E.H.

It's been a while. I'm working on three things at once, so I'll be updating the two I've got going periodically. Meaning, this and SPtL. Thanks for all the reviews by the way! They've helped me A LOT!

Now, without further ado about nothing...here's the next chapter!

Deliver Me into My Fate

I stood in the middle of my new room. I had everything set up the way I wanted it. I let it all sink in past my skin to my bones. I turned in a slow circle, taking in the details. I crossed to my dresser and set up a few pictures that I'd buried in boxes years ago for fear of looking at them. Now, I knew if I didn't set them up, I'd lose what was left of my mother. I stared into her heart-shaped face that was smiling and full of life. I smiled and touched it lightly.

"I'm going to make you proud, mom." I said with a nod and turned to leave my room. I closed the door and turned down the hallway. I jogged down the stairs into the main part of the house. I walked into the living room and stopped beside where Suuichi sat in his comfy chair, reading.

He didn't look up from his book. "Are you prepared to start?"

"As I'll ever be." I answered.

The book closed and he rose fluidly. He turned and motioned me to follow him. He led me out into the back yard where his large greenhouse was. I had thought it was weird when I was moving in that he had a huge greenhouse in his back yard. We stepped inside and I felt a small sweat begin to form on my forehead from the tropical climate within. I ignored it and followed him to the back part of the greenhouse. He unlocked the next zone. I raised an eyebrow at that. Who in their right mind locked up part of a greenhouse? Several ideas flew over my mind. No. He couldn't be a drug dealer. That would be too out of his personality. In fact, the idea made a chuckle escape me. He threw a curious look at me to which I shrugged. I stepped inside the next room and paused. He closed the door behind us.

"What do you feel?" He asked me as he moved to lean against the far wall.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking." I hedged. I kept glancing at the large plant taking up the back corner of the room nervously. Something about it made me feel uncomfortable.

"I want you to tell me exactly what you are feeling at the moment. Details, Nariko."

"Uncomfortable, nervous…and my skin feels itchy. It feels like something keeps running over me, like bugs, but I can't see any on my arms." As if to emphasize my point, I lifted my arms to look.

"Tingling?"

"Faint, but yeah."

"Do you feel…weak or strong?"

I shifted my weight and tried to figure that out. I wasn't really sure. I voiced that. He nodded slowly. He then moved over to the plant and ran his hand over a leaf. The plant moved toward him. I stared in shock as the plant reacted to him similar to the way a puppy would greet its master over-enthusiastically. I watched as it shivered and seemed to stretch for him. He masterfully pet the leaves while his hand glowed a soft greenish-hue. I blinked and stared harder. The plant moved closer to the glow. He moved his other hand to retrieve a watering can. He watered it lovingly.

"How are you making it move?"

"I am not. It does what it pleases."

"It…does as it pleases…" I repeated while watching awe-struck. "Are you saying it has a mind of its own?"

"Naturally, that is exactly what I am saying. It recognizes my aura as the one that feeds it." He looked at me from the corners of his eyes.

"What does it eat?"

"Are you sure you wish to know?"

"…no." I answered honestly. "I don't think I do."

He smirked at my reply and moved away from the plant. "This is not all I brought you here for. Turn around."

I frowned and did so. What confronted me made me freeze with terror. A larger plant than the one he was at was practically vibrating toward me. It was beginning to surround me. I was pretty damned sure I saw teeth near the base of the thing back at its source. Vine like limbs moved around me. I didn't want to make any sudden movements. I don't know how I could tell, but it was testing me. Maybe even tasting me in a way. Suuichi came up beside me. The plant redirected itself at him. It touched him and shivered much like the other and then pulled back as if content. I stared at it as it shrank back.

"Congratulations, Nariko. I now know you have some level of spirit energy. You may actually stand a chance against demons now." He smirked at me from the side.

I turned to him, my anger flaring. "What are you saying?"

"Careful, these plants are very sensitive to emotions. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the reaction." He tossed a cursory glance back at the plant that had been testing me. I followed his gaze and wanted to bolt from the room. It had glowing purple veins lighting it up from the base. Yes, I had indeed seen teeth as they were blaringly obvious now. I moved slowly behind Suuichi. He chuckled softly and motioned for us to leave the room. I did so more than willingly. Once in the main greenhouse, I noticed it easier as he passed the plants. They all reacted to him. I followed him back into the house. He motioned me to sit on the couch. He sat in his chair.

"Your first lesson then will be to call on your energy and bring it out."

"You say that like its easy."

"It will be once you master it."

"All right. How do I do it?" I sat forward a bit more eagerly.

"For everyone it is different. For me, it is easiest to reach with plant life. For Hiei, fire. For Yusuke, a gun. For Kuwabara, a sword… It is whatever your soul makes it. If it helps, Harui used her energy best in the form of a bow and quiver."

I stared at him and took a deep breath. "All right. So, imagine that and then…?"

"No. Don't imagine it as that item. Close your eyes and dive deep into your heart. Deep within you lies a pool of energy. Deep your hand into that pool and pull a small handful out to use. Once you do this, we will focus on forming the energy."

I nodded. I closed my eyes and tucked my legs up onto the couch. I took a deep breath and tried to reach deep within myself. My mind flickered with a ridiculous image reel. Useless images that I didn't need to worry over kept distracting me. I made a frustrated noise.

"Whatever is bothering you is probably the first wall you have to clear away. Push past whatever it is and let yourself fall into your secondary zone. These are defense mechanisms to keep others out."

I envisioned a chainsaw and cut the images away. As soon as I broke through it, I felt like I was literally falling. I threw my hands out in front of my face and biting pain exploded in my palms. My eyes snapped open. Suuichi was off his chair and reaching for me. I watched everything happen in slow motion. My hands were pressed into the edge of the coffee table and I was falling toward it. I moved my head and pressed my legs out to catch myself better. As soon as I stopped, time sped back up to normal. Suuichi was halfway to me with his hand outstretched. His face was a mask of confusion as he looked at me. I looked back at him with the same expression.

"Wh-what just happened?"

"I would like to ask you the same question." He replied. "You were falling and then you moved faster than I've ever seen from you. Intriguing. You don't recall how any of this happened?"

"I cut through the wall you told me to get through. Then I was falling and I opened my eyes."

"Interesting." He sat back down and nodded at me. "Go ahead and continue."

I moved to the floor so that I wouldn't have the same issue again. I closed my eyes and found the same reel. I knew how to get past it this time. I cut through it and once again was falling. I opened my eyes as my head collided with the coffee table. I grabbed my head with a loud curse. Suuichi wasn't reaching for me. Apparently I could only have slow motion psychotic moments once a day. I kept at it for hours until Suuichi said we were done. We ate in silence and went to bed. I fell asleep quickly from exhaustion. I wish my brain had done that as well.

…..

My dreams had plagued me all night. Dreams are all find and dandy when you could at least remember what you'd dreamed that made you feel nervous and freaked out. I got up as the crack of dawn and opened my door right as Suuichi had been poised to knock. He looked at me in surprise but nodded in approval. He explained that we were to begin immediately. I followed him, needing coffee. He allowed me one cup before we started where we left off. The same results met me each time. By the end of the day I had a knot on my forehead and was not allowed to rise from the floor unless I was done with my 'training'.

Days flew by like this, only mixed in with work. I'd gotten the job as Suuichi's office assistant. So not only did I get up and train with him early every morning, I also went to work with him, worked with him, walked home with him, trained with him more, and ate with him. I was stifling yawns at work, praying for restful sleep. The weekends weren't any better. They were filled with the same routine. I didn't complain though. I'd asked for it.

It was the third week of our regimen. It was Saturday and I was sitting on the floor in the living room with nothing but pillows all around me. I had laughed when he showed me my 'training space'. He'd looked upset at my laughter and stalked from the room. I felt bad. He'd been thinking of me when he'd done something sweet and I'd laughed at him. I hadn't seen him since. I was still stuck in the same pseudo-space of my head. After the last episode, I sat up and steeled myself. I could do this, damnit! I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. As I had been doing the last while, I cut through the scroll of images. I started to fall. This time, when I would have opened my eyes, I kept them shut. I ignored the slight discomfort that spilled over my mind. I floated past it into a dark zone that was devoid of feeling. I stopped before the only lit zone. There was a floating piece of paper with a long candle lighting it up. I stared at it in confusion. I'd seen this kind of paper before in monk movies. If I recalled correctly, they were called seals. I'd also seen them at temples. I read the sloping kanji. It wasn't any normal language. In fact, it looked Japanese but was in fact…something entirely different. I felt a strange familiarity with it. It was as though the meaning to it was just past my fingertips and if I reached far enough, I'd find it. I touched the seal with trembling fingers. I realized that it wasn't fear that made me tremble but instead excitement. I gripped the edge of it and lifted slightly. I paused and looked around. Nothing earth-shattering was happening. Must not have been anything too bad. I tore the seal off. I waited for a few minutes. Nothing happened. I sighed and shrugged. Must be my head's idea of a joke on myself. Then everything tilted and shifted so quickly. My body was flung into an abyss. I choked on a scream. Everything lit up around me in a blinding white light. I felt like my body was skinned and being dipped in salt and vinegar repeatedly. I convulsed harshly. I could feel both my inner body floating through what I would dub as hell and my body flopping violently against the floor in Suuichi's house. I had the truest sense of duality there. Then everything stilled and I stopped. I stopped breathing; my heart stopped beating. For all intents and purposes…I was dead.

…..

I opened my eyes against a harsh light. I draped my arm over my eyes. I groaned at the pounding headache that continued to attack me. I sat up slowly and looked around. I was in a room that was very much like a hospital. Except, hospitals didn't have nurses that floated through walls and had lizard tails or fish scaled ears. I gawked. One nurse with purple skin and bright blue eyes stepped up to me.

"How are you feeling?"

I stared at her, blinking. Was I dreaming or was this reality? I couldn't tell anymore.

"Mieko, can you get Botan-san for me?" I shifted. I knew that name. I knew Botan. I'd met her a few times over a summertime vacation that seemed so far away now. Within a few minutes, a blue-haired woman with peony colored eyes nearly bounced into the room.

"Nariko-chan! How are you feeling, dear?" She asked as she crossed the room to me. Her friendly eyes were alight.

"Besides the headache, I'm good. Where am I exactly?"

Botan shifted nervously. "Um, well, you see…"

"Botan-san…?"

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. I noticed she wore a pink kimono that matched her eyes well. "You're in Spirit World."

I stared at her. "Am I dead?"

"See, that's the doozy, we're not sure."

"How can you not know if I'm dead?"

"Well, your heart stopped. If you were Yusuke, that'd be no problem. But see, because you're just a human with spirit energy and no demon bloodline, the fact that you are alive but without a heartbeat just isn't normal."

"I'm a zombie then?"

"Oh no! Silly!" She giggled into her sleeve. "Zombies are mindless eating machines. You're just a unique case that Koenma-sama is looking into. Oh! That reminds me. You're supposed to meet with him as soon as you're awake!" She gestured exuberantly. "Come with me!"

I hopped off the bed and did as she said. She led me to a large set of doors and walked through them. Like a ghost. She popped back over and gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry! Keep forgetting to open the doors." She then opened the oversized doors while walking forward. I followed her to a large desk. The back of a chair was facing me.

"I've brought her, Koenma-sama."

"Ah, good." The chair turned around. A toddler in a pill hat with a pacifier stared me down. I would have laughed if it weren't for the sharp intelligence I could see in his eyes. "Utsuda, Nariko. I've been reviewing your case. I would seem you're quite the enigma."

"I mean no offense, but…where is Suuichi?"

"He, Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Yukina are in the waiting room. You'll be allowed to see them shortly. I'm a bit more interested in your background, Nariko." He said, leaning forward onto his elbows. "Kurama's told me quite a bit about his suspicions toward you. Tell me, have you ever had past-life flash backs?"

"I've had dreams about being someone else."

"I see. How do they go?"

"I'm dying in them."

He frowned. "Interesting. Is that all you ever do?"

"Sometimes I'm running from who kills me. I dreamed once about…" I blushed and looked away. "Well, to be honest, about Suuichi's alternate persona, Yoko and I…in that other form…"

Botan giggled softly into her sleeve. "Oh my…"

Koenma coughed into his hand. "I see. Well, I suppose that might make sense. Anything else?"

I shook my head. "No. That is it."

"Hmmmm…usually reincarnations have vivid flash backs to their life before or even remember themselves fully. I'm surprised you've only dreamed of specific events."

"So I'm a reincarnation then?"

"That's what the evidence points to."

"Am I Harui or am I Nariko?"

He rested his chin on his pudgy little hands. "I wish I could answer that for you, Nariko. The truth is, that's something you'll have to figure out on your own."

"I understand."

"Now, can you explain to me what you were doing exactly before you blacked out?"

I recalled the events for him. I explained in full detail about the paper and how I'd removed it. His eyes widened quite a bit before he sat back with a puzzled expression.

"Well, that is new."

"What is, sir?" Botan asked. I was relieved I didn't have to ask the question.

"I haven't heard of a sealed spirit before. I'm going to have to research this more fully. Until then, Nariko…I deem you as harmless. You are welcome to return to your friends in the lobby."

The word harmless stung a bit, but I took the pass. I bowed respectfully and followed as Botan led me toward the lobby. She was chattering on endlessly over everything and nothing at all. If tested on the subject matter, I would have failed. I entered the lobby and crossed to Suuichi. He was clearly concerned as he met me halfway.

"How are you feeling?"

"Confused and really tired."

"She's cleared to go home. Koenma-sama's looking into some things and then he'll hopefully get back to us soon." Botan piped up.

Yusuke sighed and rolled his eyes. "What else is new?"

"Oh, come on Yusuke! Koenma-sama's got a lot he has to deal with now that Yama-sama has been forcefully resigned."

That name. Yama. It triggered something in me. A deep rooted anger spread through me. I hated him. I couldn't understand where it came from, but it rushed over me like an ocean's wave crashes over a boulder at a cliff's edge. I turned to Suuichi. I needed to leave. He read my face and bid Botan goodbye. We left the lobby to enter a smaller room. I stared at the swirling mass before me. It looked like a door, but with a fluctuating surface.

"It's a portal back home. Trust me." Suuichi held his hand out to me. I took it and nodded. We stepped through. It tickled and dropped us as though we'd stepped off a curb into a dark alleyway. Once everyone was through, the portal closed as if it'd never been there.

"That was cool." I stated and smiled. It actually had been pretty neat, if not weird. Suuichi laughed. We bid everyone good night and headed home. I was surprised to find the alleyway we'd stepped out into wasn't too far from the house. Once safely inside, I breathed in deeply. "It almost feels like it's been weeks since I was here."

"Only two days."

I winced. "What did I miss?"

"I excused your absence from work. You have the flu." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "In fact, it would be no surprise if I contracted it as well."

"Ah, I see." I smiled at him, relieved that I had him. I couldn't have faced this kind of life without him. That realization was almost enough to take my breath away. When did I come to depend on someone other than myself? It didn't matter. I was just happy I had someone to lean on other than Keiko.

…..

I woke in a cold sweat. My sheets were clinging to me. I looked around my room. My eyes found the reason for my disturbance. Two glowing red eyes glared at me through my bedroom window. A figure stood in the tree. I shivered and reached for the lamp. As soon as my room was bathed in light, I looked back. He was gone. I threw the covers from my legs and darted from my room. I reached Suuichi's door and drew up short. I stared at his door, suddenly not sure what to do. Fear and panic had led me here. I was pretty sure the figure in the tree had been this Hiei person I'd heard about. He was friends with the others, so he wouldn't hurt me…right? Well, with the exception of breaking my hand. I raised my hand to knock only to drop it. I repeated the motion several times before burying both hands in my hair.

"Just come in, Nariko." Suuichi's voice came from the other side of the door. I opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

"How did you know?"

"Your energy flares when you're upset." He sat up and patted the mattress. I closed the door and crossed the room. I ignored the fact that I was rather indecent wearing just a t-shirt and underwear. I crawled up beside him and curled up beside him. He settled back down and wrapped his arms around me. "What's bothering you?"

"I woke up to see someone in the tree. Glaring at me with glowing red eyes."

He sighed tiredly. "That would be Hiei. Try to ignore him."

"I kind of figured after my panic led me to your door."

"He knows you are not to be harmed. Like Keiko, you are protected and untouchable."

"I'm sorry for waking you."

"You didn't wake me. I couldn't seem to sleep."

"What kept you up?"

He fell silent. I shifted and looked at his face. I caught the rare unguarded Suuichi. Pain and sorrow was etched deeply into his face. "Memories."

I felt my heart clench for him. I knew what he was remembering. I didn't want him to feel it anymore. That's what possessed me to rise onto my knees and kiss him. He sighed into my lips and pulled me close. I felt it when we both gave in to one another. Our hands wandered each other while our tongues danced frivolously. I pealed my shirt off and threw it to the floor. I slowly pulled his pajama bottoms off and was pleasantly surprised to find that he didn't wear underwear beneath them. I tugged my underwear off and leaned back over him, kissing along his jawline. I settled over him and reached between us to sheath him with my hand. I stroked him slow and gently. His eyes fluttered as he groaned. His lips found my breasts. I teased him with just barely pushing onto him before pulling away. Each time, his eyes flashed at me hungrily. I knew he was allowing me control this once. I pushed onto him and positioned myself on my knees before slowly impaling myself on him. We both made sounds of pleasure as I slid all the way down on him. I sat on him in the swath of moonlight. The way it caught his red-hair made it look alive and almost as if it was fire. I reached and touched his cheek. He turned his face to kiss my palm. My heart swelled as I sat there, fit snugly onto him. I set my left hand on his chest and rose slowly until he almost slipped out of me. I then fell back onto him. I bit my lip and repeated the motion. His hands found my hips and urged me faster. I conceded to his will. I rotated my hips, gyrating against him. We set a slow, sweet, torturous pace. I stared into his bright green eyes while I made love to him. I didn't screw him. And I don't think I ever would again. I wanted to etch myself inside his heart for eternity. There in his room, in the moonlight, while I made love to Suuichi…I felt more alive than I'd ever felt before. He took control and rolled us over so that he hovered over me. He pulled my hand up to his face and kissed each fingertip while he thrust deep inside of me. He then pressed his lips to mine and kissed me breathless while our hips rose and crashed like waves against each other. I felt my release building and when it rushed me, I cried into his lips. He thrust a few more times before he filled me with his blindingly hot seed. He moved to pull out. I locked my ankles around him and pulled him back flush with me. We parted from our kiss to pant. I pulled his head to my chest and ran my fingers through his hair as he'd done for me when I was upset. He sighed and rested his cheek against my breast. It wasn't long before I fell asleep cradling him. As I drifted off into sleep, I could have sworn I heard him whisper something that I didn't catch.

So...yeah. More smuttiness. Hahaha! I'll be updating this again in the soonish, nearish future! Working on SPtL's next chapter and then will work on the next chapter here! Thanks for your support! Let me know what you think!

Erika Hearken