911ost
Nine one one...Nine one one...Nine one one...Nine one, lost
Emergency, this blood on my hands isnt killing me
Take these broken reigns, away from me
In the aftermath while eyes fade to green
To black, fade to green to black, fade to green
SAVE ME!~
Emergency, this blood on my hands isnt killing me
Take these broken reigns, away from me
In the aftermath while eyes fade to green
Dr. V'ler and Lieutenant Finch are left in the room alone both not knowing what to say. The Asari doctor was only trying to reassure Shepard and did not mean to upset the Commander. She was only trying to help with the Commanders recovery so she can get her memories back but she feels as if she pushed too hard and caused Shepard to close herself off. She only said a few words but the look of despair that came across the Commanders face was one the Asari doctor will never forget. She starts to think back to when she first walked into the room and where it went wrong. Dr. V'ler initially wanted to follow Shepard and apologize but quickly stopped. As much as she wanted to comfort the Commander she knew to leave her alone to her thoughts and let Shepard figure things out on her own. It may not be the best course of action to take but the Commander just woke up and realized her love and crew were gone and the guilt was eating at her that she was still alive. Miranda had explained how Shepard would react to certain situations, seeing it first hand after serving with her on the Normandy. Lawson informed the Asari doctor all about her feelings for Liara and her crew and she was trying to understand what the Commander was going through at the moment but didn't believe she should be left alone too long. It worried everyone that Shepard may give up and try to hurt herself and the Asari was hopeful this would not be the case and Shepards friends and loved ones could be found. Even if they couldn't and they were all gone as Shepard herself had said the Commander needed to live her life and not let loss break her down. Dr V'ler was unfamiliar with human emotions and their mindset but if it was anything like the Asari she had seen it before. She had seen her fellow commandos fall apart after losing a close friend or loved one and it was not something you could ever get used too. Watching someone fall apart after a horrific ordeal was horrible to witness. Giving up and not wanting to go on with life was a thought Dr. V'ler had a hard time imagining herself going through. She loved life and everything in it. Yes there were horrible things to have to witness in a person's lifetime especially an Asaris with as long as they lived but with the evil that is out there she also knew that the amazing gift that is life is enough of a reason to push through all the turmoil. This was the reason for the Asari becoming a doctor to help get her patients back on their feet physically and emotionally. She prided herself on her caring manner she displayed when dealing with a patient. She knew people would become withdrawn and difficult when having to deal with too much physical and emotional pain and the realization of ones mortality is normally at the forefront of a patients mind when injured and hurting. She only hoped the commander would not shut everyone out who was trying to help her and allow herself to live. Dr. V'Ler was brought back to reality when Lieutenant Finch starts to talk.
" Well that could have gone better."
The doctor furrows her brow a little and stares at the young human woman. " Yes I believe it could have but the Commander is strong and seems to need time to…process everything."
"You think?" Finch says sarcastic as ever. "She needs to leave, it is the only thing that will help her, not doctors and spectators fawning all over her trying to get a glimpse of the 'Hero of the Galaxy', everyone just needs to give her a break already…shes been through enough for even your lifetime…
"Do not tell me what to do human. You have no idea who I am or what my reasoning is for being here." The asari doctor interrupts. " I do not tell you how to do your job I would appreciate you do the same. I have seen this before and as much as Shepard wants to be alone she needs everyone supporting her…not making jokes." The last comment directed solely at the younger human in front of her. Dr. V'ler didn't understand this 'coping mechanism' as Miranda had called it, the young human would use in tense situations. The Asari doctor always felt it necessary to deal with problems straight forward and as quick as possible and not skirt around problems by making light of the situation but Asari where not known for their sense of humor.
Being slightly offended the human states. "Look I only do it when I know for certain she and anyone else needs to think about something else so they don't dwell on the negative. It has helped me and I know it has helped Shepard. She let her guard down and became less withdrawn when I joked with her. You should try it, be less stiff." Rebecca didn't know much about the Asari as a race but from what she witnessed of the doctor she had a huge stick up her ass and was way to serious.
"Again, do Not tell me how I should perform my work…worry about your own recovery human and do not concern yourself with things you have no knowledge of." Dr. V'ler was quickly growing tired of this human in front of her as she had no idea of what she was talking about.
Rebecca is getting aggravated and she starts to get up to yell at this stuck up bitch in front of her but gets interrupted.
Dr. V'ler do you know where Shepard went I needed to perform a scan and discuss her recovery process?" Miranda says as she walks into the room. As she looks up from her data pad she realizes she has walked into the middle of something. Sighing a little not really wanting to deal with whatever it is she reluctantly asks. "What is going on in here? Doctor I asked you to check on Shepard, where did she go?"
Before the doctor can answer, Rebecca chimes in still agitated with the conversation she was having. "Doctor blue over there came in and asked a question. The commander realized she had the personality of a pile of dog sh…"
"Enough… I don't care what happened between you two; my concern is for the commander only. Now where is she?
The Asari doctor is staring daggers at the younger human in the room and neither are standing down. She is starting to lose her patience with her and is getting upset by how much Rebecca is unnerving her. Slowly calming down she says. " I came in the room to check on the commander and she seemed to remember me almost immediately and I made a comment on how impressed I was that she remembered me and she seemed to be recovering well from her memory loss but…" Trailing off a little. "She became upset immediately and asked that I stopped talking. I'm not sure what I did."
Miranda becomes concerned immediately; that a simple statement could upset Shepard. Miranda knew she was hurting but something was not quite right with the explanation she was receiving and knew there was more. "Doctor I need to know what you said exactly. It doesn't make sense she would act like this."
The Asari doctor explained what was said, skipping the argument she had with the other patient in the room. She felt it unprofessional on her part that she got into it with a patient no matter how rude the human was being.
Miranda reassured Dr. V'ler that she didn't do anything wrong, per se and reminded the Asari doctor about when Shepard woke up during her recovery and thought she was Liara. The doctor felt bad about upsetting the Commander but knew it was unintentional. She still wanted to reach out and apologize to the commander but Miranda told her she needed time and will comeback to the room soon enough and they could all talk then.
"If you see her please let me know as soon as possible I have to get a scan of her new synthetic implants. I need to make sure her body and the naniets in her blood are not rejecting them." Miranda was forgetting about the young alliance officer as she was looking at her data pad but suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Miranda, perhaps we should discuss this in private?"
Miranda sighs and closes her eyes realizing she made a mistake and knew she would have to explain it to Rebecca without revealing too much. She saw the look on the Lieutenants face and held her hand out to stop the endless flow of questions that were going to come next but they came anyway.
"What the hell are you talking about Miranda? I knew there was something going on dammit. You just could keep your hands off her could you… Cerberus will never leave her alone will they? Even with everything she has done you just couldn't help yourself by doing more experiments on her could you? I read up on you after we met… Something didn't add up, a civilian being in charge of the Commanders well-being…no way so I want to know right now what you did before I have you arrested or shot for being a traitor."
Miranda knew it was none of her business but she had made a mistake and talked about private medical information in front of a another patient. She never made mistakes and it was aggravating her to no end. She was trying to come up with something to say but could not come up with anything. Even though she had the backing of Admiral Hackett she knew if specifics were given to him or the alliance and council she could be arrested or worse. Shepard is a spectre and the Council could easily take back their pardon. Even if there was nothing they could do to her about replacing Shepards implants and 'playing god' again by extending her life she could be charged with anything the Council wanted as everyone left in the galaxy was still reeling from the war and pissed about Cerberus and their role in it. She could be used as an example no matter how she helped Shepard and didn't want to think about it so she sighs again closes the door, explaining everything.
The rest of her trip around the hospital went by without an issue. Shepard had made her way outside and was happy at the view she saw. It was a clear day, sun was starting to go down but the air was still. Her green eyes stared off enjoying the mountains in the distance. It was a beautiful sight and it was one she had not seen in a long time. Peace, it was hard to think there were still views like this after seeing the devastation on all the planets she went to especially on Earth. This area seemed untouched by the war and Shepard was happy for what she saw in front of her.
It had been three years since she saw a view like this; it was after they defeated Saren then given shore leave and she brought Liara to Earth. They went to a remote island in the pacific away from prying eyes. They had the place to themselves and they spent the entire time there enjoying each other physically and emotionally. They got lost in each other learning who the other one was on every level. They started to develop a true loving relationship with each passing day. By the time they left the feelings they had for each other were stronger than they had ever felt. The next place they went to was Thessia. She had to console Liara when they finally made it to her home in Armali. Liara hadn't seen it in years and the last time she was there her and her mother fought. Liara barely made it to the front door when the tears started. Shepard embraced the Asari for a moment telling her she would be there for Liara and they would get through this together. Shepard still felt horrible with what happened with Benezia and still blamed herself even though Liara never did. They finished the tour of the house looking for anything recent that could tell them why she felt it necessary to join Saren. All they found was a note to Liara…
Little wing, I only wish our last meeting was happier one and did not end in you walking out. It has been so long since I have seen you I only wish I could have been there for you more as a child. I regret what I said and I need you to know that I have always been proud of you in every journey you have gone on. You may hear things about the journey I am about to partake in but I feel it necessary in order to possibly save the galaxy. I fear I may not succeed so I must insist you find safety as there is a threat looming and if I fail I fear all may be lost. Remember I love you little wing. Be safe and I hope our reunion can be a joyous one.
Shepard starts to feel heat behind her eyes at the sadness she saw on Liaras face after her confrontation with Benezia on Noveria. The initial look Liara gave her after she killed her mother was filled with hate and she could barely be in the same room with Liara after. All she wanted to do was console her and apologize for taking her mother's life but felt she would only cause more pain and remind them both of what Shepard had done. Her thoughts started to darken as well as her mood. Dammit, I killed her whole family, how the hell could she forgive me, why did she?
"No, do not do this, not now." She whispered to herself trying to hold it together. She tried desperately to push her memory away; this is not what she wanted to think about.
"You know you keep talking to yourself people are going to think you're crazy, make you stay in here longer." A garbled voice came from a hooded figure that sat in the corner off to the one side. Smoke billowed though the air and whoever this was had been drinking something, she guessed it was alcohol. Shepard couldn't see a face and she could barely see where this person was. She decided that it would be a nice distraction and continue the conversation anyway.
"Yeah I have heard that too. You a patient here or just visiting?
"Just visiting but im trying figure out if I want to look at them right now."
Shepard became slightly curious. "Well I'm sure whoever you're trying to see has been sent here for a reason and may need a familiar face. Don't you think you owe it to yourself and whoever you're here for to try and see them?"
"You get any visitors yet Commander?"
The title didn't concern her; people knew her but avoiding the question starts to peak her interest as to whom this person was. "No visitors yet but I think they are trying to keep my being here a low profile and since you know who I am it looks like they failed. By the way you have a name?
"Just know there are a lot of people waiting for you when you get out of here."
Shepard's internal alarms were blaring and she was becoming agitated. "If you're trying to intimidate me it's not working. You can tell anyone 'waiting for me' as you so put it that I am here, not going anywhere for a while they can come get me." The more she thought about fighting the more she grew tired. It was over for her she had nothing left to fight for
"Then if you're not going to put up any kind of fight then what's the point then. You might as well stay here and die alone and miserable."
"I don't know who the fuck you think you are but if you have a problem with me I'm right here." Her voice growing louder with last two words. "If you want me dead then do me a favor and put a bullet in my head now, I have nothing left so just get it over with! The sun had completely set and the poor lighting made it hard for her to see. She became nervous when the hooded figure walked towards her. She wanted to get up but all her muscles ached and as she noticed her apparent killer was only a few feet away sopping but still to far away to see who it was.
"You have a lot to live for so do us all a favor and don't give up." With that statement the mysterious person walks away leaving the commander more confused than when she woke up this morning. She looked around but saw whoever this was had disappeared so she plays it off as some nut wanting to get their kicks. She starts to go back inside when she notices an audience crowding around her so she decides to go back to her room, clean up, eat and get some rest. She knew she needed to talk to Miranda but didn't want to see anyone right now. Before she could make it to the door she hears a familiar voice.
"Keelah, Shepard you're okay."