A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Slenderman, Jeff the Killer or anyone else you might recognize. This chapter is more or less highly corrosive crack. That one out of a billion readers will get. Forgive me.

"Let a boy take you to breakfast?" Skulduggery asked, tilting his head as he offered up a red rose. "And accept his peace offering?"

"Um, OK. Let me get ready." I got up and got ready, but when I came out after showering and dressing I almost screamed. My eyes bugged out as I looked at Skulduggery. Underneath his fedora he had on a Slenderman mask that covered his head and went down into his shirt.

He had his shirt slightly unbuttoned and his loose tie in his hands. With his hat on, and the rose for some reason clamped in his covered jaws it was wrong on so many levels. "Please tell me you aren't weaning that out of the house." I breathed.

He sighed. "I knew it would be better in black." He managed around the rose. "I thought it would be a nice change from the scarf and sunglasses, but all right. Here, hold this." He handed the rose to me and I took it, deciding not to tell him what he looked like at the moment.

He peeled the mask off and held it out to me. "Want it?" He offered.

"That's OK. Skulduggery, you haven't been messing around on my mobile, have you?" I asked.

"No." He said laughter in his voice. "You should have seen the look on your face just now, Val, it was priceless!"

"That's not funny!" I said, my cheeks flaming red.

"Yes, it is. See? I'm the fun teacher. I like to tease you. I'm here for your entertainment."

"That is so not funny!"

"Once again, it is. Cheer up, Val. I'll take you for fast food. Friends?" He asked, holding out his arms. I grumbled but went to him and hugged him.

"You're all of three years old, you know that, right?" I said, hugging him tightly.

"That's why you like me. I'm your peer." He said in a chipper voice as he escorted me to the Bentley. "At least I didn't pick Jeff the Killer, though I suppose I have the smile for it. Seatbelt."

Skulduggery had a giggling fit as he drove. "And you accepted the rose." He said, laughing.

"I really hate you, you know that?" I asked and he just laughed harder.

"That was almost as funny as the day you fell out of Wreath's car."

"You were there, watching me?"

"Mm-hmm." He said, then chortled to himself. "Oh, my teacher's stalking me. I must run!" He giggled, the Bentley veering slightly. "You're fun to tease, Val."

"And you're a moron."

That was so wrong on soooo many levels. I apologize.