Meredith was anxious and extremely scared, this conversation would either make or break her relationship with Derek. She knew she wasn't going to like any of the excuses Derek provided her with, but she at least deserved to know why he did what he did. She was sat in the kitchen trying to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. She was dressed in a simple jeans and t-shirt combination and her hair was down, cascading around her shoulders. She was counting the split ends in her hair, something she only did to distract herself when she was nervous. She knew she shouldn't be the one to be nervous, she hadn't done anything wrong- it was Derek who should be freaking out. Yet here she was, running through all the possible reasons Derek would give for cheating on her. She couldn't help but worry if it was something she did, although she knew that nothing she could have done would make it okay for Derek to cheat on her. She couldn't stop her worrying though, she wanted so desperately for it to be over and done with, but she also hoped for him never to tell her, so that she could live peacefully. Ignorance is bliss after all. She wondered if Derek was nervous about telling her, if he was he certainly wouldn't show it. As Meredith was contemplating all of this the doorbell rang. It was time.

Meredith took a deep breath to calm herself and then walked towards the front door to let Derek in. He smiled when he saw her, "hi," he said, eyes gazing down on her. "Hi" she replied back quietly, opening the door wider for him to come in. He looked calm, and to anyone but Meredith, they would have believed his facade. She could tell from his almost perfect hair and the slightest furrow of his brow that he too was nervous about this encounter. He walked in, dressed in jeans and a purple jumper, and waited for Meredith to show him the way. He had been to her mother's house before, but only once and very briefly. Meredith guided him to the living room, where he promptly sat down on the sofa. She offered him a drink, always being a good hostess, but he declined and so she sat down on the same couch as him, only on the opposite side. They turned towards each other and said "so" at the same time as one another. They chucked briefly at the synchrony of their actions, Meredith blushing and looking down, whilst Derek just continued to watch her. He lead the conversation, "so I want to start off by saying I love you, and I'm praying to god that what I say today won't change your feelings towards me even more than they've already been changed." Meredith gave a small nod, "so what was your reason for doing it then?" She knew he had two things to explain, the first being why he left New York in the first place, the second why he cheated on her. She realised that the two were interlinked, although she knew the latter was the worse of the two offences. Derek took a deep breath before speaking again, "I thought you cheated on me" he confessed. Meredith's face dropped, she didn't know what to think, she was confused, disappointed, hurt, and most of all, completely outraged. "I know it was stupid of me", he jumped in before she could say anything, "I just managed to convince myself that you had done it, but I know now that you would never do that to me." Meredith turned away from him and put her head in her hands, Derek slid over to her and started rubbing her back to try to comfort her. Meredith stood up to avoid the contact with him, her eyes were watering but she was trying her best not to cry. "How could you ever think I would cheat on you?" Her voice came out angry, and she was glad because she didn't want to be weak in this moment. "Do you know me at all Derek? Three years of marriage and two of dating and you still don't know anything about me! Cheating is the most repugnant, disgusting, and disrespectful things you can do to a spouse, I would never in a million years even think about cheating on you. Do vows mean nothing to you?" She was shouting now, but she took a deep breath to calm herself, "well I guess death really has parted us - the death of this marriage. Please leave." She said calmly. Derek stood up and started to protest, "no please Mer, don't do this, don't give on us." She walked towards the living room door, signalling for him to walk out. "I don't have to, you already did. Now please leave." Derek gave a sigh of defeat, hung his head and walked out. He glanced back at her as he exited the front door, but all he could see was a sliver of her as she closed the front door behind him.

Meredith was heartbroken, she thought Derek was the one person who truly knew her, but clearly that wasn't the case. She wanted to call Mark, but knowing him he was out at some bar picking up a girl he'd only just met. It was for the best though, she needed to learn how to be more independent and to deal with situations like this on her own. She went upstairs, grabbed her phone and started playing all of her favourite sad songs. She jumped in the shower, started washing her hair, but gave up halfway through. She sat down in the shower, with the water still running and her music still playing and just cried. She thought back to the weeks before Derek left New York for Seattle.

It was five o'clock in the morning and Meredith had only just gotten home from work. She was exhausted. Yes, she had had a bit of a nap in an on call room, but straight after that six patients consecutively crashed and she worked hard to revive them. Two of them died, she did everything she could and she had to remind herself that it wasn't her fault. Meredith went straight upstairs to her room, wanting to just collapse into bed and go to sleep, but as she walked in she saw Derek sitting up, seemingly waiting for her. "Hi," he said smiling at her "how was work?" Meredith dumped her stuff on the ground "good" she replied simply, too tired to have a full conversation. She started getting ready for bed. Once Meredith had her pyjamas on and had brushed her teeth she climbed into bed next to Derek. He leaned over for a kiss, so she obliged and gave him a quick peck then she snuggled back into the bed, pulled the covers up and closed her eyes. She felt his hand on her cheek as he slowly caressed it with his thumb, "Mer," he said softly. "Mmmm" was all Meredith could respond, already starting to drift off to sleep. "It's been almost a month" he complained. Meredith turned on her side with her back facing him, trying to get comfortable "tired" she replied as she snuggled further into their bed. Before she knew it she was fast asleep, oblivious to the world around her. By the time she woke up far into the afternoon Derek was gone, despite it being his day off.

Meredith knew she had been distant in their marriage- she had just started a new job for god sake! Derek should have been understanding of that, throughout the years of him stressing and studying for all his exams and all the times he had a freak out over work, she was always there to support him and do whatever he needed. Derek knew how hard it was to be an intern, he of all people should've been understanding. But no, all he did was jump to conclusions. Meredith sighed and pushed her hair off her face. She stood up and turned the shower off. She turned off her sad music and turned on some more empowering music. She was determined not to be a victim, yes she was mad at Derek, madder than she had ever been, and he sure as hell was going to know it. But she wasn't going to mope around feeling sorry for herself. No. She was going to be strong. If her marriage was a sham then she was going to do something about it, she was going to have to get over Derek. She knew it would take time, but the first step was accepting that it was officially over. Derek could not redeem himself from this.

Okay, so I know this is a little short, but don't worry I have a lot planned, just wanted to get this posted before the weekend because I won't have much time to write. And don't fret about the fate of Meredith and Derek, I have a lot of grovelling and grand gestures planned.

I hope this is as good as you all expected, it's been a little harder to jump back into than I thought it would be, so I hope it feels continuous and not different. I may end up re-writing this chapter if I decide I'm not happy with it, I just didn't want to leave you with nothing as I'm going away next week for a while and probably won't be taking my laptop (but will be writing more chapters on my phone).

I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, if you have any feedback (please keep it nice and constructive) or anything you want to happen, let me know and I'll try to implement it into the story. :)

Thanks so much for reading, and please don't forget to review!

girlinabar xxxx