A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of Primordial Space Ooze: Alternate Ending! Yep, that's right, final. Yep, that's right, ten chapters.
...sorry.
The reason it ends so early is because:
A): Irk Du Freak needs a lot more attention
B): The entire sequel will consist of Zim, Dib, and Tesla cramped into the Voot together, and the sequel to THAT will be their time on Irk
C): I totally ran out of ideas
Anyways, if you notice anywhere where I say like, "says" instead of "said" or something, please ignore that. I noticed I did that a few times because of how Irk Du Freak is written.
"Hey! Gaz! Dad! Anybody home? Hellooooooo!"
There wasn't an answer, but Dib could hear the beeps and bloops from Game Slave 2 in the living room.
"Gaz!" he cried, shutting the door as quietly as he could behind him. Sudden noises sent his sister into a rampage on some days.
Most days, actually.
Okay, all days.
Gaz didn't even look up at him as he walked into the room, but he knew she was listening.
"Gaz, I'm leaving. For, uh, I dunno, a few... months? Years? Ugh, I should've written a speech or something..."
She opened one eye and glared at him without looking away from her game. It was an unsettling talent of hers.
"Can't you see I'm almost finished with this boss?" she growled. If he was too persistent, it would turn into a snarl. "I finally figured out the cheat code."
"Fine, if you don't care about your own brother launching himself into space with a psychopathic alien creature, see if I care," he snorted, tossing his head up and stepping into the hall.
After a few seconds of silence, save for the GS-2 sound effects, he poked his head back in.
"Are you wallowing in sadness yet?"
Gaz finally looked up at him. "I'm always wallowing in sadness."
That was his cue to leave her alone.
"Dad!" he called, trying not to capture too much of his sister's attention. "Dad!"
"I'm in the lab, son!" came the muffled response.
After stepping out of the elevator, he was met with the sight of his tall father poking a half-pig half-chicken creature with a pencil. It screeched, creating a sensation similar to getting your ears torn off and chopped into a million little pieces with a chef's knife.
"Fascinating..." he muttered to himself.
"I'm going to space!" Dib blurted all of a sudden.
"Space, you say?" He turns. "Ah, an astronaut! Almost as admirable as being a scientist!"
"No, dad. I'm going to space right now. With an alien, no, TWO aliens. For at least a year."
"Yes, yes, have fun, son. Just be sure to include your sister in that imaginative game of yours. So glad you've decided to pursue something worthwhile."
He stuck his finger into the air, as per usual, and called out, "NOW! Back to SCIENCE!"
The chicken-human thing squawked defiantly as he returned to his work. Dib took this as a sign that his efforts were futile and walked out the door.
"WHAT GAVE YOU THE IDEA TO INVITE THE DIB-HYOOMAN ALONG?!" Zim howled, shaking violently. "HE'S OUR MORTAL ENEMY!"
Tesla had been trying desperately to calm him down ever since he'd snapped out of his daze, attempting everything from talking things through to forcefully pinning him to the pilot's chair.
"Dad, he's YOUR mortal enemy," she corrected. "Think of this trip as a way to put your differences to rest-"
"OUR DIFFERENCES CAN GO TO REST WHEN THIS FILTHY PLANET IS NOTHING BUT A PILE OF DUST IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE!"
"Okay, I- you know what? Let's call the Tallest. That always seems to calm you down, right?"
Zim's antennae perked. "Ah, yes, my Tallest. I forgot to notify them about our journey to Irk. They'll be so excited!"
He happily pushed a few buttons in a state of child-like bliss, as if he hadn't been going ballistic three seconds earlier.
"My Tallest!" he chirped at Red and Purple's sarcastic faces on the monitor. "I apologize for not calling in earlier, I had to take care of some stuff."
They looked over at each other for a moment, then back at Zim. "What do you want?" Red yawned. "I have a pressing issue to attend to involving ten pounds of donuts and my mouth."
"Oh, of course, Tesla and I-"
"WHOA, THAT'S TESLA?!" Purple screamed, startling his co-Tallest. "She's huge!"
Tesla fiddled with her antennae. It felt like some suppressed instinct was forcing her to acknowledge their authority, but she was really bad at it.
"Erm, yes, my-uh, Tallest."
Red cocked an antennae, Purple holding in a laugh next to him. They were, of course, used to the salute and antennae wiggle from their underlings.
"Aww, you're so grown up!" the latter half-giggled. "Last time I saw you, I could hold you in one hand!"
"Ahem," Zim coughed.
"You were so cute!"
"My Tallest?"
"I mean, you're STILL cute, of course, but like, you know-"
"MY TALLEST!" he finally screamed. "I have news for you, remember?"
Red shoved Purple out of the way. "Yes, yes, get on with it, Zim. Donuts. Mouth. Come on."
"I have decided to fly Tesla to Irk myself."
Purple promptly fainted, leaving the slack-jawed Red to sputter, "W-what?"
"Yes, my Tallest. I understand it may be a challenge to contain your excitement."
A few employees ran over to Purple and began frantically splashing him with some sort of cold liquid. After a moment, he shot up.
"YOU'RE COMING TO IRK?!"
Zim chuckled to himself.
"Yes, sirs. Now, I have a trip to complete. I will see you in person within six months," he grinned, then shut off the transmission. The Tallest's horrified expressions faded into the management screen.
Back at Tallest Tower, Red and Purple were still staring at the blank monitor, frozen in place. A communications officer tugged at Red's robes. He looked down, only half-awake from his trance.
"Uh, sirs? You've been staring at the communication screen for an hour now."
He blinked, still light years away, and shook Purple's shoulder. There wasn't much of a reaction, only a simple turn of the head.
"Zim's coming to Irk..." he whispered, staring off into nothingness.
A harder shake still left him totally and completely unfazed.
"Zim's coming to Irk..."
Red put both hands on his shoulders and rattled him around hysterically with as much vigor as he could muster.
"Talk to me, Pur," he begged.
"Zim's coming to Irk..."
"PURPLE!"
"Now that that's over with," Zim sniffed. "Where on Irk is the Dib-monster?"
As if one cue, Dib turned the corner with a balance-retarding duffel bag tucked under one arm. "Hey! I'm here! Don't leave!"
"You think we would leave without you?" Tesla called back to him.
"Yes!"
Zim lowered the cruiser, just enough to allow him the ability to toss his bag and haul himself up (thanks to Tesla's helping hand), growling from his throat. Apparently he was still unwilling to let the "hyooman" anywhere near his tech.
The takeoff was made in total awkward silence, aside from Zim's quiet clicks that seemed to mean something in Irken. Dib didn't know what, obviously.
He was squashed into the back "seat" (really just an uncomfortable puzzle piece position next to the stacks of supply boxes), Tesla only an arm's reach away. If he was feeling really brave, he could've reached out and played with both of her antennae at the same time. For investigation purposes, you know?
But he wasn't feeling brave, of course.
"So how long is the trip?" he asked instead.
"Six months," Zim replied simply.
His reaction consisted of jumping suddenly, elbowing over a stack of boxes, and ending up in a heap on the floor. "WHAT?!"
Tesla stared at him. "Did you think we can just, like, shift into warp speed or something?"
"Well, yeah!"
Zim half-scoffed half-laughed at him and pulled a lever on the console, apparently switching to autopilot. "Hyoomans and their silly beliefs about space travel."
He bristled and opened his mouth to argue, but Tesla sent him a look that said, "You're making it worse."
"Look, if you guys fight all the way there, I'll actually go insane."
Zim glared at Dib, and Dib glared at Zim, but neither said a thing.
"Now," she continued. "I want you two to shake on it. No more fighting, at least on the way to Irk, okay? You can duke it out all you want when I go to the Academy."
Dib stuck out a hand after a moment, but his Irken counterpart just crossed his arms and tilted his head up, an all-too-familiar maneuver of his.
"I refuse to do such a thing," he snarled, as if shaking hands with your enemy was suddenly a heinous crime.
"Look-"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
A pair of luminescent blue eyes popped in out of nowhere, eventually forming into arms and legs and a little antennae. Tesla fell out of her chair, making a sort of squeak-chirp noise.
"GIR!" Zim hollered, grabbing his wriggling little robot servant angrily. "What are you doing here?!"
GIR smiled insanely and squealed, "You found me! Now you're it!"
Tesla face-palmed. As much as she loved GIR, six months in a 5 and a half-foot cruiser with him would be an absolute nightmare.
"Hey! Big-head! I didn't know you were playing too!"
She sighed, already exhausted.
They eventually figured out how to mellow GIR out, which happened to be giving him something to chew on. In this case, it was an old stuffed Vortian toy from when she was younger.
It gave her a weird feeling of Dejá Vu to see it, but she couldn't put her finger on when she had had it. Her mind even wandered enough to wish she had been articulated enough as a smeet to keep a diary.
A diary. Hey, that's not a half-bad idea...
Day 1
Okay, I know there aren't really "days" in space, but I'm going off Earthen time to keep myself sane.
Speaking of keeping myself sane, I'll write one of these as quick notes to myself every time something interesting happens.
I don't know what the future holds, but one thing's for sure: this is going to be a loooooooooong six months.
Yours truly,
Soon-to-be trainee Tesla
A/N: Aaaaaaaand, done.
Okay, I get it. This chapter was short. I was pressed for time, okay?
Tesla will indeed write a journal entry at the end of every chapter, where she puts down thoughts from her head down onto a piece of Earth paper.
If you get bored waiting for the sequel, PLEASE for the love of The Tallest check out Irk Du Freak. I have two votes. TWO VOTES! I really need some people to get on over there so I don't disappoint the people that DO read it.