"Abe where is he?", she felt like throttling the old man as he deliberately evaded her questions.
"Henry? well he's I'm sure he's around umm not at work?"
"Don't! You know very well he hasn't been into work since I returned. Lucas keeps mumbling about him taking 'personal' time. Personal time for what!"
"Jo, I'm sorry, he said he needed some time away – I don't know how long he will be gone"
Her frustration was brimming. She ready to explode, yet seeing the old man sitting calmly with his tea she became aware that it was not Abe she was angry at. Unclenching her fists she blurted out "He knows I know, doesn't he and he's run away scared"
"Knows what?" Abe feigned ignorance.
Jo did not bother to answer, preferring to look directly at Abe accusingly. Under the scrutiny he folded, though his resolve had been weak from the start. He had encouraged Henry to speak to Jo before leaving which Henry had refused. Abe was only willing to defend his father so far.
"Yes, he knows you know – but I'm not sure its fear exactly that made him go"
Walking over the table she sat opposite, taking Abe's hands in hers she looked at him unwaveringly.
"I don't know if I believe him, but the fact that I don't completely disbelieve must count for something", she leaned in closer "please Abe, tell me where your father has gone".
It took nearly three hours of driving outside of city lines before Jo arrived at the trail leading to the small cottage, hidden within the dense woodland. She walked along what Abe had called a path, she however, thought Abe was being overly generous; the thing she stumbled along to find the building was overgrown and muddy, barely visible. From the first stubbing on of her toe she cursed Henry to the arrival at the front door.
Standing before the building the confidence began to leech out of her body. She knocked whilst briefly reviewing her plan. Within seconds of this thought she realised she had not planned anything; the situation was so unique that no combination of words or action would be able to fully manage the situation.
She knocked, no answer, she waited.
She knocked again, no answer. By the fourth time her concern had overridden any self-doubt. She pushed slightly against the door; the old wood creaked in protest, yet yielded further as she insisted.
The room was dark. On entering she was unable to make out any form. A chilled breeze ran through.
"Henry?" peering in closer, leaning further "Henry?"
As the moment deepened she was able to make out outlines, a stuffed armchair, small kitchen area and what appeared to be a bed pushed into the corner of the room. Abe had mentioned that the cabin was small; he had not advised her that that it was essentially one room, roughly divided into sections by furniture placement.
Becoming braver, she walked directly into the middle of the room. "Henry if you are here, you need to answer me!" no more cowering with confusion, she would have this out with Henry in a mature fashion. She would have done that, except Henry wasn't there.
"Damn you" she muttered. "Well I'm not leaving and I'm freezing" An open fireplace beckoned with pre cut wood stacked beside she quickly took to starting a fire to defrost her bones. She recognised that she was taking liberties, though she told herself that she had earned a few concessions given Henry's concealment of the truth.
It was half an hour later, whilst she sat curled upon the armchair, intermittently poking the fire, when the door swung open sending a chilly blast into the room.
"What the hell are you doing here!" roared a voice from behind her.
"I'm trying", she calmly replied realising that Henry would have no idea of who would be sitting in the chair "to find my partner, any idea where he might be?"
Henry stood, wide mouthed and for once at a loss for words.
"But….?"
"Abe"
"Abraham!"
"Your son it seems is a tad more forthcoming than you"
"Jo, I …I didn't expect you here"
"I assumed as much, given that you ran away before I was discharged"
At this he hung his head slightly, still remaining frozen to the single spot in the room, unable to advance or retreat. Without raising his head he mumbled, "I didn't run away"
"Henry", Jo had no qualms about moving, and quickly swung her legs from the chair to stand in front of him "you waited until I was in a coma, told me your biggest secret and then you ran away, No", she reached for his arm as he went to turn "you are not going to leave again". She continued to hold him until he begrudgingly faced her.
"Good, now for God's sake can we get some lights on in here – its miserable"
Henry took to the job of lighting the various candles and lamps around the room. It didn't take long for the combination of muted lighting and open fire to make what had seemed a depressing cavern for lost souls, into an inviting, almost friendly abode.
Conversation between the two was stilted to begin, retracing his confessions, explaining her confusions. Her frustration, his fear, each discussion seemed to spiral back on a central point.
"Henry what do you want me to say, that I am 100% convinced that you are immortal"
He reached over to the knife between them, moving to run it across his throat
"Stop – No! I wont have you kill yourself in front of me, I don't care what you believe, , I wont have you hurt yourself for my benefit". She grabbed his hand, holding it still then pressing it down onto the table.
"Then there is no way for you to really understand, you will continue to think I am insane. I find that an impossible scenario"
"Impossible for what Henry", she considered her words before moving forward. "I realised whilst I was in hospital, when it was clear you weren't coming back, that I …. missed you"
He looked up towards her, meeting her eyes for the first time. Soft, dark, determined eyes unwavering in their commitment to heal the fractures to their relationship.
"I didn't know if what you had said was a dream, a crazy fiction to distract me, all I knew is that you were no longer there and that more than anything else hurt me" at this she pulled her arms back across her body, a feint shade of red crept over her cheeks. "Its sort of funny in a way, before you, after Sean there was nothing, I was nothing"
Henry turned, concerned, brows slightly furrowed.
"I mean I felt nothing, I had turned off. I went to work, did my job, went home and occasionally" at this she paused estimating what his response may be "I took a man home, just to feel something, even if it was only to feel angry at myself for my choices"
"Jo I didn't.."
"Don't say you didn't know, you saw me on the day we met – even I realised that I looked a state. I'd been out the night before, drinking, trying to forget. You saw straight through me, on the first day we met you understood me more than my closest friends" sipping her tea, she slipped deeper into what had become her own personal confession. "Hanson was worried, he tried to intervene, had me over for dinner a few times. He even picked me up a few nights when I was too drunk to get home, I genuinely believe I wanted to die"
Her honesty reached into Henry's heart, gripping it tightly, pulling it towards her. He shifted closer, bringing her into to his side. His arm now wrapped around her shoulders. He briefly remembered a snowy evening in what seemed too long ago.
"Then you came along, you didn't even realise what you were doing", she turned her head, not realising how close his face was now to hers "you were just so….so Henry, you were blunt, and weird and … and…accepting, its like you knew the path I was choosing, and you didn't judge me or try to change me"
Previous discussion in relation to her scepticism of his condition had drifted into the background of her current revelations.
"Jo I understood you, I understand you, because I have been you, except unlike you I did die – many times and often because I just did not care enough to try to live. After Abigail", he pulled her tighter "after Abigail it was only Abe's determination that saved me from whatever hell I was creating for myself".
She shuffled closer into his grip; it felt safe and calm, like being in the eye of a storm.
"We are both pretty messed up" he nodded his head in agreement, yet remained silent, thinking over his years immediately after Abigail had disappeared, how many times he had not only gone to the brink, but wholeheartedly thrown himself into the ravine. He shuddered a little at his self-centeredness at how those actions impacted upon his son.
For a short time they both sat, wrapped in their own memories of people gone and actions taken. Jo finally broke the moment by pushing herself slightly away, yet close enough to still reach Henry's face with her fingers.
"Its you that matters to me, your condition or whatever it is, made you who you are, and who you are somehow got inside and saved a part of me, I don't want to lose that"
"But if you can't believe.." his voiced trailed off.
"Can it be enough for now, for this moment that I don't think you're crazy, that I'm not running from the room, that I'm actually", she ran her fingers along his cheek, memorising every minute detail of his features "that I'm actually happy that you are here, with me"
He reached up and gently brushed her hair, leaning his forehead into hers.
"Yes", he whispered "its enough"