Hello everyone, I've been a little busy with some other projects of late. I released my Bratva Arrow piece a few days ago, it took me four days and an all-nighter to get done, plus I've finished a chapter for my novel that should be released sometime next year. So this piece got put to the back burner for a little bit.

Besides that I didn't have anything of quality to work with, even with the Flarrow crossover last week. However I finally managed to come up with some something after reading some other pieces. Plus I'll be putting up a memento featuring the aftermath of 3.09. So without further ado, a new memento!

I do not own these characters…I don't even own my house.

Coward

Oliver Queen has many secrets, some from his days before the island (getting a one-night-stand pregnant), days on the island (all his activities that he still refuses to share, those in Hong Kong (learning how to kill and torture), those in the Bratva (learning to be a criminal), and secrets he has once he came home (being the Arrow). There's one secret though that Oliver Queen has lived with his entire life, the one secret he will dare not share with anyone…ever…it's the fact that Oliver Queen is a coward.

Yes, Oliver Queen the playboy, the killer, the assassin, the Bratva Captain, the Arrow, is a coward, he is afraid to letting anyone into his life. Not because he wants to be a playboy all his life, or because of the life that he lives, it's because he's a afraid, he's afraid of anyone seeing the scared little coward within his strong and damaged exterior. What makes Oliver Queen so cowardly? Dependence, he's afraid of letting someone into his life because he doesn't want to become dependent on that person, and then that person leave. He's afraid of the pain of loss, so he chooses to be alone in the first place.

So over the years Oliver has developed a coping mechanism to make him feel connected to someone, to have all the benefits of a relationship without ever truly being committed to one, he calls it fishing. He'll reel someone in, and then cast them out only to reel them back in again, only to cast them back out again. Before the island he could work up this act on a regular basis with multiple women, because truly, the women didn't care, as long as Oliver Queen has somewhat of their attention than that was fine with them.

Then Laurel Lance came along, and her strength wouldn't stand for Oliver's schemes, she fought through them, refusing to pull back after Oliver would try to cast her away. Oliver was so frightened by Laurel because she could see the cowardice in him, she could practically touch it and because of that she didn't fear him. So Oliver went to drastic measures to try and cast her out, not because he didn't love her, but because he did. He cheated on her all the time with someone else that he was fishing, Laurel wouldn't budge. He would stand her up at dates, Laurel would pull him out of the mansion to make him go. Finally panic started setting in and he went for the most drastic thing he could think of, he slept with her younger sister. The problem was that Sara never let it known that it was happening, so it just became an affair, so Oliver decided to take her on the Queen's Gambit, and we all know what happened after that. In conclusion, there would be no Arrow or Canary if it wasn't for Oliver's cowardice.

When he returned he promised himself that he was stronger, that he could handle his insecurities, but once he saw Laurel it happened again. So on the night of his return party he pushed her away, and then a few days later he pulled her back, then finally good news! Tommy loved her and finally he could push Laurel toward Tommy, and it worked, until he needed her back. Then he slept with her, and then Tommy found out. Again we all know what happened from there. So perhaps Laurel and Tommy would be married, and Oliver would still have his best friend if he wasn't such a coward.

Felicity Smoak was just supposed to be an I.T. specialist helping him catch Deadshot. But Felicity became more, she became a breath of fresh air, Laurel was always so demanding, Felicity was so light. Her personality attracted him so much that he invited her to become a part of his team. Then he started to realize it the moment when he told her that she could always talk about her day to him, that she was getting to him, she was getting inside. So Felicity Smoak became his next victim. He would place gentle touches on her and then sleep with Laurel. Instead of coming to Felicity for guidance after half The Glades were leveled he ran away from her without telling her where he was going. He made her his EA not because he minded going down the eighteen floors, it was only an elevator ride away, but because he didn't want anyone seeing him going eighteen floors to see her, then people would know his dependence on her. He brought her to Russia because he trusted her, then slept with Isabel. He put three arrows in The Count's chest, told her there was no other choice to make, then proceeded to run to Sara when Felicity told her the news about Thea.

Even after all that, much like Laurel, Felicity remained steadfast, by his side, ready to help him, and it did nothing but scare the shit out of him. Until finally six months later Diggle convinced him to fight his fears and he asked her on a date, and she nearly got killed. All the fears returned, the fear of that dependence on someone, and for them to be gone. So he put up his walls and started casting her away, he would get tense around her, he would barely speak to her, until Felicity went to Central City to see Barry, he thought he would be glad, but he wasn't, he buried himself on finding Malcom Merlyn to distract him. He realized shortly afterwards that his cowardice was fading, Felicity patiently broke down those walls, and for once he was jealous of someone else having Felicity. Barry Allen, Ray Palmer, they were taking the woman that he finally could commit to. He had to share his feelings, he went to her office, and there it was, Felicity pulling an Oliver Queen, pushing him away this time, and oh did it hurt. He drove back and at first unleashed his rage on some bottles. Then he realized all the pain he caused, all the suffering he caused others due to his cowardice. Then he noticed that he began destroying everything, because it all wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for his cowardice. He would be happy, with someone like Felicity or Laurel, his mother would still be alive, he wouldn't be carrying all this pain, if he wasn't…such…a coward.

After he finally calmed down he surveys the damage, he'll clean it up tomorrow, like a cleansing treatment, no longer would he be afraid, he's ruined too many lives including his own, it was now time to become stronger, become better, become more than just a coward.