Super thanks to my beta Liz all my wonderful reviewers!

Felinity- I removed the notes, thanks for the heads up.

xikum- The revelation of Sev's past was truly by accident, although I like your theory.

Pt. 10

Note from Liz- I'm really sorry this has not been going up lately. It's my fault. Disosa's been relying on me to post this due to computer problems, and I haven't had much time to do it. I hope you accept my apology.

Severus and Harry drank their tea and ate their dessert slowly; it seemed neither was in a rush to get back to work. Almost as if they were content to simply sit in each other's presence. Eventually though, Harry broke the comfortable silence with an uncomfortable topic.

'Do you really reckon I could enter Vol- You-Know-Who's mind and read..er..decipher his thoughts? I mean, if I could get that good, I could really help out the Order. I could find out stuff to help Dumbledore.'

'I suppose you could, but it would be much too dangerous for you to attempt,' said Severus, who during Harry's little speech had been resisting the urge to tell him not to eat and talk at the same time. It was annoying, yet oddly mesmerising the way his mouth moved when chewing; his tongue occasionally running across his pink lips, moistening them and removing crumbs...Severus suddenly remembered his dream and certain things that tongue had done to him causing him to shift uneasily in his chair. He definately needed to put that memory in the Penseive.

He broke out of his innappropriate stupor ad tried to focus on the words Harry- who had started talking again- was saying, instead of the way his mouth moved whan he said them.

' -but if I worked really hard couldn't I try? I have no idea how to defeat Vol- thingie, maybe I coul fid out his weakness or something? I was i his head without him knowing before-'

Severus put up a hand to stop him.

'No Potter. It ill be hard enough for you to stop the Dark Lord from penertrating your thoughts. To attempt anything else would be sheer stupidity,' Severus gave him an arch glance, 'although that hasn't stopped you before.'

Harry smiled as if remembering on of his stupid moments fondly. The older man was struck by how beautiful the boy looked and the way his vivid emerald eyes sparkled.

'Yeah, but-' started Harry again, having broken out of his reverie.

'No Potter. He is much too powerful. Now if you've finished resting and suggesting ridiculous ideas, I think it time we continue.'

Severus cleared away the tea things with a wave of his wand. While his student got into place he put the dream memory and any other personal or embarrasing thing he could think of in the Penseive. He then put it back in the cabinet he took it from and relocked it securely. When he found Harry looking at his actions curiously he said:

'A precaution which your inability to mind your own business deems necessary.' Severus could not keep the malice from his voice as he said it, causing Harry to wince.

'I'm really sorry Professor...for that and today, you don't know how sorry I am.'

He did not know what to make of that so he ignored it.

'Legilimens!'

Severus caught Harry off guard, but instead of being bombarded by images he saw what they boy had apparently been thinking off before he cast the spell.

It was the last conversation he had with his godfather before his untimely death.

Harry was talking to Sirius and Lupin, asking them about the memory.

Before Severus could see the whole thing he was pushed out forcefully from his students mind. The last thing he saw was Harry telling them his Occlumency lessons had stopped.

He and Harry looked at each other, both breathing heavily.

Severus felt like he should say something, but didn't know what. He had not realised that Harry had been disturbed by his memory. He thought if anything he would have found his humiliation funny. He really did not think the boy would have been distressed.

'Potter I...'

'I really am sorry,' said Harry looking much older than his years.

'Yes, yes I know that now.' Though Severus was loathe to admit it, James was not a bad perso. Coceited yes, but he was young, popular and talented and like most people in that position, he grew out of it eventually. 'Potter,' he began finally, 'your father was not as terrible as he seemed. Or rather as I made him out to be. He hated me yes, but the feeling was mutual and we tried to hex each other whenever possible, not unlike you and Draco Malfoy. In fact I heard tell of him being turned into a slug sometime ago.'

'Yeah, well he deserved it.'

'And your father thougt I deserved everything he did to me as I thought he deserved everythig I did to him. Though we could never really stand the sight of one another, we matured and eventually could be almost civil.'

'Almost?'

'Well we didn't hex each other constantly,' huffed Severus, causing a small smile to play on Harry's lips.

'Yeah, okay...' said Harry who was looking around the room, anywhere but his professor's face. 'Thanks,' he mumbled while staring at a jar of frog livers. 'And just so you know, I don't care about what I saw today. It doesn't matter to me.'

Severus found that his throat constricted too tightly to speak, but a feeling of relief came over him, though he did not know why.

'Well Potter,' said the Potions Master when he finally found his voice,'if you are ready we can continue.'

'You could call me Harry you know.'

Severus was taken aback by the suddeness and bluntness of the statement.

'I'd rather I don't,' said he after he collected himself.

'It's my name and I'd rather you do.'

Severus raised o eyebrow elegantly at his rude tone. Without saying a word he was able to remind Harry that he, Severus, was his professor and Harry the student. And not matter how well they had been getting along he better not forget it.

'You kow what, sir ? I actually am tired, so if you don't mind I'd like to leave,' said Harry testily.

'Yes, you are excused,' replied Severus feelig upset.

Harry left the room without another word.

Severus sank into his chair suddenly exhausted. The day's session had been a real trial. It was hard enough being around the boy with the knowledge of the dream on his mind, but what made it worse was that instead of staying on edge he was able to relax around him despite it.

He knew he was stupid for dismissing him like that, especially after he said he didn't care about the memory of him being a Death Eater, but he knew he was gettig to close to him.

He should not be thinking about him the way he was. He should not want to call him Harry and Harry should not want it either. What would he do if he knew the way Severus was thinking about him?

That night after Severus had completed all his tasks, he paced around his bedroom trying to dodge sleep. He told himself he was not actually trying to avoid sleep, but rather he was trying to work off the desserts he'd had that day. He needed to stay fit after all and pacing was a fine form of excercise. The truth of the matter however, was that

Severus was afraid to sleep, lest he dream of a certain student.

It was sick really, him having fantasies about a sixteen year old boy. Although, sixteen was practically eighteen, which made him like twenty

That's not bad

Eventually Severus was forced to surreder himself to sleep and later in his dreams, surreder himself to Harry.