Still don't own mortal instruments :( Guess it's just not meant to be :p
I could summarize my Sunday in 3 words: sleep, stress and evasion…
After Jace had left, I expected that it would take me hours to fall asleep. My brains were overproducing the craziest thoughts and the hormones that were racing through my veins, weren't exactly helping either… Luckily I still had enough alcohol in my body to numb me enough to fall fast asleep. Only, I was still haunted by monsters of the past that turned my dreams into fearful nightmares, causing me to wake up with a start, breathing heavily and covered in sweat of fear.
I knew that a serious amount of sleep deprivation wasn't exactly the best way to start a new school year (I heard that zombie-style was só last year) so I decided to fill my entire Sunday with short naps, interrupted by little panic attacks when I started to think about the next day. I've never liked Mondays in general, but a Monday that included my first day of school in an entire knew place, well that Monday was just doomed…
Over the day, Izzy had made several attempts to spend some time with me, trying to calm me down, but at long last, I was able to convince her that I just needed some time for myself. She promised to make sure that no one would bother me, and I believe she took that task pretty seriously, since I didn't see anybody that day (dinner excluded ofcourse…). It hadn't been my intention, but a positive side effect of Izzy's steadfastness was that I didn't have to face Jace, even though he had tried to talk to me several times. The last time he had tried, I heard Izzy scream so loud against him that I even felt guilty for a moment… Cause, in fact he hadn't done anything wrong… He only confused me… In particular, everything that was going on between us confused me. Since I had met Jace, my life felt like a rollercoaster on the loose, and I needed to slam the brakes before I completely lost track. Just a moment to decide what I needed to do, that's all I needed. Yet I couldn't shake off my feelings of guilt about Jace, so after 10 minutes of doubt, I finally decided to send him an apology. Up till now, he had never treated me unfairly, so I thought that he deserved at least some explanation. I took my phone, and for the first time since he had given his number to me, I sent him a text.
Sorry for my pit bull, she's pretty devoted to her task...
I just need some time to think… Don't take it personal
I hope you're not angry :/ See you later
C.
I pressed "send" and let myself fall onto my bed. I needed to stop thinking, because it felt like my brain was going to explode, so I took my headphone and pressed play. I put the volume so high that I couldn't even hear my own thoughts anymore, closed my eyes and let myself be carried away by the music that blasted into my ears.
Jace's POV
I hit the punching bag, again and again and again. My body was covered in sweat, my knuckles were raw despite the protecting boxing gloves, and every inch of my body begged for rest. However, I wasn't planning to stop, pushing my body and my mind to the edge. The only thing that kept me going, was my rage. Towards Izzy, who refused to let me talk to Clary. Towards Clary, who refused to let me close to her. Towards my past, that refused to let me go. And towards my future, that refused to let me live. I struck the punching bag even harder, trying to block out every single thought. Only then, a loud buzz resounded in the room. Heavily breathing, I stopped the punching bag that was swinging back and forth and looked around, finding my phone on the couch. I untied my gloves and throw them on the floor as I looked at the screen. It seemed that I had received a text from an unknown number, but I didn't really paid attention to that fact. It wasn't the first time that some girl had obtained my number via some friends and wanted to catch my attention. I opened the message only loose interested in the content, until I caught the sender of the message: C.
Sorry for my pit bull, she's pretty devoted to her task...
I just need some time to think… Don't take it personal
I hope you're not angry :/ See you later
C.
I read her text again and again, an idiotic smile plastered on my face: she sent me a text, so at least she wasn't planning on ignoring me forever… Right? "Don't take it personal". It seemed like she already knew me too well… I had immediately thought that this was all about me, that I had done or said something wrong and that she was upset about it, but maybe I just needed to put my ego aside for a moment. All of a sudden it struck me as lightning. "I just need some time to think… ". Of course! I'm such an egocentric bastard! This was about her dad! He had died only six weeks ago, and even though she never talked about it, I knew that his death weighted on her shoulders. Sometimes I caught a flash of utter pain in her eyes, as if the emptiness was destroying her from within… But every time, she hid that look swift as an arrow after that wall of hers, so I was never sure that it wasn't just my imagination…
I tried to find something to answer to her text, but everything I came up with sounded lame and meaningless. By the angel, it seemed more like a problem of national interest than an answer to a friend! Finally, after more than fifteen minutes of doubting, I eventually found a somewhat fitting answer. I still wasn't sure about it, but I wasn't able to come up with anything better.
Of course I'm not mad! I get it Clar, don't worry about it.
Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)
BTW do you think your pit bull would let me in if I gave her some fancy clothes?
J.
Clary's POV
I checked my phone almost every minute, waiting for Jace's answer. As the minutes passed by, my unrest continued growing. Maybe he was offended by my temporarily "rejection"? Or maybe he didn't even cared? Finally I received a text, and I took a deep breath and did another week attempt to convince myself that I did not care about his answer. Even though I knew that it was just a last effort to protect myself against the pain in case he didn't want to talk to me again.
Of course I'm not mad! I get it Clar, don't worry about it.
Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)
BTW do you think your pit bull would let me in if I gave her some fancy clothes?
J.
I couldn't believe it! I had kind of treated him like dirt, and he was so … understanding! I silently laughed as I read his joke about Izzy and wondered if he would really try… It sure as hell would give a funny situation, and Izzy would be even angrier than before if he tried to bribe her with some clothes. "Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)". I couldn't help but notice the double floor in his message… That was so typically Jace!
Jace Lightwood! I had never expected you to be a briber! Shame on you! ;p
And thanks for the offer, but I think that mine and yours definition of "distraction" are somewhat different…
C.
The response came quickly…
Yeah, you're right, she will knuckle under faster if I kidnap one of her Louboutins…
Thanks for the idea Red!
And such a shame, you know… I'm pretty sure that you would like my definition…
You clearly have no idea what you're missing ;)
J.
Jace's POV
You really should see a doctor Jace.
This obsession of yours is not healthy anymore … ;d
C.
"This can't be true!" I said to myself as I read the words again. How did she know? Was it so obvious that I was completely crazy about her? I mean, I thought that I had been subtle? I quickly sent a text back, nervous about her anwer…
And what would be the source of my obsession, according to doctor Clary?
J.
The answer came swiftly, making me wonder or she awaited the next message with as much impatience as I did.
I believe they call him "Blondie"…
C.
I smiled relieved as I read it. She didn't presume anything… I quickly reread my messages and noticed that I might have deserved that not-so-subtle put-down about my ego. It was strange how she always triggered my jerk-side: she always made me so… nervous… that I couldn't help but make witty and egocentric comments if she talked to me.
Oh, jeah, that one! I confess! He is indeed completely my type, I'm afraid I can't hide it any longer…
Funny, handsome, sporty, sexy… God, he is just delicious! ;)
J.
Go to bed Blondie, you're talking nonsense…
C.
Only if you keep my company! ;)
J.
In your dreams!
C.
Always Clary, always…
J.
Ugh, you're such a pig!
C.
Love you too, honey ;) Sweet dreams :)
J.
I know this chapter was rather short and rather unexciting :/ But the next chapter will be about their first day of school so… excitement please! :D Hope you still like the story :) I would love it if you gave me your opinion about how you want the story to develop, inspiration is always welcome you know ;p Love you all! xxx N.