embrace becomes even tighter, and now she's pressed against his chest like a teddy bear. In fact every part of his naked body is pressed against Caroline quite firmly. Every, you know, part.
Caroline gulps. Think cookie thoughts, think cookie thoughts! Cookie apocalypse, no more cookies on the planet, the evil nazi octopus! She squirms nervously like an earthworm trying to get away from a bird, twisting and wriggling and wrestling his arm in a very peculiar, awkward agony of being naked against another naked body.
Eventually Caroline manages to free herself from his grip and falls to the floor hitting her head against a night table.
Motherfu—
Okay, bruised but unbowed, she tells herself, keep calm and crawl your way out of the room. (Eww, he really needs to vacuum-clean this rug.) When the mission is accomplished, she grabs her pink phone determined to call the only emergency she knows: Elena.
(\o/)
You must be curious what happened to Kol that night.
Well, first of all, sex happened to him. Before you cheer and congratulate him, you need to know that it was his flatmates' sex that happened to him.
He has an evil plan ready. When Meredith parks her car outside his home, Kol grins and tells her, "I might faint on my way up. You know, if I fall down the stairs I'll hold you responsible." He gets exactly what he wants—Meredith agrees to drop by for a cup of tea. Kol is praying for at least one bag of tea left in the kitchen. If not, he'll make her a cup of coffee and keep her in his room for the whole night, yes he will definitely do it. Damn, he thinks, did he clean his room? Are there any condoms left in his drawer? (You know, Kol dreams big.)
Exactly when he wants to open the door to the apartment, they hear a loud ohhhhh. And then even louder yes! And then some more moaning. Suddenly Kol feels like a bear that comes home and finds out Goldilocks ate his porridge: somebody is having loud and passionate sex in his flat. Yes please yes! Not the best soundtrack for the first date, Kol thinks in despair.
Meredith frowns with confusion, then clears her throat and says, "You know what? Let's go back to the car."
"Yeah."
And so Kol spends a very un-romantic night on Meredith's couch wearing her ex-boyfriend's T-shirt with 'SEXY TEACHERRR' printed on it.
So much for winning Meredith's heart.
(\o/)
"Caroline, you can't!"
"I have to, Elena. It's stronger than me."
"You can fight it."
"I can't!"
"How many packs did you buy?"
"Um... maybe three." Caroline looks down at her cart. Guilty, guilty face.
"Caroline!"
"Okay, thirteen!"
As soon as Caroline dressed up, she run to the nearby store and gave vent to her obsessive-compulsive cookie disorder. It's because she's stressed, okay? She had a very rough night (insert a teenage giggle here).
"Elena, what did you do after sleeping with Elijah?" She pushes her cart not noticing weird stares she receives from random people.
Her friend stays silent for a moment, confused and embarrassed.
"What do you mean?" Elena's voice sounds a bit shaky.
"I mean—oh joy, muffins! One pack won't do any harm—I mean the morning after. You woke up and what?"
Caroline doesn't need to see Elena's face to know her cheeks are now burning red. Beetroot red. She can swear Elena's the loudest blushing person in the whole world.
''We, um, you know, just did it again.''
Thanks Elena. Helpful as always.
(\o/)
Klaus wakes up and stretches in the bed feeling warm sheets against his naked body. Every muscle flexes as a satisfied smile spreads on his face. Caroline. That little blonde (scatterbrained, paranoid) work of art. He forgot himself last night. Like, an all-night-long amnesia. Serious case of blackout. Well, maybe just selective amnesia, because he does remember what he wants to remember. Her skin, so delicate (she's a marble queen indeed), her curves (she must have been elaborately carved by Michelangelo himself), the way she writhed in sweet agony under him (like an oriental dancer from those romanticized, exotic images of harem life), and her welcoming arms wrapped around him in a close, warm embrace, bringing comfort to his troubled mind (she's a goddess he could pray all night to).
Klaus doesn't know why, neither does he know how, but she makes him forget what it means to be him. She's a drug, Prozac, Valium, opium, a shot of endorphines right into a vein.
With one eye open he scans the room. An empty side of his bed with cold sheets, that's all she left, his smirk serves as the only reminder that a few hours ago they were wet and rumpled. Of course she sneaked out in the morning. Every woman he slept with—every one, and mind you, that's a lot—always begged for more (and didn't get it, you know the drill). So it would surprise him if Caroline did the same. She's not every woman. She's too smart, too strong to beg. That's why he likes her. That's why for the first time in his long existence Klaus thinks that maybe he could break his golden rule. Maybe he could... spend more time with her. They will never see each other again after he takes Kol home. His brother hasn't been causing any trouble so far, so everything should go smoothly. No need to watch over him 24/7.
In less than three weeks Klaus will have everything he ever wanted—thanks to Caroline.
Until then, he'll have her.
(\o/)
"YOU DID NOT—"
"I did."
"—SLEEP WITH—Oh Caroline." Elena whines. "You could have chosen a better moment."
Surprised and amazed, Caroline raises her eyebrows. No shame on you, Caroline? Or at least, you should repent? No Victorian-like scolding? All she hears from her prudish and straight-laced friend is, you could have done it in a better moment? This must be an omen of upcoming Apocalypse.
"A better moment?" The blonde chokes out.
"I mean, to distract him like that." Right. Desperate measures for desperate times.
"But I didn't want to distract him, Elena. It just happened."
Elena seems to be thinking carefully about the whole situation. It makes Caroline even more nervous.
"Did you enjoy it, Care?" She seems upset.
"It was... amazing." Caroline admits without shame. Because it was, and being with him that night sent her to a different dimension. It wasn't only his body or how he made her feel. It was not about tangled sheets and sweating bodies. It was the little sliver of intimacy they shared that moved her. The words that he probably whispered to his countless lovers, but that particular night he was with her—not next to her, not by her side, not objectifying her, but really with her—and it's all that matters.
Maybe it's just her imagination, but she felt him care, she felt his longing for something she didn't recognize. For a split of a second she felt a deep and unutterable sadness he must have buried long time ago somewhere in his heart. Between stocking up with cookies and contemplating the awkwardness of the first (and probably the last) morning after in her life, Caroline can't stop wondering about the tragedy that happened to Klaus, because she's sure there's something he keeps secret, something that resurfaces only when he lets his guard down.
"So it's good it won't happen again." Elena concludes. "Because eventually you would fall for him, and believe me, Caroline, I know what I'm saying when I tell you: you better don't."
(\o/)
Just when Klaus gets out of the shower Caroline enters the flat loaded down like a pack mule. Way too many grocery bags in her hands block her view, and they almost fall to the floor when she peeps out from behind them and sees Klaus wearing only a towel around his waits.
"Well, well, well." He crosses his arms in front of him. Caroline's eyes dart to his flat stomach and she gulps. "Here's my marble queen."
Stay cool, act cool, be cool. It was just a one night stand, he had thousands of them, don't let him boast. You're just a link in his long chain of lovers. She hides her face behind the bags and slowly sidesteps towards the kitchen like a crab.
"Come on." He takes a few bags from her (to her utter confusion). "Where did you go?"
"I—I went on a cookie spree." Caroline announces boldly as she starts to unpack the bags. Don't look at his abs, don't—
"A cookie spree." He coughs, holding back a laugh.
"Yes. Because you never know when the evil octopus will strike." Thirteen bags of cookies, four muffins, flour...
"Evil octopus. Of course." Klaus nods in the most serious way he can fake.
"I'm baking today." She will bake her emotions away. She needs to keep herself occupied. White and brown sugar, eggs, milk...
"Of cour—WHAT?"
"Also, I invited a friend." Chocolate chips, vanilla extract...
"Why—"
"And please, do not throw him off the stairs, okay?" And baking soda. Yes, perfect. Stay cool. Must. Not. Look.
"You bought thirteen packs of cookies, and still are going to bake?" She's standing by the kitchen table, all bold and cheeky, not even close to what she looked like yesterday when he was done with her. Klaus has to admit, this girl never ceases to amaze him. Just when he thinks he's got her figured out, she's changing her spots.
Caroline just shrugs. "Oh, I bought them just in case. It dawned on me that those cookies are all the same. And I want something special, something unique, not another cookie in the bag, you know."
"Something special." He frowns, thoughtfully licking his lips, his stare absent.
(\o/)
"Did you sleep well?" Meredith asks as she hands Kol a cup of coffee and sits by his side on the couch. He looks terrible. His hair is a mess, he's got dark circles under his eyes, and Rick's T-shirt doesn't suit him at all.
"Yeah." All Kol gets is a doubtful glare from her. "Not really."
"You were calling someone in your sleep."
"Was I? Damn. Sorry." He sighs and drags a hand over his face. It's been the same dream over and over again since he moved to LA, sometimes nice and funny, but there are also nights like this, filled with horror.
"Who's Rebekah? And Elijah?" Meredith's searching look doesn't leave Kol's face.
He cringes. It's been driving him crazy for months. "The problem is, I don't know."
(\o/)
The kitchen looks like a whole military unit marched through it plundering it and leaving a total chaos behind. MESS doesn't even begin to describe it. There's flour scattered all over the floor, one egg broken on the table, a trail of white sugar going from the table to the sink, and another of brown sugar around the chair. Klaus' sixth sense knew what was coming, so he ducked out of baking with Caroline and went out to buy some whiskey.
(He won't take it sober. Besides, she's obviously screwing with his mind, acting like nothing happened while it's him who's supposed to be manhandling the situation like this. Who does she think she is? Fine, she wants a cold war, she'll get one.)
Caroline dashes to the door when the doorbell rings. Stefan seems to be in a much better mood than usual which makes Caroline's smile grow wider. She hugs him tightly and gestures at him to come in.
"The crime scene looks horrible, but I must say it smells delicious." He gives her an appreciative nod.
"You'll see yourself. They should be ready in fifteen minutes."
Stefan looks around. The flat is definitely too big for just one person. It has a large living room with an open kitchen, a bathroom and three bedrooms.
"Are you living here alone?"
Caroline clears her throat. She knew Stefan would ask about it. What will his reaction be when he learns she's living with a devil under one roof?
"I have two flatmates. Kol, a bartender, lives in the room on the left. And look over there, there's my room, and the adjoining one belongs to my second flatmate—"
"Klaus." Stefan mumbles angrily. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world... Damn you, Klaus. Caroline, surprised and confused, turns around to face him, and then KABOOM! she sees Klaus standing in the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and inquiring look saying, what the hell is going on? (Well, his infuriated glower adds some strong curse words, but let's not repeat it verbatim.)
"Um, Klaus, this is my friend—"
"Stefan. What are you doing here?" He cuts her off. This time she's really pissed.
"Great." She puts her hands on her hips like a little Miss Sassy she is. "Go ahead and talk like I'm not here if you know so well what I want to say." She huffs. Then she gasps, flabbergasted.
"Wait a minute, do you two know each other?"
"I see ruining my sister's life wasn't enough so now you make cow eyes to Caroline." Klaus slams the door after him, his grasp on the bottle so tight he's about to crush its neck. Instantly the energy in the room shifts. It gets heavy and hard to breathe.
"That's funny, you sound jealous." Stefan cocks an eyebrow at his friend. "I didn't know you abandoned your masterplan for a girl."
"Excuse me?" Caroline looks goggle-eyed at both of them.
"You know it's not the case." Klaus snorts. "But, talking about the girl, I wonder who are you going to choose? Your friend Caroline, or your beloved Rebekah?"
''I am the girl now?''
"Isn't it too soon to try on the crown? You're not the ruler yet."
"I like to be prepared when the moment comes. You better be too."
Klaus and Stefan are facing each other with stern expressions and tensed bodies.
"A crown? What are you talking about?" Curiouser and curiouser, suddenly Caroline's feeling like in Wonderland, except there's no wonders around her. Just two loonies.
''Has she seen your true face?'' Klaus's vicious smirk aims straight at Stefan who doesn't even blink. (What face? Does Stefan have fangs, too? Her thoughts are racing.)
''Well, I'm sure she's seen yours. What else did you show her, Klaus?''
Klaus' smirk turns into a wide grin. ''Now it's you who sounds jealous, my dear friend.''
''Um, guys, can you smell tha—''
''I think she's more of a friend to me than you.'' Stefan tilts his head.
''—something is—''
''You better don't get too friendly with her.'' A growl escapes Klaus' mouth.
''—BURNING!''
Finally they notice Caroline. They notice her and the smoke coming from the oven. When she opens it a puff of gray smoke fills the room and a smell of burnt dough hits their nostrils.
''Oh no!'' She cries. Then she slowly and menacingly raises her head, glares—and it's a glower so dark it would even send shivers down Dracula's own spine—at two men standing in the living room, both of them scared all of a sudden. Klaus gulps while Stefan steps behind him. Caroline looks like the whole Hell is speaking through her eyes, and it's pure fury.
''MY. COOKIES.'' The blonde is a picture perfect of a candidate for an exorcism. Seething. Rabid.
Then the door gets kicked open. Kol is standing in the living room, puzzled and agitated, gaping at the shemozzle going on in his apartment: a mess in the kitchen? Smoke? Burned stuff? His eyes wander from Klaus to Caroline and then to Stefan, and then to Caroline again.
''What the fuck is wrong with you people?'' He rages. ''Last night you two were screwing like two animals during the peak of a mating season, and I thought, okay Kol, let them have some.'' Stefan sends Caroline a shocked look. You, he, what? Kol rambles on. ''I said to myself, don't be a dog in the manger, Kol. The fact that you're not getting any doesn't mean that your flatmates can't ROLL IN THE HAY!'' He yells.
''But this?'' Kol points an accusatory finger at Stefan making him jump. ''Is this a threesome now? Because if it is, please go and shag somewhere else! I had a rough night too, HA. HA.'' He deadpans.
Now it's Caroline that stares shocked at both Klaus and Stefan. The latter sighs.
''I think I'll leave you to sort the things out.''
''But—'' Caroline, still confused by the whole commotion, wants to protest, but Stefan hushes her with a gesture.
''I think Klaus didn't tell you the whole story. We'll talk later.'' And he trudges away, leaving them even more upset, with burnt cookies, a bottle of whiskey, and temporarily unstable Kol.
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A/N Uno:: I'm sorry you had to wait so long, it was uni stuff that kept me awake at night, but hopefully it will be over till October.
Dos: Hugs for the reviewer Thea, my neighbour (sort of;)), who spends way too much time reading fanfiction to the utter despair of her mom and friend, but to my delight. ;) I'm glad you liked my other stories!
Tres: Also, there's a new story of mine called Null and Void coming soon, but don't worry, I'm not ditching PFTL, I just want to write something more down-to-earth, so I'll be posting two stories at the same time, more or less. I hope you like it, there's a description of it on my tumblr.
Cuatro: There's more to Klaus' family story, but I think you already noticed that. Don't be confused, my lovelies, it's all becoming clear in the next chapter. Thank you for your support and that most of you understand that this story is AU and sometimes slightly OOC on purpose. I'm just playing with the characters, do not take any of this too seriously, k? :)