CHAPTER TEN
Erin Purser
"You need to text Brian back Erin, seriously I'm not kidding around now!" Noah shouted to me through my bedroom door and I turned to volume up on the docking station trying to drown him out.
I rolled onto my chest sinking my face further into the pillow and ignoring his demands. I'd been staring at the message for the past week and had been reluctant to reply to his question. But Noah had been bugging me about it since yesterday and I was still as unwilling to respond.
"Erin you need to get some clothes, on your going back to school. Hurry up I have a car that needs servicing" he quipped launching a pair of jeans towards me from my wardrobe.
I groaned into the pillows unwilling to move from the safe sanctuary of my bedroom where the cruel world outside could be shut off.
"I am not kidding around Erin. I want you dressed and down stairs in ten minutes. You are going back. You've had enough wallowing in self pity. You either go to college or you come to work with me" he warned and when I refused to answer he decided for me.
"Fine, fine. You'll come to work with me then. But on Monday your going back. I swear Erin, you need to get out of the house. When was the last time you breathed fresh air!" He accused and I turned to stare at him.
"I don't want to go to the garage" I groaned my throat dry.
"Tough" he shrugged and slammed the door on me.
It truly wasn't fair. My sister spent her time successfully avoiding any need for a job, lounging in front of the television with are Grandparents where as me having a week off was deemed unacceptable.
I may have disliked Noah's decision but I respected him enough to go along with it. I hung the jeans back up he'd thrown at me and began to make my bed. Pulling the sheets taught and stacking the pillows in the correct pattern. I pulled a brush through my hair unable to tame the bed hair which was like a mane. I flicked through the wardrobe until I found the fluffiest sweater I owned and paired in with a pair of cuffed sweatpants. If if knew anything about that garage, it was that it was freezing. It took me a few more minutes of flapping to locate a book and be off down the stairs.
Noah was waiting expectantly at the doorway looking at my outfit questioningly.
"We are walking, Erin" he noted looking suspiciously at the fluffy pink sweater.
"So?" I muttered putting one of his fleeces from the coat stand and a oversized scarf of Paige's which was the size of a picnic blanket.
He shook his head as if he couldn't form the words and I jammed my feet into some trainers.
Noah knew I disliked moving vehicle , and I seemed to be even more uncomfortable when others where driving them. At least when I was in the driving seat I had some control. Plus Noah liked going fast, really fast. I'd take the walk any day.
The air was cold, but it always felt like that in La Push, winter seemed to stretch on forever. I took a deep breath allowing the cool air to fill my lungs and wake me as we stepped out.
"Have you taken your medication?" Noah broke into my thoughts as he slowed to allow me to catch him up, his pace unbearably quick.
"Of course" I lied and he looked at me dubiously.
"Right, well you just need to stay out of the way today okay. No funny business. And no flapping about stuff here. I haven't got time for you … if you start feeling angsty then just pop a pill okay" he demanded gruffly and I looked at him with disgust.
"Sure" I agreed submissively and the conversation was ended as Noah strode ahead along the pavement and I didn't attempt to catch up with his this time.
Sally: Erin I spoke to Noah, he told me about it all. Your Mum saw my Mum and she reckons you will be back soon. I hope so. Because Brady and Colin keep asking about you. I was blunt on your behalf, although I couldn't quite be as cold as you! Anyhow they said they're asking for Quil. So they're you go xoxo
Erin: Thanks for that, great just great. I may as well just publish an article in the paper about it and be done with it.
Sally: Hey that's a good idea! You could inspire people to deal with their anxiety. Promote people's knowledge xoxo
Erin: I was being sarcastic …
Sally: Oh x Wanna go out for some ice-cream tonight? xoxo
Erin: I don't eat ice-cream. Do I want to go out and watch you eat ice-cream, sure why not.
Sally: Are you being sarcastic again?xoxo
Erin: Pick me up from the garage.
I had changed the radio station six times and Noah was beginning to scowl at me, every time he came into my line of vision his face was hard and I felt a nervous pang.
The garage was colder than usual even though he kept the shutter half closed. I hated the smell in here, it made my head pulse as I analysed all the risk factors associated with this building.
"What would happen, if that winch just broke you know, and you just got … squashed?" I questioned looking at the car with a wary stare.
"If I got squashed Erin then you wouldn't be going to University would you?" He snapped pulling himself out from under the vehicle to glare at me.
"Right" I agreed. "Maybe you should you know, not go back under there?" I suggested trying to sound casual.
He laughed at me and ducked back under and I puffed in frustration.
I stretched out on the worn sofa which springs dug unpleasantly into my back. The radio was humming in the background and my eyes felt heavy.
Sleep was pulling at me but I knew from experience not to fall asleep here. The sofa was painfully old, and lying on it for to long left you crippled in pain. Not to mention you were left in full view of anyone who walked into the place.
No, my preferred spot was shoved in the darkest part of the garage, long abandoned to any inhabitant and made it ideal for napping. I pulled a thick blanket with me from the sofa and slid away from Noah's presence.
The garage was only really used to half its capacity because it was littered with Noah's and Jacob's projects. None of which had ever amounted to anything. It also meant it was littered with obstacles and I kept my eyes wide as I dodged tools and dismantled engines.
My head pounded from stress as I weighed up the risk of sleeping in the car. Although it was a secluded part of the garage I had an innate fear of being forgotten about. I'd been locked in once, by mistake and the garage seemed to be inhabited by rats at night. It may have only been for ten minutes, before Noah realised and shot back for me. But at fourteen it was the scariest ten minutes of my life.
My phone buzzed again in my back pocket and my eyes bolted down to the screen flashing brightly.
Brian: Erin I know your ignoring me. Noah has booked you in for a lesson next week. I will see you then, don't bail on me this time, and no more breakdowns in the mean time please!
I shuddered as I read the text frowning at his joking nature. How could someone so easily make light of such a dark situation.
I through the phone into the front seat of the car I always slept in. It had been here a long time, and I didn't quite understand what they boys were intending to do with it. To me it looked like it had no real potential. It wasn't a classic, it was just a car.
Spreading the blanket out along the backseats I clambered between the gap of the front to seat and curled myself up in the back my head resting against the familiar smell. I didn't know much about cars, Noah teased I didn't know much about anything really. But I knew this one had a name, I'd take a photograph of it to ask Quil about it.
He told me it was a VW Rabbit , and seemed somewhat smug. I always slept in it when I was in the garage. It was the only place in the building that felt safe. It was the only space that calmed me enough to stay put. I looked at the time willing the hands of the clock to move that little bit quicker. After all I couldn't sleep the entire day away, no matter how much I may have wanted to.
I bolted up banging my head on the car roof and feeling my breath hitch in, a panicked shaky breaths as I heard the fist continuing to bang on the window.
My eyes met the challenge Jacob back presented. He looked angry, really angry.
I pulled the blanket protectively around me, a slight glow coming from the garage lights which were centred in the middle of the room which cast shadows around us. It was almost every in here.
"Purser, get out of my car" he grunted gesturing for me to move.
"I'm sleeping" I grunted my mind still groggy as I tried to register the conversation.
"Seriously Purser, get out" Jacob barked his voice stern as if I'd hit a nerve.
I widened my eyes, I felt as if I'd been slapped. My mind was trying to splutter a response but no words came out and I looked around the dark space feeling the walls of the car beginning to entrap me.
My hands pulled me through the gap between the front seats and Jacob's hand steadied me as I spilled from the car an entanglement of limbs.
"I didn't know it was your car. I assumed it was Noah's. It just sits here, it never moves. I didn't mean to upset you" I stumbled through my apology clutching up the blanket which had begun to drag along the floor.
"You should go" he addressed coldly his eyes harsh and I felt as if I may snap under his glare.
"I'm sorry I upset you" I mumbled and he looked for a moment as if he was going to say something. But the instance passed and we stood in silence in the dark garage.
I began to move away from Jacob, I stepped along on weary feet and produced an involuntary yawn arching my back. The sound filled the space and my eyes felt heavy still.
"Purser, wait" Jacob called after me and I paused as his feet hit the ground heavy and barefooted.
"I'm sorry" he admitted looking at me with those dark eyes, he seemed lost. "It's just. Well Billy's been in hospital and …" he broke of with a shrug.
"You have coffee here right?" I asked and he looked at me as if I was perplexing.
"Let's have a drink" I suggested taking a nervous breath as I reached out to touch him. My hand shook as I rested my hand in his and pulled gently.
My legs felt like jelly and my heart hammered against my chest waiting for a rejection which would tip me over the edge. But to my surprise Jacob laced his fingers through mine and we walked back into the light, towards the uncomfortable sofa.
I kept a safe distance from Jacob as we sat on opposite ends of the sofa. I was careful, keeping my eyes down and my voice gentle. My confidence had dissolved into a puddle of uncertainty and I couldn't meet his glare.
I struggled to remind myself that this was normal. That I talked like this with Quil all the time. But every time I caught Jacob staring I knew that this was nothing like it was when Quil spoke to me.
"Jake?" I asked looking down into my coffee cup which was steaming in my face. "Why don't you live with your Dad, your still young. You haven't lived in La Push for a while" I questioned.
"I left, a long time ago. And when I came back, I tried to stay with Billy. But he didn't agree with what I had done, what I was doing. So he kicked me out. I got another place" he shrugged.
"I'd like to live somewhere else" I decided stretching out slightly on the sofa. "I'd like to live some place quiet, calm you know? It's always so cramped, so busy in my house. I feel like sometimes my head might just explode from all the noise. There's so much judgment there" I explained wringing my hands.
"Don't you go anywhere, to escape I mean?" He asked.
"I don't like being outside. I know it sounds weird. But it can be daunting you know, being outside, alone. I tend to avoid the woods, and the coast line. Sometimes I sit in the library, or go to a café. But most of the time, I just end up stuck where I am. I may hate my house but I feel safe there. Being in other places, I feel vulnerable" I explained picking at the pink pullover.
"Do you feel vulnerable now?" He asked his voice dark.
"I feel exposed. But then that's because I'm telling you stuff I don't ever tell anyone, not even Sally or Quil. I don't know why I'm doing that …" I broke of looking down into the dark liquid of the black coffee that I wouldn't drink.
"Maybe you just like talking to me" he suggested with a grin.
"Maybe" I mused and pretended to take a sip of the warm drink.
"It's nice living alone, but you know it's not all its cracked up to be. It gets lonely. Being in a house all on your own" he shrugged.
"Do you get lonely" I stated more than asked and he looked a little sheepish.
"I used to, once. But not anymore … I have the Pack, I mean I have my friends. You know; Quil, Embry, Seth, Jared … they keep me company. I see Noah a lot to" he added thoughtfully.
"I don't think it's about having people around you. My life is bustling with people. But sometimes I feel so isolated. So alone. Its like no one understands me, no one understands how it feels … these emotions" I complained feeling dejected.
"Maybe it's because you don't want people to understand Erin. Maybe it's because you wont admit there is something they need to understand. Your not like other girls, your different" he admitted.
"I don't mind being different" I quipped defensively.
"But people don't always get different. Your anxiety makes you different" Jacob said softly as if waiting for my defence.
"I don't have anxiety" I disagreed with another yawn. "I am just highly-strung, highly-attuned, but I am not … anxious" I disagreed setting the mug down onto the concrete floor.
"Your friend dropped in, you know Sally, about an hour ago. She seemed to think you'd be here. I told her you weren't. I went to lock up but it got me thinking …" he broke of and I nodded in understanding of how he'd found me.
"I'm so tiered" I complained again stretching out like a cat on the sofa and Jacob looked at me his eyes lidded and full of darkness.
"Go to sleep then" he chuckled.
"No. There's rats here at night" I admitted stubbornly pushing myself up. "I should go home" I decided the sensible part of my mind alerting me of how dangerous it would be to fall asleep in the company of Jacob Black,.
"I could keep them away" he suggested.
"I wouldn't get much sleep knowing you're here" I confessed and Jacob looked taken aback, I couldn't decide if he was hurt, or surprised. "Although you can walk me home" I decided standing upright.
"It's dark" I muttered lowly. "I have … I dislike the dark" I phrased the sentence carefully in explanation.
"Your scared of the dark" he smiled and shook his head as if it shouldn't surprise him.
"I dislike it" I corrected my voice sharp as I led us from the garage, I tried to sound confident and in control, but I didn't pull back when Jacob took my hand as we stepped out into the night.
Authors Note: Well hello readers, I've given you what you all wanted some more Jacob and Erin time! Is Erin right to be wary of Jacob still? Do you think she's just going to get herself hurt?
Next chapter we seen Brian devise a plan to try and help improve Erin's confidence in driving.
Please check out DOING IT THE BLONDE WAY which has just been updated!
Love hearing your thoughts so please leave me a review!
Brookeworm3 thanks for the review! Yeah I think lots of people have had situations like that, it's horrible. Good for you for leaving it behind you! I haven't written Bella into the mix yet although she is definitely on the cards somewhere, after all if Jacob does decide to show Erin his life and the real truth, he will have to explain where he is disappearing of to almost every weekend. I like your ideas they are something I will be considering. I am certainly hoping that Jake is going to be able to help Erin out with her list of fears :) Hope you enjoyed the update.
JessicaxGriffel thank you for following and favouriting the story, you live in a beautiful country! I like the look of your Twilight and Harry Potter stories (I love Roaslie). And thank you so much for following my profile, i hope you've found Doing it the Blonde Way!
LongLive11 thanks for the follow on Hair Pin Curve! I love the quote on your profile it's beautiful. Also your own stories look very interesting.