Well, another chapter! And I would like to thank inumarurapture for being my beta. Kami knows that I can't type worth a living hell, and with her help, I hope to make these things bit better to read... hehheh
Umm anyway, this chapter is dedicated to inumarurapture for her kind help! Thanks!
I Lost You Once I WONT Lose You Again
Behavior Lapse
Last Time
Sesshoumaru nodded. "Not all of 'you' Kagome, all of 'us'."
Now
Kagome stood outside Sesshoumaru's door, her breaths slow and steady, her heart beat a normal pace, but her mind traveling so fast, it was hard for her to keep up. 'How could the humans defeat the youkai? It's impossible!'
:As much as I dislike the idea,: her inner youkai growled, :no demon can defeat a god. That is what is impossible. With the gods against us, we could easily lose:
Kagome sighed, knowing her innerself was right. 'It's just hard to accept,' she thought sadly. 'I mean, I knew there were no youkai around now, but to actually have the evidence thrust upon me... It makes it... real.'
Her inner youkai didn't answer, causing the demoness to sigh as she pushed herself off the wall and looked at the door. Sesshoumaru was inside, talking to some man about a business problem, leaving Kagome to herself in a big mansion all by herself, half an hour. Much too long in her opinion.
Normally, the curious woman would have wandered around for a bit, but something was stopping her. The inu youkai on the other side of the door was acting to strange for her scrambled mind to handle.
First he had called her by name, then he had willingly given her information on her friends from the past, except Miroku, Sango and Kohaku, and he had been nice to her. His behavior was much to odd for her. Sure they had shared a few moments together in the Feudal Era, but nothing that warranted his actions. She couldn't understand why a stoic youkai like him would act in such a manner. He should still be cold, emotionless, and partly evil.
Sighing dejectedly, she turned to her left as she caught sight of a door out of the corner of her eye. Her lips in a thin line, Kagome moved forward to push the door forward when Sesshoumaru's office door creeked open.
"What are you doing?" he asked her, stepping towards her as she froze, her eyes wide as her fingers slipped from the door handle. He smiled softly as she rested her chin on her chest and her eyes averted away from him and back to the door.
"Uhh.. Just looking around... Gomen," she stuttered, bowing her head as she blushed, hiding her embarrassment and being caught. 'He couldn't have made a sound!' she thought with no small amount of awe.
Sesshoumaru watched as her bangs covered her eyes and she shifted from one foot to the other, looking much like a child being scolded. He sighed inaudibly with a small smirk and lifted her chin with his right hand, running the claw on his thumb under her lip. "It is nothing," he whispered, his voice husky as he took in a deep breath, inhaling her scent and tasting it on his tongue. "My home is yours until you must leave."
Kagome's eyes widened as she gasped, unsure of what the heck was going on. She tried to look away, but his golden gaze kept her frozen; she couldn't move. Her blue eyes searched his own, curiosity and fear swimming in her depths as she tried to read his gaze. She blushed a deep red as his eyes traveled to her lips, his eyes never wavering as they seem to burn with... 'Holy, hell!'
Sesshoumaru leaned towards her, his eyes narrowing slightly as he felt her body stiffen. Slowly, he bent his head, his eyes locking with hers once more as his lips came only centimeters from her own. "I've waited so long for this..." he whispered before catching her mouth in rough kiss, his tongue having a hard time keeping still behind his fangs.
Kagome didn't know what to do. Her body felt stiff as he wrapped his left arm around her waist and ran his right through her hair. 'What the hell is he doing?' Unfortunately, her body didn't agree with her, for soon, she felt her tense muscles loosen and her arms wrap around his neck as she melted into his touch.
How long had it been since she had craved another's touch? Another so like him... Kagome gasped and pushed away from him. He instantly stopped, releasing his hold on her lips, but not the grip on her neck or waist. "Gomen, but we can't..." she breathed, tears welling in her eyes.
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and let his arms fall from her body, already missing her warmth. "You still love him," he stated, looking over her head.
Kagome shook her head, sighing as she turned from him and walked towards his office door. Slowly she ran her fingers across the oak, her touch trailing the design of the inu's tail. "No..." she whispered, looking towards him. "But you remind me of him, and that hurts." She ignored him as he stepped behind her, his body only inches fom her own as he let his right hand come down on hers, his claws leading her on a trail over the inu's back.
"You also do not want this..." Sesshoumaru let his eyes fall to her, his gaze only seeing the top of her head as he let himself basque in her pressence. It would do no good to try and convince her now. Best to leave that to his past self.
He vaguely thought of the personality difference of his present and past self and decided that it was best for her to find out from the Lord of the Western Lands, past version. She would be hurt not only mentally, but emotionally by the personality change. "Think what you will, Kagome," he whispered in her ear, his voice husky. "It does not matter at the moment, but soon, you will see."
Kagome gasped as he trailed his claws across the back of her hand and up her arm before turning and walking towards the stairs. Mind scrambled and body tingling for reasons unkown to her, the demoness follwed him, her steps light and almost silent.
Later
Kagome spent the rest of her time in the garden's of Sesshoumaru's home, choosing instead to be amongst the roses instead of the youkai within the manor walls. He confused her to no end, and it wouldn't due to have false thoughts of Sesshoumaru when she returned to the past. She could wind up being six feet under ground.
She snorted mentally at that thought and took a deep whif of the roses around her. The rose was her favorite flower. A beautiful object to behold, with a firy weopon to protect itself. It could mean great love, or possibly death. Never could one truly define the beauty of a rose.
Kagome shook her head out of her caliginous thoughts and brushed her fingers across a red rose before turning and walking towards the manor. It was time to leave.
When she stepped inside, Kagome instantly noticed the tense atmosphere. The air seemed heavey, and if she didn't know any better, she could actually see whisps swirling around her. Sighing mentally and straitening her posture for courage, she stepped from the sun room and into the living room.
She stilled as Sesshoumaru stepped from beside the door way to the sun room. "It is time, Kagome." His eyes held a sense of anxiousness, courage, and the will to join a battle. A battle, sadly, that he could not join. Not even for her sake. Not even if he could. "Come, I have a weapon for you."
"W-weapon?" she asked breathlessly, her brow furrowing in confusion. "But I have my seighs..." she trailed off, wondering at his raised eyebrow of amusement. "Back in my basement... DAMNIT!" She scolded herself mentally, either ignoring or not seeing the amusement flash across the taiyoukai's features.
She never needed to carry her seighs anywhere. So when she left with Kouken, the thought to go into her room and get her seighs compeltely escaped her anger controlled motives.
"I see," Sesshoumaru drawled, turning to start down a corrider beside the staircase. "Then perhaps you will accept my offer of a weapon?"
Kagome sighed, cringing inside on depending on somone again. Now she would be in his debt. DAMNIT! "Gomen for my audacity."
"Do not apologize for what you are," he answered, clasping his hands behind his back as he slowed so she would be in pace with him. "I have many weapons I've colledcted over the years. Some are laced with magic, while others only have a noble history. You can have any of your choice, save a few."
Kagome nodded, turning to him with a smile that she didn't have to wrench out of her gut. "Arigato, Sesshoumaru-sama."
He bristled slightly at the formal title, but he nodded none-the-less. "You are welcome. Now, come. We do not have much time." The young demoness nodded and quickened her pace, allowing the taller male to also quicken his stride.
As they came to the end of the corridor Kagome felt her body pass through a shield of magic. She looked to Sesshoumaru for an answer, but he was to busy opening one of the large oak doors. "Through here," he motioned, allowing her to enter first.
She slipped through the door quickly and gasped lightly as the room lit as Sesshoumaru stepped in. She couldn't hold in her surprise as her eyes gazed at the large dojo, about half the size of a football field in length and two times as large in width. Along each wall an assortment of different weapons hung in precise angles and positions. Beside the red pillars there were barrels of bakkens, wooden swords used for training.
"Amazing," she whispered, her eyes caught to the end of the room where two swords laid on a silk pillow. One humble and giving off a beautifully holy energy, while the other raged with the purple fury of Goshinki. "You still have them." It was more a statement than a question.
"Indeed," Sesshoumaru breathed, placing his left hand on the small of her back. He led her to the left wall, his eyes set on a set of seighs. "These have been handed down through a long line of inu-clan. They inhance the ability to contol your yuki and let it take form." He reached for them quickly and held them out for her to hold.
"Form?" she asked, her fingers carefully pulling the hilt out of his grasp. She ignored the sharp current of electricity that passed through her fingers at his accidental touch.
Sesshoumaru swallowed thickly, knowing that she must be feeling the sensations passing through his body. "Yes, form. My past self will indulge your questions, so long as you take this." He walked towards his swords and opened a drawer beneath the shelf. Hastily he pulled out a scroll and shut the drawer quickly, not wishing for her to see it's content.
"What is it?" she asked as she slipped the seighs into her belt loops and took the scroll. She scanned the red ribbon with curiosity, noting that the band was well worn and frayed slightly at the edges. She took a deep breath and her nostrils flared. It smelled like him, but with a hint of a raging river.
"It is an explanation of your return and of what he or I, if you will, must teach you." He glanced towards her face, noting the confused expression. "There is also instructions for him to adorn you with proper clothing. If I had the time, I would have noted that you also need to eat more. Even as a youkai, Kagome, you must eat at least once every two weeks. You are not doing so."
Kagome glared daggers at him as she gripped the scroll in her fingers. "First off, there is nothing wrong with my clothing. I find them comfortable. Second, I have not had an appetite at all, and you are not my mother."
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes, his annoyance at her defiance apparent. And yet, he knew he wanted her no other way. Sighing inaudibly, he walked towards the left wall and pulled down a bow of what seemed to be silver painted wood. "It does not matter. Most likely my former self will make sure you taken care of."
Before the miko-gone-demoness could question him further he handed her the bow. "This is a holy weapon. It is not family heirloom, but a deadly weopon that was used during the youkai war. I found it while wandering the ruins of a battle." His eyes darkened as his inner eye traveled to the past. "Many were lost that night. Some youkai say that is when our fate was decided." He snarled angry at the thought of his life being controlled by a four letter word.
"Sesshoumaru...?" Kagome whispered, reaching to touch his shoulder. Her voice laced with concern somehow woke him from his stupor.
The youkai blinked rapidly before smiling softly at her worried eyes. The smile however quickly dissappeared as her body started to glow a purplish blue of the power of the Shikon-no-tama. "It's time," he growled darkly, angry that his time with her had come to an end.
"Now? Already?" the young demoness gasped, clinging the bow to her breast in slight panic.
"Do not worry, my young miko," Sesshoumaru purred, holding her chin between his fingers. "Do take care of yourself, however. And those seighs, for they belonged to my mother."
Kagome gasped loudly, shocl over coming her senses as he quickly bent to lay a kiss on her lips before pulling away to smile softly. "Your..."
"Stay safe," he breathed as her form disipated in the calm light.
The youkai sighed to himself as he suddenly felt a cold chill down his spine. Already he could feel his memories wanting to change with her entry back into his past. But he would not let it.
He would keep the memories of his loss of her, of the loss of the two humans he had come to consider 'friends', of the loss of his lands. He would remember the heart wrenching pain of watching Rin die as she grew old.
It made him strong. It made him smarter and more willing to let himself care. Perhaps not as much as others would like, but he could say that he no longer had the desire to rub his hanyou kin into the dirt.
'Those were the days,' he thought with a sigh as he left the dojo with a calm presence about his being. "I will not forget."
WOW! I am so happy with myself! I know not many people actually like to read this story... but actually getting out of my writers block to type more, makes me forget that. I'm very greatful to you readers and reviewers who enjoy reading my story. Your reviews really helped me get through my writers block. They gave me motivation where watching Inuyasha episodes could not. LOL I sound like a hopless dramatic. Perhaps I should stop reading that drama story my friend wrote?
Anyway, I think there was a considerable amount of fluff. Probably not as much as you readers would like, but I actually don't want their relationship to grow to fast right now. I have plans for their future. rubs hands together in a fierce manner
Sessh: Finally the lazy one was able to pull herself out of her rut.
SL: Your so kind with all those lovely nicknames you come up for me. insert sarcasm
Sessh: As I have said before, "I do try".
Kag: As we all know...
Inu: he will never be as bad as SL when she is in a bad mood. She's scaier then Naraku...
SL: I am not THAT bad... Am I?
Inu: You put my fricken head in a pickle jar in the last rollplay you did with that girl on the internet. AND you made me dance around in a chicken suit!
Kag: Perhaps all these way are her way of showing that she loves you. Perhaps more then Sesshoumaru.
SL: Say what?
Kag,Sessh,Inu:... Nah
SL: Whew, you guys scared me there. Inu is not my taste. 'Cept his ears and pouty face. I'll take that.
Sessh: Along with some reviews from are readers. Remember young ones: Although I may look young, I am FAR older than you and I know many ways of torture. You have been warned.
SL: That is rather creepy... MWAHAHAHA!