Disclaimer: Obviously Passions does not belong to me. If it did, you can be guaranteed that the characters would've drive the story, rather than story driving the characters. But that's a rant for a different place and time. :)

Chapter Nine: "Bliss is Ignorant"

December 6, 2005

Christmas is coming soon, but for some reason, I haven't been able to get into the spirit. Genevieve gets after me; I know she worries, but I can't help it. It's hard to feel happy when I know what true happiness is, and it's now beyond my grasp. Sometimes I think it would be better not to know, but at other times, those wonderful memories sustain me.

One of my happiest memories is the night I became Ethan's wife.

Theresa Crane.

When I was a little girl, I always thought it had a nice ring to it. All my dreams, all my fantasies revolved around a fairy tale moment when I would become Mrs. Ethan Crane. I was so silly with the crush I had on Ethan. Yet I came to know the man behind the name, the wonderful man, and I couldn't help but love him.

I still remember how he held my hands in his as we said our vows. I didn't think it was possible to feel so much at once—excitement, hope, trust, anticipation, and all-consuming love. Yet I could see those same feelings I had for him mirrored in his eyes. I remember how he tenderly touched my face before kissing me after we became husband and wife. My heart swelled with joy.

There was no one in the world but us.

January 23, 2001

"Mmmm," Theresa sighed as the warm wind coming off the ocean gently blew against her skin. "This feels amazing. You know, this could really spoil a girl and make her not want to go back to face a New England winter."

Ethan stood behind her, his hands spanning her waist. Gently, he pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her.

"And this feels even better," she said softly. "I can't believe we did it. I can't believe that we're actually husband and wife."

"Believe it," Ethan murmured into her ear. "You are stuck with me, Mrs. Crane."

"I could think of worse things," she teased.

He rested his chin on the top of her head, reveling in her closeness. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Ethan," she said softly, her body melting in his embrace. It was a perfect moment, and it scared her. Every time something wonderful happened, it was always followed by outside interference, lies, and manipulations.

Ethan sensed her pensiveness. "What is it, Resa? Are you thinking about our families?"

"They're going to throw everything they have at us."

"Let them try," he replied protectively. "Nothing and no one is going to keep me away from you. I will always love you--always. Nothing could change that."

"Things aren't going to be easy for us."

He laughed lightly. "Things never have been. Look at the last time we were here together."

"What do you mean?"

"It took me so long to see what has been in front of me all along. Last time we were here, I was fighting it. I kept telling myself that those feelings I had for you had no right to exist. But look at us now. We're in love, we've just been married, the whole world is ahead of us filled with wonderful possibilities."

She turned around and smiled at him. "And we get to greet those wonderful possibilities--together." She took one of his hands in hers and lightly rubbed the back of it with her finger. "I remember the last time vividly. I wanted to be close to you. So much. I even dreamed about you."

"You dreamed about me?"

She felt her cheeks grow warm as she remembered the dream of Ethan coming to her room, of herself inviting him into her bed. She'd wondered for so long what it would be like to make love to him, for him to whisper loving words in her ear, to wake up in his arms. Timidly, she nodded.

He stroked her cheek, amused by her embarrassment. "What were you dreaming of?" he asked huskily as he leaned down, their lips only inches apart.

"I dreamed of being as close as two people can be. I dreamed of making love to you, Ethan. Imagine my disappointment that it was just a dream."

He drew in a deep breath. "Mine too."

Knowing that she'd wanted him, too, made him feel feverish. How many nights had he imagined what it would be like to hold her, to feel her move under him, to be planted deep inside of her? Just the thought of being that close to her was enough to arouse him.

"The disappointment ends tonight," she said before wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

She parted her lips, allowing his tongue to delve into her mouth, bringing with it sensations that made her want so much more from him. She leaned into him, feeling his hardness against her abdomen. She secretly delighted in the knowledge that he wanted her just as she wanted him.

Overwhelming emotions coursed through her. The happiness, the desire, was almost unbearable.

How she loved Ethan!

She would never let anyone or anything come between them.

She needed him like she needed air.

Ethan moaned quietly as he felt her hips move gently against him. He ran his hands down her back, pulling her closer. Did she have any idea of what she was doing to him?

He couldn't get enough of her--enough of their kisses. He wanted to devour her. She was so responsive, so eager, in his arms. He could feel the hard tips of her breasts pressing against him through the thin material of her wedding gown. He wanted to touch her, to feast on her, to show her that she was his everything.

Overwhelming emotions coursed through him. The happiness, the desire, was almost unbearable.

How he loved Theresa!

He would never let anyone or anything come between them.

He needed her like he needed air.

They continued to kiss, lost in their growing passion until Theresa pulled back. Her heart pounded so quickly! Could he tell? Her lips were swollen from their kisses; her chest heaving. "Ethan, I want to show you how I feel."

Ethan thought his heart was going to stop when he saw the fierce longing in her dark eyes. It mirrored his own desire for her. She wanted to be with him just as badly as he wanted to be with her.

He took her hand in his, lightly kissing each of her fingertips before possessing her mouth again.

Deftly, he picked up her light frame, carrying her across the beach and into the house. Up the stairs he took her before stopping in front of a door. Turning the knob, the door swung open.

Theresa gasped. The room was beautiful. Lit only with candles, it was the large bed in the center of the room that captured her attention. It was covered with rose petals.

He carried her over the threshold and set her down. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she twirled around in glee. "Ethan, this is perfect! How did you manage it?"

He smiled upon seeing her enthusiasm. "A few strings here, a few strings there. I only wish I could have done more."

"But don't you know that you've already given me so much?"

"I just want to shower you with everything, Theresa. I want to give you anything and everything you've ever wanted. I want to show you the world and see things through your eyes."

She took his hands in hers. "Don't you know that I already have everything I want? I have you, and that's all that matters to me. It's all I've ever wanted."

"How did I get so lucky? God, Resa, I never knew that love could be like this. When you walk into a room, I feel like the happiest man alive. When you aren't near me, I feel as though part of me is missing. You're the first thing I think of when I awaken each morning and my last thought each night."

She smiled as she pulled him closer. "And just what do you think of when you go to sleep each night, Mr. Crane?" Her voice was low, hushed, and he thought incredibly sexy.

"What do you think I think of?" he teased as he lightly breathed against her ear. He gently nipped at her ear before tracing achingly slow kisses down her neck.

Her breath caught within her. She loved his touches, his kisses.

"The same thing I've thought of. This night. Being with you," she whispered. "Of course, I can't be entirely sure. Perhaps you should show me."

"And if I were to show you…." He teased as he ran kisses along her jaw.

Theresa sighed and pulled him closer, her heart pounding in her ears. "Then perhaps I could show you some of the things I've been thinking about."

Ethan couldn't believe the feelings she elicited within him. His Resa, his beautiful Resa, wanted him. Had always wanted him.

The desire to join with her was almost overwhelming to his senses. Knowing that she'd wondered about him, dreamed of him, loved him, was enough to make his need for her painfully obvious.

He'd never felt like this before. Never.

"What did you have in mind, Mrs. Crane?" he asked huskily as he felt her fingers bury into his hair at the nape of his neck.

Theresa felt her cheeks redden. She wasn't experienced in the art of seduction and wasn't entirely certain of what to do. She moved against him and could hear his groan and feel the evidence of his desire for her.

"Well….," she began, "I have a lot of learning to do. I was thinking that maybe you could teach me a few things…"

__

Three Days Later

Theresa's eyes raked over Ethan's body as he stepped into the hot tub on the deck of the house. She was unaccustomed to such luxury; but as she heard the fierce lapping of the ocean waves on the beach just a few hundred feet away, she was starting to think she could get used to being in paradise....just so long as Ethan was with her.

Ethan caught her staring at him as he sank into the water and smiled. "See something you like?"

He watched as her eyelids dropped slightly, looking at him through chocolate colored eyes veiled with long, dark lashes. She was beautiful, so amazingly beautiful with her dark eyes and luxuriously long and thick hair. Her smile had the ability to make him feel feverish on the coldest of days. Her lips were full, soft, and utterly kissable. But more importantly, she was the most amazing woman he'd ever known. She was kind-hearted, honest, and so full of life. She was innocent, naive really, about so many things, but she was also his temptress.

Looking at Ethan, Theresa's heart swelled with love for him. Ethan was everything she'd ever wanted, and she was finally living her fairy tale. She was determined that they would have their happily ever after.

"I more than like what I see," Theresa replied as she focused on his crystal blue eyes, the eyes she intended to look into each morning for the rest of her life.

Ethan gasped when he felt her foot rubbing against his leg and working its way up. "It seems we've formed a mutual admiration society," he said with a wink.

"What do you suggest we do about it, Mr. Crane?"

"Why don't you come a little closer, Mrs. Crane, and I'll show you."

Theresa smiled as she slowly moved toward him. Ethan's heart pounded as he watched her. He knew she was teasing him, and it was driving him crazy. His eyes studied the curves of her body, noting how her naked flesh glistened in the water.

She closed the gap between them and straddled his lap, their lips only inches apart. "Now, what was it you were going to show me?" she asked as she moved ever-so-slightly against him.

Sensations rushed through his body, and he was almost at a loss for words. "My temptress..." he whispered before capturing her lips with his own. He kissed her tenderly at first, taking in the texture and fullness of her lips. Yet when she returned his kiss with a fervency that literally took his breath away, his kisses became more insistent. His tongue swept into her mouth, plundering her, tasting her.

She protested as his mouth moved away from hers, but the protestations were quickly replaced by moans of pleasure as Ethan nibbled on her earlobe before moving down and nuzzling her neck.

He sighed when he felt her rapid pulse and took in the scent of her soft skin. Her heart beat quickly, as did his. It thrilled him to know that he was having as much an effect on her as she was on him.

She buried her fingers in his sandy colored hair. It was as though she just couldn't get close enough to him. "Ethan...."

Ethan kissed a trail to her left breast. His tongue flickered across her hardened nipple before he took her in his mouth and gently sucked. She cried out at the intense pleasure she was feeling, but another feeling began to take hold within her as well: an aching that only he could alleviate.

Feeling his hardness and size against her, she knew he was feeling that same aching. She pulled away from him slightly. He looked at her, his eyes dark with desire. "I need you," he said hoarsely.

"By all means..."

She moved against him, repositioning herself until she felt him against her opening. Surprised but pleased by her boldness, he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her against him until he she had taken him deep.

Some time later, they remained in the hot tub, wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the afterglow of the intense pleasure and closeness they had shared.

"I wish this moment could last forever," Theresa sighed as she wound her slender arms around Ethan's neck and rested her head against his chest.

Ethan ran his fingers up and down her bare back and kissed the top of her head. "Theresa, we're going to have so many wonderful moments, so many wonderful memories. You'll see."

Her eyes clamped shut, wanting to focus only on his touch. But there was so much to think about...so much she didn't want to think about. "I guess I'm just a little scared about going back. These last four days have been paradise...almost like there's no one in the world but us. I love being your wife. I love falling asleep in your arms and waking up next to you. I love laughing with you. But when we return to Harmony, we're going to be walking into the fire."

He nodded, memories flooding his mind of what he and Theresa heard the night they left Harmony. "I've been thinking a lot about what we left behind....and what we'll be going back to."

"That's just it, Ethan. I don't want to go back!" Theresa said emphatically.

"We can't just disappear," he said softly.

"Why not?"

His fingers toyed with a strand of hair that had fallen from the clip she wore. "For starters, there's your mother and Miguel to think about. Pilar has already lost her husband and son. She can't lose you, too. Miguel, either. He needs his sister."

Theresa swallowed hard. Her mother was going to have a difficult time accepting their marriage, but Ethan was right. She could not hurt her mother by never going back. She'd already seen drastic changes in the once vivacious woman. If they were to not go back, it would kill her.

Ethan continued, "And then there's the matter of my family. God, how can they even be called that after what they've done?" He felt sick knowing that the people he'd grown up loving, grown up admiring, could be so cold-blooded. What did that mean for him? Would the time come when he, too, would morph into one of them? Would he take on the not-so-admirable characteristics of the Crane men? No. He would not let that happen. "They would never stop looking for us. No, this cycle needs to end now, and we have to make sure that Alistair and Julian are never able to hurt anyone else again."

Tears filled her eyes. "How do we stop this, Ethan? You said by taking away what they want most, but they killed my father and brother. That can't go unpunished."

"It won't, Theresa. It won't."

His tone held a coldness that Theresa had never heard before. It sent chills down her spine. "It sounds as though you've been thinking about this."

"I have."

Theresa pulled back slightly and looked at her husband, seeing the anger and hurt in his blue eyes. Lightly, she stroked his face, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. "This hurts you, too. I'm so sorry, Ethan. Maybe it would have been better had you never known. Maybe Mama was right. Maybe all of this was a mistake."

"Theresa, knowing the truth can never be a mistake!" Ethan replied resolutely. "Yes, your mother wanted us to stop seeing each other to 'protect' us, but would either of us have been happy with that?"

"No, but..."

"No buts. When it comes down to it, my grandfather and father would have tried another method to control me, even if you'd not been in the picture. It would have been something else."

"But if I weren't in the picture, you would be married to Gwen now. They know that, and it's something they've wanted for so long. It's something they still want. They also know that she's circling us like a buzzard just waiting for you to get tired of me and toss me aside. She's counting the days, and if she can expedite the process, you better believe she's going to try!"

"Theresa, that will never happen. Besides, Gwen isn't like that."

"Isn't she, Ethan? You don't know her the way I do."

Ethan couldn't help but laugh lightly at his wife's words, but it was an uneasy laugh. "Theresa, I've known her practically my entire life."

"But you've only seen the side of her that she wants you to see, Ethan. It's almost like she's two different people. On one hand, she can be very kind, caring, sweet even. Then she can turn around and say and do the most terrible things."

"Once she finds out that we're married, she'll respect that, Resa."

"I know you honestly believe that, but I know better. I'm almost as afraid of what she'll do as I am of what your family will do."

"When I'm done, no one will be able to touch us, my love."

"What are you going to do, Ethan?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but...."

"The less you know on the outset, the better."

"Ethan, this scares me. I don't want you getting pulled in further or sinking to their level. I just--I just love you so much, and if something were to happen to you, I don't know what I would do."

He touched her face gently. "Nothing bad is going to happen to me, Resa, or to us. We're going to be together for the rest of our lives. We're going to have children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I'm going to show you the world, and we're going to have so many firsts together. I am going to love you always."

"Even when I'm old and wrinkly?"

He smiled. "I'll be old and wrinkly right along with you."

"Even when we fight, and I make you very angry?"

"Then we can always look forward to making up," he replied with a gentle kiss.

She paused for a minute, a small smile forming on her lips.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

Her fingertips traced the contours of his cheeks. "Well....." she began, "I was wondering what I could do to make you angry....so that we could make up."

He smiled before brushing his lips lightly against hers. She lightly sucked on his bottom lip, and she heard him groan in satisfaction.

Their passion for one another grew, and for a few brief, beautiful moments, all was forgotten as they reveled in their love for one another.

____

"Where have you been, Theresita?" Pilar asked, with her arms crossed, as well as a cross expression on her face.

Theresa gulped as she set her bags down. She'd not expected to find her mother waiting for her as she entered the small house. The frigid weather was a stark contrast to the sun and warmth of Bermuda, but the coldness she felt as she closed the door to the outside was not merely a result of winter. Nothing had been right in the Lopez-Fitzgerald house for months.

Be strong, Theresa.

Begrudgingly, she'd removed her engagement and wedding rings and would not wear them until everything was settled with Ethan and the Cranes. If word were to get out before his plan was set in motion.....

Theresa forced a smile on her face. She tried to answer lightly. "You know where I was. I'm sorry that I didn't call you, Mama. I've just been so busy with school...."

Frustration spilled from Pilar. "Do not lie to me, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald. Dios mio! How did I have such a child who lies as easily as she tells the truth?"

"Mama, please!"

"You were not with Whitney. Where were you?"

"What makes you say I wasn't with Whitney?" Theresa asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"One of your classmates called. Stephen Rutledge, I believe. He was concerned because you had not been in class for several days. He wanted to make certain that nothing was wrong. Naturally, I was concerned as well. Whitney tried to cover for you, which makes me very sad. It's terrible enough for you to lie, but for you to drag your friends into your deception...."

Theresa interrupted. "I was a little under the weather, but what better place to be when I'm sick than at Whitney's? I mean, her mom's a doctor and everything....."

"Yes, you were so under the weather, you managed to get a tan in the middle of winter," Pilar noted.

Theresa hands flew up to her face. "Dear Lord." She'd not even considered the tan she had acquired under the hot island sun.

"Shall I continue? Would you care to explain Ethan's absence on a sudden legal case that happened to coincide with your lack of availability? Or the tan line on your left ring finger?"

Theresa felt a sinking in the pit of her stomach. It was not supposed to happen like this! Ethan was going to come over, and they were going to tell her mother about their marriage together---after everything was settled with his family.

"Mama, I--"

Pilar's hands cut through the air. "Enough, Theresa! Enough!"

Theresa's eyes burned with tears.

Pilar looked at her daughter, anger and hurt burning with in. "Tears are not going to make this go away, mi hija. What have you and Ethan done?"

"We wanted to tell you together, after everything was taken care of."

"El dios nos ayuda todo," Pilar muttered. "After everything I told you, you disregarded my warnings and foolishly married Ethan anyway."

Theresa felt her own hurt and anger surge. "I love Ethan. No amount of warnings can change that fact. And he loves me! We married each other, not out of a sense of foolishness, but because we love each other."

"Then why, Theresa, did you try to sneak in here, lying about your whereabouts as well as your new marriage?"

"There is more going on, Mama. Please, come and sit with me. Let's talk about this calmly. I will make you some tea, and we'll get everything straightened out," she said as soothingly as her frayed nerves would allow.

"I do not want your tea, Theresa. I want the truth."

Theresa nodded. She walked to the sofa in the living room, lightly patted the cushion next to her, and waited until her mother sat.

Theresa turned sideways and took her mother's hands in her own. "Five nights ago, I got out of class early. Do you remember?"

Pilar nodded. She remembered all too well, for she'd instructed Theresa to go home, and her head-strong child would not listen to her. "Yes, and you showed up at the Crane Mansion. Mr. Alistair was there that night."

Theresa continued. "Yes, he was. I--I went up to see Ethan, and he was so eager for me to meet his grandfather. We went to the study, but we stopped in the hall when we heard voices because they sounded so angry. Alistair and Julian were arguing, and we heard Alistair say the most terrible things. So that made Ethan and me realize that it was crazy for us to wait to get married. We left for Bermuda that night, and we married in a small ceremony. We love each other so much, Mama, and we are happy."

"Back up a moment," Pilar instructed. "Just what 'terrible things' did you and Ethan hear as you eavesdropped?"

"That's not important right now, Mama. Ethan is taking care of everything."

"Digame, Theresa. What did they say?" Pilar demanded.

Theresa hesitated. How much should she tell her mother? Nothing? Everything? Bits and pieces? "I'd rather wait until Ethan gets here, Mama."

"I didn't ask what you would rather do. You are my daughter, and I am still your mother. I asked you a question, and I expect you to answer it."

Mother and daughter's eyes met. Theresa swallowed hard. She couldn't tell her mother everything, not yet. Not until she knew everything was going to be alright; not until she knew her family was going to be safe.

"They were just very unhappy that Ethan broke off his engagement to Gwen. They spoke of measures they planned to take to insure that Ethan married Gwen."

"But the engagement ended so long ago," Pilar said.

"Yes, I know. It was terribly shocking when we heard the conversation."

"And what does Ethan intend to do? He would no sooner turn on his own kind than he would continue this marriage. Oh, it's very romantic, I suppose, in a young man's mind to go against his family's wishes, but in the light of day...."

Theresa jerked her hands away from her mother. "Ethan did not marry me on some misguided romantic notion. This is the real thing, Mama."

"Then he married you so you would sleep with him."

"You know Ethan is not like that!"

Pilar sighed. "Either way, he will grow tired of his family's disapproval, and he will return to what he knows."

"Ethan will never be part of that family again, Mama," Theresa said vehemently.

Pilar's eyebrows shot up. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Theresa replied turning away.

Pilar touched her daughter's shoulder and forced her around. "You do know what I'm talking about. Why are you being so evasive? What more could there be? What more...." her voice trailed off, realization dawning on her. "Martin.....Luis. This isn't just about you, Theresa. This is about your father and brother!"

"Mama..."

Pilar placed her hands on Theresa's shoulders. "Tell me what you know!"

"I can't!"

"You must! How many years have I wondered about my Martin? How many years, Theresa? And now your brother is gone, the person who shot him going uncaught. It was planned perfectly, Theresa. Too perfectly. Now, tell me what you know!"

"I can't say anymore right now. It's not safe, Mama."

Theresa pulled away from Pilar, her mother's raw emotions mirroring her own. As much as she had tried to push down the agony of knowing that her father and brother died at someone else's hands, the pain kept manifesting itself. Yet she'd had more time to process the information than her mother.

Pilar shook her head. "What have you done, Theresa?" she cried out. "What have you done? You've made matters ten times worse! Oh God! My Martin! My nino!"

Sobs wracked Pilar's body, and Theresa held her mother as grief poured from her. It was a long time before she regained her composure. With red, swollen eyes, she looked at Theresa. "Prepare yourself, mi hija. Ethan will not be able to withstand the pull of Alistair and Julian. The Cranes are very....persuasive. He has lived in their world all his life. He will not give that up."

Theresa's mind flashed back to the papers she'd seen in Mrs. Crane's attaché case the night her curiosity got the better of her. "Ethan is not a Crane!"

"Silencio! You must never speak those words again!"

"Ethan deserves to know the truth, Mama. Especially now."

Theresa remembered how hurt Ethan had been at discovering the truth about the Cranes. It had made him question himself in so many ways. It had even made him wonder if he was capable of such atrocities.

Pilar looked squarely at her daughter. "Theresita, this deception is what is keeping Ethan safe now that he knows the truth about Martin...about Luis. Alistair will not turn on his own, but if word were to get out that Ethan is really a Bennett, it would spell disaster for all."

_____

Gwen Hotchkiss opened a large manila envelope, anticipation nearly overwhelming her. She smiled thinking of how its contents held the key to her future.

Pulling out the 8x10 photographs, she was relieved to find out that her efforts were not in vain. Photographed copies of Ethan's birth certificate, a letter from Ivy to Sam Bennett, and other odds and ends that might provide some usefulness were now in her possession.

It was not difficult to let herself into the Lopez-Fitzgerald home and snap photos of the documents from Ivy Crane's attaché case. As the mother of a police officer, Gwen would have thought that Pilar would be more fastidious in terms of home security. On the other hand, thought Gwen, what does Pilar have that anyone would want--except for secret documents, of course.

It had been quite a thrill for her, actually. The most difficult aspect of the whole encounter had been to not boast to her mother about her latest venture. She doubted her mother would have believed her anyway, but now she had the proof she needed. Proof of her escapade, as well as proof of Ethan's paternity.

Yet most deliciously of all, she had exactly what she needed to show Ethan once and for all that Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald was nothing more than a gold-digging tramp. It would be a lesson for all who would strive to reach above their station, but Gwen would glean personal satisfaction from seeing Theresa fall flat on her face.

Gwen picked up a framed photograph of Ethan that she kept on her desk, studying her former fiancé's smiling features.

It'll be hard for him at first, but one must break a few eggs to make an omelet. I guarantee that he'll be thanking me in the long-run. Theresa's lies will have devastated him, and I'll be there to pick up the pieces.

Besides, ignorance is not bliss.

No, this kind of bliss is just ignorant.