AN: Sorry for the late update. I'll add another chapter this week, and the plot should start speeding up at that point!
It was early, and Hanabusa hadn't come home that day. Hoshiko had tip-toed to his bedroom after breakfast and opened the door to find the bed still perfectly made, the sheets unrumpled and pristine. She didn't really visit her father much at work, mostly because...well, it made her sad. It was sad to see him lose himself there, using long hours as a Band-Aid for his loneliness. The nature of his work made her sad, too, but those reasons weren't important at the moment. So she slipped on a jacket and went to see him. He could use a little nagging to make sure he slept properly, in his own bed, from time to time.
When she arrived, the lab was empty. It was a Saturday, after all, so everyone was home for the weekend except her father. The door to his work area was open, the atmosphere almost eerie, lit by a single, dim golden lamp. Hoshiko paused, foot catching in the shadows of the doorway. Her father was talking to someone. She peered into the room, squinting and inhaling slowly, but couldn't detect any other scents. Nonetheless, her father's voice was familiar and low. She leaned forward to catch the words.
"How rude of you, Madam. Here I thought that I could hog you all to myself at long last. There's no way I would be doing anything else, don't you agree?"
No answer came. There was no sound. The silence was so thick that she could have heard a pin drop. And then he answered, as though in response to a comment she hadn't heard.
"In truth, I haven't been able to make a break-through, and my research has been brought to a standstill..."
Was he talking to himself, then? Seiya muttered to himself sometimes, too, when he was deeply concentrating on research or a problem. Perhaps it was just that?
"The stagnation of my work and my monopolizing you have nothing to do with each other, alright?"
No, it wasn't the same. The pauses that came between sentences, they held the same weight as a reply. As though he were talking to someone. She already knew who. This had happened before, sometimes, on important dates. Their wedding anniversary. Her or Seiya's birthdays. Other days that didn't seem important to Hoshiko but were undoubtedly important to her parents... On those days, she would occasionally catch her father talking to her mother, as though she were still there. As though her ghost continued to inhabit the house...
"Well, vampires are basically heavily armed, highly resilient, biological weapons... We act on impulse and we make many mistakes. And when it occurred to me that one day even I might do something, it made me scared. I thought it was a way to peacefully disarm that weapon... Or, at least, that offering more options would be a good thing for both humans and vampires. Kaname-sama must have thought the same."
A weapon..? Vampires..? Perhaps so, but... But..! Just like humans, vampires made a choice to prey on humans or not. Just like humans, vampires chose whether to be good or evil, kind or cruel. Only Level E's were different, because they couldn't control their instincts the way natural-born vampires could. Saying it like that...categorizing vampires as a weapon... She felt sick.
Her father continued, "That's because it was you, Yori... You have always shined your light on my qualities." A pause, then, "Wouldn't it be faster to turn all of the humans into vampires? No wait, Yori! That's not what I meant, I'm sorry I just said that!"
Hoshiko had heard enough. Sick at heart and sick to her stomach, she turned and left without a word.
Ai was plucking petals off one of the poinsettias Ren had brought home with him one day last December. She plucked each one off with relish, crumpled it slightly between her fingers, and let it drop discarded to the floor.
She told herself that she was just on edge because Genji was here. But the truth was that she hated that both Genji and Ren had what she wanted more than anything else in the world. She hated hearing him and Ren reminisce about the past, about this past summer, about their parents...
About their parents...
She tossed the petals she'd accumulated in her fist to the ground.
There was one way she could meet her father. The idea had been ruminating in the back of her head for a while now, since she'd appointed Ichijou as headmaster of the academy, although his new position had come about for different reasons. She wanted to prepare a place for purebloods who chose to become human again, as well as for her father, for when he could finally be revived, either as a human or a vampire. Ai wasn't about to be picky; she would take whatever form he came in, memories intact or not. But, he needed a haven, and there was no better place than Cross Academy. At least with Ichijou in charge, she could be at ease. He would both agree with her decision and protect her father wholeheartedly. Not to mention, she would have his support on the council, as well.
And it had occurred to her, that day when she'd visited his dingy home in the basement, that he remembered her father. Remembered him when he had been living and breathing, moving and speaking. Ichijou's blood smelled bright, fresh, like summer and citrus and sunshine. There was something else mingled in, too, something with the consistency of maple syrup, something that would probably be darkly sweet, perhaps bittersweet, if she were to taste it. It had always vaguely intrigued her. This time, however, when she recalled that memories of her father were stored in that blood, when she recalled that vampires had the ability to taste such memories... Abruptly, it wasn't just a kind of intriguing scent anymore. It was a craving.
I could meet my father, she thought, and uprooted the entire poinsettia from the pot. Just once, only just once, she needed to taste it for herself, to see a living version of the man she'd always encountered beneath ice.
Truthfully, drinking Aidou's blood would accomplish the same thing. Or Ruka's. Or Kain's. Or even Rima or Shiki's. But, that would have been strange. For the most part, they were more like aunts and uncles, people who had helped to raise her. Ichijou was just...Ichijou. And from listening to stories, he had been closer to her father than any of them. So it had to be him. She didn't think he would refuse.
She stared at the ruined plant in her hands. She'd needed something to lash out at, but nevertheless she couldn't let Ren see it. So she took the plant outside with her and chucked it far into the woods.
Hoshiko had acted on instinct. The moment she'd arrived home, she'd asked Ichijou to come over. Seiya was out, she didn't know where, and although she was aware of how little Ichijou liked to be alone with her anymore, her need for his presence had overrode her consideration. She needed his scent to ground her and his voice to soothe away the grief that scrabbled through her veins. She was sure that his light alone had the power to chase away the shadows left by her visit to the lab. Besides, her brother would only get depressed along with her... At least the grave keeper was removed from the situation a little more than Seiya was.
To her relief, he came over not long afterwards. It was lucky, because she didn't want to cry over what she'd accidentally overheard at the lab. She'd cried for that reason enough times in the past, as it was. He arrived just before the tears had begun, and they sat on the back porch to chat. The fresh air was necessary for her. Inside the house, she was still breathing in her mother's ghost. At least outside, the breeze kept the air moving, kept it clean of memories that might provoke tears. Although, of course, the person beside her sparked a great many of them.
"Why did you ask me to come over?" Ichijou tilted his head, regarding her curiously.
"I was just thinking, you're always in that dark little room with Kaname-san. It might be nice for you to breathe some fresh air now and again." Her eyes dodged his. She couldn't tell him the real reason, that she felt like crying after hearing her father talk to her mother's spirit...
"Hoshiko-chan is so considerate!" Ichijou gushed, attempting to throw his arms around her.
"Don't cling to me!" she exclaimed, pushing him back with a hand to the face. If he wasn't going to seriously embrace her, she didn't want him to touch her at all. She didn't need any more ammunition for her dreams.
He laughed, scooted back, and said, "Thanks for worrying about me, but I'm absolutely fine. I'm satisfied with the way things are."
Liar. She knew how lonely he was. She shouldn't taunt him, but... "You've lived for a long time now. You still haven't found anyone to love, have you?"
A grimace crossed through his eyes, but he smiled it off. "I will live a lot longer."
"I guess you have no choice but to wait." As for herself, she was sure she'd turn to ash before he looked at her as anything other than a friend. If they had been born human, their age would have been enough to keep them apart. However, they were vampires. She might be the daughter of his friend, but for their kind the gap in age wasn't significant at all. Both Yuki and her father had had children very young for a vampire...
"Hm." He leaned over as if he were confiding a great secret. "I had an arranged marriage, once."
She blinked, taken aback. She hadn't known that! Had he been married before? She didn't think so. It would have had to have been a very short-lived marriage for her to not know about it.
"Well, the arrangement fell through once my grandfather died." His voice caught a little over the word 'died,' and she bit her tongue, fingers pressing into the wood of the porch. He turned back to the sky, tracing the stars. "I can't say I'm sorry about it, though. In the end, it seems the person I was engaged to is now happy with a partner far superior to me. I'm glad for her, from the bottom of my heart..." He trailed off. Then, abruptly, he was cheerful again. "Oh man, this is getting a little gloomy, isn't it? As to calling me here, it's really fine. I'm not bored. I get to read as much manga as I like, and I do get out every now and again. Mostly thanks to you and your brother."
Hoshiko kept her expression unchanged, although inwardly she frowned. Ichijou was always putting himself down like that. She was secretly glad the engagement had fallen through, albeit for different reasons. Mainly, because she wanted him for herself-a pipedream that would never be fulfilled. She didn't say that, though. Instead, she commented, "Soon, you'll be getting out a great deal more. The academy won't run itself, you know. You'll have to move out of the basement."
"Don't remind me." He glanced at her then, gaze penetrating, and with calculating lips asked, "There was another reason, wasn't there?"
"Hm?" She sent him a baffled look.
"For calling me here."
"No," she denied, although in truth he was right.
No, her mind repeated numbly. He wasn't supposed to notice things about her. Not private things. If he noticed this, then how close was he to noticing her feelings for him..? And if he noticed that, how close was he to breaking off their friendship entirely? No. She couldn't afford to relax her guard. She'd have to be more vigilant from now on.
The corner of his mouth quirked in an almost sardonic smile. "Something's wrong."
"It's nothing," she told him firmly.
"It's nothing," she said, and her calm, even tone revealed that she had no intention of confiding in him.
For a moment, he'd almost felt needed. Shiki and Rima had stopped sharing problems or secrets with him years ago, since they'd married. As he'd thought, he wasn't worthy of Hoshiko's confidence, either. "So you really did just want to get me out of the house," he stated, knowing it wasn't true while being forced to accept it anyway.
She gave a brief nod, gaze darting away from him. "By the way...what do you think of the cure my father is working on?" she asked suddenly, frowning.
"The cure?" Her question took him by surprise. "I think it's making progress..."
"No. Morally." Her finger idly traced a pattern into the step they were sitting on. "Do you think it's right?"
He blinked. "I don't know." Honestly, he'd never given it much thought before. Only that the research was something Hanabusa was dedicated to, something that would eventually help Kaname and any other vampires who grew tired of their endless or nearly endless life.
"Calling it something like 'the cure,' and making such a big deal about it... Doesn't it...doesn't it sound like we're a disease, then?"
Ah...
"I've been thinking about it a lot lately. A disease...has such negative connotations... I always thought that we were an evolution or a mutation of humans. I was fascinated by it for a while, I tried to research how it happened. But whenever I drop by the lab, it seems the conclusion is that vampirism is a sickness. So we have to be cured..." She trailed off for a moment before continuing. "Wouldn't it be more meaningful if vampires and humans were able to come together, to overcome their differences and live in peace?"
It was too big a question. One he couldn't begin formulating an answer to right now. Nevertheless he answered, "Personally I would like to see such a peace. I think the cure...the research...also has potential to give an option to former humans who might like to regain their humanity, and also to purebloods and others who are tired of living."
She grew quiet for a moment, appearing to process this. After a pause, she conceded, "Well, perhaps it does have merit for those reasons... I'm not...against the research, I just..." She took a breath, then, "Actually...the truth is...I went to the lab to visit him today."
"Hanabusa-kun?"
She nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Sometimes, he... It's never been this bad before, but sometimes... He still speaks to Mother, as though she were here. It's just... I don't know. I don't know, I was just feeling sad. Seiya isn't here today, either..." A moment of silence rippled through the air before she spoke again. "I don't understand Mother... I don't understand why she chose to live on as a human."
"Yori-chan was determined to live out the life given to her as a human...that was her conviction," he murmured. "She was always very adamant about it."
Frustration stamped across her features momentarily. "But I don't understand! I don't! Father was working on the cure, he swore to finish it for her. I don't understand how she could abandon us like that!" When she turned to face him, he was shocked to find her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
"I don't think she wanted to risk dying as a vampire or becoming consumed by the thirst that she saw in Hanabusa-kun," he murmured gently. "She valued every second of her time, to the last. Having witnessed her lifetime...I feel a little foolish, indulging in this long life."
"She left us! She left Father...you should have heard him, he's starving and desperate these days without her. Didn't she love him at all? Didn't she love us?"
"Hoshiko-chan...of course she loved you..." He touched her arm, and the next moment she was in his arms, crying very quietly against him. It had been a long time since he'd last seen her shed a tear. Mentally, he tallied the days. It would be the anniversary of Yori's death in a month...perhaps that was why...
"Is this existence so wrong?" she whispered in a raw voice against him.
He didn't have an answer for her. It was a question he'd asked himself before, multiple times. Was this existence wrong? Was that the reason why Kaname had begun hunting down the purebloods, one by one? Over the long centuries of a vampire's lifespan, he knew that his kind were prone to madness and depression. Still, he could not begin to comprehend Yori's decision. It had been a point of tension between Yori, Aidou, and Yuki that had never been resolved, and the wound her death had caused both of them as well as Seiya and Hoshiko was deep indeed.
Still, even if his existence was wrong, he wasn't unsatisfied with the way things were... He didn't want any big changes to his life right now. He didn't want to become headmaster; he was already on the council and that was more than enough for him. Yet, he'd been unable to refuse Ai when she'd announced his new position. It set a bad precedent for their relationship, but then again he'd never been good at refusing purebloods. He hoped that was the reason she'd come to him, although he feared that both his and the Aidou siblings' instincts were correct: Ai wanted something from him. As to what that was, he supposed in time it would become clear.
Hoshiko was silent against him, her tears abated for now, at least externally. Her head leaned against his shoulder, face buried in the crook of his neck, and he did not attempt to remove her although he knew he should. It was just another tally to his little pile of sins, just another minor betrayal of those he cared for.
He was satisfied with everything as it was. If that meant his friends no longer confided in him, or sought out his company...well...it was enough that one of them still wanted his comfort every now and again.
Very dangerously enough.
AN: I know there wasn't much Ai in this chapter, but I wanted to explore a different viewpoint on the cure and vampires in general than what Hino generally expressed. Plus I'm trying to develop some friendships now before so many things start happening (-ominous music plays-).
Also, I haven't read the new chapter or looked at the translations yet so I can't confirm Ren's gender, but everyone is saying he's a girl! Is this true? If it is, I sincerely hope it's not Hino's way of trying to put Kaname and Zeki's child together...you know...bringing the trio altogether in that way... I wouldn't put it past her. I really prefer him as a boy anyway, because the more differences between him and Yuki, the better. Ugh.
How does everyone feel about Ren being a girl?
PS. A lot more Ai in the next chapter. Don't worry!