Hey, I'm sorry it's been so long since I last typed you guys a chapter…then again, I've been apologizing for a lot lately. There's someone out there that I owe a full hearted apology to, and I just wanted to thank you for everything you do for me and for being the amazing person that you are. I'm sorry I hurt you…and even though I still plan to apologize in person….this chapter is for you.

Disclaimer: I don't feel like coming up with something witty so here it is: I don't own Twilight!

A/N: I'm telling this chapter from Renesme's point of view…it just seemed easier.

"But I can't go see her Jacob, I can't!" I shrieked. I didn't normally let my emotions run away with me, but this was a special case.

"Nessie, you've got to sometime. It's not like you can avoid her forever."

"Watch me." I said stubbornly. Jacob exhaled loudly, in that there's-no-reasoning-with-you way.

"Renesme, honestly, what choice do you have? To leave? Because you know Julie would stay here…in which case you'd have to meet her." I saw the logic, and understood what he meant. But it was just so hard. Why did everything have to be so complicated? What was I supposed to say to her? "Oh hi, I'm Renesme, you're cousin, and the person who ended your life." Yes, I'm sure that'd go over superbly. I growled a frustrated growl underneath my breath.

"Jacob, I just don't know what to do." I said, feeling close to tears. "Everything's so confusing to me." He pulled me into his warm embrace.

"Shhhh." He whispered soothingly. "It'll work out." I was glad for once that someone wasn't trying to placate me by saying it was "Ok", but instead was just giving me hope that everything could turn out better. I took a deep breath.

"Okay. I'll go. But you have to be right there with me the entire time." I said sternly.

" 'Atta girl." He said, beaming at me. "Let's go." By the time we had decided to leave, there was a knock at the door. I answered it quickly, only to find Zafrina at our doorstep.

"Alice sent me for you." she said in explanation for her appearance there. I nodded, and we followed her back to the house. I didn't have time to think, to wonder what was going to happen. This was an instinct choice I had made, it was a bad one, but I had to brave up and deal with the consequences.

The first time I saw her I didn't recognize her. She didn't smell the same for one thing, and for another her features, as all of ours, had been heightened and beautified.

"Hi." I said shyly, extending my hand to her. She glared at my hand suspiciously and then answered.

"Hello." She answered in a wind chime voice. I smiled at her, but she didn't return it. After a beat she said, "So you're Renesme?" I nodded at her, and before I could stop it, a stream of apologies was pouring from my mouth.

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to do this to you, this is awful and it's all my fault, I don't know what to say, I know you probably hate me, but I really, really would never have done this to you normally, I don't know what came over me-" she held up her hand in the middle of my flow of words.

"Stop, okay? What's done is done. You can't change it. Yeah, I'm mad. I mean, no one wants to die or have to have a huge part of their life taken away from them. But I'm here." She didn't look at me while she said it. I felt immense pain for this girl I didn't truly know, and for what I had taken from her. Chances, opportunities, wonderful things that could have happened….and because of one dumb mistake I had changed all of that. What kind of a person was I? Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized what I had done.

"Julie," I started again, " I need to say one last thing. Everything that I've cost you…I know there's no way I'll ever be able to make it up to you, and no amount of apologizing will make it right. But know that I do feel horrible about all of this." All she did was nod…what was that supposed to mean to me? But at least she wasn't screaming, yelling, crying or trying to kill me.

"Your mom's already explained everything to me." She said, indicating towards Bella with her hand. My mother smiled encouragingly at me. Sweet Bella, always more worried about others. I walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She held me for a moment.

"You're right mom." I whispered into her shoulder. "Always right. I should have stayed away from her…. I should have gone the other way."

"Honey, it's all right. I'm here for you. We all make mistakes." Bella said, holding me tighter.

"But why this mistake?!" I sobbed. "Why now?"

"Sweetheart, I don't know." She said, gazing at me with sorrow filled eyes. "But everything happens for a reason." Jasper's hand was suddenly on my shoulder and I felt instantly calm. I wish he could completely take away the pain that had been plaguing me about this situation, but at least I had an emotional break, even if it was just for a moment or two.

Sorry again guys, know it's short. Ill try to get something more lengthy out to you this weekend. Love yall!

Meghan