Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Author's Notes / Clarifications: On Optimus Prime and the spider last chapter, I realized most adults will tell a story that begins "it scares me because when I was a kid this and that happened." Bingo! Childhood trauma. So Optimus as Orion Pax / youngling had an encounter with a scary situation and spider-like robot that carries forward into earth and a robot spider.

As to the sketches, the baby bot Megatron and Prime fighting over a blanket needs to be drawn. So is Pinky and Brain Starscream and Megatron. That needs to be drawn please? And the video tape showing Sarah Lennox timing out Prime and Magnus into corners was officially erased. Rumor has it a copy exists with Sarah. Ironhide is tracking that down for me. Let you know if I find it.

Onward to merriment and wonderful craziness.

Humans and their games:

Optimus glanced down at his second in command and resisted the urge to throttle the mech with his blue armored hands. "I know I am late in reports but waiting outside my office when you could have commed me over internal channels was not necessary."

"I believe communications have been compromised since our encounter in Egypt with the Decepticons. And reports, though bothersome, are necessary. They tell me where I need to have concerns" Prowl answered, following his leader into the hangar space. He shifted his wing extensions up; fitting through the doorway then relaxed them back into their normal vee pattern.

"Hakuna Mata." Prime quoted, extending a cable from his wrist into the nearest unused datapad. Blue optics dimmed as the files transferred themselves into the neat order of official reports. With a bell sound, the transfer completed and he held the datapad out as his cable connection retracted.

"Ha what? Never mind. Must be a human concept." Satisfied, Prowl added it to the pile he was already carrying in his white armored hands and nodded. "Thank you Prime." He turned to go.

"You could call me Optimus. When we're not on the battlefield or at command. Even the humans do."

"The humans call us things I would never repeat and respect is earned. You are the last Prime. My boss." He hesitated, his white and black form still. "I remember Rule 105. I should not nag, stress or worry about you. Very well, then. Optimus. I am returning to my office should you need me. I have rules to update. Twins again."

34. Do not encourage, participate in or teach gambling activities for human supporters or Autobots. *Hound, Ironhide, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Bumblebee, Arcee and Perceptor.

Sergeant Epps had started that adventure off with a single comment. The NEST members were talking about ordinary enough activities when Ironhide rolled up, transformed and joined the other Autobots by the waiting cargo plane transport.

"I would love to see what's under their alt form. When it's not damaged or been blown away in a fight that is. The protoform basic that is really them." Epps said.

"Why not ask?" Captain Lennox countered.

"I did. Ratchet said it was his job to know not ours. I didn't want to ask anyone directly. Anyway I phrased it, I don't know, it sounded…" he trailed off.

"Sounded too much like looking up their skirts?"

"Oh! That is so not a mental image! My brain, ow, that hurts man." He held his head, closing his eyes as his officer laughed.

"Why not play strip poker with them? Sam taught Bumblebee card games and they have internet access. All of them play games. Ask them. I doubt they care about removing armor."

"Strip with alien robots? I played in college sure but not with other species. And who would want to see my black butt?" Epps bemoaned.

"Then take only one guy with you. Like the doctor or a weapons tech. They don't care what you look like as long as you're healthy or armed and might give insight on the Transformer forms. A comparison study. And win, how hard is that? No lose no clothes off. Or only go down a certain way. No one naked just sit out and let the others play until one winner is left. Any issues stop immediately and keep it off the official radar," Lennox shrugged, intent on the equipment loading and keeping the time schedule for the plane departing.

"I just might do that Captain." Epps had nodded thoughtfully, and then walked up the ramp, hoisting his rifle and parachute over his shoulder.

That night, a group of humans and Transformers met for a series of poker games. Four teams with two players each. One team of humans, Epps and the NEST weapons expert; one team of mixed, the NEST doctor and Jolt; Sunstreaker and Sideswipe; then Bumblebee and Ironhide. It was the twins that figured out to cheat. They lost a few hands and stripped off some weapons and attachments, grumbling externally while talking over their twin bond.

::Flip the cards, replace the right ones a few times for 'Hide and Bee:: Sideswipe

::Already on it bro':: Sunstreaker

::The humans and Jolt are unlucky enough without our help:: Sideswipe

Hours later, the floor was scattered with discarded clothes, external armor and weaponry. That was when Ratchet walked in.

"Sorry to interrupt. Jolt, but you are overdue…holy Primus! What on Cybertron is going on here ?" He had yelled, skidding to a stop, one armored foot still raised in shock and blinking his optics rapidly.

"Interspecies playing?" Jolt murmured, looking and feeling uncovered in his protoform and two armor pieces.

"You're playing. We're serious." Sideswipe quipped as his yellow twin Sunstreaker waved his cards at Ratchet. Both wore partial armor but carried no weapons, sitting across from Jolt and Ironhide.

"Bad to the bone. Nah nah nah." Bumblebee played music on his radio, sitting to the side with the humans.

An automated bolt driver and welding laser popped out of Ratchet's forearms as his optics narrowed. "I'll play with you."

"Run for you sparks!" Ironhide yelled.

Down the hallway, Optimus paused the weapons schematic when the sounds began. Frowning, he swiveled around, interlinking into all the alarms and battle displays. "No alerts. Now what is," he stopped as Bumblebee, in his protoform from the neck down ran by the office door, carrying two humans who were wearing nothing but shorts.

EMERGENCY COMMAND FREQUENCY INTERLINK ACTIVATED

::Prime, help! He's going to weld us together!:: Sunstreaker

::What did you do to Ironhide now?:: Optimus tried an obvious guess.

::No, Ratchet! He's going to weld me to Ironhide and Sideswipe to Bumblebee! Help us!:: Sunstreaker.

The big mech rubbed his head plates with his hand, copying a human gesture of exasperation before moving towards the distress signals. "And I thought protecting the lives of my mechs from Decepticons in battle would be my biggest concern."

36. Do not test possible Decepticon weaponry or explosives devices by attempting to activate them. Do not dispose of them in an unsafe manner on NEST or human areas. *Wheeljack, Ultra Magnus and other mech or femme Primus blessed enough to survive this event.

38. Medical personnel are not bound to or under the command of government liaison in regards to repairs and necessary upgrades as dictated by budget concerns. *Ratchet, First Aid, and Hoist

Ratchet and the new human liaison were practically snarling at each other. This one, the eighth replacement since Liaison Galloway, stood on the main hangar walkway, gripping the side bars tightly in his fists. "Your repairs are too costly! Raw metal I understand. Welding equipment I understand but not all these requests!" he gestured at the pile of forms to his left on the computer console.

"We are sophisticated living beings, not cheap assembly line toys! You build with inferior materials while we are combat ready for thousands of years! Aluminum and ordinary steel is paper light compared to our metals. We ground negative and carry plasma weapons. Each mech is a different size and specialist. Parts are not one size fits all!" The Autobot chief medic stated.

"Power lines, chip grids, and hose assemblies can be modified. Use duct tape!" The human ordered then began backing up as the blue optics before him turned red. Optimus grabbed his medic in a bear hug as Ironhide reached for his neck plating and triggered a force offlining.

"This is not over," Optimus warned the human, before picking up and carrying Ratchet out. He stepped over the human's car, parked in the middle of the approach apron without regard to designated areas or marked lines. A fleeting temptation to crush the silver Mercedes flashed across his processors but he refrained. Ironhide remained uncharacteristically quiet the entire way.

"Ratchet would never have hurt him." Ironhide said, once they reached the med bay.

"I know." Optimus laid the medic gently down on the recharge berth.

"I need him to fix my cannons." Ironhide commented, looking down at the prone figure of his teammate. "He's the only one who knows your wiring around the matrix."

"Relax, old friend." Optimus turned and faced the dark mech. "I won't offline him permanently. I know, my rule on not hurting humans but this does not qualify. It is the disregard of life that the rule is based on. The wrongness of the difference of our power and experience. We don't need to hurt them, if we are thinking, to defend ourselves. Ratchet's primary concern is life itself and he is exhausted He needs to recharge." Prime tapped his headpiece, sending out a private signal.

::First Aid, you are needed in med bay. Medical situation:: Prime called the apprentice medic.

::I'm kind of busy right now working with Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus. Working on that possible Decepticon bomb the humans found. Can Ratchet handle it?:: First Aid

::Ratchet is the medical situation:: Prime

::En route. What happened?:: First Aid

::Forced offlining. The human liaison triggered it:: Prime

::A human… is it to be permanent?:: First Aid

::Never. Temper, nothing more. Need you to online him. The medical sensors are too critical to do a mass reboot on. Ironhide will assist as needed:: Prime responded, feeling uneasy in his programming. He walked back to main staging hangar, pondering if the question had been the lack of time First Aid had spent with the Autobot team or the perception that he was too much like his brother Megatron. Did they fear he would truly attack or offline his own without justifiable cause? Did he appear that serious and uncaring? Even Ironhide had tried reasoning with him when all he wanted was to give Ratchet rest. He began processing about removing all shut down lock coding off his team. Freedom meant the right to choose, not be turned off.

In the adjacent lab building, Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus continued their examination of the square device. Dull grey, marked with a purple Decepticon symbol, it resembled an ordinary metal shipping container. A magnetic field blocked all attempts to scan its contents.

"I can find no access ports or triggers, nothing." Magnus commented, running his scans.

"It's a Decepticon anti seeker explosive containment device all right." Wheeljack stated. "But it does appear to be a dud." The scientist's side bars flashed green mixed with blue. His battle mask remained in place as always. "If it was charged, we would know it. Hold on, power links are always near the bottom section right about here," an access panel opened, and he began to work with settings.

The Decepticon signal blazed purple as the sound started. Tick tick tick.

"Know it was active like this?" Magnus asked, remotely triggering base alarms.

"Oh slag." Wheeljack answered, his side bars flashing yellow.

Outside the lab, humans jumped as the outer doors were flung open, crashing into the walls. "Throw it!" Wheeljack pointed, moving aside as Ultra Magnus's red and white shape ran out the doors, carrying a metal grey box. He balanced it in one hand then threw it up and over the nearest buildings, angling for the beach shore.

"Falling too fast," Wheeljack muttered, projecting its landing. Seconds later, a massive explosion rocked the entire area. Everyone ran towards the blast point, stopping in awe at the crater and burned out metal frame in the center.

::Was that one of us? Please Primus no:: Ultra Magnus

::No, human car:: Hound said, looking down into the hole. Ratchet, Ironhide and First Aid joined the gathering crowd.

"My car!" the liaison cried. "You did that on purpose! Now what am I suppose to drive?" He shouted at the gathered Autobots. Ratchet kneeled down, then gestured for the man to move closer.

"You want it fixed?" He asked. "Use duct tape."

In the end, the liaison quit and sent a bill for the value of the Mercedes. When the response arrived back it contained three pieces of paper. A fine by base security for being a in a clearly posted tow away zone, cost three hundred and three dollars, claim for replacement DENIED, due to own negligence.

A bill from Autobot Command for forty thousand dollars. If the car had not been there, they could have simply filled the hole and paved it over. Environmental laws required the removal and discarding of the car and all its parts to a recycling yard as well as EPA certification the land was clean and restored.

And a bill from Ratchet for personnel time and expense, for twelve thousand dollars, to remove all the pieces of the car least unnecessary damage and expense occur from scattered shrapnel to Autobot tires.

To be continued…