A/N

Okay..for some reason Edward feels the need to share his revelations with Bella while she is trapped in a car beside him on the way to Tahoe. How will Bella respond?

Thanks again for all the incredible support and response to this story. I know that I am terribly behind on responding to reviews but one of these days it will happen I promise. You all blow me away with the amazing things you say and insight that you have.

One small sidenote…Bella WILL NOT date Jacob in future chapters. He is the first one who broke her heart so he is already done with.

I do not own these characters.

BPOV

These past few weeks had been incredible. Eric was a very sweet guy who did not question that I wanted to take things very slow. I did not feel the need to tell him about the past. I had shared that information with Edward and it had backfired on me. At some point I would just scare people away when I told them I had been hurt badly in the past. We had been on four dates and I really liked him. I was almost scared to admit it. We had even gone on a date with Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper and it hadn't been awkward at all. On the third date he finally kissed me and it was nice. There were no fireworks, no butterflies in the stomach but it had been enjoyable. I looked forward to our dates and hoped that at some point the sparks would fly but for now it was comfortable and that was not a bad thing.

When the trip to Tahoe came up I wasn't nearly as apprehensive as I had been the first time around. Edward and I had found a way to work together and have it not be strained. He kept his distance but we were friendly. I actually found myself looking forward to it a bit. It would be nice to actually just talk to him, we always used to have a great time just sitting around and talking. When I got into the car though the first thing I noticed was how nervous he was. I thought we were past all of that so I just asked him what he had been up to. It seemed like a fairly innocent question. His hands gripped the wheel tighter and his face was pained as he looked at me.

"There is something I need to tell you Bella," I was confused but nodded. "I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past few weeks and I need to share some things with you."

"Edward, really you don't need to tell me any of this. Those appointments are very personal and I have no right knowing what is going on in them," I didn't want him to share any of this. We were colleagues and only colleagues. You didn't tell your coworker about your psych appointment.

"No, I've been going so that I could talk about you," my mouth dropped open in shock. Talk about me? Why in the world would he need to talk about me?

"Why?" It was the only word I could manage to get out.

"Bella, I never gave you an answer as to why I did the things I did. I needed someone to talk to so that I could give you the answer that you deserved." Words still escaped me so I just nodded. I decided that I should never take another car trip with Edward again.

"Do you mind if we talk about this right now?" Was there really a choice? He was obviously determined to talk about it and I suppose that sooner was better than later.

"Sure, go ahead." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and took a deep breath and then began to talk.

His words filled the car. His voice was monotone as if he was trying his hardest to just get through this. He told me everything that he had discovered after speaking to Dr. Andrews and I just listened. I didn't know what to say. I almost thought that having no answer was better than this one.

He finished speaking and then just waited for me to say something. What could I say though?

"So you were scared? Scared about what would happen if I found someone else so in order to save yourself from heartbreak you decided to find someone else first? Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong here," he sighed.

"I didn't want to get hurt so I hurt you instead. It was stupid but it made sense at the time," he was finally being brutally honest with me. Giving me the answers that I had thought I had always wanted.

"And it doesn't make sense now?" I didn't even know why I was still talking but I had no avenue of escape. I was forced to sit here and listen to him and I couldn't help but think he had somehow planned it that way. I didn't want to be angry of the past anymore but I didn't see any way around it right now.

"No, I gave up everything I wanted and gained nothing," oh, poor little Edward. Not getting what he wanted.

"How do you think I felt Edward? I get that you are bummed out that your future turned out differently then you intended but you ruined mine too. Don't you think that I had made plans that involved you? You said you were scared that you were going to get hurt and yet you called me to tell me that we should see other people. That hurt Edward, it killed me to hear that you didn't want me anymore but I was stupid and I stuck around because to me you were worth it. If you had to discover what you wanted while you were gone I was willing to wait because all I had ever wanted was you."

He just sat there and listened. He didn't say a word and I continued.

"I'm happy for your self-discovery Edward and I hope that it helps you in the future but what do you expect from me? What do you want? Do you think that you can tell me you've figured out the answer and I'll run back to you? I wasn't good enough for you before, why would I be now? I would always be sitting there, waiting for the moment when you would realize that you didn't want me anymore and I am better than that Edward. I may not have believed that in the past but now I do."

My voice had risen steadily in the car and I was basically screaming at him at this point but I didn't care anymore. He had no right to keep bringing this up over and over again. I was trying to move on.

"Listen Edward, thank you for letting me know that you figured out what happened all those years. I'm glad that you got some answers for yourself but for me the answer will always be the same. I was not enough to hold you, sure there may be other factors behind that but that is what it boils down to."

"Bella, please…" I was on a roll and he wasn't about to interrupt me.

"No Edward, I am talking. You have learned some things these past few weeks but guess what, I have too. No longer will I settle for just being good enough for someone. If someone wants me than I damn well better be their everything and I will not accept anything less because when I fall in love I give 110% of myself and if someone can't do that then they had better just walk away now. Being scared is not a good enough excuse."

He looked ashamed and stared ahead as we drove. I almost regretted what I had said but it was the truth. There was one last question that I need an answer to, one last thing that I wanted to know and then I didn't want to talk about this subject anymore.

"What do you want Edward? What are you hoping the end result of all of this is? When you have your answers and you understand…then what?"

EPOV

Then what? I wanted her, for eternity. I would never be stupid enough to give her up twice but why would she believe that?

"Bella," I hesitated. Did she really want to know this? What would I solve by letting her know what I really wanted? We were at a point where we could be civil with each other and I wasn't sure that I was willing to give that up.

It was all or nothing time.

"I want you Bella," she look shocked. "You have to know that I want you back and I will do whatever it takes to get you back."

"Why," it was barely a whisper.

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I was stupid and ruined everything. I have never stopped loving you though. I want the chance to show you that you are my everything. I'm not scared of being hurt anymore. The only thing that I am scared of is losing you. Of never getting the chance to show you what you mean to me.

"I'm not yours to lose anymore Edward. You want me so badly because you can't have me but what happens when the thrill of the chase is gone and you actually have me? What do you do with me?"

"I love you, for every second of every day I show you that I love you, that I cherish you, that you are my life."

She laughed at me. "Edward you don't even know me anymore. You love the girl I was five years ago. The girl who thought you were Prince Charming. She doesn't exist anymore. You can't say you love me, that I'm your everything without knowing me." She let out a deep sigh. "Listen Edward, despite what happened in the past I don't want to hurt you. Lord knows it would be well deserved but I can't do it. You want to be friends, I'm willing to try but please don't delude yourself into ever thinking that it could be more than that. Please don't waste your time waiting for me, thinking that you have a chance. I can try to be your friend but I'm not willing to try any more than that."

My chest felt tight as I tried to breath. She was willing to try to be my friend and I would have to accept that because having her in my life in whatever aspect she could manage was fulfilling enough at the moment.

"I understand Bella, thank you for being willing to do that much." I turned up the music and the rest of the drive was made in relative silence. I could feel her staring at me occasionally but I stared straight ahead and concentrated on the road before me.

I had been stupid to expect that she would ever want more from me again. From here on out I would be her friend. It would be easier than not having her in my life at all. We arrived out our hotel and checked in, to separate rooms this time, and then headed to our meeting. Once again our work together was comfortable. At the end of the meeting the associates in this office invited us out to dinner and we agreed. It wasn't hard to notice the way they looked at her. She was a beautiful woman and she attracted attention even if she was oblivious to it.

Dinner was enjoyable and she drove back to our hotel afterwards. I walked her to her room and after she put her key in the slot she turned to look at me.

"Are you okay Edward?" I tried my best to smile for her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she looked at me carefully and seemed to be debating about whether or not to say something else when her phone rang. She took it out of her purse and I could see the name 'Eric'. She hesitated for a second.

"It's okay. I'm tired and want to get back to my room. Goodnight Bella," I walked away and didn't look back. I could hear her answer the phone. She sounded so excited when she said his name. I remembered when she used to talk to me like that on the phone and could only hope the he realized how lucky he was.

Okay…I am already writing the next chapter so it shouldn't take as long to update. It will be skipping ahead a few months so you have been warned. Thanks again for reading this and hope you enjoyed