Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Lorelai POV
All day long, I have been thinking about what Rory said. Maybe I should just ask him. He's Luke; after all, he will tell me if I ask, right? Do I even have the right to ask? I mean we have only been going out for two weeks. Does that mean I can ask him who the woman driving his truck was? I don't think it would bother me so much if he had not looked so damn nervous. Was it really guilt that I saw? Now the question of the day is why. Why look so guilty, what is he hiding?
I walk into the living room and spot Rory sleeping on the couch. That's good. She didn't sleep well last night. The baby has been more active lately and it keeps her up. The afternoon naps have been keeping her going. The baby seems to sleep all day, probably lulled by the movement, but at night, its party time. The baby kicked me in the back so hard last night I'm surprised I don't have bruises. I remember not being able to sleep at all at night when I was pregnant. By the end, I was ragged. Sleeping in the afternoon, in the elder Gilmore residence, was impossible with Emily around. I really don't miss those days, but watching Rory go through it all these months has brought back memories I blocked out a long time ago. I love Rory and I'm grateful for every day I've had since I had her, but getting her here was a long and painful process.
I watch her sleep, something I haven't done since she was a child. Her hand protectively curled around her beach ball of a belly, when she shifts her hand unconsciously rubs small circles on her clearly moving belly. I watch the skin of her stomach stretch and bulge out further than should be humanly possible. All I can think at this moment is that is my grandbaby in there, I am going to be a grandmother. The closer it gets to Rory's due date the more scared I get. I'm too young to be someone's grandma, I was just getting used to the idea of having a child old enough to be in college. Luke is lucky, he's only going to be a great-uncle, I could get used to the title of great-aunt a lot quicker. Then again, if our relationship progresses to marriage then Luke will also be the child's grandfather. The thought makes me laugh aloud. I stop when I realize that my insane brain has brought me to a subject I should not be thinking about yet, but the thoughts will not go away. I think I am in love with Luke and I think I have always been.
It always seems to come back to him in the end. With my current thoughts, I make up my mind. After shutting the ringer off and turning down the volume on the answering machine, I grab my purse, keys and jacket and head out the door. I start the Jeep and pull out my cell phone, hitting the speed dial for home. "Hey kid and future grandbaby," I say and even though I'm scared I cannot help the smile that takes over my face. "I've decided to take your advice. I'm going to interrogate Luke. Okay maybe not interrogate so much as use some not-so-subtle questions. Call me if you wake up before I am home and I will come pick you up. Maybe we can get some movies or something. I love you and I hope you slept well." I disconnect and pull out of the driveway.
The town square is usually bustling with activity around lunchtime, but with the festival tomorrow, the crowd seems to have multiplied. I pull up in front of the diner and notice that his truck is still gone. I am sure I can use that to my advantage. I can hear Kirk yelling orders across the square and I use my imagination to picture the chaos that Kirk can cause. It will be worth attending the festival just to see what kind of disaster he will cause. The bell chimes and I take a seat at the counter, there are still no tables available. I slip out of my coat and look around for Luke. I don't see him anywhere. I do see Lane heading my way and I decide to start with her. She was here when the mystery woman left. Maybe she knows who she is.
"Hey Lorelai," she says coming over to the counter. "Coffee?" Knowing the answer already, she pours out a cup and hands it to me.
"I have trained you well, young padawan," I joke and she laughs. I take a sip of the hot coffee and use it like its liquid courage. "So Lane, did Luke go out?"
"No," she says while wiping down the counter. "He's upstairs finishing the last of the painting. He really did a nice job, wait until you see the baby's area."
"Oh well, where's his truck, did something happen to it?" I ask trying to sound nonchalant about it.
"No, he let someone use it, I just don't know who. It's been unbelievably busy in here and it's just me and Caesar until Luke finishes upstairs," she tells me. The bell rings and more people enter the diner. "Sorry Lorelai but I have to take care of them. Is there anything else I can get you?"
"No hun, go ahead," I stand up and grab my coffee. "I think I'm going to check out the progress upstairs."
"Okay. If I don't see you when you leave, tell Rory I'll come by when I get out of here," Lane waits for my okay before rushing away. With purse and courage in hand, I head behind the curtain and up the stairs. Even though it is now my daughter's apartment and everyone who lives there are not home, I knock out of habit.
"Come in," I hear and open the door. Luke sees that it is me and he smiles. "Why didn't you just come barging in?"
"I do not barge," I tell him, pouting slightly. When he crosses the room, to stand in front of me, I suddenly find myself out of breath. My mind cannot process when he's this close to me. When I look into his eyes, I have to struggle to remember why I came up here to begin with, and then he kissed me. It is the sweetest kiss, his lips are soft and the hair on his face tickles me. When he pulls away, I feel like I have lost something vital and it hurts.
"Come see, I just finished," he tells me, excitedly. He takes my hand and pulls me further into the apartment. It's amazing what a few coats of paint can do, but the amazing thing is the wall behind the baby's area. He had used stencils to create a world of nursery rhymes. Mother Goose, Old King Cole and Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall, every nursery rhyme I could think of has been depicted on the wall.
"Oh Luke," I feel like I am going to cry, but I push it back. Luke should not have to deal with both of us crying over his creation. There is no way that Rory will not cry when she sees this. I bet she even hugs him. I can picture his discomfort in my mind. He'll awkwardly pat her back and mumble something about it being no problem. The best part though is the fact that the whole time he will be looking at me for help, like that would happen. "It's amazing, I love it and Rory will love it."
"It's nothing," he says, gruffly and I cannot hold back the little laugh that escapes. I know him so well or maybe I don't, that is what I'm here to find out.
"Did something happen to your truck?" I ask while turning to look at the rest of the apartment.
"No someone borrowed it," I can hear a tone in his voice when he says someone. "She had to go to Hartford to pick something up." Huh.
"She?" I ask. My voice sounds innocent and curious, but my mind is screaming. Who the fuck is she? "The woman you were talking to this morning?"
"Yeah," he says and he adjusts his baseball cap. "So is Rory with you? Maybe she'd like to see this now." He's trying to change the subject, but I am not backing down.
"Rory's sleeping and there are still too many fumes in here for her. She will see it tomorrow night. Who is she?" Well that was subtle. I can see the conflict in his eyes and I can see the struggle, but I don't care anymore. I love him and I am determined not to loose him. For the first time in a long time, I think I have found the first step to my very own happily ever after and no one is going to stand in the way.
"She has seemed tired lately," he says and I have never wanted to strangle him more than I do right now.
"Rory's fine, she just pregnant. Is she an old girlfriend or something?"
"Aw jeez, no she's not an old girlfriend," he shudders and I feel the dark cloud that has been over my head all morning, lift just a little. He is definitely not involved with her. I think he even turned a little green. But now I am really curious.
"Than why can't you tell me who she is?"
"She's my sister," he says and with those three words, I know everything.
"That's Liz," It comes out more like a statement than a question. "Why's she here?"
"She's going to her high school reunion and came to visit me," he tells me. He pulls out a chair for me to sit on and then seats himself across from me. "I didn't tell her anything about Jess and Rory."
"I didn't think you would, I know you respect Rory's wishes. If you didn't, I think Jess would already be dead or married. I can definitely picture you as a shotgun wedding type of guy." I pause to prepare myself for his answer to my next questions. "Has she talked to him? Is he still with his father?"
"I guess he still with Jimmy, she said she got a letter from him a few months ago. He told her where he was and that's it, she hasn't heard from him since. She told me he's nineteen and that you can't tell him anything."
"Of course you can't if you don't try," I tell him and he smiles.
"That's what I said."
"See great minds think alike," He looks at me as if I'm crazy. What did he expect? I am crazy.
"Please don't compare my brain with your insanity," I can't stop the pout. I get up from my chair and head towards him. He sits back watching my movement. When I reach him, I sit on his lap and put my arms around his neck.
"Do you believe her?" I ask him quietly, my head resting on his shoulder. My mouth is close to his ear and I can feel the shiver go through his body as if it had gone through mine.
"Huh?"
"Do you think Liz is telling the truth about Jess?" I'm trying to keep my thoughts straight. I decide it is not the best idea to be on his lap, if I want to get answers. I try to get up but he tightens the arms circling my waist, anchoring me to him.
"It's probably true, knowing Jess and knowing Liz. They do not have the best relationship. If he hadn't sent her that letter she'd probably still think he was living with me," his voice has a touch of sadness to it. I wonder how a mother could just abandon her son like that. I feel a hint of sympathy for Jess. It doesn't last when I think of his recent abandonment.
"I'm happy she isn't an old girlfriend," I whisper into his ear. Again, his body shivers but this time, the feeling of his hand caressing my back causes my body to mirror the shiver. "I like you," I tell him in a sweet voice.
"I like you too." This time when he kisses me, it is intense. His tongue demands entrance and I grant it wholeheartedly. Time seems to stand still and when we do finally pull away from each other, we are both panting for air. At some time during the kiss, I moved from sitting on Luke to straddling Luke and I can feel his hardened cock. I grind myself against it and he groans. We are moving too fast but neither of us seems to care now. We are kissing again and my head is spinning. Luke gets up from the chair, his hands are on my ass, and I wrap my legs around his waist. We never broke the kiss as he walked us over to the couch and laid us down. I don't remember it happening but some how we are no longer wearing clothes.
Luke POV
"I like you," she tells me. Her breath in my ear is driving me crazy. I love how she feels in my arms. Her scent is driving me crazy. She smells like coffee and that something that just screams Lorelai.
"I like you, too," I cannot stop myself from kissing her. Her lips are warm and they taste of coffee, I push my tongue passed her lips and her mouth is moist and sweet. I pull her pliant body over mine until she is straddling me. I can feel the heat of her on my crotch and my cock hardens. When I pull away from her, I can see the fire in her eyes. She wants me and I have always wanted her. I know we are moving too fast but when I feel her grinding into me. Any control I had, is now gone. I kiss her again, picking her up and carrying her to the couch. She is still rubbing against my cock when I lay her down. I return the favor and she rewards me with what sounds like a purr, as her hands begin to unbutton my shirt. She pushes the shirt open and down my arms then she begins on her own shirt. My hands are on the button to her jeans and I still have not pulled away from her mouth. When I do pull away from her mouth we are both naked, I don't even remember how we got our shoes off, but our pants are in a pile at the end of the couch.
I trail kisses down her neck to a pair of the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen. I have pictured Lorelai in my head so many times through out the years and nothing I ever saw was close to the perfection laid out before me. I suck her nipple into my mouth while my fingers of my hand play with the other. Her body's response to my manipulation is all the encouragement I need to start trailing my tongue down her stomach, along with a few playful nips that made her moan. When I reach my destination, I place her legs over my shoulders before diving into the glorious feast in front of me. I nibble her outer lips before dragging my flat tongue up her slit. The noises she makes when I suck her clit get louder when my tongue enters her hole. The whole diner could probably hear her right now but I cannot bring myself to care. She is sweeter than anything I have ever had in my mouth and I have to force myself to leave her hole to travel back to the sensitive little nub above it. I replace my tongue with a finger. She is so tight and hot. My other hand travels back up to play with her breast but she grabs it and sucks my fingers into her mouth. I cannot take much more, I like I could explode at any second. I put another finger and then another into her, stretching her, making sure she is ready for me.
Lorelai POV
My body is on the brink of orgasm when Luke pulls his fingers out of me. I feel empty and I whimper at the loss, but it only lasts for a moment as he crawls up my body. He sinks into me and by the time he is fully sheathed, my body is exploding, my walls are clenching around him. The waves of my orgasm keep coming as Luke slowly pumps his cock into me angling his hips to hit just the right spot. Before I know it, I am peaking again. This has never happened with anyone before but I don't have time to analyze this as Luke speeds up his thrusts. I soon find myself crashing over the edge again.
"Lorelai." he whispers like a prayer, as the ecstasy over takes him and he follows me over the edge. Our bliss is only short lived as the door is thrown open and Liz walks in. "Oh god, oh my god."
"Sorry," she says, clearly embarrassed but nowhere near how embarrassed I am. "I'll just be outside."
When she is gone we hurry to get dressed, neither of us looking at each other. I do not regret being with Luke it's just I didn't want to be caught having sex with him. I definitely did not want to be caught by his sister. The jury is still out on her. I look up and my eyes meet his, he gives me a small smile. He takes me in his arms and kisses me firmly.
"We will finish this later?" he whispers in my ear.
"Weren't we already finished?"
"I wasn't even close to being done with you," he kisses me. His kisses hold promises of good things to come and I have to remember that his sister is right outside the door.
Liz POV
I only wanted to return his keys, thank him and see if he could give me a lift back to Carrie's house. He was supposed to be painting not naked on the couch in an apartment that was not even his anymore. I thought he didn't have a girlfriend or maybe it was just that the girl who lives here now, was not his girlfriend. If I had just heard about him, being caught like that, it would have been hilarious but I was the one doing the catching and I can see nothing funny about it now. I wonder who she is.
I had gone to Hartford, bought something to wear to the reunion tomorrow. I found a few good stores and got everything I needed. I even found a bookstore and picked up a little present for Jess. Maybe I can give it to him when he comes to get his car. I had called him on the way into the mall and I was surprised by his reaction to the news. He had laughed. He told me he should have known it was Luke the whole time. I figured he would have been angry, the Jess I know would have been furious. I am starting to believe my baby has finally grown up and I cannot help but think that I still do not know him.
My thoughts come back to the present when I hear a cell phone ringing from the other side of the door. A minute goes by and the door handle rattles a little before opening. It is the woman. Her face is as red as a tomato. I feel guilty for causing her discomfort, it never even crossed my mind to knock before going in. "Hey, I'm sorry for just walking in like that. I'm Liz, Luke's sister but you probably already know that by now."
"Hi, I'm Lorelai," she says and I can see she is in a hurry to get out of here as fast as possible. "I have to go get food for my daughter, she's hungry. It wasn't your fault, about the knocking, you could not have known. He was painting and that's not what you expect when someone is painting." She babbling and I decide to change the subject. Maybe it will take her mind of the situation.
"Oh, you have a daughter? How old is she?" I ask her. An instant smile appears on her face and I can see the bragging is about to begin. It is every mother's right to brag about their children, I can remember doing it when Jess was younger. That was before he started pushing me away, but that was also before I had started drinking heavily. I wonder if Jess had known about Luke's girlfriend, but I shouldn't be disappointed if he knew and didn't tell me, that is just Jess.
"She's eighteen," she says. "I really have to go."
"Nice meeting you, maybe we'll see each other later." I call after her as she hurries down the stairs. I turn to the still open apartment door and I see Luke gathering up his supplies. "All finished, I see you were celebrating." I cannot help joking with him, its fun.
"Shut up Liz," he says harshly.
"I'm really sorry Luke," I tell him. "I didn't think to knock, but I also didn't think you would be up here doing that. It's not like you to do that with a diner full of people down there. What if it had been the girl who lives here? I doubt she would want to walk in on that."
"The girl who living here is Lorelai's daughter," he tells me, grabbing the rest of the paints and taking them into the hallway. I follow him and watch as he puts them in a closet. When he finishes he stands and faces me. "You could have left the keys with Caesar. He would have made sure I got them."
"I wanted to thank you and to ask you for a ride to Carrie's place. I ended up buying more than I expected and I don't want to have to carry it all."
"Fine," he says and I know he still is not happy. "Do you have everything?" I nod my head. "Let's go."
He didn't speak to me the whole drive. I know he's angry, but now it is making me nervous. I cannot help thinking how he is going to feel after he finds out that I have talked to Jess. After all, he did say that he would be coming to get his car. At least I do not have to worry about getting his things from Luke. My only hope is that Luke isn't too mad at me in the end.
Rory POV
I woke up feeling refreshed, hungry and only just a little achy. I called for Mom, figuring it would be easier getting up with her help. When she does not answer, I do a rolling type, pushing thing to get up. I learned the maneuver after ending up stuck on the couch at home. When I reach my feet, I head towards the bathroom, making a note on the way that the light is blinking on the answering machine. When I finish, I push the button and listen to the message from Mom. I'm happy she has decided to ask him instead of torturing herself with not knowing. There is another message from Grandma after that saying that the invitations have been sent and to call if Mom needs any help.
My stomach growls loudly and I remember what had woken me up in the first place. I grab the cordless and head for the kitchen to snack while I wait for Mom to arrive. I dig through the refrigerator with one hand and dial the number with the other. It rings a few times before she answers it.
"Hello," she says and her voice sounds weird.
"Hey Mom, what's up?" I ask her.
"Nothing, nothing's up," she tells me and her voice gets a high-pitch to it. "Why would you think something is up?"
"You sound strange. Did everything go okay with Luke?"
"Um...yeah...um everything went fine," she stutters out. I know something is wrong but I also know I will not get anything out of her over the phone.
"Okay, well I'm starving. Can you bring me home an order of cheeseburger and cheese fries for me?"
"Sure babe, I'll see you soon," she says and disconnects before I can say anything else to her. That was definitely strange, but then again Mom is a strange woman. I frown at the phone wishing Mom could see, but then I turn the frown towards at the refrigerator when my search yields nothing edible. Just another pro in a long line to living above the diner, if there is nothing upstairs there is always something downstairs. As long as I don't tell Mom I do it, Luke does not care. If she knew, she would end up raiding his coffee. I could picture Luke coming to open in the morning and finding an extremely wired Lorelai prancing around the place.
Flopping down at the table, I spot an apple and munch on it happily. It doesn't last long but instead of grabbing another one, I decide to take a shower. Lately I have been taking a couple a day, the water is soothing and they make me feel almost normal. The full-length mirror is the only torture of taking a shower in this house. I try to avoid looking in it with my clothes on, but when I am undressed, I cannot stop myself from looking. I stare at the reflection in front of me and I feel like I am looking at a stranger. Same hair framing the same face, it is just the body that I do not recognize. My breasts are large and heavy and my nipples have gotten darker, the skin stretched taut over my belly. I cannot stop thinking how grotesque my body would look to anyone else who saw it. When I see myself like this, I feel happy and sad, happy that even though I am too young I have this beautiful baby girl growing inside me. The sadness is something I will probably always have, caused by the missing piece of myself. I decided at the beginning, not to let Jess be my Christopher, I never realized that he already was. I miss him so much sometimes, but it is only when it's late and I am completely exhausted that I will admit to just how much.
I finish up in the bathroom and waddle to my room with a jumbo-sized bath towel wrapped around me. My overnight bag is next to the bed and I dig through it to find some underwear, a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I manage to dress without too much fuss, the t-shirt is big enough to fit Luke but it is comfortable. I hear the door slam shut while I am trying to get my socks on, figuring Mom can help me I head towards the living room. I find her sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. I guess things did not go well with Luke.
"Hey," I say to her, but she does not look up. "Can you give me a hand?"
When she does look at me, I can see the strain on her face. She smiles seeing the socks in my hand and slides down the couch. I sit and put my feet in her lap. I'm worried when she still hasn't said anything. It's not like her to keep quiet for more than five minutes ever. When I was younger, we would play 'who can stay quiet the longest?' and she always lost. She finishes with my socks and helps me into a sitting position and I cannot take the silence anymore. Seeing her just sitting there is making me angry, not with her but at Luke. What is it with the men in that family? Do they all have to hurt the Gilmore girls?
"Tell me what happened," I tell her. She looks shocked at the emotion in my voice. It is scary that even I could hear a hint of Grandma in there. Not even the horror of that will stop me. "What the hell did Luke do? Has he been seeing her behind your back? Am I going to have to kill him?"
There is a slight blush creeping its way up her face and she smiles brightly, shaking her head. The smile does not last long though. "Luke didn't do anything wrong, she isn't his girlfriend and no you can't kill him. I think I love him, scratch that I know I love him."
The squeal that escapes me, as I try my best to throw my arms around her, sounds loud in the small house. "Oh my god, that's great. Did you tell him?"
"Of course not, it's too early for that. That's just way too fast," she says, but the blush is back and I can see she is hiding something. I leave it alone for the second. I will get it out of her eventually.
"Luke has been in love with you since he met you, and you know it."
"It's still too early, you know Luke, and he would flip. He'd get all growly and avoidy, he'd act like Luke."
"I think he'd be happy," I put in my two cents and decide it is time for a subject change. "So, who is she if she's not his girlfriend?" When the frown appears this time, the pieces seem to fall into place. How could I not know? It wasn't Mom that Luke had been nervous about seeing the woman. It was me seeing her. "Does she know?"
"Does who know what?" she asks me, but I am not in the mood for her playing dumb with me.
"Does Liz know about me? Does she know about the baby?"
"No, how could she? None of the townspeople are going to say anything to her, she may have grown up here but she is the outsider now. Luke won't tell her and even if she did see you or meet you she has no idea that Jess is the father." She says. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when I realize she's right. It is not like I have the words 'Your son knocked me up! Ask me how?' written on my forehead. Liz would not know a thing.
"Did you meet her? Is she as crazy as Luke and Jess said she is?" I am curious about my baby's other grandmother. I look at Lorelai and her face is the same color of a lobster. "Why are you blushing? What did you do?"
"Nothing, nothing happened," she says and it is so clear she is lying. I give her a look that says 'I will not be told no' until she breaks. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." I reach for my food sitting on the coffee table but she stops me. "You might not want to be eating for this." I open my mouth to protest but she just shakes her head at me.
"Fine, but this better be worth it. Cheese fries are not as appetizing when they're cold."
"When I got to the diner Luke wasn't downstairs so I asked Lane if anything had happened to his truck."
"Smooth," I tell her.
"She didn't know, but she said Luke was upstairs painting. So I headed up and I confronted him. Well first, he showed me the beautiful job he did on the place. Wait til you see it, you are going to love it," she says and I have to wonder if she is deliberately changing the subject. Oh yeah she is trying to change it all right.
"Back to the confronting Mom."
"Fine," she says with a huff. "So I ask him who she is and he tries to avoid the subject, but that doesn't work with a Gilmore." She gives me an evil eye and I roll my eyes in response. "I guess she came for her high school reunion and decided to visit Luke while she is here. He said he blew up at her about Jess and her lack of mothering skills, I think."
"Did she know Jess wasn't here?" I have to know if he is all right. Maybe he calls her and she told Luke that he's okay. I am panicking a little on the inside. What if he's not okay? What if she still thought he was in Stars Hollow? What if something has happened to him and nobody knows? Is he hurt somewhere all alone? I may be mad at him for leaving but I need to know he is still out there somewhere. Even if I do not want him here, but even those feelings are retreating these days. I love him and I want him home, I just don't say it aloud.
"Luke said that Liz told him Jess wrote her a couple of months back and told her he was with his father. I think that's the reason he blew up," she says and then a thoughtful look comes over her face. "I don't know how anyone could have such disregard for their child. Maybe Jess wouldn't have turned out so screwed up if she had been a mother."
"Mom," I warn her.
"Sorry," she tells me and I can tell she is sincere in her apology. I know how she feels, I could never picture treating any child like that, let alone my own.
"So how did you meet her?"
"She came back while Luke and I were talking," she lying again and I know it. Again, the pieces fall together and I give her a look of disbelief.
"So telling Luke you love him is going to fast, but sleeping with him after only two weeks isn't?"
"Says the pregnant teenager."
"Says the former pregnant teenager," I throw back at her. "I hope you were at least safe."
She opens her mouth, probably to throw out another pregnant teenager line, but it never comes past her lips. Her eyes big and she drops back into her previous position. I watch her with her head once again in her hands for a moment before hoisting myself up and taking the food into the kitchen. A thought occurs to me and I call back to her. "You didn't do it in my bed did you?"
"Ew, no we used the couch," she yells back.
"Good tell Luke I wanted a new couch anyway," I say sitting down and digging into my still warm food with a smile on my face the whole time.
Luke POV
I had never been so happy to be back at work as I was at this moment. I had just come back from dropping Liz off with Crazy Carrie. Seeing Carrie again had been an experience in itself, I had forgotten how persistent she was. She had this tendency to make me feel dirty and in serious need of a shower. It has always been like that, even in high school. I used to wonder if it was me or if she would hit on anything with a pulse. I got away from her and Liz as fast as possible. I've had enough excitement for one day without being molested by a woman I cannot stand to be near.
When I had arrived back at the diner, I sent Lane off to be with Rory at Lorelai's and I spent the next couple of hours trying to focus on anything except what had happened upstairs. I do not regret being with Lorelai, but I wish we had taken it a lot slower. I may have always loved her but I also do not want anything to come along and ruin what we could finally have. I was in the middle of serving Kirk his dinner when I realized something. We hadn't used any protection. I cannot stop the feeling of panic that sweeps over me, but hidden deep down inside is a small feeling of elation at the thought of Lorelai pregnant with my child. I push the thoughts back down, it is too soon to be thinking about that. I would just be setting myself up for disappointment about something that might not even be possible. She could be on the pill. That would have explained her lack of concern, along with the fact that we had only done it once. I feel so stupid to have not thought of it, I could ruin everything with one little moment of memory lapse.
After the initial dinner rush, I find myself at the telephone. Before I can stop myself I dial her number, I am only a little disappointed when Rory answers. Rory tells me to hold on and the longer I'm holding the closer I am to chickening out. Keeping an eye on the clock, as more minutes pass I wonder if she is going to blow me off. When the minute hand indicates I have been holding for five minutes, I decide to just hang up and let her make the next move. Before I can pull the phone from my ear I hear Rory saying to take it, she does not sound happy.
"Fine," I hear Lorelai say, her voice sounding just as irritated as her daughters' does. "Hey," she says and I can only assume she is talking to me when she says nothing further.
"Hey," I say and wait to see if she is going to say anything in return or if she is going to allow the awkward silence to continue. It soon becomes apparent that she is not going to speak. "I was wondering if you wanted to go do something after I close up tonight."
"Dirty," she says. Well at least she is still joking with me. Maybe things will be all right after all.
"Lorelai, will you let me take you out tonight or not?" I ask her, trying to sound exasperated but I am grinning like an idiot. I see Kirk giving me a nervous look, he cannot hear what I'm saying but my smile seems to scare him. Which makes me smile even more in the hopes that he will leave and not come back for a few days.
"Yes Luke, do you want me to meet you?" she asks me. I can hear Rory and Lane in the background shouting their approval. I had always worried about how Rory would feel about me dating Lorelai, but I have noticed how happy she seems for us these last couple of weeks. That and the fact that she is the one that set up my first official date with Lorelai.
"No, I'll pick you up," I answer her. "Is nine good for you or do you need more time?" I slap myself in the head for that one. It has been too long since I have had a date. I hope she does not take it as an insult, but she just laughs.
"Nine is good, that gives me two hours to make myself pretty," she says and I find myself sighing with relief. She must have heard me because she is laughing again.
"Okay, I'll see you at nine."
"Oh Lukey, just one more thing," I cringe at the name, but I let her get away with it. I am too happy at the moment to let her and her nicknames get to me, at least she didn't call me Duke.
"Yeah," I say but it comes out more grunt sounding than I intend.
"Bring me coffee," she says laughing harder now than before. I roll my eyes when I can hear the girls laughing right along with her.
"Yes dear," I say before hanging up. The next two hours were spent with the biggest smile on my face, partly because of Lorelai and partly because it seemed to make the townspeople so nervous. They didn't spend anytime hanging around.
Jess POV
I had it all planned out. I would get in and get out as fast as possible, right? Wrong! Oh, how wrong I had been to think that anything would be easy about returning to Stars Hollow. I cursed Liz yet again for putting me in this position. I had planned it all out after she called me at noon and told me about Luke stealing my car. I had felt like such an idiot, I couldn't believe I hadn't figured it out right away. Who else but Luke would have stolen that piece of shit rust bucket that I call a car? I was still laughing at myself when Jimmy arrived. We spent the next couple of hours planning the trip to Connecticut. We decided it would be best to do it in the middle of the night, not wanting anyone to know that I had been there. I was not too worried about running into Rory, she would most likely be at Yale, but I also did not want it getting back to her that I had been there.
By arriving in the middle of the night, I was insuring that Luke would be the only one to see me. Unlike the nosy people in Stars Hollow, he would make sure Rory never finds out I was there. It's not that I do not plan to see her again, but I'm just not ready yet. It's not fair to her if I just come back, the same as when I left. I had listened to Jimmy tell me I was crazy a million times in the hours following the phone call from Liz, but if I was crazy so was he since he had become my co-conspirator. I had been shocked when he announced that he would drive me there, he was supposed to be leaving tomorrow. He called the airport and had his flight plans changed so that he could fly out of Hartford instead. He even made reservations at a hotel by the airport for a room with two beds so I could see him off then drive back to New York in my car.
Every little detail had been planned out. There was absolutely no room for mistake. Jimmy and I would take his rental car to Stars Hollow, he would help me get everything and then I would follow him to Hartford. I would get my car from the garage Luke had stashed it in and bring it to the diner to pick up the things that I had left behind. Using the emergency key to sneak into the diner and counting on Luke being asleep, hoping he would be to out of it to ask me too may questions. Most of which I was sure I would not have the answers to anyway. When we had everything packed into the car, I would head to the hotel and spend the rest of the night with my father. It had all been planned out. It was perfect. I really should have known better.
We passed through the center of town a little after midnight and I breathed a sigh of relief. The place was as deserted at that time of night as I had remembered. When we passed the diner, I was happy to see that Luke's truck wasn't outside. Maybe I could get everything and be gone before he got back from where ever he was. Maybe he had finally gotten a girlfriend. The thought amused me. It was about damn time. We got to my grandfather's old garage and Jimmy kept watch while I picked the lock. He did not ask me how I knew how to do it. He just shook his head and laughed. I had found the keys at the bottom of my duffel bag and I was grateful that the rust bucket started right up. I had been afraid Luke wouldn't have taken care of it, but everything seemed to have been kept up, with the exception that the tires needed air in them. I would have to stop on the way to Hartford and get air for them and probably some gas, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about breaking down.
I pulled the car out of the garage and drove the minute or so back to the diner. Jimmy followed me and parked on the street while I pulled into the alley by the back door. I figured it would be easier to bring everything out that door, that way if anyone happened to look no one would see me lugging it all out the front. Jimmy waited by the back door, while I unlocked the front door, not bothering with lights. Luke being Luke didn't really like change too much, so navigating through the diner in the dark was a piece of cake. I had mastered that within my first week here, so I could sneak in and out, without alerting Luke that I was doing it. I opened the door to let Jimmy inside and we headed behind the curtain and up the stairs.
The hallway smelled like fresh paint and that surprised me. The place had gotten a fresh coat of paint after the remodeling. Why would Luke paint it again? The door was unlocked, something I had been counting on since I had left the key when I had left. It wasn't as if I had ever really had to use it before anyway, Luke did not think too much past locking the front door when I lived here. I remember thinking once that the only reason he had even bothered doing that was to keep Taylor from coming in and decorating the place while Luke was asleep. It was either that or he had been worried about Lorelai showing up in the middle of the night and drinking all his coffee, something that I had always found possible.
We entered the apartment and I headed straight for what used to be my side of the place. I wasn't paying too much attention to my surroundings, not really noticing the pile of magazines on the coffee table or how feminine the new paint looked. I didn't give it any thought until Jimmy spoke up.
"Luke lives here?" he asks me with disbelieving tone. "Since when does Luke read Cosmo?" I shrug and turn back to the shelves holding my books. I had only taken a few with me, which left the majority here. I started grabbing them off the shelf and piling them on the bed, I was about to go find a box to put them in when I noticed that some of them were not mine. Looking back at the shelves, I realized that there were a lot more books here than there had been. I turned back to survey the room and making note of all the changes that had been made. My bed looked the same but when I looked at Luke's bed, there was a floral comforter on it and a teddy bear. Maybe his girlfriend had moved in, but when I checked the closet, I found nothing but girls' clothes.
"It looks like Luke doesn't even live here anymore," I said more to myself than to Jimmy. I opened the dresser drawers and found more girls clothes. There wasn't a piece of flannel in the whole place. If Luke was not living here anymore, who was? Why did it look like my things had not been touched at all? Sure things had been added, like the books and some CD's, and when I checked my old closet, I found my clothes still hanging there next to more girls clothes. What the hell is going on here?
I went through the clothes hanging there, I was trying to get a clue as to who's they could be. In the back, I found something that answered my some of my questions, but also made more. I touched the plaid skirt and it felt like my hand had been burned.
I found myself freaking out, running through the place checking everything. The music, the clothes, the books, the pictures lying around and that damn Chilton uniform spelled it all out for me. Either Rory and from the looks of it Lane are now living here, or Luke has discovered some things out about himself that all the therapy in the world couldn't cure. I took a deep breath trying to calm down so I could figure out what the hell has been going on around here. Why would Rory be living here, she should be at Yale?
"Hey Jess," Jimmy says, snapping me out of the daze that I had been in. "I think you should look at this." I head over to where he is standing staring at a section of the wall. What I see makes even less sense then the rest of my discoveries. Why would there be a wall mural of Mother Goose characters in here? I must have asked the question aloud because Jimmy answered me. "Well I would assume whoever is living here is pregnant."
I cannot help but look at him like he's crazy. "Why the fuck would you think that?"
He heads back to the coffee table and points to the stack of magazines sitting there. I sit down on the couch and grab a few, Cosmo and People, not a big surprise there. It is the Parenting, Fit Pregnancy and American Baby magazines that have me terrified. I get an idea and head towards what I am assuming is Lane's side of the room, I throw open the closet door and start going through the clothes. If Lane is pregnant it would explain why she wasn't living with at home anymore, Mrs. Kim would not have allowed that. I checked her drawers next and found no sign of maternity clothes, which means only one thing. I run to my old closet and check the clothes in there. Sure enough, I find some maternity dresses hanging there. They look like the type of clothes Rory wears to Friday dinners with her grandparents. I check the drawers next and pull out a few t-shirts, all big enough that Rory would swim in them. One in particular catches my eye, holding it up I read the writing above the arrow pointing down. 'Future coffee addict.' Oh shit, is all I can think. Rory is pregnant, no one else but her and Lorelai would have a shirt like this.
Did I leave Rory pregnant? A cruel thought enters my mind and I cannot shake it. Did she end up pregnant by someone else? Did she run back to Dean after I left? Did she sleep with him and get pregnant? I cannot stop the pictures floating through my mind of Rory and Dean together. The most horrible one is of her beneath Dean calling out his name while he makes her cum. My eyes turn to a calendar sitting on the dresser. It was probably taken down so the walls could be painted. Flipping through it, I find times and the name of the doctor written in her handwriting, but this one ends in December and its January now. I find a current one hanging on the refrigerator door with appointments written on it, one a week it seems. I lift the page and check out February hoping for some clue as to what is going on and sure enough there is a big red heart drawn around the fourteenth. It is Valentine's Day but you cannot tell as the words 'due date' are written in huge black letters. I do the math in my head and then not trusting my brain, I count it out on the calendars.
"What the fuck did I do?"
"What's going on Jess?" Jimmy asks me. He is sitting on the couch watching me closely.
"I fucked up, badly."
"Is that why you are doing a perfect impression of a chicken that just lost its head?"
"Fuck off, Jimmy," I say, but I instantly regret it. It is not his fault this time, he was not the one that ran, I was. "I'm sorry, it's just..." I trail off and throw myself onto the couch. I still have the t-shirt in my hand and he takes it from me, holding it up to read the writing on it. When he chuckles at it, I cannot help but give him a dirty look. "There is nothing funny about it."
"What's going on Jess?" he says, seriously. "Who lives here if it's not Luke? Why are you acting like so panicked?"
"I told you I fucked up," I tell him. I am still not ready to say it aloud. I still cannot believe it myself. It all makes sense now. Rory's not in New Haven because I fucked up her life. A thought occurs to me and I feel even worse. Is she living here because Lorelai threw her out? Oh, god I hope not, they have the best relationship I have ever seen between a parent and child. Did I screw that up? Is that why she's living above the diner and where the hell is Luke?
"Stop saying you fucked up and tell me how."
"I left her. I did the same thing you did. I just didn't stick around to see my kid born before doing it."
"Rory's pregnant?" he asks, but I can only nod my answer to him. "Did you know? Did you even have an idea?"
"No, we used protection," I answer. "I guess when they say condoms are only 99 effective they weren't joking."
"It's the Mariano super sperm," he jokes but any laughter that would have followed it is squashed when he looks at me. "So she's living here?" Again, I answer him with a nod. "Well if she lives here, she's pregnant and it's after midnight. Where is she?"
"I don't know," I tell him. I think for a minute before realizing where she is. "The paint is still fresh. She could not stay here because of the fumes. She is probably at her mom's house. At least she is if I didn't fuck that up too."
"What are you going to do?" he asks but before I can answer, he speaks again. "Don't make the same mistakes I made."
"It's too late," I tell him, my voice holding so much regret. "I already have, I left her."
"It's not too late. The child hasn't even been born yet. You still have time to make it right."
"Yeah if she lets me," I say. "That is assuming her mother and Luke don't kill me first."
I don't know how long we sat there in silence. Neither of us said anything until the door of the apartment was thrown open. Even then, we could only get out one thing.
"Shit."
A/N: Who could it be? Thank you all so much for the reviews, they are much appreciated. I have already started on the next chapter, so the wait will not be too long. I hope you enjoyed this one.