Author's Note: I am so sorry that I haven't updated until now. I haven't been focusing on this story. I have been thinking about writing a novel and many ideas are swimming around in my head. So I am sorry that I couldn't update until now. I hope that this chapter is long enough to satisfy you all. Please read and review? It would be wonderful and I will return the favor. Thank you all for the support and thanks for reading.

"Are you sure that she is going to be fine?" I heard Mom's voice ask calmly. I knew that she would be worried about me, but there really wasn't anything to talk about.

Edward responded in a reassuring voice, "Mom, she is fine. She's just a little bit confused and trying really hard to control her emotions. You do realize that she is still a newborn right?" His voice made my mood turn just a little bit brighter, but my mood was still glum.

Esme sighed softly before she walked away from the living room and outside, I don't really know what she was going to do, but it is better that she is not thinking about me and worrying that I am in a foul mood.

I heard five pairs of footsteps follow Mom outside and someone stayed inside, but I couldn't tell who it was.

Currently, I'm sitting under the covers on Edward's king sized bed. Just trying to control my emotions is hard for me, sure it is supposed to be hard when you are a newborn, but it seems like I can't control anything around me.

The sobs that I started to cry overtook me. The consumed me with every bit of might that they could. How come I couldn't control my emotions? How come I have the "perfect" self control? When will my varying emotions just stay in one place, at one time for me to control? Can I ever gain full control of my emotions?

I hadn't heard someone enter, but instead I caught their sent, and it was Alice. She came and sat under the covers with me and held me close to her small frame and just let me cry my tearless sobs into her shoulder. She started rocking me back and forth for several minutes letting me get it all out.

When I finally looked up at her eyes, she seemed saddened by the state that I was in. "You know you didn't have to come up here…" I said softly, not wanting her to leave, but yet not wanting to be a burden to her.

She sighed before releasing me and making us turn so then we were facing each other. "You know Izzy you have to get it in your head that we are all here for you. Yes I realize that I didn't have to come up here, but I did because you are family. No matter what anyone else says, you are family and a family sticks together and they stay together when someone is going through hard times." She paused and wiped away the none-existent tears from her face. She continued in a soft tone, "Don't you dare feel as though you are being a bother when something or someone is getting under your skin. We will always take care of you no matter what the situation is."

I cracked a smile and she smiled back towards me, "Thanks Alice I really needed to hear that."

Alice got up silently and exited the room to leave me to my thoughts. So maybe all of those questions that are spinning around in my head aren't really important. I didn't need to know every answer like I really wanted to know. As long as I had my family, and most importantly Edward, with me then everything would be fine. I love them so much, and they love me so much. I wouldn't want to trade that for anything in the world.

And if family is so important to me, then why haven't I buckled down on the date for my wedding to my love Edward? I knew that I wanted to have the wedding in August, but we didn't have a date at all. Maybe I should be worrying about that rather than about all the confusing facts about my new life as a vampire.

I stood up, and walked slowly out of Edward's room and found that no one is in fact in the house. All of the scents are faded which means that they haven't been inside for a while. How long had I been in his room? I looked at the clock that hung on the wall in the living room, and it said 2:01 a.m. Wow, I had been in his room for a long while then.

I ran outside, following Edward's scent that would most likely lead me to all of my soon-to-be family. And suddenly as I was following his scent, I recognized the path that I was taking. Sure I had only taken it once, but it was a very important place to me. It was where Edward and I had the first date, the meadow. I wonder why he was here, why was the rest of his family here with him? I thought he only knew about the meadow, and his family didn't.

I ran into the meadow with enthusiasm and found Edward, by himself. "Love," he started to say softly, "I'm sorry for making you upset." His back was turned to me, so then I couldn't see his eyes, but I could hear the emotion in his voice. He was blaming himself for me being upset, and he had no reason to blame himself, it was something that I had to deal with. "I didn't mean to make this hard for you; I wish I could do something." The longing in his voice was clear as he slowly turned towards me.

I ran towards him, and he automatically held out his arms and held me gently against him. I could tell by his body language that he was confused and conflicted as of to push me away or to hold me close to him and not have to worry about anything. "Love," I used his nickname for me on him trying to convey with just my voice that nothing was wrong, "I'm fine, and you shouldn't be blaming yourself. You have done nothing wrong, so stop blaming yourself about my troubles alright?" I didn't want to let him go, but I had to pull away and look at his face. His face showed that he didn't fully accept what I was saying. I could tell that my expression was turned into a saddened one, and I knew he didn't like that expression, but I couldn't control my emotions like I used to be able to.

My voice was weak as I slowly backed away from Edward. "You don't trust my judgment on myself." It wasn't a question; it was a statement because I could tell by his stance and his expression that he didn't trust me. How could I marry him if he didn't trust my judgment on my own state of mind? "How can you not trust me? I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to marry me!" My voice rose with each emotion coming through. I trusted him with my life, my existence, and he couldn't even trust me with my own emotions.

His eyes started to smolder with thousands of emotions that I couldn't read, I could barely look him in the eyes at this moment. He doesn't trust me. My eyes started to tear up with sadness, I thought he loved me…doesn't he love me? "Isabella," oh trying to suck up now is he, "I love you, you know I do. I've loved you since day one, but you are not emotionally attached to yourself right now. Don-" I couldn't listen to him anymore.

"If you love me so much Edward, then you would trust me! You wouldn't double guess what I believe is right whether you think it is wrong or not! But you double guess me, I… I have to go." And by the end of my statement I ran while I was dry sobbing and I vaguely heard Edward calling me, but I willed myself not to hear him.

I just kept running and running, I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going, in fact I couldn't even see. My eyes were blurred with the unshed tears that lay in my eyes, and they would never leave. I plopped down wherever I was and cried, I couldn't stop my endless crying today. It is just so emotional today about everything including controlling my emotions.

I heard the heavy footsteps of Emmy walking towards me, and I crumbled further into my depression and realization that Edward doesn't trust me with my own emotions. "Big Izzy?" He questioned towards me, but I couldn't respond whether I wanted to or not. "You know Edward loves you right?"

And that, that made me snap. "He doesn't love me if he can't trust me with my own emotions Emmy. I can't have someone who can't trust my word on my emotions. Sure I am a newborn, but I would have thought that Edward would have trusted me and my judgment." My voice cracked and I barely got any of the sentences out of my mouth.

He sighed and said something that I didn't want to hear. "Listen Izzy, he does trust you…he just doesn't trust how he is feeling right not. It would probably be better if you talked to Jasper, but he is trying to calm down Alice, she isn't taking your fight so well ever since she saw it. I'm sorry that you think that he doesn't trust you, but truly he does." He sank down onto the ground next to me and then rubbed my back, making me feel slightly better. "Do you think that you two can make up?" Emmy was being sincere, he wasn't trying push me into anything that I didn't want to do.

I looked at Emmy, and told him the honest truth, "I think we can, but I need to know that he truly trusts me. How, how can I do that?" I couldn't hold myself together, I couldn't hold my head level.

Emmy never responded to me, but instead Alice came out of nowhere and told me the advice that I needed. "This is the only way that I can think, tell him how you feel in a calm matter. And then possibly tell him something that you have never told anyone else. Then see if he is going to tell anyone, or tell him not to tell anyone, and wait it out. That's all I have to say about the subject. Let's hope that you two can work it out." With that piece of advice, she walked away.

"Just do what she says and it will be better." Emmy responded, "Do you want to go home?"

I nodded my head and said "I really just want to be with Edward." I sighed. Even though I was angry at him, I couldn't be without him. He provided comfort for me, and I needed him to be here for me, ready to listen to my every word.

We ran home, and as soon as we were home, I ran straight to Edward's room. I went to his bed and sat underneath the covers again waiting for him to come back to his room. I sat and waited, preparing what I wanted to say, but I knew that that would do me no good once he walked in here, I wouldn't follow whatever I had prepared to say.

The door slowly creaked opened and I immediately smelled Edward's scent. He sat next to me on the bed and crawled underneath the covers. He sat there silently for a few minutes before he was about to say something, I interrupted him. "Edward, I really feel betrayed, you don't trust me as much as I thought you did. Obviously you don't trust me right now mainly because I am a newborn, but I really want to know if I can trust you when I am actually a "real" vampire." I sighed with a hint of sadness. I didn't want to have to question what Edward and I have, but he is forcing me to.

"Bella," he said softly in pain, "I do trust you will everything that I have, I'm second-guessing myself." I gave him a questioning glance before looking at his hand on top of the covers and intertwining my hand with him. "I'm second-guessing about speaking for you, about your abilities. You are very powerful Bella, and you could do anything that you wanted to. Even leaving me is an option and you can just will your feelings away from yourself. I don't want that to ever happen. And what if I say something that will offend you? Then you can just walk away, without feeling any of the pain. I don't want you to ever walk away from me or your feelings towards me. I'm sorry for making you very upset and making you think that I don't have trust in you, I really do. I love you my little lamb, please will you still marry me?"

My voice seemed overwhelmed when I eventually found my voice. "Of course I will still marry you. I do love you will all of my heart. I don't want to be second-guessing yourself about anything involving me. If you do say something wrong, trust me I will let you know, or anyone else in the family will probably inform you. I won't will you away like you think that I am going to. I find comfort in you, and I just need you to survive." I paused and looked at him making sure that he was understanding. "Edward," he looked at me curiously, "I want to tell you something that no one has ever known about me." He nodded his head so then I would continue. "When I lived with my mom, she didn't really care about me. And when I would go to school, I usually wore the same clothes that I wore the day before. I only had a few sets of clothes, so this repelled kids around my age to become friends with me. No one ever became friends with me besides this one boy…his name was Josh. He was my only friend, and I developed a crush on him. When Emmy called Josh, Emmy got very upset. He told me that the only reason that Josh had become friends with me was because he thought it would be easy to "get into me" or that is how he put it anyways. So when I came up here, I wasn't expecting to make actual friends just because of my experience with my mom." I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry, I kept chanting in my head. Whenever I thought about Josh I always felt betrayed and hurt, but maybe these memories would fade.

Edward rubbed soothing circles onto my hand and pulled me into his chest. He rubbed soothing circles into my back, silently letting me know that it was okay to cry. Of course I wasn't going to cry, or let myself consciously anyways. "Little lamb, I never knew you went through something terrible like that. I mean you should have never had to go through that. But I promise to keep this to myself, but you know that Alice already knows about this because she saw this right?" I nodded my head against his chest. "I won't betray your trust again, I promise."

"Really?" I asked, not really wanting to believe him, but I was already hoping and believing what he was saying.

"Really, I mean it beautiful." I heard the smile in his voice as he slowly released me. "So…can I get a kiss?" He smiled his crooked smile towards me and that made my heart melt. I smiled and placed my lips softly onto his lips. This kiss was slow and passionate unlike the kiss that we had shared before. I missed the slow pace of the kisses because this, this made me feel beautiful unlike the rushed pace knowing that he was full of lust for me.

I pulled back from the kiss and smiled sweetly at him. "You are lucky that I am so loving." I teased him gently. "I'm sorry that I ever got mad at you. Will you forgive me?" My voice was questionable and gave him a choice unlike my demanding voice earlier.

"Of course I forgive you my little lamb." I laughed lightly and hugged him close to me. "Now we should talk about the wedding…"

And just like that Alice appeared in the room with us. "I knew that you two would figure it out!" She smiled brightly at us, "Now about this wedding, what date is it going to be on?" I smiled and looked at Edward, and all he did was nod. "Sometime in August would be nice, but we don't really know an exact date." She smiled back at me and nodded.

"I'll figure it out for you. Do your shopping rules still apply Bella?" Her twinkling voice asked, and I had to really concentrate. What were those rules again? She saw the question in my eyes, and repeated the rules to me, "One, we don't look for your gown, you want to look by yourself, make it a surprise for everyone. And I have to block my vision from Edward if I see white anywhere. Two, you get to chose the bridesmaids gowns, not me, although we have to bring Rose along in order to do that. Rule number three, we won't be in the mall for more than two hours, and two hours is the maximum. And you are not sticking around a mall for an entire day." She sighed at the last few sentences; after all she loves to be in the mall because she is Alice. I chuckling and nodding, giving her the yes to the rules still applying.

Alice started to pout, but I couldn't let her win. "Alice it is my wedding, so let me do as I please." She nodded and slowly started to walk out of the room until she remembered something. "Can we shop tomorrow Bella, and Edward can shop for his tux with Emmett and Jasper?"

Edward answered for me before I could speak, "That would be wonderful Alice." He smiled as she left the room, and I smiled at him while giving a tender on the lips before letting his arms bring me into my daydreaming state of mind.