2 weeks since last update? Deplorable, I know. I suck, no excuses. I won't waste your time with them. Here's you go.

Not mine, Smeyer owns all.

BPOV

"Hey, Bells, have lunch with me."

I glance up at Emmett. His grin tells me I should be suspicious of him, but I sigh and nod anyway. I've got to eat, might as well have a little company while I do it.

After saving the file I was working on, I grab my purse and follow Emmett to the elevator.

"So . . ." he starts, letting it trail off. He's obviously wanting something from me. What, I have no idea.

"What Emmett? What can I do for you today?" I ask him as we step into the elevator. He presses the button for the 3rd floor, the cafeteria.

"Alright, so don't get mad, okay?"

I groan and close my eyes. "Em, nothing good, in the history of all things ever said, has ever followed those words."

He laughs, but then turns serious. "Okay, well, here's the thing. You've heard me talk about my mom a lot, right? How she's been hoping I'd settle down for a long time?" I nod for him to continue as we exit the elevator. "So my girl and I broke up." He rolls his eyes at my raised eyebrow. "Don't ask. Anyway, we've got this big family dinner coming up soon and I'm going to go visit her and when I agreed to go, I was dating someone, but now I'm not and last night on the phone, Mom was asking me about my date, and I panicked and said I was definitely still bringing someone. I just know she was waiting for me to tell her I was single again!"

I realize what he's getting at. "No. Absolutely not, Emmett. I will not be your pretend girlfriend."

"Bella, please? Please, please, please?"

I make the mistake of looking up at him. God, those stupid puppy dog eyes! I can feel my resolve crumble a little, but I grasp at the broken pieces. "Em, you know I can't. I just can't. I would but the last thing you need is some chick freaking out at your parents house with all your family around. Besides, I'm not feisty or pretty enough to convince them."

He scoffs. "Oh shut it, Bells. You know you're gorgeous."

"And besides," I continue, ignoring his comment, "I'm sure your mom knows you have a thing for supermodel looking blonds, not plain, run-of-the-mill brunettes." Mentioning model-like blonds reminds me of someone, though. "Hey, actually, I might know someone you could take."

"I don't know Bells." He leads me through the cafeteria, plucking item after item and loading it into a tray. I grab a pre-made salad and a Coke, shaking my head at his tray of food. "I mean, I don't know if I need a real date, you know? I don't think there's a woman out there that can handle me." He pays for my food before I can stop him and ignores my glare. "I'm a lot of man, Bella. With a lot of personality. I'm too . . . abrasive? I don't know. Every girl who I've dated said I have no filter from my brain to my mouth and they're right. I just say whatever. I figure if they like me, they can take it, right? Wrong. Chicks don't like that."

I let him lead us to a table far from everyone else and we sit down. "Well, I can at least talk to her maybe. She's a nice girl, but she's been only dating assholes it seems. I'll admit, I don't know her that well, but from what I do know, she might be able to handle you." Then I add, "Plus, she's absolutely gorgeous. Tall, blond, perfect body. You know I don't go for women, but if I had the slightest inkling of lesbianism in me, I'd be drenched every time I saw her." I smugly watch the rush of emotions over Emmett's face.

First, his jaw drops. Then he stammers for a moment. Next, his mouth opens and closes without any sound coming out. All the while, his eyes blaze at me like he might want to devour me and this woman he's never seen, along with his food.

Finally, he shifts in his seat, obviously adjusting himself and I giggle. "Christ Bells, warn a guy before you go saying something so damn sexy." He pretends to think about his decision for a minute, while shoving french fries in his mouth and chewing loudly, to spite me. He knows that annoys me. And I know he's already made up his mind. "Fine, I would love to take out this super hot chick you want you jump, whether you'll admit it or not."

I smile. I don't know why, but I have a feeling he'll be perfect for Rose and vice versa. "I'll try and talk to her tonight. When do you need to know by?"

"Next weekend."

"I'll let you know."

We eat in silence for awhile. Emmett and Rose. I can see it. Two very attractive people. From what I know about Rose, she can probably handle a guy like Emmett. He's a good guy, too. Maybe this'll keep her from jumping around from guy to guy. And maybe he'll quit asking me to go do things with him after work. Or, he'll want to hang out more. God, I hope he doesn't think because I know her, it's an invitation to try and get us out to dinner together.

"Hey Em. You know that just because I know Rose, if things really work out between you two, I don't plan on going out with you, right? I mean, I'm still going to be my normal stay-at-home self."

"Or," he says, grinning, "we can double! Me and Rose, you and Ed! It'll be perfect."

Rolling my eyes at him, I shake my head. "First of all, we're not dating. Second of all, no. I'm not going to double date with you. You draw attention. Even when you don't mean to, you're always the center of attention. I can't possibly be expected to go out in public with you, to a restaurant, and have everyone in there staring at us. I would freak out and you know it."

"Bells, you know I won't force you to go out. I wish you would though." I start to remind him I'm a freak about being in public and he stops me. "I know, I know." He looks thoughtful for a moment, and then his grin in back in place. "I'm proud of you, though, you know?"

What is he talking about now? "Proud of me for what?"

"You know, for making a friend and stuff. I was a little miffed when you said you had a secret friend, but I'm glad you made a friend anyway. And if you say he's a good guy, I'll trust your judgment. You don't like anyone but me, so I know you have good taste," he says with a wink.

I can't help but smile at him. He may be egotistical, but he's got such a good heart. "Thanks Em. I'm pretty proud of me, too, actually. I really thought I'd never be able to have any kind of relationship for the longest time, even friendship." I reach out and snatch a fry off his tray, earning a glare. "Can I tell you something without you freaking out?"

"I can absolutely not promise that. Tell me anyway."

I should tell him. I mean, if I somehow ever get the guts to tell Edward that I like him, and he's smart enough to tell me to fuck off, I'm going to need someone to console me. I know this. And Emmett is perfect for that. He's a giant freaking teddy bear. With a heart of gold. Who would beat the shit out of anyone I wanted him to.

I lean in a little. "I like Edward."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, I know. You eat with him every night. And you hang out with him. And you kept him a secret from me. He seemed like an okay guy."

Okay, I don't think he gets it. "No, I mean . . . I like him."

I watch as my meaning dawns on him. "Oh. Oh! You LIKE him!" Then his expression becomes suspiciously blank. "Have you told him?"

"God no. Look, I'm not stupid. I know he'd never want a relationship with me. It's nice being his friend. I don't want to ruin that."

His expression relaxes a little. "You are stupid. Any guy would be lucky to be in a relationship with you. I don't know though. I mean, I don't know the guy. He could be a total creep. I don't want you to go out with him."

Okay, what? A second ago, he was telling me that Edward was an okay guy. "What the hell, Em? One minute, he sounds like an okay guy and the next, he's a creep? Just because I might want to date him?"

He leans over towards me. "That's not . . . exactly what I meant. Look," he says with a sigh, "I just want what's best for you." He leans in closer and starts talking in barely above a whisper. "Bella, you were kidnapped and abused by someone who could have been the most normal person ever. It could have been someone you'd known your whole life. Luckily, it wasn't. But still. You don't know who you can trust. How much do you really know about this guy? Who's to say he doesn't have a history of abusing women? Maybe he's some child molester. You don't know him."

"And how do I know you're not a child molester?" I ask him, a little too loudly apparently. The tables near us stop talking and turn to stare at Emmett. I manage a laugh that sounds pathetically fake even to me and a smile at them as they slowly return to their conversations. "I'm sorry Emmett, but I don't get what the big deal is anyway. He's a nice guy who has become a good friend and it's never going to be more than that. So stop freaking out."

I stand up and grab my half-finished lunch. "If you're so worried, maybe you should spend some time getting to know him. I'm not going to stop hanging out with him unless he wants me to. I need him, Emmett. Without him, I don't have anyone but you. And you know I love you like a brother, but that's just not enough for me." I walk away then, dumping my lunch in a trash can and quickly making my way to the elevators. I can feel the tears burning in my eyes, threatening to fall over as I press the button to return to my floor.

Why did he have to say those things? It's true that I don't know everything there is to know about Edward, but I know a lot. I've had a couple years to get to know him. I trust him. And he's my friend. I thought Emmett could understand that.

I had no idea he wouldn't approve of me wanting to date Edward. I mean, he's the one always telling me I need to get to know more people, do more things outside the apartment, get back into the real world. Well, in the real world, people date. It would be one of the more normal things I'd done in years if I were to actually go on a date. I mean, I'm twenty-one years old. I shouldn't already be an old-maid, right?

I feel him behind me before he says anything and I reach out and press the button for the elevator again, willing it to hurry up. I don't want him to see me cry over a stupid argument.

"Bells, I'm really sorry," he says quietly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know, Emmett. Just drop it, okay?" I continue to stare straight ahead at the dull metal doors in front of me.

He steps around my side but I refuse to look at him. "I just worry, you know? I never had a little sister and I really see you as one and it makes me hurt to know what happened to you. I don't ever want anything like that to happen again." He bends down a little so he's level with me. "I love you, you know? I don't want anything to ever hurt you."

That pushes me over the edge and I can't stop the tears from falling, so instead I close my eyes. "I know, Em. I know. I just want to be normal. I can't spend my whole life alone," I say through my quiet sobs. Emmett knows better than to try and hold me, so he places a gentle hand on my arm. "I just want to be normal," I say again. My best friend and would-be brother can't even comfort me properly. I'm such a freak.

As the elevators open, he ushers me inside and we silently make our way back to our floor. When the doors open again, we both step out and he stops me from going to my cubicle.

"Bells, I'm going to talk to Esme. I think we should get out of here and talk some more."

I shake my head. "No, that's okay. I'd rather stay and work. I'm not mad at you Emmett. I'm mad at the whole situation." I give him a small smile. "I'm sorry for calling you a child molester in front of everyone. And sorry for crying."

"Hey, if calling me a child molester is what it takes to get you happy, I'll take out a bus ad." I actually laugh at that. Okay, he's funny, and I can tell he's sorry. "Okay, though. And, I don't know if you were serious about me getting to know Ed, but I'd like to. If you say he's a good guy, I believe you, but I'd feel better checking him out myself."

I nod. I can understand that. He's going to be over protective no matter what. "I'll talk to him and see if he wouldn't mind. Maybe you can join us for dinner one night. Oh, and if you're going to talk to him, call him Edward, not Ed. He hates that."

He smirks a little. That ass is going to make sure he always calls him Ed. "I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, get back to work, slacker." He walks off, muttering loudly, "Keeping me from doing my work, talking about boys."

I chuckle as I make my way back to my cubicle. Dinner with Edward and Emmett. This could be disastrous. Maybe Edward will refuse.

*****

BPOV

I open the oven door and the smell of rosemary washes over me. The rosemary and garlic roast chicken is almost done, the potatoes are mashed, and the asparagus is being blanched. Edward is leaned against the counter asking me questions about Emmett and sipping a beer nervously.

"But why does he want to hang out with me?" he asks.

Because I told him I want to date you. "Because he wants to know who I'm spending all my time with." I remove the asparagus from the water and dunk it into and ice bath, then set it aside to drain for a moment.

"He's going to kill me, Bella. You can't leave me alone with him." He sounds serious, so I glance over at him. He looks terrified.

I can't help but laugh. "Why would he kill you?"

"Because he's big and he can. And he knows that I . . . I don't know." He stops himself from saying something.

"He knows you what?"

Silence fills the room as I drizzle a little olive oil over the asparagus and toss it to coat.

I turn to look at him. "He knows you what, Edward?"

He sighs and looks down. He mumbles something so quietly I can't hear him.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Please, let's just drop it."

I eye him for a minute, then shrug. Whatever it is, he doesn't want to tell me. I can live with that. I'm keeping secrets from him, after all.

"Fine. But I really want you two to hang out a little. I'll be here, too. He's just worried about me, you know? He wants to makes sure you're not a molester or something," I say with a laugh.

He laughs nervously again. "Well, if it's what you want, then I can't say no. Just promise me you'll stay the whole time. I don't want to give him the chance to kill me if he decides I'm not good enough to be your friend."

I shake my head at him. He's being completely ridiculous. "It'll be fine. Now gather plates and such, the chicken just needs to rest a few minutes," I say as I pull it from the oven.

I watch him move comfortably around my kitchen. When he catches me watching him, he flashes me his signature crooked grin and I melt a little inside. Emmett must be insane if he thinks Edward is anything but a gentleman and a great guy. He just has to get to know him a little. Even if Edward is worried, it'll be fine. Emmett knows I'd never forgive him for ruining my friendship with him. He won't risk it.

"You really shouldn't be worried about hanging out with Emmett. I know he comes off as a little menacing, but he's not, really. He's a teddy bear."

He sighs. "I just worry since he's one of your good friends and-"

"My only other friend," I interject with a wry smile.

"Well, yeah, exactly. I don't want to piss off the only other person you like. It might make things awkward and I don't want to do that to you. I don't want to do anything that's going to hurt you in any way."

I smile warmly at him then. Stepping forward and placing my hand on his forearm, I give him a gentle squeeze. "That's exactly what Emmett wants. Don't worry. I know he'll see you're a good guy." I turn away from him and grab a knife from the counter. "Now, would you mind slicing the chicken? I'll plate up the rest."

*****

EPOV

Dinner with Bella and Emmett. It's going to be interesting. I hope she's right. I don't want to piss him off. While I am worried about bodily harm being inflicted upon myself, I really just don't want her to be upset if we don't get along. I hope it'll be just like this, but with one more person.

I glance away from the movie I've not paid an ounce of attention to, back over to Bella, watching her scoop a forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth and I can't help but smile. I'm so glad she's not one of those girls who won't eat anything other than lettuce when people are around. I'm glad she's comfortable around me.

It's going to be so hard to get through dinner with both of them. Bella may not notice or think anything about me constantly watching her, but I know Emmett will take note. And I think he's already got a good idea that I like her. If he doesn't, he will after spending ten minutes with me and her in the same room. I'm going to have to attempt to reign in my ogling.

Maybe this could be a good thing, though. I mean, I've been wanting to tell her how I feel. Emmett probably knows her pretty well. Maybe I can find a way to let him know that I have no intention of doing anything to ever hurt her. That I love her. Want to be with her forever. If he knows what Bella went through, he can maybe give me some pointers of things to avoid doing while I'm with her. The last thing I want to do is freak her out by doing something stupid.

"Edward?"

God I love when she says my name. "Yes, Bella?"

She turns to me and raises an eyebrow. "You've been staring at me for five minutes. Is there something I can do for you?" She giggles and I blush. I swear, I don't think I'd ever blushed until I met her.

I glance back down at my empty plate. "Sorry. No. I was just zoned out, thinking."

Plaing her empty plate on the coffee table, she leans back and then pats the couch beside her, wanting me to join her. I waste no time in doing so. "What are you thinking about so hard?" she asks, taking my hand in hers.

I smile at that. It's become such a comfortable gesture between us, it's almost like she doesn't notice. I twine my fingers between hers and run my thumb over her knuckles, tracing patterns.

"Nothing important. Thinking about hanging out with Emmett," I say. Mostly true.

"It really will be okay." She laughs and says, "Don't worry, I'll protect you if he decides to beat you up."

I feign a hurt expression. "You think I couldn't hold my own against him? Gee, thanks Bella. And letting a girl fight my battles is a sure way to win his respect."

"Hey! I may be a girl, but I can still kick ass." She jokingly punches my knee with her free hand and I pretend to recoil in pain.

"Easy tiger! Fine! I'll let you fight my battles for me."

We laugh again for a moment and then settle down and resume watching the movie. I don't know about her, but I have no idea what this movie is about. Oh well. I can focus completely on the feel of beautiful Bella's hand clasped in mine. Which is slowly tightening around mine. Okay, definitely tightening. Is she trying to crush my fingers?

I glance over and her brow is furrowed and she's gnawing viciously at her lower lip. All the while clutching my hand in a death grip.

"Bella?"

"I want to tell you so many things Edward. I'm so afraid you're going to run away when I do, though." She never looks away from the TV as she says this.

Like running away is even an option. I'd sooner die than leave her. "I've told you, I'm not going to leave. I love being here, and spending time with you. You can tell me anything and it won't change how I see you." Because I love you more than life itself and nothing will ever change that.

"I'm still working on tell my therapist what happened to me when I was kidnapped," she says after a moment. "He thinks that telling him a little at a time is the best way to go so that I don't bring up too many painful memories at one time." She closes her eyes for a second and then opens them, looking over to me. There are tears in her eyes. "But the memories are all there. Every single one. They come to me unbidden. I've started having the dreams again and I know its because I've been talking about it."

A single tear breaks past her lashes and trails down her face, making my heart thud painfully in my chest.

"But it does seem to be helping. Every time I tell him more, I feel better, lighter. And it's not as scary as it once was." She nods to herself and chews her lips again. Then she says, "I feel like he understands me more as he finds out what happened and I want that with you, too. I want you to understand why I am like I am, to know why I act like I do." She squeezes my hand even tighter. "To understand why I'm afraid to have people touch me."

God, this poor girl has been hurt so bad and she feels like no one gets her. I'll do anything to understand you Bella. "You can tell me anything at all. I'll listen to it all. Like I've said, I can't offer any help or advice but I'll listen to every single word you have to say. You can come to me any time, day or night."

She nods again. Looking down, she says quietly, "I want to tell you what I've told him so far. Is that okay? I want to tell you what he knows and then when I have my sessions, I want to tell you a little more. Can we do that?"

"Of course Bella!" I duck my head down so I can look her in the eyes. "I want to know everything about you and I feel honored that you want to tell me."

She smiles then, almost shyly. "I can't think of anyone else I want to know me more than you."

*****

BPOV

I take a deep breath and raise my chin. "I know it's a little late, but can we do it right now? I don't want to lose my resolve on this."

He nods. "Absolutely. We can take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

You can do this Bella. You can tell him. It's now or never. Tell him.

"Okay, well, like I said, it started when I was thirteen, at the mall . . ."

*****

[adding some extra EPOV for making you wait so long]

EPOV

I was so angry, I almost couldn't breathe. Every single muscle in my body was tensed and I was trembling with the need to hit something, to thrash the room, anything to get out my anger at what had been done to this absolutely innocent, beautiful, kind girl. She did not deserve this.

I can't believe he touched her! Locked her away! CUT HER!

When she got to the end of what she was planning on telling me tonight, about how he started cutting her, over and over, playing with her blood, I nearly lost it. When she raised her sweatshirt to reveal her stomach, crisscrossed with scars, some overlapping, some so raised, while she cast her eyes to the side, ashamed of her body, I lost control of my emotions and burst into tears. She fell right along with me and we sobbed together. I was shocked when she threw herself into my arms, her face pressed into my chest.

I held her tightly, crying into her hair while she soaked my shirt through with her tears. We held each other as I whispered over and over how sorry I was that it had happened to her and how I'd never let anything bad happen to her again.

I don't know how long we cried. Long after the tears stopped, we clung to each other. I never wanted to let her go. She was ashamed of what had happened, that much was obvious. To me, she was only that much more beautiful for being able to become the wonderful person she is in spite of all that had happened to her.

I feel Bella shift against me and I'm about to pull back from our embrace when she mutters, "Don't leave me Edward."

"I won't. Don't worry." I'm about to ask her if she needs anything, some water or something, when she shifts again and I can see her face. She's sound asleep. I smile a little. Bella sleep talks. Huh. And she's dreaming about me.

As much as this makes me happy and as much as I'd love to stay in her arms all night, I know I can't. She may be dreaming about me, but she might also freak out if she wakes up to me holding her. I gently slide away from her, laying her out on the couch.

"Lay down, Bella. I'm here. I'm not leaving you, I promise," I say softly. I quickly make my way to her bedroom and grab her blanket and pillows. Back in the living room, I manage to ease a pillow under her head and she hums in appreciation. I lay the other on the floor in front of the couch. Covering her up with half the blanket, I let the other half drape down to my makeshift bed. I kneel by her head and take this opportunity to gently brush the tips of my fingers over her cheek. A smile in her sleep and a mumbled "Edward" is all it takes to fill my heart to near bursting point.

"Goodnight beautiful Bella." I lean in close to her ear and whisper, "I love you."

I settle back on my pillow and cuddle into the blanket hanging down and let myself drift off, wrapped in my Bella's scent.

If you don't hate me for taking so long to update, leave me a pretty review :) Pretty please?