A/N: And the angst begins...

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Emma gave herself a good hard stare in the bathroom mirror. And she liked what she saw.

Killian liked her hair best when it was down. For someone who could have been thought to prefer darker features of the opposite sex, Emma found it amusing that he obviously had a thing for her blonde long locks. His fingers had a way of always slipping around a curl or two…

She hadn't realized before them that he had bad been a leg man, but it had become obvious fairly early. His hand had a way of traveling the path up and down her leg. Sometimes it was slow- she liked when it was slow. It was those times when her she wished that he would just continue his path upwards. Why would he go any higher?

It the two years that she'd known him, she thought that he had been none the wiser of the woman behind the exterior. How quickly she had found out that that wasn't the case…

So Emma would wear her hair down tonight. She would wear one of best form-fitting dresses that showed off just enough leg that he seemed to enjoy. She would look beautiful for Killian tonight.

Not that it was any more special than the other nights they had spent together. It was just that things were moving rather smoothly. All except for that one small task of informing Neal…

It was at the top of her list. If only Emma could be one-hundred percent sure that Killian wouldn't turn tail and run at the prospect of having everything out in the open. She loved him. He knew that. He loved her. They both knew that. So honesty was the only thing that was going to make the situation better. Not ignoring the truth.

Emma heard her phone from the other room. The ring informed her that it was a call and not a text message.

She gave herself one more quick glance in the mirror before she left the bathroom to find it.

Was it Killian? Was he calling to check up on when she would be ready?

No, it wasn't Killian.

"What's up, Ruby?" she asked, answering the call immediately. It wasn't Killian, which made her wonder just how important this call actually was.

"You tore out of this place without giving me the chance to even say goodbye."

Emma smiled to herself at her friend's description. It was an exaggeration. Although Killian had been waiting on her…

"There was a lot I had to take care of, that's all," she said as she made her way across the bedroom.

"Yeah? I was wondering about that."

It was Ruby's tone, an accusatory sound Emma thought, which gave her pause.

"What?"

There was a moment of silence on her friend's end. And then she heard the slight huff. She could just imagine Ruby's face. Big brown eyes giving her a side-glance.

"Was that… Killian that I saw waiting in the parking lot for you? Is he the one who greeted you with this long and intimate-looking hug?"

Emma caught her own eyes in the dresser mirror. Ruby had seen.

"Because I thought I saw you hop into the car and speed off together."

It was more than just her words. It was her tone. It was as if she questioned everything that she had seen. And it was as if she wanted more.

Emma laughed into the phone. "Why do you sound as if there is something more to what you saw?"

"Do I sound like a horrible friend?" Ruby asked. "Because maybe I do. I know you guys are really good friends. So maybe I feel a little bit horrible about even having the thought cross my mind."

"What thought is that?" Emma asked. She heard the thickness of her voice.

Standing there, all dressed up for him, Emma listened to one of her best friends try to put into words what was happening between herself and Killian.

She couldn't tell her. She couldn't come clean with Ruby when she hadn't even told Neal.

She heard the tsk from Ruby. There would have been an eye roll that accompanied that sound.

"I was thinking how, all of a sudden, you two are spending a hell of a lot more time together. Which is really saying something, Emma. And how this new routine of him picking you up just to drop you back off some hours later to pick up your car may actually mean something."

The silence inside the apartment seemed to be broken by something outside of the bedroom. Or was it her imagination, she wondered as her attention turned outside the door. Pulling the phone away from her ear she listened closer. And… nothing.

Hm…

"Ruby, what do you want me to say?" Because she couldn't say…

"If it was a one-time thing, or maybe even a couple of times, then I would get it," Ruby said wistfully. "But this has been going on for a couple of weeks now."

"So… even though you acknowledge the fact that Killian and I have always been close, it is now… what… suspicious that we are spending more time together because you see him after work?" It should have been skeptical. Emma should have not only been putting doubt in her mind, but assuring her that she was wrong.

"Uh… yeah." Ruby huffed off a laugh. Emma guessed she had been unsuccessful in her attempt. "Unless you guys are being… secretive with a purpose. Like maybe planning some huge surprise for Neal and have decided to keep it hush. But I don't think that's what is happening here. Those hugs, like I said, look pretty intimate."

"Our hugs look intimate, Ruby?"

Maybe she let her guard down too much on those days after work. It had become their routine. Killian picking her up was logical in their minds. It had given them even more time to be together.

"You think that I'm the only one who thinks so?" Ruby asked her.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not the only one who sees these things, Emma. There are windows." She laughed at that. "Everyone who wants to see gets to see."

"So are you saying that you, as my friend, think that I am sleeping with Killian?" Because she wasn't sleeping with Killian…

"Are you having an affair?" There was no more time to beat around the bush. The question sounded as if she were in disbelief, but also intrigued. Emma heard a smile in her voice.

"Ruby, I… can't… not now… I can't talk to you about this."

"Oh my God." The fun and games had left her tone. "Emma. Emma? Are you having an affair? With Killian?"

She hadn't expected the nervousness. She hadn't expected it to be something hard to admit.

"Ruby… I… I love Killian."

"What in the hell is going on?"

The words made the phone slip instantly from her fingers as she spun around, eyes wild and wide at the quiet and calm voice entering the bedroom.

He stood in the doorframe, eyeing her with a mixture of disbelief, mistrust, and anger.

"What the hell are you doing here?" It was the first thing that she asked. It was the wrong thing.

Things were going from bad to worse. And it was happening all of a sudden and all too quickly. She could roughly make out Ruby's voice from the phone on the floor. And it made Emma wonder how much of her side of the conversation Neal had been able to hear from the doorway.

His eyes narrowed on hers as he stood there, unmoving.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Not overhearing a conversation. It was supposed to be her, sitting him down, being gentle but firm about what and how she felt. It wasn't supposed to be a surprise encounter on her end.

"I got off work early."

"You were supposed to be doing some overtime tonight."

Neal's eyes widened at that. He took a small step forward as he watched her.

"Is that why you're all dressed up, Emma?" The whisper was soft. His face scrunched in a way that showed nothing but pain and disbelief. "Were you going out tonight since I would be at work most of the night?" His shoulder lifted in a shrug. "You do look beautiful by the way."

It had all been for Killian. Was it just minutes ago that she was nearly floating at the thought of their night together?

"Neal," she whispered, watching him move all the closer to her. "What did you hear?" Because she needed to know what she was supposed to do.

She saw the wheels turning in his head. She saw the connections that he was putting together all on his own with the little that he had overheard.

"Were you planning to go out with Killian while I was at work?" She watched the clenching of his hands into fists at his side.

"Neal." She had nothing to combat the situation.

His face, as his eyes travel the length of her, looked ugly and disgusted,

"You're cheating on me? Killian? Are you… cheating on me… with Killian."

"Neal-"

"God dammit, Emma! Answer me!"

The fire in his eyes intimidated her. It wasn't supposed to be like this…

"Answer me!" The muted roar left his mouth the same time he crept towards her.

Emma didn't move. She felt the slack of her mouth growing wider as if she knew she was supposed to say something. But it was the anger that stop her.

And then it was the hurt. As her silence accompanied by only the shake of her head made him stop in his tracks. She watched as he stood stock still, his gaze locked on hers. And then she watched as his fingers fisted in his hair and he crumpled into a pile on the floor.

"Did you cheat on me with Killian, Emma?"

Her eyes blinked rapidly at the sound of his hoarse scream.

"I…"

It was seeing the sheer pain that did her in. She didn't want to admit it. Not like this. She didn't want to hurt him like this.

"It's not what you're thinking, Neal," she finally got out.

He didn't look up at her. His arms covered his head as he crouched down in front of her.

"I didn't sleep with Killian, Neal," she continued, her own voice hoarse with emotion.

He was slow to look up at her. The hurt was being obscured by the sheer madness in those eyes.

"I heard you, Emma. Are you really going to deny it? Are you going to really stand there and deny it?" He was slow to stand back up. There was a shakiness in his movements. But his eyes locked on hers. "You told Ruby… that…you love him. You fucking love Killian?"

He turned his head away from her, a growl thundering from his throat.

"Neal."

The lamp sitting on his dresser was pick up and snatched from the wall. The loud crash of glass was mingled with his roar. She watched as the shards of glass splattered and ran across the floor.

"Bitch."

Why hadn't she prepare herself for a volatile confrontation? Why hadn't this even crossed her mind?

Emma watched as he stalked back to the door. She watched as both hands grasped at that door and how he slammed it forcefully against the wall, the banging almost stinging her ears.

"Neal, wait." She scurried across the room so that she could catch up with him.

More banging on his way down the hall. Emma looked from him to the walls. At least one of those punches was surely going to go through the wall…

"Neal, wait."

He turned on her quickly, his eyes just as fierce.

"What did you do, Emma?" He was in her face this time, his heaving chest meeting hers. "What have you been doing, while I've been working… trying to support us?" Those fingers turned into fist again at the side of his face. "What have you been doing with my best friend?"

She felt her heart pounding out of her chest. It was the pain and the hurt that she had suddenly caused. It was the way he watched her with a fire blazing that made her hurt to.

Maybe she'd made the wrong choice. Maybe…

"And you stand there saying nothing, Emma!" Neal barked at her. "I trusted you! I trusted you with my best friend! And you stand there saying nothing about what you have been doing!"

"I'm… I'm sorry, Neal."

His hands shot out to either side of him, slamming forcefully into the wall.

Emma took a step back, she moved away from the anger and the hurt.

"Say something else, Emma," he screamed at her.

"I… We didn't sleep together, Neal," she whispered, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Are you telling me you are not having an affair with Killian like Ruby said you were?"

It was an affair. They hadn't wanted it to be. They had wanted it to mean something more than just that. But now…

"No, that's not what I'm saying," He deserved to have her look into his eyes, so she did.

Neal's own gaze relaxed, taking a careful look at her demeanor.

"That fucking son of a bitch." The deep murmur was followed by a string of curses as he moved again. Neal stalked down the hall, disappearing into the living room.

Damn. Killian. This wasn't how this was supposed to come out. She hadn't warned him. And now Neal looked like he was on a rampage.

She heard the crash of what sounded like more fists to the walls. With a heavy sigh, she moved towards the living room herself.

Emma silently thanked whoever that the living room wasn't full of knickknacks. There wouldn't be a lot of things to break like the lamp in the bedroom.

"How long?" Neal swiftly turned around to face her once again. That turn brought him to pace back in her direction. "How long has this been going on? Did he come on to you? Tell me what he did, Emma."

He was trying to put it all on Killian…

"Killian… didn't do… anything," she told him with a firm shake of his head. "It wasn't Killian."

She saw the hard swallow that he took as he moved even closer to her.

"What are you-"

"It was me, Neal," she finally confessed. "Not Killian. I approached Killian."

It was raw pain that covered his face- that covered his entire self.

"Why would you?" His hand reached out towards her, falling just over her wrist. "Why would you do this, Emma?"

What answer did she have for him, as he held onto her as if she were his lifeline?

"Everything I did- everything that I do- is to make you happy," he told her, sounding truly perplexed at the thoughts running through his head. "I love you, Emma. Why would you do this?"

She took in a deep breath and held it for just a moment.

"It was about me. Not you."

"Killian?" It was achingly torn out of him. His best friend. "What was it?" His head shook emphatically as he watched her. "You say it was you, but apparently you weren't happy with me."

"It wasn't that, Neal," she whispered, stepping even closer to him. She was supposed to tell him that she loved Killian, but that's not what came out. "Neal, I do… love you."

The corners of his mouth turned up.

"That wasn't too difficult for you to admit, was it, Emma?" His hand fell from her wrist. "What in the hell is going on Emma? Really."

It wasn't so easy to be frank with him. Not the way she had always believed.

"We didn't sleep together, Neal," she said calmly, feeling anything but. "You have to believe me about that."

"But whatever you did it's something you consider as cheating?" he yelled at her, his eyes burning. "So why don't you stop trying to sugarcoat it and tell me what you did."

Her eyes darted over him. Everything he was experiencing was valid.

"I have feelings for Killian." It rushed out of her, even though she knew it pained him. "I've had feelings for Killian for a very long time now. I didn't know he felt the same way."

Neal's hands came up to hardly grip at his face. The expletives that left his mouth from underneath those hands were harsh and ugly.

"Like I said," Emma continued, wanting to get it out and over with, "we have not slept together. But I have to be honest with you, Neal. I do have feelings for Killian. And I can't help how I feel about him."

She hadn't expected the tears that sprung to his eyes. It only made her feel all the worse. Two years. Why didn't she realize how painful this was going to be before this moment?

"I trusted him with you," Neal mumbled from behind those hands. "You two were supposed to be friends- nothing more. I trusted you both. I trusted you two to be around each other. I never thought…"

"Then maybe that was the wrong thing to do," she whispered.

Neal's eyes narrowed on hers. "Are you honestly saying that I was in the wrong to believe in you? That it was because I trusted you that this happened?"

"I already said that it was my fault," Emma reminded him. "Mine. Not Killian's. Not yours. It was mine."

He shook his head again as he took a step back from her.

"I cannot believe you." He hung his head in his hands. She could see the tears as they fell from his face.

She would have rather dealt with the anger. Seeing the ache and the pain pouring out of him was almost too much for her.

"Neal." And it was breaking her heart. Two years. She had loved him in those two years. She had just fallen in love with someone else. Neal didn't deserve this.

"I'm sorry." It was a broken apology that hurt so much to make. Emma moved then quickly, moving closer to him. Her arms raised timidly, not knowing how he was going to receive her.

She was surprise when his arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. His quiet cry tugged at her own emotions, and she felt the tears brimming her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Emma held on to him tight. Everything she had done. He didn't deserve this. What she deserved was his anger, and yet he was holding her.

It was only a moment longer. The light cries became silent.

"I have to get out of here," Neal murmured thickly, pushing her away from him. "I can't do this right now. Not right now."

He was backing away from her, putting distance between them.

"Where are you going?"

"Are you worried I'd go after Killian, is that it?" Neal asked raspily.

It had been her initial thought…

"He's waiting on you, right?" His eyebrow shot up in wonder. "Was tonight going to be the night that you did it, Emma? Were you going to sleep with him while I stayed at work for some overtime?"

Her frown was deep. His words cut, even when she knew she had no right to feel that way.

"That's… not true."

"But fair to suggest, right?" Neal nodded his head at her. "Yeah, Emma. I'm done with this conversation with you."

He didn't say anything after that. He made a quick scan of the room as he walked passed her. He only stopped to scoop up his wallet and keys from where he'd left them on the couch.

"Neal." Because maybe she should try again…

His answer was a hard shake of his head. Nothing else.

And what else could Emma do about it? Her eyes blinked as she watched the door swing open and the shut loudly behind him.

What just happened?

Killian.

She didn't trust the emotions and feelings that were coursing through Neal. His reaction had varied throughout. Would he…

Emma ran back towards the bedroom. It was where she had dropped the phone when Neal had surprised her. She had been talking to Ruby.

How long ago had that been? It felt like an eternity standing there. But it also felt as if everything had swooped down on her so fast and in a blink of an eye, without any warning at all.

The phone was where she remembered dropping it on the floor, face-up.

If Neal went to see Killian… She didn't know how prepared any of them were for that.

Ruby?

The seconds were still ticking away on the conversation.

"Why didn't you hang up?" she asked her.

"Emma? Why would I hang up? We were talking, then all of a sudden you were gone."

"Well… something came up," Emma told her slowly. "I need to make a phone call, Ruby."

"Oh my God, that was Neal that I heard, wasn't it?" Ruby asked excitedly. "Did he hear what you said about Killian? Is that were you were fighting about? Oh my God, Emma, are you okay?"

"Ruby, not now." Emma took in another deep and steadying breath. "I'll have to talk to you later."

"Are you sure? I can come over, Emma, if you want me to."

"No. No. Ruby, I really really have to get off the phone." She loved her friend, but she really didn't have time for the questions that she was asking.

"Okay. Just promise to call me back. There is a lot that we have to talk about."

"I'll… I'll talk to you later." Emma couldn't make promises like that. Her mind was somewhere else completely. "Bye, Ruby."

"Goodbye, Emma."

She had heard the reluctance in Ruby's voice. She knew that detaching herself from the situation was the last thing that she wanted to do. And it wasn't only because she wanted gossip. She was a true friend who had wanted to help.

But it was Neal and Killian who was occupying Emma's mind. For some eerie reason, she knew that his hurt and anger would lead him over to that apartment.

He was hurting enough as it was. She didn't want those emotions to influence what he'd do there.

Her hands were shaking, she noticed as she looked down at Killian's number.

It was all her fault. Everything was all of her fault. This was exactly what he had tried to warn her about. And now… now it was becoming out of her hands.

The phone rang and rang. If he didn't answer the phone.

"Hello."

It should have been a relief, but instead her head began to pick up speed again.

"Killian." It was shaky, and she felt her knees give out of her.

"Emma?"

She found herself on the floor, and pain creeping throughout her.

"Killian, he knows."