Ok so I wrote this over 3 days so I have NO idea what it is like. The last part is slightly rushed and I wrote it half asleep so it is probably rubbish.

Sorry for taking so long to update, I kept starting to and then getting writers block.

So here is chapter 10. Review at the end please. As only like two people told me about the title and said they liked it, Missing Him shall stay the same for now :).

I've edited this slightly since the first time I uploaded it, not much like a few sentences have been added towards the end. Mainly involving Burt so you can reread if you wish, if not it isn't important I guess. :D

Missing Him

Santana decided it was best not to ask anything when Finn and Sam first got back into the car. Sam got in the back and Finn went to get in the front until she gave him a slightly shake of the head and he got in the back as well. She knew Sam would need Finn, and his presence would just help the guy. Plus it'd have felt odd to have Sam in the back and them in the front, like they were his parents taking him back or something. It didn't feel appropriate.

The car was silent the whole was back, Sam looked as though he'd been crying but he was still now, silent. Finn kept giving him quick nervous but caring glances the entire ride home. She'd have asked then what happened but knew Finn would probably tell her later or tomorrow anyway, she could wait.

She slowly pulled the car up outside the Hudmel house and turned around in her seat. Finn didn't know what to do and looked worried as Sam hadn't even seemed to notice that the car had stopped or that he was even really there with them. She looked at Finn and he was giving her a panicked stare, she mouthed "speak to him".

The boy immediately shook his head and mouthed back. "No, what do I even say?" (mouthing is in italics)

Fucking hell Finn. "Just tell him you're home or something."

He licked his lips and looked at Sam again. "Finn just fucking talk to him."

"S-Sam, we're home."

The blonde boy jumped slightly at the noise, it'd been so quiet in the care that Sam probably got distracted enough to be wrapped up in his own thoughts. Probably not the best place for him right now, Santana thought. He glanced at Santana, she gave him a small smile which he returned. It was a smile but sadness and something Santana presumed was anxiety was in his eyes. He was probably anxious of what she thought about him doing what he did.

Finn got out the car and at the sound of the door shutting Sam did the same. As the blonde started walking towards the house door, Finn came to Santana's window.

"Thank you San."

"Finn you don't need to say thank you, you know I'll help."

"I know," he smiled lightly. "I still feel I have to, you've been so great Santana and to think not to long ago I was slightly scared of you."

"Well, I am the queen bitch around here. "

"That's the thing though San, you think you are and you give of the impression you are but you're not. What you've done for me and Sam is proof. You are an amazing and kind person really."

She hated to think it but what Finn said made her glow slightly inside. The dumb bastard.

"Look Finn, I should probably go and Sam is waiting." She looked over Finn's shoulder to see Sam hovering at the bottom of the steps up to the porch; he kept glancing at them nervously. He probably didn't want to go in on his own.

Finn also looked over at Sam. "Yeah you're right. God what do I say?"

"I don't know Finn, you've just got to keep trying and battling through. Bit by bit you're getting the barriers down. It takes time, after all how long have you known me for and how long has it taken you to get to know the real me?"

He nodded his head and turned to walk away.

"Oh and Finn, remember I'm here whenever. Also, when you're ready feel free to tell me everything I'm always here for you. No matter how odd it may seem that you can trust me."

"Thanks, and yeah it would have been odd but now not so much."

They both smiled at each other and then she put her car into drive and slowly pulled away as Finn started walking towards Sam.

Finn didn't know what to say when he got to Sam. He decided it was probably best to say nothing at all and just smile at him and then walk to the door. So he did, Sam however didn't move. Finn turned back round, standing in the doorway. Sam looked slightly petrified, on edge even. He didn't understand why.

"Sam, aren't you coming?"

Sam looked up; tears were still slightly visible in his eyes. Finn wanted to tell him not to cry but he couldn't. He knew that'd just make Sam feel ashamed that he was such a wreck, Finn felt the same while Sam was missing.

"Sam, we want you here. I want you here; in fact I need you here."

He reached out his hand to Sam, offering it to him to hold. Sam however looked at it and then at Finn's face panic again stricken across his beautiful face, it made Sam look so young and this just made Finn realise that his Sam still wasn't back. He realised he never would be, that Sam will always be slightly different but they can work through it and come out better at the other end. He would make sure of it.

"It's ok; you don't have to touch me or anyone. Just come inside, please." He'd decided he wouldn't take it personally anymore; Sam wasn't in his right frame of mind or something like that. He was damaged, a broken Sam, a shattered Sam. It was up to Finn to pick the pieces up and glue them back together, bit by bit no matter how long it takes or how hard it is. He was determined.

Sam looked at Finn and stood for a second before walking towards him, Finn could tell he wanted to hold his hand but just couldn't bring himself to do it. It didn't hurt, if anything it made him even more willing to help.

Once in the hall Finn shouted to his mom that they were home and he walked up to his room followed very slowly by Sam.

"F-Finn."

They'd just got into their room and Finn turned round to see Sam standing in the door way.

"Yeah."

"I-I-I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything, you don't deserve me Finn." His head turned to the floor again and Sam was sinking back into himself. Damn, Finn thought he'd got Sam to open up just a little in the park. This was like a never ending battle. He just wished he knew what to do next.

"Sam, you do deserve me, you deserve the world. You're special to me Sam, you always will be no matter what."

"But how can you even think about me with wanting to just spit on me with disgust Finn?"

Sam had started crying again; Finn didn't know what to say.

"Sam we've been through this, I am not and never will be disgusted by you."

"WELL YOU SHOULD FINN!"

"Why?" He refused to shout, it got them nowhere before and he needed to keep calm. Sam couldn't feel like he couldn't tell him things, if he needed someone who he could just take his hurt and anger out on then Finn was there.

"BECAUSE I'M A DIRTY FUCKING WHORE FINN!"

Those words did hit Finn like daggers, his boyfriend had been a whore. That was hard to think about, horrible to think about but he cannot and will not let Sam know that he is affected by them.

"So, why should that change my feelings towards you?"

"Well why wouldn't it Finn?" Sam almost snarled those words at Finn, it took him by surprise how angry Sam was getting at him. "You should hate me, I've brought nothing but pain to you and now I bring you shame. You shouldn't want me Finn, I don't want you too. I want you to have someone you can be proud of." Tears began to fall down Sam's face in big streams now, the anger had subsided (it wasn't the most appropriate thing to think but Finn couldn't help but want to cheer for using another one of the words Rachel had tried teaching him last year) slightly and had been replaced by a bit of deep depression. Fuck.

"Sam, look at me." He walked forward, originally aiming to cup his face in his hands but instead deciding on just standing in front of him, giving Sam the option to touch if he wants. Sam reluctantly raised his eyes so his beautiful hazel, glimmering eyes looked directly into his own. "I love you, and I don't just want you, I need you. I can't function properly otherwise. I will never be ashamed or embarrassed of you. You make me happy, I wake up and think of you and a great big smile comes on my face that probably makes me look like a goofy dork and I couldn't care less because I have you. Sam this entire summer has been the best of my life because of all the happy memories I've had with you. You make me proud, prouder than anyone can ever imagine. You are so brave Sam, you may not feel so now but you are and you have the strength inside you to be."

Sam just stared into Finn's eyes. Finn saw something flash across Sam's face, it seemed like happiness. Genuine, sweet happiness. Something that Sam probably hadn't felt in a while. The emotion was quickly gone though as Sam staggered backwards slightly and grabbed on the chair. He looked exhausted, Finn didn't blame him. His physical strength still wasn't what it was before and he'd walked a very long way from the school to the park, that on top of a huge lack of sleeping and not eating has made him slightly weak.

"Sam, how about you go to bed? I'll get mom to make you some food and you can eat it later, you look tired."

"Don't fuss over me Finn." Sam protested but still got up and walked towards his bed in a slight daze. He really was tired.

"I'm allowed, you're my boyfriend."

Sam's head turned towards Finn at this, he went to say something but instead just stared. Shaking his head the blonde crawled into his bed and hid under the covers. His back to the door, Finn wished he could just go up behind him and snuggle into his back and wrap his arms around him.

Finn slowly backed into the hallway as Sam's slightly heavy breathing started straight away; it was good to hear him sleep. Hopefully it'd be soundless and not full of nightmares like his nights are.

Finn walked back downstairs and sat on the bottom step and felt like he wanted to scream. He had so many emotions at the surface he was surprised he didn't just burst. He wanted to scream from frustration, smash things with his anger and just cry. Cry until tears wouldn't come any more, cry out his heartache. So he did, the emotions started pouring down his face as sat huddled on the bottom step of the stairs looking like he was five.

Carole had heard some of the arguments from upstairs. He heard what Sam had called himself, she didn't know why he said it but at the moment it didn't matter. Her son was an emotional wreck and needed her.

"Finn honey."

Finn just shook his head and cried into his crossed arms which were now resting on his knees. It made her cry to think her baby was in this state, it had hurt so much to see him when Sam was gone. It killed her to see him like that, like this.

"Finn, baby." She knelt down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He may be a lot bigger than her but she could still take care of him. It was like he was little again. "Come on."

She forced him to stand up and walked him outside into the back yard. She sat him down on the swing bench that Burt had kept from their old place; it didn't swing though because Finn had fell on it once so they just keep it as a bench. She sat him down like she was his carer or something. He looked lost and just sat there staring at the ground.

"Finn, tell me what's going on. I'm not going to force you to; I just want you to confide stuff in me. I'm your mom Finn, you can tell me anything. Anything."

He turned to her; he licked his lips and blinked. He seemed confused, debating with himself whether or not he should say something.

"I don't even know where to start mom." His face screwed up and he started crying again, she pulled him towards her and hugged him into her chest.

"Shhh, its ok Finn."

She felt him shake his head in her arms. "It isn't though mom."

He sniffed and pulled away and looked at her. "I have no idea what to do."

"Maybe I could help Finn."

He looked away and around, again licking his lips. "I don't even know how to tell you."

"You don't have to Finn." She put her hand on his cheeks and wiped away some of his tears. "Just know that I'm here for you, I always will be honey."

He just looked at her for a second. "It's Sam."

"I sort of guessed that Finn, I heard you."

His eyes grew wide. "So you already know?"

"No Finn, I heard you shouting. All I heard was disconnected words, nothing that I could put together."

"Oh," he looked slightly disappointed. Maybe he though if she already knew he'd feel less awkward. "Well urmmm, since Sam's been back things haven't been right."

"Go on."

He licked his lips. "Well Sam's not been himself, you've noticed right. He flinches every time someone touches him, he won't talk, he isn't eating properly, and he barely sleeps the whole night because he is shouting or screaming in his sleep. You had to have noticed?"

"I noticed Finn." She had, she'd talked to Burt about it. They'd decided that if it continued they'd talk to him about it. "Is that the problem?"

"Not really, well part of it." He looked down again. "He told me what happened to him out there."

"He did?" She held his hand to show that he could tell her if he wanted. She had wondered what happened to Sam while he was on the streets.

Finn nodded, "Yeah, he did. But I don't know if I can tell you mom. I don't want to change your view of him."

"Why would it change how I see him?" She was confused, she had no idea what had happened and what Finn was saying wasn't helping. It made her wonder even more and made her concerned.

"He thinks that it'll make everyone see him differently."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah, we sort of had," he sniffed again, "an argument during Glee club. He shouted it out and ran off, that's why we were late home. Santana and I had to find him."

"So everyone in the club knows."

He nodded again.

"What exactly is it Finn?"

He looked at her and looked everywhere around her. "I-I don't know how to say it. He… he made money while on the streets by urmm using certain things."

Finn's voice grew quiet when he finished. She still didn't understand, he'd told her nothing really. "Finn I don't really know what you're saying."

"He-he was a-a-a rent boy mom."

Silence filled the air after Finn's words. He looked down at the floor and wouldn't look at her. God, Sam was a rent boy. She didn't swear, but holy fuck. She couldn't believe he had to go through that, her motherly instincts were wanting her to run up to him and just hug him to death and protect him.

"Don't tell anyone mom. Please, he's ashamed of it. He feels disgusted by it and thinks we'll throw him out." Finn's words brought her out of her own world.

"We aren't throwing him out Finn. He's part of this house now as far as I'm concerned; I've grown to care for him over the summer. Like a third son."

"That'd make things totally awkward."

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

She wasn't sure what Finn but that wasn't the point at the moment. "I wouldn't tell anyone either Finn. I couldn't. He shouldn't feel ashamed either, I understand why he does but he did what he must right?"

"Yes, I've been telling him that but he doesn't listen. It's like he's on constant paranoid alert. That's what we were arguing about he said we'd throw him out and that I deserve better and not a w-whore for a boyfriend. It's for me to decide not him."

Finn said his mini rant so fast he scared himself. His eyes grew wide and he turned to look at his mom. .SHIT. He'd just told her. FUCK!

Carole, wasn't sure if she'd heard right at first. Finn had definitely said boyfriend, not just friend but boyfriend.

"Finn have you got something to tell me?"

"Oh god." Finn was breathing heavily, in a panicked sort of way. He looked petrified.

"Finn are you gay?" She never thought she'd say the words. Finn had always given the impression he was only into girls, he'd been so obsessed over Rachel and Quinn. She was slightly confused and yet his reactions, what he said it made so much make sense. The way Finn acted around Sam during the summer, she'd thought they'd become better than best friends. Obviously it was a lot more than that.

"Mom… I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Finn if you're gay you have nothing, nothing to be sorry about." She needed to let him know that, he must. Admittedly this is all a little overwhelming but he is still her son. He looked down and tears had formed in his eyes.

"How long have you known Finn?"

"I don't know if I'm gay gay. I loved Rachel and Quinn. I still find girls attractive even, but when I'm with Sam it is different. I feel different, I look at him and I just can't think of anyone else." A small smile appeared on his face, it was sweet. She finally realised why Finn had reacted how he had when Sam was missing. She'd had her suspicions then, she knew she just didn't realise.

"Wow, I really am blind."

"What?"

"I knew Finn, I just never realised. So you and Sam?"

"We started seeing each other before summer, it just sort of happened and some of the others found out like Santana and Kurt and then Rachel, Mercedes, Blaine even Quinn did. They were fine with it, they encouraged it even."

"You've been going out all summer?"

He nodded. Jesus, she really did need to learn to pay attention.

"Y-You don't mind that I'm g-gay?"

He looked worried; like that her answer could either make or break him. How could he even ask that?

"Of course I am Finn. If I wasn't I'd be a hypocrite as I love Kurt so much. I don't care what you are Finn, as long as you are happy that is all that matters." She was a little hurt that he hadn't told her sooner, plus she had to admit she'd dreamt of being a grandmother. Those dreams were just dreams though, plus there were things such as surrogates etc. It wasn't the end of that dream, not that Finn would even think about that yet, he'd probably just freak.

Finn smiled. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do Finn. I'm your mother and I love you, no matter what ok."

"Ok." He nodded in that slightly dopey way that made him look slightly infantile in his own charming way. She was so proud of him, he'd grown into such an amazing person, he really had.

"Finn, with Sam it'll take time ok. Maybe we could get him some help, a councillor maybe?"

"I'm not sure if he'd want that, he hates talking to people like that."

"That's ok, just make sure he knows that we're here for him yeah. The whole family."

Finn nodded. "Are you going to tell Burt?"

She considered this for a moment, "I sort of have to Finn. Sam's living in his house and he'll be the only one not to know. He might sense something is not right. But you know Burt Finn; he won't do anything to Sam. But honestly Finn, I think it'd be better if you told Burt. You are his son now, his stepson yes, but still his son. He cares about you and I think he may be hurt if he doesn't hear it from you."

"W-what?" Finn's eye widened at that prospect, he was probably remembering the 'faggy' comments in their old house when Burt shouted at him. Finn was still scared slightly of Burt because of that and seemed to have been trying to make it up to him. The point was though; Burt wouldn't hold that against Finn still, he'd moved on from that. The fact Finn is gay won't make him wonder why he said it. Burt's not like that.

"Finn, Burt's is great. He'll be proud of you and want to help. Look how he is with Kurt. You can trust him."

"Yeah, you're right." He still didn't look convinced.

"I know, but remember Finn I'm here for you whenever you need me. Just talk to Burt ok, I promise it'll be fine."

He smiled again, a small one but it was there. "Thanks mom, you really are the best mom ever."

"I don't know about the best." She chuckled slightly, it wasn't the first time she'd be called the best mom ever or awesome. For some reason Finn's friends often said it. She didn't exactly understand what she did but hey a woman her age takes all the compliments she can get.

Finn hugged her, so much love and warmth on the hug it was overwhelming. She wished she could take the pain away for him, for both of them. She'd have to talk to Burt about all this; (once Finn had told him of course, she didn't believe in outing) she had no idea of how to help them. None.

So there you go there is chapter 10. Reviews would be awesome.