Sound Guy: Dan-da-da-da-daaaaaaaaaan.

Author: Hey, what's the music for?

Sound Guy: K-made-it-to-chapter-10.

Author: Well yes, but why is that a reason to celebrate?

Sound Guy: K-only-5-more-chapters-to-go.

Author: Well, no not technically, I only promised we would have at least 15 chapters, way back in chapter one.

Sound Guy: K-dang!

Narrator: Hey, what the heck kind of a sound is K-dang?

Author: Look it's the only way the poor guy can speak.

Narrator: So? He doesn't have any rights! You created him out of thin air, remember?

Author: Well actually, it was kind of stuffy in there.

Narrator: Oh shut up!

Author:…

Narrator:….

Author:….aren't you supposed to say something here?

Narrator: No this is the bit where you tell me to get on with the story already.

Author:….oh….wait…GET BACK TO WORK ALREADY YOU LAZY SLOBS!

Narrator: And so, our heroes decide that Anakin will ride in his spare parts pod in the upcoming pod race. Meanwhile, Qui-gon had caught the gambling fever, and, after subsequently betting his ship, clothes, kidney and grandchildren's souls, he finally agreed to head home.

Qui-gon: So, let me see, if Anakin wins…. I win Anakin.

Jar-jar: Watta yousa want him for?

Qui-gon: *strokes beard attempting to look wise* One can never have too many slaves my young padawan.

Jar-jar: Eh?

Qui-gon: Oh, wait, wrong idiot, never mind.

Narrator: Hey guys, can we stick to the storyline a bit here, I'd like to get us back to Naboo before chapter 15.

Qui-gon: But why the heck would we want to go there?

Narrator: Something to do with the droid army killing people there, the queen will end up trying to do something brave and heroic.

Author: ENOUGH ALREADY! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SPOILERS! *shoots Narrator*

Narrator: Ooh, raspberry juice…..mmm tastes a little weird…..*dies*

Author: Now where's that dratted machine….*throws stuff around in spare room*

Sound Guy: CRASH SMASH tinkle tinkle MRREEEEAAAAAAAW!

Author: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET OFF ME YOU STINKING CAT!

Sound Guy: K-BLAM!

Author: *emerges from room sweating profusely & towing a large machine*

Here we are, this should do just fine *presses button*

Narrator: well hey!

Author: Here's the script, now just get on with it already.

Narrator: *sniff* Hmmmmph fine. Ahem, and so, with quite a lot riding on the line, including a jedi kidney, the pod race to decide the fate of the universe, or at least dinner, began tomorrow.

Author: What kind of grammar is that, 'began tomorrow' a past tense & a future/present tense word right next to each other? Her Dictatorness Mrs. Lawton would flunk you for that!

Narrator: So? I've only been here 5 minutes and I can already tell this story sucks.

Author: Shut up! Seriously, why do you narrators always have to be the same? Do you realize that this is the only chapter in this entire book where absolutely NOTHING has happened?

Narrator: Well, actually, I think a bit less happened in the first chapter.

Author: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Just get to the freaking pod race already!

Narrator: Okay okay okay. Dawn soon came.

Sky: *dark*

*still dark*

*rather conspicuous lack of light*

Author: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?

Narrator: Well, seeing as Tattooine is a planet with two suns, there will come a time when both suns are on the opposite side of the world, causing a rather conspicuous absence of light.

Author: BUT I NEED LIGHT FOR MY POD RACE SCENE!

Narrator: Well, why don't you create some stupid accident that causes enough natural light for the race to happen?

Author: Like what?

Narrator: I dunno, maybe something like, 'a giant space rhino smashes the ball into the outfield and sprints as hard as he can, barely makes it safe to third before sliding home with all the grace and poise of a pregnant hippopotamus on steroids, causing a spectator to throw his sunglasses up in the air/vacuum of space thingy, and reflecting enough light to blow up a spaceship, whose radioactive contents bathe the sky of Tattooine green, and cause enough natural light for the pod race to run.'

Author: Ok, do it.

Narrator: Seriously? If you didn't notice, that was kinda stupid.

Author: Look, I don't have much choice here.

Narrator: Ok ok, here we go. In a stunning turn of events, a giant space rhino smashes the ball into the outfield and sprints as hard as he can, barely makes it safe to third before sliding home with all the grace and poise of a pregnant hippopotamus on steroids, causing a spectator to throw his sunglasses up in the air/vacuum of space thingy, and reflecting enough light to blow up a spaceship, whose radioactive contents bathe the sky of Tattooine green, and cause enough natural light for the pod race to run.

Author: Brilliant!

Narrator: Yes, so with the toxic downfall predicted to kill everyone in two days, it suddenly becomes far more important for Anakin to win, so that the Jedi can get their parts and escape to Corescaunt. Until next time, this is your friendly narrator, bringing you whatever our (not so) benevolent creator thinks up.

Until next time folks, don't bother staying tuned but just hope for the best