Chapter 10

Calling To Confess

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

When Tamaki opened his eyes he didn't expect to see the Host club around him. He thought they would be upset with him for lying about a lot of things. He had hoped that he could create space, push them away, far enough so they could let him go but still close enough that when he was able to, they could become friends again. That plan didn't work well if they were here, Haruhi looked troubled but Hikaru looked upset. A sharp pain went through his heart when he saw Haruhi's face. He never wanted them to worry, his hand tightened he tried to shake off the thought. He had to stop, that's what got him here.
"Hi...everyone...I'm sorry for everything," his voice cracked and was hoarse. He had never been so sorry and upset before. Haruhi looked away scared to open her mouth, Tamaki looked at Hikaru as he stepped away from Kaoru.
"If you're sorry you shouldn't have done it! We know everything! How could you never tell us you were leaving? Never going to say good-bye. After everything you've done for us and you were just going to leave! It's not fair!"

"I'm sorry Hikaru, it was for the best." He couldn't lock eyes with him, his body ached as he tried to push the thought from his mind, he couldn't do it, not with his promise and not with everyone here.
"How was it for the best, huh? Please enlighten me!"
"Enough Hikaru! Can't you see he is in pain? You're not helping!" Haruhi was on her feet trying to calm him down. "Senpai's heart is racing, if you continue to argue with him you're only going to make him sick again!" He stepped away from her, turned and stormed out of the room. Kaoru followed after him scared he would do something stupid.
"We'll come back when he settles down, I hope we didn't upset you, we do want you to get better, we have all been worried about you, especially Hikaru." Haruhi walked out of the room in hopes to find the twins. Tamaki pulled his hand out from under the sheets, he would do anything to get rid of this feeling, he grabbed his wrist maybe the pain and pressure of his other hand would make it stop.
"Are you okay Tamaki?" he looked up to see Kyoya walking in. "I tried to get Hikaru to wait to see you but of course he couldn't listen."
"He has every right to be mad at me after all I've done."
Kyoya noticed his hands as he sat next to the bed, "Something wrong with your hand, you better not be hiding something."

He shook his head 'no', "I can't get my hand to stop bothering me, why do I feel like I have to take something to my wrist?"

Kyoya separated Tamaki's hands, taking hold of his right hand within his own. "Your body knows that your upset, you need to train your body to find a new way to cope, it's like breaking an addiction."
"I feel odd though, can it affect my mind?" He tightened his grip as much as he could, his arm still had nerve problems, and the doctors were going to try to repair them in a few days. He knew it was for the best but he wanted it to be a reminder of his actions.
"I'm scared Kyoya, what if I'm not strong enough?"
"You won't fight alone Tamaki, you have me, I'm sure the others would help too, we both know they will forgive you,"
Tears welled up in his eyes, fighting them back a few managed to fall down his face. Kyoya took his free hand to wipe them away.
"What about when I'm alone in America, I'll have no one, Kyoya when I leave I'm never allowed to contact anyone here. I'm going to be under strict watch to make sure I follow that rule." Kyoya's eyes widened, he had no idea that they wouldn't be able to talk, but that explained the note * I promise to contact you as soon as I'm able* it wasn't saying when he was settled it meant once his grandmother passed away. Both knew Yuzuru would lift that rule. Neither noticed the others walk back to the room Mitsukuni and Mori had joined them. Kyoya stood and released his hand, he grabbed his shoulders and locked eyes.
"If you go as you are now you will die!" The words came seething out if his mouth, for as upset as he was with Tamaki for agreeing to such terms it was nothing compared to what he felt towards the grandmother.

No one said anything, they only heard a segment of the conversation but it was enough, they knew. Kyoya stepped back as the tears fell faster down Tamaki's face. He looked up to see the others standing in the doorway. He wiped away the new tears.
"Tamaki, it's time they knew everything, the more you hide it the worse you will get. But you already knew that."
Kyoya sat back down, Tamaki looked at his wrist, it's message echoed through him.
"Your right Kyoya," He looked at them to have them come closer, as hard as it was going to be he knew he had to do it. There was no more excuses.

"There is something I should have told you from the beginning, I hope that once you know why I did what I did, you can forgive me."
He stopped, Kyoya grabbed his hand to help give him strength, Haruhi grabbed his left.
"As you know I am to leave for America, Friday March 4th. I am to finish my schooling there so that I may run the new branch of Ouran." He knew they knew this already but if he started from the beginning maybe he would have the courage to say everything.
"Upon my leaving I would have to cut all ties to everyone I know here. I had to end all ties before I left but...I just couldn't do it." He let the tears fall knowing he wouldn't be able to get them to stop. "If I was caught contacting anyone for any reason then my mother would be cut off from funding. My grandmother said she would cut off everything for her if I disobeyed or caused a delay." He tightened the grip on Kyoya as Haruhi tightened hers, Hikaru looked down at the ground feeling guilty for yelling. Kaoru gripped the bed railing to help balance his emotions while Mori kept Mitsukuni in his grasp.
"My mother fell ill shortly before I was told of the transfer, I can't have her medication money be taken away, if she can't see a doctor then she could..." he stopped he couldn't say it, the thought alone was bad enough. Haruhi felt for him, she knew what it was like to lose a parent, to watch as they got sick yet you can't do much. If she was put in Tamaki's shoes back then she would have probably done the same thing.

"There has to a way that we could get you to stay with us and let your mother have financial security." Kaoru looked at his brother, he looked so determined. "Tamaki I'm, sorry for getting upset before, you were just following orders."

Tamaki just nodded, he freed his hand from Kyoya for a moment and wiped his tears. He noticed what he did when he heard Haruhi gasp. He quickly tried to hid his hand.
"Tamaki-senpai, your wrist."

He didn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. No words could explain his reasoning for doing something so stupid. Now that he knew the consequences of his actions a part of him wished he could go back and fix it, have it never happen, but he knew he needed this to happen so he could always look back and remember. To have this never happen again, to let him grow in body and soul so his friends would never have to see him like this again.

Kyoya helped change the subject, Tamaki wasn't going to say anything, words weren't going to help any. "So Tamaki any idea when you'll leave here?"

"No, the doctors want me to do something and I keep refusing so they want to continue to watch me. Besides they still want to try and repair my arm."
"What do they want you to do Tama-chan? If it helps you get better than why not?"
"I just won't be put on medication, I know it's pros and cons and to me the cons outweigh the pros."
He looked at Kyoya, "I know you probably think it's stupid but I just can't do it."
"Senpai, what about seeing a psychologist? Would they allow that in place of medication?"
"They want me to do both, but I told them I would only do the one."
Hikaru waved Kaoru off while he tried to figure something out. "Okay I get that but something else has me confused; you said you were leaving March fourth, that's only a few days away. So are they making you leave on Friday still?"
Tamaki stared blankly at Hikaru, what was he saying? He remembered collapsing at Kyoya's and that was last Friday, so it should only be Sunday.
"What is today's date?" Everyone looked at each other, had no one told him all that had happened? Tamaki looked so confused at them, why wouldn't they answer? "Mori?"
"Tamaki today is Tuesday March first, you were hospitalized late Friday night but you were unconscious until Monday night."
"Kyoya is this true? Have I really been unconscious all that time? I knew the doctors had revived me but I thought it was when I first arrived..." He became quiet his mind trying to process everything. His head was starting to hurt again. If it really was Tuesday than he only had until Thursday to be released or his mother would be in danger.
"I think it's time we go, senpai looks exhausted, but before we do, may I tell the ladies that your doing well. They have been so worried about you missing school." The others smiled at Haruhi's question knowing the girls had gotten so worried when Tamaki didn't go to school and hadn't been in school.
"Yes, tell them I hope to see them soon, and that I'm sorry that I made them worry."
With that she nodded and everyone said their good-byes. Kyoya walked out with the others but promised he would be back in a few minutes after he made a phone call.

When he walked out of the room Dr. Yamada was standing at the nurses' station going over a patients chart. At least he didn't have to search long.
"Dr. Yamada-san can I talk to you when you have a moment?" The doctor handed the chart to the nurse and the two walked away from the station.

"Is there any way to persuade the family Tamaki would be released to that he can't travel out of the country?"
"No, while I do know of the family's plan and as his doctor I don't approve of it, once he is handed over to them they can do as they please. My advice means nothing."
Kyoya figured as much but he had to try.
"That is the reason I'm trying to push the medication, Tamaki is very likely to relapse if he isn't careful and any new stress may be too much for him."
He thanked the doctor and pulled out his phone, only one person could help Tamaki now.

Tamaki kept his eyes closed as he heard the doctor huff. He knew why the numbers were so scattered because his emotions were scattered.
"You don't want me to medicate you but these numbers aren't helping you."
"Once I leave here I would just stop taking them anyway." Dr. Yamada huffed again, knowing he would say that. "Tamaki once you leave here I can't monitor you, I want to make sure your okay to leave and be alone."
"I know, but I must keep everything on track, I can't allow this...illness to stop that, and I can't let the public know I'm on medication." Dr, Yamada could hear the regret and sadness in his voice. He was pushing himself hard to not let anything change what had been laid out for him. He was killing himself and it was heartbreaking to watch.
"Your set for surgery tomorrow morning, if all goes well and as planned we can release you Friday morning before your flight." He didn't want to do it but he didn't have a choice there was no way to change Tamaki's mind.

Kyoya said good-bye to the person on the other end of the line and closed the phone. He didn't buy a ton of time but it was enough for now. He walked back into the room; Tamaki looked somber from all that weighed heavily on his mind. His face was starting to look better though, now that his fever had finally dropped to a safe level his cheeks had a soft tone to them again.
"Kyoya, I know I'm being stupid but I don't know what to do. How do I save her?"
"Tamaki, you need to save yourself first. Your mother will be fine."
"But how can you be sure, I know she is the one being punished again and I can stop it."
"Trust me Tamaki, if you promise me that you will help yourself I can help your mother."
"Kyoya are you sure you want to do that? And I have a question for you; if I leave school for a while and maybe do a summer program would you support me? As it turns out I'm failing most of my classes. I'm about two months behind with homework; I don't have it in me to continue. Not right now anyway."
"That's probably for the best if you wait until the fall to go back to Ouran. Yes, I'll support that decision."
Tamaki faintly smiled before his eyes shut and he fell asleep.

Yuzuru held the phone to his ear as he waited for the person he seeked to come to the phone.
"Hello? Anne Sophie I hope your well. Yes, that is good to hear...I'm coming there to get you..."

0o0o0o

I'm sooooo stuck it's not funny. I'm going to try and update again before the new year but I need something to inspire me first. I still love this story but when I got the idea for it I never really knew where I was going with it so now I'm stuck. Hope you liked this chapter, I have a feeling I'll re-do it.

~Femalefighter~