Disclaimer: -sobs- Still don't own anything. It's a sad life, being a Kenshin fan. ;.;

Gag Gifts Galore

By Punch Buggy

Seta Soujiro let out a mischievous giggle as he peeked around the corner of the Juppongatana's base at Mt. Hiei. Apart from April Fool's Day, Christmas was his absolute favorite time of the year. Everyone seemed to have a serene smile on their lips, unlike the rest of the months when Soujiro was the only one who was capable of doing something besides scowling. But there was one small thing that made Christmas even better.

Gag gifts.

Tiptoeing to the edge of Usui's room, Soujiro gently set the nicely wrapped package in front of the door and quickly settled himself behind a large potted plant. The boy calmly waited for the large door to swing open and reveal Usui, who had no doubt heard his attempt to silence his footsteps with that "Shingan" of his.

After not more than a few minutes of crouching, Soujiro heard a low chuckle and instinctively looked up to the ceiling. There the man was; hanging from his weapon with a superior smirk that clearly said "I knew you were there the whole time, sucker".

Soujiro stood up and nonchalantly patted his clothes, sending the man currently hanging from the roof a bright smile. "Ah, so there you are, Usui-san. I was merely dropping off a Christmas gift. I hope you enjoy it."

As the boy walked away, Usui leapt down and picked the present off the floor, his brow furrowing in an attempt to see through the package with his Shingan. No such luck. Usui strolled into his room and shut the door rather loudly, his mouth set in a firm line. What could it be?

The blind man quickly unwrapped the present and felt the surface, noting its fluff texture stretched over a hard base. Even more intrigued, Usui continued to feel around the item and discovered, much to his surprise, that the gift was shaped almost like a deformed human's would be. Legs, hands, feet, arms…they were all there. It even had two large, glassy spheres for what he guessed were eyes, and another sphere (this time made of stuffed fabric) for what appeared to be a nose. Captivated by this strange gift, the man continued to feel around. Finding a button on its left foot, he pushed it.

The imposing figure of Usui unexpectedly jumped as a loud, childish voice echoed through the room.

"AHAHAHA! YOU TICKLED ELMO! AHAHAHAHAHA! THAT TICKLES! DO IT AGAIN!"

He pushed the button again.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN, AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

An amused smile overcame Usui's face as he discovered the joys of the Tickle Me Elmo.

In the west wing, Komagata Yumi picked up a brush and began running it softly through her hair, stopping every so often to untangle a knot that had weaseled its way in during the day. She continued gazing into the mirror, watching the brush slowly ripple through her chestnut stands, smoothing her hair down and giving it a luxurious shine.

Hearing a soft rapping on her door, she slowly stood up and opened the door, coming face to face with a smiling Soujiro.

She raised one elegant brow. "What are you doing here, Boy?"

"Just delivering a gift, Yumi-san. I thought it might help you remember your beauty in years to come," he chirped in response, holding the package out for her to take.

With an irritated scowl, Yumi ripped the present out of Soujiro's hands and roughly slammed the door in his face. Plopping unceremoniously onto her couch, she began to remove the brightly colored wrappings. As the last scrap of paper fell to the floor, Yumi gazed in awe at the shiny piece of technology in her hands.

The little note Soujiro had attached had called it a "camera", and instructed that she look into the lens and push the little silver button to receive something more perfect than any artist could even hope to produce. And if what the note had said was true, her beloved Shishio-sama would have a beautiful keepsake of her for Christmas. In a better mood, Yumi smiled, looked into the lens and pushed the button.

…And literally had the shock of her life when the thing zapped her with all its mini shock camera might.

"BOOOOY!"

Right outside the door, Soujiro let out a bark of laughter. Too bad the gag camera didn't actually take pictures, because he would have loved to have seen her face just then.
Not more than fifty feet down the hall, Kamatari nearly dropped his customized scythe at the loud scream. What the hell was that?

"Merry Christmas, Kamatari-san!"

Whirling around, Kamatari barely caught the package as it was thrown in his direction. Steadying himself and taking note of the festive holiday wrapping, the effeminate man quickly looked up to question Soujiro, but found that the smiling boy had disappeared.

Taking this chance to examine the package, Kamatari jumped to the conclusion that it was a message for his beloved Shishio-sama by its resemblance to the box of sweets Soujiro had once used to relay some important news. Believing the Christmas wrapping was a method of disguise, he began to remove it (since, after all, there was no one to hide it from anymore). Kamatari tore off the last bits of paper and blinked at the exposed bundle.

Pretty Pretty Princess Tea Set and Makeover Kit. Ages 3 and up.

Realizing this particular package was his and his alone, Kamatari cackled.

Shishio-sama's right hand woman was no match for him with this. Now, if only he could boot the boy out of his position as right hand man as well…

Kamatari trotted off with newfound glee, murmuring excitedly about something along the lines of Shukuchi for Dummies.

While all of this was going on, Soujiro had already struck again.

It was blaringly obvious by the way Houji was drooling over his newest way to organize his master's many ingenious diabolical plots.

A device called a "PDA".

Rushing to Shishio-sama's room, Houji hurriedly knocked on the door, only entering after he heard an exasperated "come in".

Throwing open the door to relay the great news, Houji blinked.

"Can't you see I'm busy, Houji?" Shishio snapped, fully concentrated on the screen before him, "What is it you want?"

"Well, I was – you have very fine footwork, Shishio-sama. What is this machine called?"

"Not that it is your position to ask, but this is called Dance Dance Revolution. It is a gift from Soujiro," he barked, his wrappings nearly coming off with the jerky movements of his arms and legs, "Now leave so I may conquer it."

"Yes, Shishio-sama."

Houji bowed and dismissed himself, cradling the PDA as he walked back to his room.

Meanwhile, Soujiro was lying back on his bed with a satisfied smile.

"Ho ho ho."

End.

A/N: Okay then! O.o Wow, that was weird. But anyway, I want to apologize for my mistake last chapter (that two very smart people pointed out! 8D). I had meant to convey the thought that he used his knife, but somehow, I ended up saying "katana". XD -shot-