Chapter 10: Guess
Chapter 10: Guess
Even though deep down –and when I say deep down, I mean to the deepest core –I was almost happy, it wasn't enough to show on the surface. There was no difference. I still looked glum and lifeless, just as before.
But there was one difference. A difference that almost no one would notice. There was a light in my eyes. At first, I was living. During the darkest four years of my life, I stopped wanting to live. Then I was taking my life for granted, living in a frozen, numb state.
Now, I was living again. I was struggling to be the happy person that I used to be four years ago… with some help, of course.
It was lunchtime again. I wasn't hungry, as usual. I never was hungry during lunch. I guess this was the reason why I was twenty pounds underweight. I just got a drink, as usual. Then…
"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica said, "I wonder why he's sitting alone today." What? My head snapped up to see that she was telling the truth. He wasn't sitting with his family. Instead, he was isolated.
I felt some natural color return to my skin… about two percent of it. He looked at me, and my heart went on the fritz again. He motioned his finger for me to join him. I was startled. This was a complete one-eighty compared to a month ago. He winked at me, and my mouth fell open.
"Does he mean you?" Jessica asked.
"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework…" I felt the uncertainty in my voice, "Um, I'd better go see what he wants…" Once again, I asked myself, "Why can't you say no to him?"
I walked to his table, stopping in front of the seat across him. This was my last chance to say no. My mind was working against my body. My head was saying no, but my heart was saying sit down. Oh, now of all times does my heart begin to work.
"Why don't you sit with me today?" he asked. My body overpowered my mind, I sat down. I stared at him for a moment. What was I going to say?
"This is… different…" Idiot.
"Well…" he hesitated, "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."
"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," I said.
"I know," was all he said. I was a bit confused. "I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you."
"They'll survive," I didn't feel concerned about my friends for the moment. I was too busy wondering why I was sitting with Edward.
"I may not give you back, though," he teased. Or at least, I hoped that he was just teasing. I swallowed loudly.
"You look worried," he laughed.
"No," my voice broke, "Surprised, actually… What brought this on?"
"I told you," he smiled, "I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up."
"Giving up?" I repeated, baffled.
"Yes –giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may."
"You lost me again," I admitted.
"I always say too much when I'm talking to you –that's one of the problems."
"Don't worry," I reassured, "I don't understand any of it."
"I'm counting on that."
"So," I guessed, "In plain English, are we friends now?"
"Friends…" he repeated thoughtfully.
"Or not," I mumbled, embarrassed. I was in no position to make any assumptions.
He smiled, "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you."
My heartbeat suddenly went faster, "You say that a lot."
"Yes because you're not listening to me," he explained, "I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."
My eyes involuntarily tightened, "I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too." He smiled apologetically. "So," I said slowly, guessing, "As long as I'm being… not smart, we'll try to be friends?"
"That sounds about right." Finally, I guessed something right.
That reminded me of my suspicions at his humanity. I remembered when I questioned his being human. Let's see… changing eye colors, cold skin, smelling, hearing, seeing… extreme speed and super strength… What was he, modern-day Superman? No, stupid, Superman doesn't have cold skin and changing eye colors…
"What are you thinking?" he asked. I stopped playing with my lemonade bottle and looked up at him. He didn't look like the kind of person who would run around with a secret identity, saving lives and fighting bad guys. Not to mention the tights…
I blushed at the thought, "I'm trying to figure out what you are…" He was still smiling. I found that a bit odd.
"Are you having any luck with that?" he asked.
"Not too much," I admitted.
He chuckled, "What are your theories?" When I tried to think of him as a superhero, I blushed even more. No way was I ever going to tell him. Over my dead body. "Won't you tell me?" he smiled encouragingly.
I shook my head, "Too embarrassing." He wasn't Flash, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, or Wolverine… No, of course not. None of them had all of his qualities. Nope. But he couldn't possibly be human.
"That's really frustrating, you know," he remarked. Oh, I was being frustrating? Look who was talking. I let my new emotions take over. It was my turn to break out hell. I learned it from my mom, who was the best at it.
"No, I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all –just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks that were specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?" He frowned, which meant it was working. I continued, because my turn wasn't quite done yet.
"Or better, say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things –from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that either. That also, would be very non-frustrating." That was probably the longest speech I had ever made in my life. Now, I was done.
"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?" he asked. "Only since I met you."
"I don't like double standards." Then Edward suddenly chuckled. "What?"
"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you –he's debating whether or not to come and break up the fight," he laughed again.
"I don't know who you're talking about," I said in an icy voice, "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."
"I'm not," he disagreed, "I told you, most people are easy to read."
"Except me, of course," I added.
"Yes. Except for you. I wonder why that is?" he stared into my eyes. I looked away, finally opening the lemonade bottle in my hands. I took a sip then kept my eyes on the table, thinking…
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked.
"No. You?"
"No, I'm not hungry," he said.
"Could you do me a favor?" I asked.
"That depends on what you want."
"It's not much," I explained, "I just wondered… If you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good? Just so I'm prepared."
"That sounds fair," he agreed, smiling.
"Thanks," I looked up at him.
"Then can I have one in return?" he asked, hopeful.
"One," I allowed.
"Tell me one theory." Uh oh. Needed to think.
"Not that one," I flushed.
"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," he argued.
"And you've broken promises yourself," I reminded.
"Just one theory –I won't laugh," he promised.
"Yes, you will," I reassured. Needed to think… If not comic book characters, then mythical creatures… Werewolf? No, they need full moons, dimwit. Zombie? But he can speak, walk, and do everything like a normal human being could. Mermaid? … OK, now I was just being stupid. What was left then?
Vampire? … Huh… that didn't sound too farfetched… But if he were a vampire, who I'm sure he isn't, he would be sucking my blood right now. But something about this conclusion didn't seem as improbable as the others… Needed more time to think…
Too late. His liquid topaz eyes smoldered my concentration. "Please?" he whispered, my mind going blank. How in the world…?
"Er, what?" my head was spinning.
"Please tell me just one little theory," he pleaded, holding my eyes in his.
"Um, well…" Not a vampire, not a werewolf, not a zombie, definitely not a mermaid. Not a superhero, either. Think, THINK! Gah, never mind, just pick one! "Bitten by a radioactive spider?" Shoot. Here comes the flood of laughter.
"That's not very creative," he chided.
"I'm sorry, that's all I've got," I lied. There were a ton.
"You're not even close," he smiled, fighting back his laughter.
"No spiders?"
"Nope."
"No radioactivity?"
"None."
"Dang," I sighed.
"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either," he laughed.
"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?" He pressed his lips together. "I'll figure it out eventually," I promised.
"I wish you wouldn't try," he said.
"Because…?"
He smiled, "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" My eyes widened.
"Oh, I see," I said, trying to hide my alarm.
"Do you?" he asked.
"You're dangerous?" I guessed. If I was so scared, why wasn't I running away. "But not bad," I shook my head, "No, I don't believe that you're bad."
"You're wrong," he whispered. He played with the bottle cap, spinning it like a top. My thoughts were mangled. Am I scared, or am I not? Do I want to be near him or not? Then I realized…
I jumped to my feet, "We're going to be late."
"I'm not going to class," he said.
"Why not?" I was slightly disappointed. I wanted to… What did I want, anyway?
"It's healthy to ditch now and then," he explained.
"Well, I'm going," I told him. What was I doing? Did I really think that saying that would change his mind?
"I'll see you later then," he said casually as I left. I looked back at him and smiled. It was what I owed him, after all.
"Bye."