Chapter 10

Felix was tense in concentration. His fingers twitched on the wood of his bow. Drew an arrow and loosed it at one of the targets he had set up. It landed perfectly in the center. He rolled over to face the one that had previously been behind him a little to his left. He had ten targets and he hit all of them in the center every time. He even managed to slice one in half with a satisfactory Crack! He was wound tight and on the edge. When Pan told him the Lu and Reagan were to return he vowed that he would not be allowed to wreck havoc in his home ever again. He would make them pay for what happened to Carlyle. He closed his eyes and if was as if it had happened yesterday. It was horribly vivid on the black canvass of his closed eyelids.

Carlyle had his bow in hand and was firing arrows at the men that streamed from the ship Luther and Reagan had come in. He didn't have a sword. He'd never been good with one. Luther screams rose slightly above the clatter of battle. Reagan was half helping half carrying him back toward their ship in retreat. Felix felt such triumph in landing his blow and the lost boys were so relieved to see the enemy start to retreat, they had forgotten the snake that had brought. Felix turned to his younger brother in time to see the sorcerer plunge a golden dagger into his chest. He remembered screaming. Not the sound but the action. He remembered dropping to his knees and holding his head. Stroking his blonde curls as he watched the light fade from his once bright blue eyes.

A snap brought him out of his revere and he loosed his arrow without even thinking. As soon as his fingers released the string he felt his stomach drop.

There was a squeal and his brain registered the arrow heading for Ella in slow motion. But just as it almost hit its mark it turned to water and doused her instead. He hurried over to her she was mumbling to herself

"Water is just fine but next time perhaps butterflies or flowers or something else that's easier to clean up." She sounded annoyed but Felix was just glad she was all right and he felt crazy guilty.

"I'm so sorry Ella! I was training and I didn't expect anyone to be down here… or awake for that matter," He rambled all of this as he helped her to her feet. She wasn't drenched in water just splashed, but judging from her shivers it must have been ice cold

"It's fine." she said him patting at her wet shirt and smoothing down her hair. She laughed, "I'm just glad it wasn't one of the other boys. Besides I need to get trained just like everyone else but no one will actually try to hurt me so it's not fair training. I should be thanking you. Now I know that water, although not harmful, is not the best thing to make an arrow into." She'd expected him to lighten up at her casual commentary. When he did not she wiped away her smile and became serious.

"What were you thinking about Felix?"

He stiffened and said curtly, "My brother."

Ella cocked her head to the side, "I didn't know you had a brother." She said softly

"I did. His name was Carlyle," He said standing and fidgeting with the bow in his hands. It was Carlyle's; he had always been the best crafter they had back then. Felix preferred it to Nimble Fingers' work. "But he's been dead a long time."

"I understand your pain. Some people believe time heals all wound but sometimes just the name will cause that pain to well back up because you can try to forget but every time you forget you're going to have to relive it. You don't escape things like that, not ever." Her voice was barely a whisper by that final word. Felix looked at her and nodded. Just nodded, because he understood everything she had just said and knew first hand that comfort didn't help.

"How did he die?" She asked

"The once lost boys brought an enchantress on their raid." He swallowed and felt his lip quiver slightly. "She stabbed him- in the chest. A-and I held him while he bled to death."

He wasn't expecting Ella to hug him, but that sure didn't mean he wasn't grateful. He hugged her back thinking maybe he was wrong about the comfort thing or maybe it was because he knew she knew how he felt. Most of the boys here were physically too young to understand, the rest were either mentally to young or just couldn't understand. Most everyone else who lost someone in that fight had chosen to leave. Pan had been devastated. That was when he and Felix truly became friends. From then on he had happily been Peter's right hand man. He only wished it hadn't come at such a price.

"My mother used to talk to my brother and I all the time about angels." Ella said, her voice quiet and comforting as she hugged the lost boy. "She said all the people in the world were being watched by their own angels. Sometimes I wondered how there could be so many angels. There were just too many people you know? But when my brother died I remembered something she said. She said when good people wrongfully died they got to live a new life as an angel. And then I understood then why there were so many. Good people almost always have unfair deaths. It gives me comfort though, to think that maybe my brother's watching me and living another life with other good people. Maybe your brothers watching you too."

Felix felt his eyes sting and felt a tear roll down his cheek. Ella let go of him and pulled him down to sit next to her on the ground. He thought about what she said and felt a little of the weight on his chest lightened. Felix wanted to- needed to believe that Carlyle had gone somewhere better, and that if he kept living that one day he would get to see him again.

"What was he like?"

Felix smiled, "He was a free spirit, most lost boys are. He wasn't afraid to go anywhere or do anything. It was one of the things I envied most about him, his bravery, even if he did get into shiploads of trouble for it sometimes. We weren't actually close until we came to Neverland. I think Pan knew that would happen somehow. He liked making things," He offered the bow to Ella, "and he was good at it."

She looked over the bow and ran her hands over the bow. It had carvings on the handle and there were some lines painted in light blue.

"Its beautiful, he made this?"

Felix nodded taking it back. "He was the best shot with a bow, better than anyone I'd ever seen. Wouldn't go near a sword for nothin' either. One of the boys had given him the paint. Said it suited him because it was the same color as his eyes. He had blonde hair, he was so short and thin, and he was five years younger than me. Only about eleven when Pan came for us."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Ella said, "That's why Pan told you separately isn't it?"

Felix nodded and she squeezed his hand. "This time will be different I promise you, I can't pretend to know what happened last time. But we're ready this time. And you have me."

"Thanks mom."

"You too, huh?" Felix turned a little red

"Sorry, most of the boy started- it sorta just caught on." He pursed his lips not sure what to say but Ella sighed and stood

"Its alright Felix." She started to walk away but Felix's words still reached her

"If anyone could be Neverland's mother, I think it could be you."

A/N: Hi guys sorry for the wait. Also sorry there no Pan/Ella. I just write when i imagine and this is what comes out. Please review and follow and all that jazz, if you have suggestion or a comment, a question, an adjective whatever send it to me. I could hear Coldplay's Fix you while I wrote this so there's that for you thoughts. Happy delayed new year!