Remus returned from the full moon very sore and tired, but otherwise unscathed for the most part. He still stopped in to the Hospital Wing so Madam Pomfrey knew that he was alright and wouldn't come looking for him. When he went through the door to the Common room he was instantly shushed by Lily, who was sitting on the sofa by the fireplace. He blinked at her in confusion, but then saw Dora. She was curled up on her side with her head in Lily's lap, and tear-stains on her cheeks.
"The poor thing was up crying half the night, worrying about you," she whispered as Remus came over to them. He knelt beside the sofa, and gently brushed Dora's hair from her face. She instantly began stirring and sat up, rubbing her face.
"Wasn't sleeping…" she muttered, then caught sight of Remus through her fingers. "Remus!" She got up off the couch and wrapped her cool thin arms around him, holding him there for what felt like a very long time with Lily watching.
"I'm alright, go back to sleep," he whispered to her, but she shook her head. He sighed and placed his chin on top of her head, looking around the common room with an unusual feeling of contentment spreading through him. How had he come to be so lucky? He had an unstoppable father who had never wavered in his faith in him. He had four amazing best friends in James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter. And, of course, he had his…well…his Dora. Not to mention he was alive, even after all these years. But, there was no doubt that Remus would be the first of them all to die, and he would take it in stride. He was lucky, after all.
In the end, Remus tried pulling the whole "I'm going to bed anyway, so you might as well too!" trick, but it backfired. Somehow they ended up curled up in his bed side-by-side until Sirius whipped the curtains open and stared at them until they got up.
"Honestly, you two, you can't be apart for more than two seconds, can you?" asked Sirius at the breakfast table later in the morning. "I wake up, see something bright pink in the gap in Moony's hangings, and lo and behold my baby cousin and my best mate are curled up like two very contented rabbits!" He took a vicious bite out of a breakfast sausage, juice splattering everywhere quite grotesquely. Dora and Remus both turned their gazes down to the table, blushing furiously.
"Really?" asked James.
"Contented rabbits, you say?" added Peter.
"You're disgusting," Lily said to them both, throwing a cinnamon roll at their heads. Strangely enough, she missed them both and instead hit Sirius in the middle of his forehead.
The entirety of Gryffindor Table fell silent as one (when they were quiet nearly half the racket in the Hall was gone), and turned their heads to stare in shock at one of Gryffindor's most popular. Their eyes remained trained on him as the cinnamon roll stuck to his head for one, two, three seconds, separated from his head with a squelching noise, and then landed right-side-up on his plate. A large shiny gob of glaze still stood out between his eyebrows noticeably.
Everyone waited with bated breath for some sort of explosion (Sirius and Lily had been voted during Peter's crazy phase of poll-taking most likely to kill one another before their seventh year ended, as they butted heads so frequently while vying for James's attention), and just when it seemed that Sirius's face could get no redder from embarrassment, a strange, foreign sound distracted them all. It was unfamiliar, yet wonderful to Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily to an extent that they forgot about their issues.
Dora was laughing.
No one had ever, in six years, heard her laugh before. It seemed that the past few weeks she had even been holding something back, but was finally able to break through that wall that was keeping her from showing her emotions to their full extent. Now she was holding her stomach and her mouth was wide open toward the ceiling. It was like music, or bells, to Remus, tears were streaming down her face, and he couldn't help laughing along with her. Slowly, even Sirius and Lily melted and joined in.
Interrupting their pleasant foray into oblivious bliss, the morning owl post came. The laughter abruptly stopped as Remus and Dora both received mail.
"Fuck!" exclaimed Remus as he read the contents of his letter, then dropped his forehead onto the table with a loud 'thunk!' Sirius didn't even look up from his toast.
"Your Da take your mum back, then?" he asked as he chewed.
"Of course he did, he always does!" complained Remus, though it was muffled against the wood of the table. "Jesus man, why's he got to be so lonely all the time? Can't he get a fucking dog or something?"
"You can't blame your dad for being lonely, Remus," Lily scolded him. "Isn't that right Dora? …Dora?" Everyone looked to Dora's seat, but she was no longer there. Remus leaned back in his seat to see Dora practically running from them, her shoulders curled forward in the same stance she had always walked with before she had tried to kill herself.
"What happened?" asked James, staring after her as well. Remus shook his head.
They saw Dora at lunch, and she looked a little dazed but otherwise back to her normal self. Though she refused to tell him what had caused her unusual mood swing, and they all let it pass off as nothing.
A week passed in such a perfect fashion that Remus began to suspect it was all a dream. Everyone was feeling content, even with the seventh years' NEWTs coming up. Sometimes Remus had the feeling that Dora was trying very hard to be cheerful, and he was grateful for her effort. He noticed a change with the way he looked at her, too. Even though to others she was clumsy and uncoordinated, every move she made looked like a dance to him. Candles didn't reflect off of her eyes, the candles lit themselves when she looked around a room. She smiled at him and he felt his heart stop for a few seconds before racing off like a cursed broomstick. He even talked Lily into bringing her camera downstairs one day, as if he were going to record her unnatural beauty for all to see and put it in the history books. She could do no wrong. And, just when Remus was about to take the dreaded leap past the line of friendship, the unthinkable happened.
Dora lost herself again.
As if someone had flipped a switch inside her mind, she withdrew into herself almost overnight. Her hair and eyes went black as midnight, and dark circles developed under her eyes. Sirius had passed her in the corridors after several days of not seeing her at all.
"Dora!" he shouted at her, but she only went pale, hunched her shoulders further, and quickened her pace away from them. They all sped up to a jog. "DORA!"
James, with his longer legs, managed to catch up to her and get a grip on her sleeve, but Dora yanked away with a snarl-like cry of "Do not touch me!" before she ran away at full speed.
"Lupin!" McGonagall barked at him as class ended the next day. He shrugged at the lads before walking to her desk and raising his eyebrows expectantly at her.
"I would like to talk to you about Nymphadora's recent behavior, Mister Lupin," she elaborated, gesturing for Remus to sit down. He obediently sat. "I suppose you have an idea of the cause of her mood change over the past few days?"
Remus shook his head. "No Professor, she hasn't spoken to any of us in days, except to yell at James in the corridor when he tried to stop her." The Professor's mouth tightened into a thin line of distaste – always a bad sign. "Is something wrong?"
"Nymphadora's grades have dropped. Drastically. She was assigned an essay in every class and has failed to turn in a single one," explained McGonagall in clipped tones, but Remus (who knew her better than she was fully comfortable with) could see the concern in her eyes. "And it is very crucial that she focus on her studies with it being so close to the end of the year. I suppose that now, as you obviously can't reach her either, I'll have to have a word with her about things. I don't suppose you could get her to my office tonight?" Remus nodded. "Thank you Mister Lupin, please close the door behind you."
Remus nodded again, unsure of what else he could say, and made his way to the Gryffindor Common Room. He saw Dora in the window seat, curled up and gazing out at one of the first rainfalls of the season. He grabbed her shoulder tightly, scaring her so effectively she fell to the floor. She then pressed her back up against the seat, looking like a caged animal, and Remus felt his heart plummet.
"I'm not doing this as Remus, I'm doing it as a Prefect," he said with a hollow voice. "McGonagall wants to see you in her office tonight. You'd better be there, she was pretty angry."
And so Dora went, and spent over an hour imprisoned in McGonagall's office before she was allowed out. The next morning she at least made an effort to speak to him, which was a great relief. Whatever McGonagall had said, it had made some sort of impact.
"Erm…Dora, are you okay?" Peter asked. Dora's gaze snapped up to him from beneath her eyelashes.
"Everything's fine, Peter."
They could tell she was lying by the hardness of her voice and the steely glint in her eyes.
"Then why have you been so angry with us for nearly a week?" demanded Lily. She and Dora glared daggers at each other across the table for over a minute, and then Dora slammed her fork down onto the table. She hadn't even touched her food yet.
"You know what? Forget this," she spat in a high shaky voice before getting up and storming away. Remus watched her raise one trembling hand to run it through her hair before she left the Hall.
"What the hell is her problem?!" Lily loudly asked, her face red with distress. She didn't look mad, as much as concerned. "We didn't do anything to her, and she's so mad."
James, who always hated seeing Lily upset, rounded on Remus. "You know the girl better than us, you figure out what's going on," he snapped before wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders and guiding her away.
Remus stared after them, and thought about Dora's behavior for the past week. It was as if she had never been friends with them at all.
No, that's not it, he realized as he made his way to Gryffindor Common Room that night after dinner. Lily had fearfully informed him earlier that she'd heard Dora crying in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
She's acting the same way she did the day she tried to kill herself.
He saw Dora across the room and practically ran at her, ignoring Sirius and Peter's questions of what the hell he was doing, grabbed her arm, and began pulling her toward to portrait hole. Everyone gaped at him as he half-dragged the struggling girl out.
"Let me go!" Dora shouted directly into his ear. She was slapping his hand with as much strength as she could muster, which wasn't much as she had hardly been eating for a week. Her black hair fell in her face as she tried to jerk herself out of his grasp, and he tightened his hold around her wrist. "Let me go, you asshole!"
Well, at least she's talking to me again.
Remus opened the door to the Room of Requirement and flung Dora in before entering and closing the door. Dora collided with his chest in her haste to try to escape. She was still shouting so much her always-pale face was red.
"Dora, stop fighting me!" he shouted desperately, crushing her to him and not letting go even while she clawed at him with her fingernails. Thinking of something that might be able to at least shock her into silence, he thrust her into the shower that had shown up and turned on the water, soaking her within seconds. Sopping wet and shaking with either cold or anger, she finally fell silent.
"I'm sorry, but I would've never gotten you to listen with you screeching like that," panted Remus while he assessed the damage Dora had to done his neck with her nails. She, seeing this, turned red.
"You shouldn't have dragged me all the way here; I could have you charged for assault," she responded dully and without any meaning at all. She plodded out of the shower and dropped down to sit beside the roaring fireplace and dry off. Remus slowly followed her, not wanting to get too close in case she snapped again, but wanting to be close enough to stop her if she tried to run.
"Why have you been acting like this?" he asked quietly. Dora's thin fingers began to pick at the carpet, and she kept her eyes on her hands.
"Maybe it's because I hate you," she said in a hollow voice devoid of all emotion. "Maybe I never want to see any of you again. Maybe I realized that the idea of being around a werewolf disgusts me." Even though she was obviously lying, her words still stung.
"I know that you don't mean that; tell me the truth Dora," pleaded Remus. He reached out and his fingers just barely brushed hers when she flinched away as if burnt. She turned her head away from him, and when she spoke, her voce shook.
"I…I can't." She sounded truly conflicted as she dropped her face onto the knees she'd been hugging to her chest. Her hair was relatively dry now, and was beginning to curl delicately at the ends.
Without thinking, Remus took one of the curly wisps of hair between his fingers. "Please, Dora. You can tell me."
"But I can't," insisted Dora, pulling away from him and beginning to pace around the room. Remus let out a great sigh of frustration as he too stood up. As she passed him he took her shoulders in to his hands.
"Dora, we've been over this," he said firmly. "I trust you to tell me the truth, if you trust me to keep a level head about whatever it is you're keeping from us."
He forced her to keep looking him in the eye, and watched as her resolve slowly crumbled beneath the mention of trust. She abruptly sank down to the floor again and buried her face in her hands. He carefully lowered himself down behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders comfortingly. After a long time, she put her hands in her lap.
"I require my letters from the past week," she said in a hollow voice before reaching out to the small stack of parchment that had materialized beside her. She removed one letter that was from her parents and handed the rest to Remus. His eyes rested on the first and he felt his heart accelerate.
Stay away from Remus Lupin.
"At first, I thought it was some besotted girl who thought we were a couple, so I ignored it," Dora said quietly as Remus put the first letter on the bottom of the stack and read the next. They all appeared to be written on grubby or used parchment that was splattered with mud.
If you ever go near Remus Lupin again, I will kill him.
He moved that letter to the bottom and looked at the next, not realizing that he was reading each one faster and with more desperation.
I will not only kill Remus Lupin, I will also kill all of your little friends.
Each letter got slightly longer.
If you think I am lying, your other friends' names are James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans, and Peter Pettigrew.
Remus's hands began to tremble; this person, whoever they were, had been watching them all for some time.
I'm going to capture you all before I kill them. First I'll start with Lily, because she's the smallest besides you. Not to mention watching young James suffer will bring me great enjoyment.
Remus felt bile begin to rise in his throat at the thought of Lily and James suffering.
After Lily I'll kill Peter, because everyone's always trying to protect him. He's easy prey; I could take him down within two minutes. I think Lily would put up a fight, and James would most likely try to kill me to avenge dear Lily's death. Sirius will be more of a challenge, because he has not only watched his best friends James die, but also Peter whom he's always been fond of, and Lily who he has never resolved his problems with.
Remus's hands began to shake as he moved to read the last letter. Before he could see it, however, Dora's hand had closed around his wrist. "Not that one." He lifted his eyes to Dora's to see that she was absolutely terrified.
"Why?" he whispered. She closed her eyes as she took the letters from his hand and threw them into the fire.
"It's all about how they would kill you," she said shakily. "It goes into great detail."
She crossed her arms and stared resolutely into the fire, and Remus took a moment to take in her appearance. She had the unhealthy look of a person who hadn't eaten or slept for several days, according to the dark circles under her eyes. Her shoulders were sagging as if there were a great amount of weight tied to them, and at least now Remus knew why. She's been horrified of losing them all for the past week, and most likely had been having nightmares as well. It was truly frightening to Remus, because she did look hauntingly like the day she'd tried to kill herself.
Without thinking, Remus raised his wand and uttered "Accio Dora's potions." What surprised him more was that no less than three phials of green potion—the same pain potion she had used the first time—flew from her pockets and into Remus's outstretched hand. She spun around as the weight in her pockets lessened and gaped at him with wide eyes. Remus closed his fingers firmly around the phials as he clenched his jaw against the lump in his throat. His eyes were burning.
"Dora, what is this?" he asked in a choked whisper. Tears were suddenly spilling from Dora's eyes as she clapped a hand to her mouth.
"Remus, I…I…"
"You what? You were just holding them for a friend?" demanded Remus, trying to vent his horror into anger. "How could you do this to us? To me?"
With a strangled sob, Dora leaned up against the wall beside the fireplace and held one hand over her overflowing eyes. "I just…I was scared, Remus! I thought that maybe…maybe they would leave you alone if I were…"
"What, dead?" Remus asked, shaking his head as even the thought of Dora dying made him want to curl up and stop existing. "None of us would be better off if you were dead, you should know that by now." He leaned against the wall beside her and wrapped and arm around her until she stopped crying.
"What am I supposed to do, Remus?" sniffed Dora after she had exhausted all of her tears and she remained shaking in his embrace. Remus tightened his hold on her and fought the urge to kiss her head.
"Well, if we stick together then it would be harder for whoever's stalking you to fight us, right?" asked Remus, his stomach tying itself in knots with nerves of what he was doing. Dora nodded silently. "Well then, it would be a real shame for us to be separated over Easter holidays next week, right?" Once again, Dora nodded. "Then come with me to my dad's house for the break."
"But they said that if I go near you—!"
"We'll be under adult supervision at all times, and besides, they probably don't even know where I live," Remus assured her quickly. "Please, Dora? I always go home on Easter, and wouldn't you feel better if you could keep an eye on me?"
Dora seemed to contemplate this for several moments before nodding silently. Remus suddenly realized that she must be exhausted from all the crying and stress of the past week, and the Room of Requirement provided a door to the Common Room. He led Dora through the door and gently prodded her until she went upstairs. He then proceeded to go to his own room, where Sirius, James and Peter were all waiting for him.
"She's okay now," he said, not wanting to worry them about the letter-writer for no reason. They all relaxed immediately and settled down for bed.
Remus, for the first time in years, had a nightmare about when he was bitten. When morning came he brushed it off as nothing, and went to meet Dora for breakfast.