The house was empty as I suspected when I stepped into it. It was already the afternoon and walking into the kitchen realizing the hunger I felt. My mind had many thoughts swirling about as I forcefully tried to put them in the back of my head. The perfect distraction food, what to make? Digging my hands into my pockets I found the piece of paper I had forgotten about.

"Should I text him?" I asked out loud to myself as I stared at it

Reaching for my phone I flipped it open and quickly typed a txt: It's Bella this is my number and pressed send. Letting out a sigh I opened the fridge but nothing really looked appetizing until I looked over to the candle and saw a cup a noodles.

"That will do" I said as I unwrapped it and my phone buzzed

Cool. So what went down with the bloodsuckers? –Jacob

Bloodsuckers? That's not nice lol it's basically hide and seek we don't know what he really is planning -Bella

I couldn't really tell him that he was planning a 'special' night. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag but regardless I still popped in my cup of noodles into the microwave

What! That's it? Damn if it wasn't for Sam I would totally be on it I promise you that –Jacob

Thanks but it's nothing really that big I mean is like an ex stocking – Bella

I appreciated his enthusiasm but I wouldn't want him to get hurt especially something that had nothing to do with him. I know I shouldn't take this so lightly but it's true it's not like he is here to kill me … well that can be put up to interpretation. I mean at worst I become a vampire right?

Bella! You never know what is in his mind! Don't underestimate bloodsuckers! – Jacob

I know. It's just I don't want to think too much into it – Bella

I know he and everyone else is in right to think the worse but a part of me doesn't want to be scared of him. I mean I played with him! He couldn't have changed so much I just don't want to believe. I guess you can call it denial or whatever else you want.

You're just in denial bells – Jacob

It's like you can read my mind Am I crazy? – Bella

He knows me well but its different know or maybe I'm just getting weird. For a small moment I felt like we were to the old times when we were best friends but the way he looked at me tore that one moment. We can't be best friends again?

Yes! But its okay I like you that way – Jacob

There it was! What am I supposed to say to that? I mean we haven't seen each other and god knows how long and he easily says 'I like you that way'? Or am I just reading too much into it

I just don't want you to get hurt bells – Jacob

I don't want you to get hurt either. It was a mistake to bring him into this when he was nothing to do with it. Why am I so stupid!

You there? – Jacob

The beeping sound of the microwave announced that my meal was ready. Taking it out I took it up to my room as I placed it on my desk to let it cool down. I collapsed on my bed as I stared into the ceiling as my phone buzzed again.

What happened? – Jacob

Jacob I'm so sorry I should have learned better.

Sorry I just don't want you to get hurt – Bella

Huh? Bells you are talking nonsense – Jacob

I'm just tired sorry – Bella

Are you alright? Do you need me to go over? – Jacob

You can't ha-ha –Bella

Why not? – Jacob

Cause of that territories thing – Bella

Oh – Jacob

Good-bye Jacob –Bella

We can't go back to the old ways can we? – Jacob

What do you think? – Bella

Meeting up again must mean something – Jacob

We were childhood best friends we aren't children anymore – Bella

Sorry if I'm being a bitch Jacob but I need to make this clear to him. We aren't the same people that we were at eight. I can't return his enthusiasm but I will admit that I feel safe with him but where does that leave him? That wouldn't be fair.

I know it might sound too crazy but I do love you if I can say that but when I saw you today my heart was telling don't let her go this time am I too corny? – Jacob

Jacob don't do this to yourself I was never yours to let go in the first place – Bella

Ouch! Well you're just lucky that I'm here and you are there cause you might as well be on the other side of the country – Jacob

Good-bye Jacob – Bella

I'm here if you need me, bye – Jacob

There nice and easy nothing to melodramatic yet my heart ached. My old self wouldn't have done this the old me would have pursued this friendship or whatever it was. I really had changed I didn't really realize it but I had. I ran away that's what I did.

"I'm so weak!" I screamed shooting as I looked at the now cold cup of noodles. I'm not even hungry anymore.

"I can't stay like this I won't become a dull person!" I screamed again as I shoot up to my feet grabbing my towel walking toward the bathroom.

I'm going to go out and that's it

It didn't take me long for me to get out of the shower and quickly get myself dressed. I decided on a red tin-top with a big black 'X' in the center. I picked out a pair of black jeans that had tears on the knees and put on some black converse. I put on a black zip up hoodie over the shirt put left it unzipped. I decided not to put on my contacts since I didn't really feel like drawing in attention to myself. My make-up wasn't soft with heavy eyeliner and mascara only living everything else plain. My hair I let down as it easily fell over my shoulders and with one last look in the mirror I sat on my computer.

Looking up every club that were around the area and of course everyone was near Port Angeles and one actually in La Push but I couldn't risk running into Jacob not now. I decided on a club not that far away from forks but close enough to Port Angeles to be part of their district. The clubs' name was 'flamingo' at first I thought it was like a Latin club but the description was that of a techno slash rock atmosphere. A good place to lose my mind and get crazy like I used to back in phoenix. Taking the written up directions I made my way downstairs.

Charlie I'm going to meet up with some friends from to school in Port Angeles for a movie – Bella

It's good that you've meet some good friends have fun – Charlie

I know I'm not being fair to Charlie but he was content with being 'normal' and all I can really do is pretend. I'm sorry I can't be you're little girl anymore

I stopped being her a long time ago and I know exactly the moment I stopped being her. The moment where to me the world crashed down, the moment when I didn't want to be me anymore, the moment I hated myself and I was never going back.

"Stop thinking!" I screamed to myself as I turned on my truck and it roared to life. Taking the long road to the club I couldn't help but notice the small path to the Cullen's home. I wonder if they could hear my truck. I wonder that they were doing at this exact moment? What about Edward?

"Edward!" my harsh tone of voice almost scared me as I shook my head. Out of all of them Edward seemed to be most mysterious the one that by looking at him you really couldn't tell his personality. Rosalie you know she was the type who was really hot-headed who made things her way or no way but I think Emmett was her weakness along with her family even if she seems so… um independent in nice words. Alice in the other hand seemed freer but yet her every move seemed to be made with a purpose not so much of impulse but yet went great with Jasper who seemed really closed up even with his family. Esme well what can I say she was a mother very much protective and loving as well as like Carlisle.

And then there leaves Edward a complete mystery. I mean he didn't say much and when he did it wasn't enough for me to make a judgment on. A part of me was intrigued but the other half was like whatever but not really. How do I explain it? It was like my hand wanted to reach up and touch him while the other wanted to just hold his hand if that makes sense.

The club came into view just as I reached the city limits and too my surprise it seemed crowded even this early, it was only 7. Parking the car I made my way to the doors where a couple of guys were hanging around.

"Hey baby solo?" one of them said as he stepped in front of me

"Buy me a drink and I'll save you a dance" I said with a smile as I walked around him into the club.

There was a long hallway that led to two other door but two men stood there as they both looked at me. They both were obviously bulky like wrestlers but even so they looked young no older than maybe 25.

"ID?" one of them asked as I reached them. Reaching into my pocket I took out my ID to show it to them and luckily they didn't make a deal that it wasn't from here. Yes, it was fake but I've never been caught with it.

"Okay you're good" he said and he opened the door and into view came the dance floor were people already stood dancing.

The music was techno even if not my favorite but it was tolerable but it's not like a came to dance. I took a seat on the bar and ordered my first drink to very cute bartender. He looked at me for awhile and I knew he was doubting my age but hey I was in here right? so he quickly got to work and handed me drink.

It didn't take long for the group of guys who were outside to step in and the guy who had stopped me was searching the room. I took my eyes of them as I knew he would soon make his way to me.

"Hey" right on queue he said as I turned to look at him

"Hey" I said this time not smiling as I took the last sip of my drink

"You want another one?" he asked as he pointed at my cup and I simply nodded

"What's your name?" he as he handed me the drink

"Bella and you?"

"Oh that fits you perfectly mine is Morgan" he said as he took his drink and clinked it against mine and I just laughed. He was trying to hard

"How about that dance?" he said as he nodded toward the dance floor

"Sure" I said

We made our way to the dance floor and he took no time in wrapping his arms around my waist as he started to grind against me. This is why I hated to dance this grinding dancing disgusted me it made me feel like I was a pole and he had an itch to get rid of.

"Another dance?" he said as I started to pull away from him

"I'm going to the bathroom be right back" I said as I walked away from him and saw the restroom sign on the corner.

How long had it been already? An hour at the most maybe more and I wasn't able to escape him as he constantly was there with me. This wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be more like a hassle. Splashing a little of water on my cheeks I wiped my hands and got out of the bathroom just to see Morgan there waiting for me. Yes, this was a mistake

"Hey you want another drink?" he asked we made our way to the bar

"No, I still need to drive home" I said

"I'll get you a taxi later no problem" he said reassuringly as he ordered two drinks

"I said no" I told him

"C'mon get crazy for a day don't you want to?" he asked me

Get crazy? It was happening again this feeling in my body. The adrenaline was kicking in as my head nodded against my will. This is what I wanted anyway right? To let lose for awhile.

"Good girl" he said as he handed my drink

"Good boy" I said back to him which caused him to chuckle.

He kept that drinks coming but they soon turned into shots. The night soon started to become hazy but not in a drunk way more like was starting to feel it. The beat of the music was making my body react as I danced and he grinded against me. The music pulsed through my veins as I became unsteady on my feet. At this point you would think I would stop drinking but nope I felt like I should drink more.

One shot, and another shot, another, another, another and another

I was gone